


Rebirth

by Yomuski



Category: jikook - Fandom, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Angst, Eating Disorders, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-17
Updated: 2018-12-14
Packaged: 2019-05-08 05:06:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 51
Words: 95,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14687112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yomuski/pseuds/Yomuski
Summary: Jeon Jungkook - a tattoo artist, photographer and hopeless romantic who doesn't care much about what other people think of himandPark Jimin - the singer of the 3-man-idol-group JRJ, aiming for perfection in everything he doeswill these two get along?orA story in which Jeon Jungkook will positively ruin Park Jimin's life.





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story starts in early 2018 and takes place in the South Korea we know.  
> Please be reminded that this is an AU fan fiction, though.  
> Please do not read if you're uncomfortable with the main ship of Jungkook and Jimin or if the topic of eating disorders triggers you.   
> The fan fiction will be written in the first (mainly changing between Jimin's and Jungkook's pov) and third person. Knowing it can be confusing, I try to write as clearly as possible and also introduce you to who's talking by using "Jimin's PointOfView", etc. at the beginnings.  
> Now this is mainly a journey through the hardships of Jimin's life and how it's changed through Jeon Jungkook. Therefore the eating disorder will play a big part in it, so it can get quite angsty with the depressive thoughts. Smut will occasionally occur, too, but not too much.  
> This is my first fan fiction in DECADES. English is not my native language, my apologies.  
> I will also add screenshots of messages between the characters. I wish I could have used kakaotalk for it, but I will have to stick to iMessages for that. All pictures that are used are edited or drawn by me (IG @k.kokoronashi).  
> Have fun (hopefully).

Jeon Jungkook was a young man, blessed with many talents. He was good at singing, drawing and photography. Yet, getting into the idol industry has never been something he had pursued. He had always been what people would call different, not exactly in the good way and therefore he knew he wouldn’t be an appropriate representation of the youth, or so he thought. Jungkook loved to express himself in his unique way and was known as one of the best young tattoo artist for floral motives in Seoul at the age of only 24. 

Tattooing was a grey zone in Korea. Unlike other countries with tattoo shops on open streets, the process of inking took place in rented apartments or small, somewhat hidden, studios. Jungkook loved this forbidden part about his word, the secretive and mysterious touch it had. 

Now his job wasn’t well accepted in his family. While most preferred to keep quiet about it, his parents had often tried to talk him out of it. Whether it was for the reason they both shared the belief a body should not be changed in that way or were worried about the fact their son was doing something illegal, Jungkook wanted to be happy at the end of the day and don’t care about what if’s. It’s needless to say Jungkook wasn’t completely satisfied with his life in South Korea, the closed-minded society had always been a burden on his shoulders. Although he wasn’t particularly unhappy either, countries like America, in his imagination the place with no limits and where being different was a good thing, had always attracted him enough to consider relocating. First, he was too young and lacked money and sufficient English skilly, second, he had always dreamt of leaving Korea with the love of his life which leads to another problem: Jungkook was gay. That wasn’t a problem to him, as he had accepted his sexuality, his parents not so much, but it was much harder for the same gender to date and be affectionate. While his mother’s biggest problem was understanding that Jungkook would not give her grandchildren, Jungkook had yet to find a suitable partner who he could spoil with all his romantic ideals of the perfect relationship. He never meant to make a secret of being gay, he was just careful with whom he would share personal information in general.

Someone he could always rely on, however, was Min Yoongi. Yoongi was Jungkook’s mentor when it came to music and tattooing. He had met him after leaving Busan after his graduation at the age of 18 to move to Seoul. Ever since, the three years older male had taken care of who felt like a brother to him, allowed him into his place and life. And even if Yoongi’s patience wasn’t to be joked with, the two have always been very close, even after Jungkook had moved to his own place. Together with another old rap and tattoo buddy Woo Jiho, Jungkook and Yoongi had rented an apartment to work which was located in Hongdae.

  
  


Park Jimin, on the other hand, was quite the opposite in some ways. Raised by strict but loving parents, Jimin had learned early to meet others expectations. He had always studied hard and graduated from a highly ranked art school, before he became a trainee to become an idol. 

He was known for his strong, yet soft voice that mixed well with the two rappers in his group RM and J-Hope. JRJ were popular, especially in Asia. Jimin was in charge of the visuals in the group, even if he did not quite meet the Korean image of perfection. Jimin had mono-eyelids, chubby cheeks that gave him a boyish look and was only 1.72 when he debuted. 

Ever since he got into trainee, he started dieting, his cheeks slowly made place for a sharp jawline and his well trained upper body soon stood in contrast to his adorable face. 

It was a role that he had learned to play, but he started to lose control. The line between hard work and torturing his body, between dieting and overexercising, between dieting and starving, between being tired and burnt out became blurry and it took its toll on Jimin. He was a perfectionist, of course willed to fulfill the impossible task of being loved by everyone.

  
  


Today those two were destined to meet.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so I am currently editing the ff i impulsively wrote and published on wattpad.   
> it's actually the first ff i am writing in english.  
> care to let me know what you think so far? :3

Jungkook loved photography and while sceneries were always nice with the right weather or light, it were people he had more fun capturing, people with all their little quirks and emotions. However, the idol world was nothing he was fond of. Not only didn’t he want to be part of it in the means of being an idol himself, but they were the ones shaping and/or reflecting the society the most and this was something he just didn’t fit in. Whether it was himself feeling uncomfortable as if he was forced to wear a suit and necktie while he usually preferred jeans and shirts or the fact that people were mostly treating him differently, he usually declined offers like this. However, two things made him change his mind that day. For once, the money was good, second, it was about JRJ which means Jungkook would get the chance of seeing Jimin close up in person and not from a hundret meter distance when he was attending their concerts. Needless to say, Jungkook was a fanboy of Park Jimin. 

Packing his camera and equipment, he sat down in his black matte Hyundai and drove to the location. Of course he would try to catch Jimin’s attention as much as possible, while still remaining professional. And once his car was parked, Jungkook made sure he looked presentable. He was wearing his favourite blue lenses that stood in contrast to his dark brown smokey eye makeup. He spent another three minutes trying to figure whether he should comb his hair out of his face or leave it partly covering it. In the end he decided to stick to his usual hairstyle and used a little more gel here and there to define some strands, before he put his black hair into place to achieve that arty messy look on his head.  
Winking at himself, he finished with a “You got this, Jungkook,” before he entered the location with all his stuff. 

 

Jimin usually didn't care who was behind the camera, he was just doing his job. But the image he was having weighed heavily on the shoulders which would get skinnier and skinnier. His expression often emotionless or insecure. Was he happy? No one could tell, not even Jimin himself. What he could say for sure was that having a comeback always came with mixed feelings. Having lives, singing and dancing was what he had always wanted, but the preparations, video and photo shoots and dieting were hard and while aiming for the best results, Jimin was happy when the shooting would be over. 

Jungkook tried to not care about the stares he was receiving from some of the staff. He quickly greeted his friend, the fashion coordinator, and quietly thanked him for this opportunity. Bambam knew Jungkook’s weakness for Park Jimin, but that wasn’t the main reason he had put effort into convincing the others that Mr. Jeon would be their man. “Don’t disappoint me, alright? I promised them you were one of the best, so don’t get lost in your crush or they’ll fire both of us!” Bambam winked at him and playfully nudged his shoulder.

“Pinky promise!” Jungkook laughed it off and quickly set up his equipment while being introduced to today’s concept. Once he was all set, JRJ entered the location, almost making Jungkook choke on his own spit. He’s already seen Jimin at various lives, but never so close. It took him a while to get over the initial shock of the freshly colored blond hair and the stronger eye makeup. Various necklaces were hanging down on his chest. He was wearing a white tank top under a olive colored bomber jacket that perfectly matched his loose baggy pants with the army print.  
Jungkook had missed to look at the others as he was fascinated by Jimin and his breath got stuck in his throat the very moment his model looked into Jungkook’s camera. 

"What a beautiful man" was all that was on his mind, he didn't even realize the words actually slipped his lips. Luckily no one had heard him. Jungkook was quick to give the first instructions, the sound of the shutters filling up the room. 

It didn’t take Jungkook long to figure that something wasn’t feeling right. The others were doing a good job, but Jimin, his pictures just didn’t come out the way he had imagined them. He had rarely seen such a perfect being, so ethereal, but drained from life. "What happened to you?" He whispered and continued taking pictures, ambitious to find a way to capture actual emotions. Jungkook had seen it quite often, being a fan of JRJ ever since they debuted. Jimin looked exhausted, as if he couldn’t carry the responsibilities of being an idol anymore, but seeing it so close up, capturing it with his own camera, was heartbreaking. 

 

 

When it was time to change outfits, Jungkook left the set to follow Jimin into the dressing room. Did he have a plan? No. Did he know what he was doing? Definitely not.  
Jimin was used to fans following them, waiting for them at airports, hotels, even restaurants, but he had never encountered anyone from the set to be stalking him.  
"What the..." He just exclaimed which made Jungkook smirk, but deep down he was asking himself the same.  
"I thought I could get to see you naked" Jungkook joked, but mentally slapped himself for this unnecessary comment. He had actually only planned to straight out ask Jimin whether he was ok and tell him about the fact he looked emotionless on the pictures, but here he was, risking to get kicked out in a minute. 

"Get out you pervert, how unprofessional are you?!" The blond male barked at him, eyes squinting. But Jungkook got closer without meaning to be intimidating to the smaller.  
"You do have emotions, why is there nothing in your eyes when I take pictures of you?" He asked, calmness in his low voice. 

"I don't know what you mean" Jimin whispered and lowered his head, not just to avoid looking at the taller male. He knew well what Jungkook meant, it was the emotionless face that stared back at him each time he looked in the mirror. Each time he thought his cheeks still weren't thin enough, his abs still not defined enough, his thighs too thick. Being a perfectionist could be a blessing when it came to his job, obvious in the way he danced and sang, but it was a curse when it came to how he felt about himself. 

"Give me a smile?" Jungkook asked and gave the other the softest smile he could possible put on his own lips, but it didn't work. "Come on.." he tried again, a finger quickly poking the idol's side, hoping he was ticklish so he could force out a laugh. "Do you hate me that much already?" Jungkook was now the laughing one, giving up. 

"Maybe..." Jimin mumbled in response. The idol wasn’t one to hate people, he was too much of a good soul for that. The harshest punishment one could get from the blond was being ignored.  
As cold as the idol wanted to remain, he couldn’t help the corners of his lips that tugged up into a barely visible smile, as he spotted the bunny teeth that were oddly cute for a man that was so tall, tattooed and pierced. Jimin, still holding his pants in front of his lower body, so the male wouldn't see him in his boxers, got caught in the moment. His eyes were glued to the other's face. The silver ring that now, thanks to his wide smile, wasn't perfectly positioned in the middle of his bottom lip was sparkling in the light. He noticed the grey-blue lenses that thought fit so well with the makeup and dark hair that partly covered his face. It looked messy, but in a good way. Jimin was left puzzled. He tried not to care, but couldn't help but growing curious who this man was and what he was up to.  
Unconsciously looking down at him, he noticed a bit of something that would obviously pass as a rose tattoo on his neck. Jimin's hands got weak at the imagination of how much pain this must have been. The roughly ten centimeters taller man was surely a weird one, but even weirder was the fact that Jimin was eager to learn more about him.


	3. Chapter 3

Against all the worst case scenarios that popped up in his head after he had acted like a total idiot and stalked no other but the legendary Park Jimin up in the dressing room, Jungkook was glad he wasn’t already been pulled out of the photo shoot by his hair. It seemed as if he didn’t upset Jimin that much with his unintentional creepiness. Even better, he actually saw another side of the idol which he now only had to capture with his camera.

 

"Jimin-ssi, hurry" RM's voice pulled the said one out of his state of trance, his attention turning to the source of the voice.  
RM tilted his head from side to side, looking from his band member to the photographer in attempt to understand what was going on, but soon left, the confusion written in his face. The rapper made a mental note to address this at a better moment. He trusted Jimin enough to call for help if he needed some and as weird as the situation looked to the leader, Jimin didn’t seem to be scared or intimidated by their photographer.

"I'll see you back on the set, don’t put that mask back on." Jungkook said and flashed a cheeky smile at the obviously left confused Jimin.

"Aish... what a weirdo" the smaller mumbled to himself and slid into his clothes, by now assisted by the staff. One who adjusted his jacket, one who repositioned his blond locks, one who put another layer of a sheer pink lipgloss on his plump lips. Lips Jungkook wanted to kiss whenever he stumbled upon the idol on social medias.  
Jimin had his eyes closed and endured all the fiddling. Honestly spoken, he hated it, but it was part of his job. It was part of his dream, wasn't it? Wasn't it his dream?

 

Jungkook went back behind his camera that was connected to a laptop a meter or two away from him. When he took his place, he felt himself being glared at by no other but Bambam. “You’re not fucking it up already, do you, bunny?” Bambam dramatically pushed his wine red locks out of his hair, staring at Jungkook through his green lenses.  
Not intimidated at all, the male nibbled on his pierced lip and shook his head, a hint of embarrassment still showing, as he was crossing his arms, nervously looking down to his feet.  
“I’m warning you, Jeon.” He said again, the mood much lighter by now.  
“I am not that crazy, ok? I know my limits,” He tried to defend himself, but didn’t sound too convinced himself, remembering that he just walked into Jimin undressing, after all, “I guess.” Jungkook added along with a smirk to cover up for his doubts. “But thanks for calling me, he’s much hotter face to face.” Jungkook flashed an honest smile up at Bambam, before bringing him closer with his arm wrapped around the other’s shoulder.  
“You better kiss my feet.”  
“I’ll suck your toe, prince of Thailand.” Jungkook joked, but was wuick to change topics. “How’s Yugyeom?”  
“Busy bee, as always. But good.”

And while the two were having their little talk, JRJ gathered around the monitor to which the pictures were uploaded which Jungkook only noticed when one of the staff who hurried to fix RM’s hair, almost ran into him. Before his eyes wandered back to rest on Jimin, he felt J-Hope’s piercing eyes boring into him that caused his remaining smile to vanish in a heartbeat. Had he said something wrong? Did J-Hope hear him talking about how hot Jimin was? Or was he just another judgemental person? Jungkook smiled it off and turned back to his camera, pretending he had some setups to take care of.

Jimin in the meanwhile, unfazed by J-Hope’s and Jungkook’s stare battle, eyed the photos closely, bent into the screen so far, his nose would almost boop against the surface. The photographer’s words were echoing in his mind as he now studied his own expression, especially his eyes. His orbs looked dark, no joy in life showing in the studio light reflection in them. Jimin couldn’t tell whether he was amazed by what a good job the male was doing by noticing it so quickly or shocked about the fact he looked so done with life.  
Without one word, Jimin got back on set, a determined look on his face.

 

Jungkook’s gaze was again focused on him him, his eyes ever-so big. Jimin looked back at him, locking their eyes for a brief moment, before he cracked a smile, a genuine one, Jungkook could tell by the sudden sparkle in his eyes. Not wasting the moment, Jungkook pressed the shutter right away, just to capture his beauty. Even if it wasn't going to be a picture that will be chosen, this was going right to his drive at home, so he could at least keep it for himself. Yes, he really was a fanboy of Park Jimin.  
But his act did not stay unnoticed. Jimin, who didn’t even start posting but just dumbly smiled at the photographer, was lowering his gaze to the camera, just to break out into a soft giggle. The sounds meeting Jungkook's ears caused his heart to skip a beat. Jimin's eyesmile along with the way his shoulders wiggled when he was chuckling, his crooked tooth in the front and his small nose suddenly getting so wide was gettin the best of him. What was he getting himself into?


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> get to know Jungkook a little more in his POV :3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will add the pictures I've been using on wattpad too :3

**Jungkook's pov**

 

It wasn't easy to stay professional. I've found my new muse in Jimin. This little ball of fluff just had too many sides I wanted to capture. I nearly forgot there were two others I had to get the best of. 

 

Bambam and his elbow helped me to pull myself together and with time passing I grew confident that neither I nor my friend had to fear our job. Once I got emerged into photographing, there was no stopping me. After what felt like ten minutes to me, the shooting was over. Everyone seemed to be happy with my job and while it didn’t surprise me, it was still flattering.

We were bowing at each other and I proceeded to gather my equipment while being babbled at about how and when to choose the pictures. I was listening, it was just boring me, nothing I would show, obviously. Taking pictures and editing them were the fun parts to me, not all the talking in between, but I knew well how necessary it was. 

Nodding an ok and bowing to thank them for the collaboration I mentally wrote down the said date to sort out the pictures and made sure to not leave anything behind. 

 

Only when I saw the boys already back in their own outfits, bare faced, I realized they were about to leave and I had no chance to get any closer to that damn boy, yet. What did I want from him? Hell, I've got no idea, he just amazed me too much to go separate ways. It was as if he was a freaking magnet that was able to attract my attention with his simple present. Was it too much to say I wanted to get to know him, be his friend or more? Probably. 

Trying to come up with a way to at least try my luck, I got lost in Jimin once again. Even without make u he was so pretty, his skin so smooth-looking with the natural glow on the apples of his cheeks. His plump lips were dragged into a smile as he was playing with his phone and my eyes wandered down his body. He looked so squishy, I wanted to hug him and I wanted those damn lips on mine, please, now….How thankful I was that mindreading wasn't a thing in 2018, yet. I would be making a fool of myself. 

 

Did I have a plan, yet? As if. I just challenged my luck. Scribbling down my number with a little messy winking bunny and a heart on a piece of paper, I quickly ripped off as much as needed and made my way over to him. I bowed to them, thanking them for the cooperation, but only had my eyes on Jimin. 

Yes, I was totally whipped, if you haven't noticed yet. Looking at him and his still somewhat styled hair, I once again failed to like all the editing they did on every damn picture they were publishing. Even close up he had a beautiful and soft looking skin, unlike me, little to no scars of acne or any outbreaks and then there were his cute moles and something that looked like freckles. It was admirable. With the paste on his face gone, his skin tone appeared to be much darker which I always found more appealing than paleness. I have piercings and tattoos, I like tanned skin and I speak my mind, I'm not what you call a typical Korean. Coming from Busan, I always enjoyed roasting my bum in the sun at the beach.  _ Ah, I miss that.  _

 

"Jimin-sshi?" RM threw me back to the harsh reality, I still had no idea how to hand him the paper without everyone making it obvious how gay I was for Park Jimin. I was more worried about him being embarrassed than myself, just to be clear. 

"I'm coming in a second" Jimin said and flashed a small confirming smile at him. 

That guy was protective about my little fluff, I figured. But what else was I expecting? He saw me with him when Jimin was undressing, of course he wasn't fond of me and he was the leader after all. 

I turn my attention back to Jimin once the others were gone and smiled. My heart was racing to say the least. 

"Sorry I creeped you out earlier. I know you're all famous and so on, but if you ever need someone who doesn't judge to hang out with, it'd be my pleasure," I said and held the piece of paper between my index and middle finger, hesitatingly reaching it out for him to take it. 

"Thanks," Jimin laughed and took it.

That wasn't so hard? I bowed again and grinned widely at him, as he nodded his head a thank you, shoved the little note in the pocket of his tight jeans and left. 

My eyes were following him, not missing that he looked like he owned the world when he walked and how cutely his apple butt was moving, until he was out of sight. 

“You gave him your number?” I heard Bambam saying from behind me, but I was only looking at him when I was able to peel my eyes off Jimin.

“Yeah.”

“Good job, I hope he’ll call!”

“Thanks man, also for today.”

“You owe me one!” Bambam wiggled his brows at me, making me roll my eyes, but he was right.

“Pizza at my place?” I suggested to which he quickly agreed. 

Once we made sure to collect all our belongings and put them into our cars, we headed to my place, separately. Bambam and I ordered pizza, talked about the day, our jobs and men. It was hard to stay focused. I felt my brain zoning out whenever he was talking too long, his words sounding like nothing more than a whistle to me, while I stared at my phone. I couldn’t wait to look at all those shots I took today, but I had enough manners to not throw him out because I wanted some romantic time with my laptop and phone. 

 

The hope faded with each time I looked at my phone, although I avoided muting it, and saw no notification from an unknown number. I was still hopeful the first days, knowing he was busy with all the preparations, but with every passing day I realized it probably didn't come off bro-like enough or maybe I just messed with him a little too much. 

A week passed and I was quite sure he wouldn't call.

 

 

(Jungkook's tattoo)


	5. Chapter 5

**Jimin's pov**

 

"Are you ok?" Hoseok asked when I finally arrived at our van that would take us back to our house. 

 

"Yeah," I flashed a smile at him, not planning to lose a word about what happened between me and the photographer. I never voiced I was attracted to men, neither did I rant about girls either, though. I wondered what they thought about me. 

"What did he want?" RM asked with a hint of worry in his voice. 

We are like family, so after he ran into us, I wasn't surprised he was addressing it so quickly. 

I looked up at him as it to tell him it was none of his business, but the cute bunny smile right in front of my inner eye made it impossible to keep up the blank expression. I ended up as a giggling mess and felt my chubby cheeks burn. So, I just walked past them and crawled into the car, waiting for them to join me. They were looking at each other, Hoseok with raised brows and obviously confused, while RM had a sneaky grin on his features. 

For now we were quiet about it and RM didn’t push it which I appreciated. I was quick to fall asleep as soon as I sat down. I haven't been eating, yet and was drained from the hours of shooting. 

  
  


"Wake up" Hoseok softly said and shook my shoulder. Confused, I blinked a few times, rubbed my eyes and sat up. The van had stopped in front of our house. Gathering myself together, I got up and out, following the other's inside. 

"Hi, Love." Namjoon stepped up to Seokjin who just finished putting the last bowl of side dishes on the table, and put his hand on his back. 

"How was your day?" Seokjin asked back and straightened up to give him a brief what I tend to call welcome-home-kiss. 

Seokjin was part of our team. His role was hard to describe, though. He somehow was our mother, our therapist, our mood maker, cook and Namjoon's secret lover for years. He's been scouted on the streets on the way to his university, but quickly decided he didn't want to become an idol. As he has always been an important part of the team, however, they offered him this job as a kind of home manager in case we would ever debut. I am thankful that we are still with him.

"Was good, i guess. We had a funny photographer on set. All pierced and inked. And he's crazy about our Jiminie.”

I heard them perfectly, they must have known it. I kicked off my shoes in the entrance and walked past them to my room to change into comfortable clothes, washed my hands and joined them in the living room. 

"Yeah I think Jimin might like him, too. It's about time he finds someone!" RM kept talking as if I wasn't here, but I was watching them through squinted eyes until they widened at his last comment. 

"Thought we don't see the way you're looking at us?" Jin smiled softly, making me drop my head shyly. 

What was happening today? I liked to think I had no idea what he was talking about, but of course I had, i just hated to realize that they noticed. They were so in love, it made me jealous. I was watching them exchanging little kisses and sweet nothings just to realize that I was as single as someone could be. Worse than being single was being lonely. Friends, of which I didn't have many thanks to my full schedule, couldn't replace what a lover could give, not that I had any experiences with that either, so far. Nothing I would want to admit, I was embarrassed. 

But the simple thought that Namjoon had someone to come home to nearly every day, someone who he can fall asleep to every night and wake up to every morning was both, making me happy for him and sad at the realization that this was what I was craving myself. 

I once again decided to not lose a word about that either and they again didn’t push it.

 

After having dinner with what I call my second family, I hid in my bed, curled up in blankets and my favorite oversized sweater and continued reading my book where I stopped last night. 

It's a few pages later when my tummy starts rumbling to complain about giving it so much food all at once when I haven't been eating all day, that I lie down to stretch my legs out, hoping that if I would lie down straight, I could unravel the knot in it. I tried to calm the bad feeling I had for eating by telling myself that I haven’t been eating that much and that it was the only meal that day. I wouldn’t gain weight from it.

 

My eyes eventually fell shut, as I allow my mind to drift off, letting the day recall in my head in attempt to distract myself from the pain. My thoughts go straight back to that guy's charming smile that was right in front of me whenever I closed my eyes. Was he my type? I wasn't sure. I was always attracted to taller, somewhat bad-boy-looking-type-of-guys. I loved the contrast of his seemingly dark appearance and his cheerful and polite, even if walking into me undressing was inappropriate, character. Should I call him? And if, what shall I say? Giving myself a headache about questions like that, I fell asleep at some point.

  
  



	6. Chapter 6

** Jungkook's pov **

 

"I told you not to smoke here, it’s bad enough you smoke at all!” I groaned, rolling my eyes at Yoongi who was unimpressed about my complaints. 

"I told you not to stare at your phone all the time"  He counters sassily .

I heard him taking his black gloves off and looked at him when he plopped down at the chair in front of me. 

 

"You done?" I just asked him, giving him the satisfaction of his comment making me shut up, a brow quirked at him slowly exhaling the smoke. But I still couldn’t are the toxic smoke that spread through the room. As if it would kill me, I jumped up to the window to widely open it, even though it was freezing cold outside. Freezing was still better than suffocating. Maybe I should sue Min Yoongi for his terrible habit. 

"Yeah and my back fucked for life," Yoongi groaned, cracking his neck and circling his shoulders.

 

"How long was it?" I asked, leaned back and crossed my arms in front of my chest. Of course I couldn’t miss the opportunity to glance at my phone and tap the home button just to see that no notification was from Mr. Fluff. It's been 9 days now. I said I was losing hope, but I lied. Even if I grew insecure, I still liked to believe he would call sooner or later. Judging from the way Jimin smiled at me shortly before he left, I refused to believe he was only being polite. He seemed happier than in the beginning and what's wrong with hanging out with me? It's not like I told him I knew every song by heart, watched every existing Jimin focus on Youtube and run a Jimin fan account on instagram, Not that I do - totally not. So he was unlikely aware of me being weak for him, was he? Well, maybe drawing a heart next to my number wasn't the most heterosexual thing...

 

"Nearly five hours, finished the arm finally. He was a pussy tho, so much whining, worse than last time. I'll never get it. You wanna get your whole arm inked but keep complaining that it hurts? Well surprise bitch, ramming a tiny needle in your skin on high speed does not feel like feathers tickling your feet"

I ignored Yoongi's monologue about his client and got up, sighing. 

 

"Damn, kid. Why can't you fall for someone you actually have a chance of being with? He's an idol after all, sorry to remind you of that." Yoongi seemed to have noticed my lack of interest in his story and joined me in sighing. 

I turned around to face him, my eyes just watching him move. He took a last drag, got up, exhaled the smoke out of the window and closed it, after throwing what was left out of the cigarette out of the window. The minion next to me took his cap with three rings in the peak of it off and ran his fingers through his black hair, then put it back on.

"Well.. it's not like I am some kind of fanboy or stalker only admiring him from afar." I protested, knowing well that this was far from the truth. 

And I got my answer quickly. Yoongi laughed, even throwing his head back, showing off his gummy smile. "Come on, Jeon Jungkook. You've met him once now. It's not like you've not been all over this boy before that day, y'know? So don't fool yourself," Yoongi shook his head and then left the room. 

 

I thought he just left to take a break outside or went to the bathroom, so I quickly got lost in thoughts again. Was I really  _ that _ bad? But I was quickly interrupted by my annoying best friend who shoved my leather jacket against my chest.

 

"Come on, kid. Let's get this boy off your head and get distracted!" It wasn't an invitation, it was more like a command.

"Yes, Hyung," I obeyed. Maybe he wasn't that wrong after all. I looked down at the butterfly tattoo on his hand and took my jacket, putting it on on the way, while I let Yoongi lock up the apartment, as Jiho hasn’t been working that day. 

 

For a few hours, Jimin let go of my mind and I was able to have fun. It might have been due to one or two drinks too much, but it was worth it. Even if I knew I would question my life choices the next morning, waking up with a bad hangover, the two of us had a good night.

  
  
  


(Yoongi's tattoos)


	7. Chapter 7

** Jimin's pov **

 

"Where is it, where is it, where?" I mumbled as I paced through the house, not aware I was actually speaking aloud. The longer I had to look, the louder and angrier I got. I threw things around, bursting out my room, just to see Seokjin hanging out the laundry. I froze in motion and so did he.

 

"What's the matter?" He asked in confusion, only slowly moving to put my black jeans into place. 

 

"You didn't just wash them, right?" I asked. What an useless question though. How much proof did I need? Who hangs out dirty clothes?

 

"Of course I do, you always forget to put your dirty clothes in the laundry. So shall I wait for you to clean up once a month? By then you run out of clothes in your closet" Jin complained. He wasn't even angry, but his voice was getting louder and he was speaking so fast I thought he’d get a knot in his tongue, his head red and the veins popping out on his neck, not to forget the wild gesticulation. Like every time he was overreacting, because even if I’d only clean my room once every three months, I’d still have enough clothes.

 

"So cute.." I heard Namjoon whisper under his breath, as he walks up as to his boyfriend to kiss his cheek. Them being so domestic was the main reason I referred to them as husbands, even if they weren’t married for obvious reasons.

 

I quietly walked up to him and took the jeans from his hands, my hand going straight into the pocket with my last hope of finding what I was searching for half of the day. But what I pulled out was nothing more than some crumbles of ripped paper and even when I tried to unfold it, the ink seemed to have washed off. "It's gone." I sigh in disappointment and plopped down on the floor. 

 

"What is?" the Kim husbands asked at the same time. They seemed to be sharing their brain at times.

 

"His number.." I whispered, my head dropping until my chin almost reached my chest. 

 

"So, he gave you his number?" Namjoon asked. 

I have never given him a satisfying answer when he asked me what Jungkook wanted from me, so I was almost impressed he knew what I was talking about. Almost, he was Kim Namjoon, the smartest person I will ever encounter, after all.

I just nodded. It seemed so hopeless to me. I finally made up my mind that calling him and meeting up with him somewhere wouldn't do any harm, he seemed nice after all. 

With getting famous I started to be really paranoid about everything. What if he was playing games? What if I would end up making out with him, admitting I was gay, maybe even do more than that and he'd record the meeting, take pictures or even film it? And even though I’ve never made negative experiences like that, my head constantly came up with worst case scenarios that force me to step back - better safe than sorry. 

The fact alone of him was working at the set with us proved he was trustworthy to a certain degree. Yes, he acted creepy following me to the dressing room. But he did not take pictures or anything back then, he only wanted to tease me. And he made me smile. He actually caused a positive response off the emotionless ass I've turned into whenever I was not with our fans, but now...

It took me forever, 19 days to be precise, to even make a decision and now this. No chance of calling him. 

  
  


"Oh, so the photographer?" Jin jumped back in. "Do you need his number? No problem, I can ask tomorrow and get it for you. You know that you can ask me for help anytime, Jimin.." He said, almost disappointed. 

Why haven’t I thought about this sooner? My head shot up to him within a second and I jumped up to hug him as a silent thank you. 

Have I mentioned what a precious gem Kim Seokjin is? I would even miss his lame jokes if he wasn't with us.

 

(just to emphasize what a precious relationship the two are having)


	8. Chapter 8

** Seokjin's pov **

 

I went to university, currently doing my master's degree. I meant to go into business, help my dad with his company one day. And what am I doing? Playing the housewife. Was that bad? No. I actually love my job. I never even once regretted not joining the group or throwing the chance away by not even trying for long. Seeing them now, I am incredibly proud, but also aware of the fact I would not fit in.

Needless to say my father was disappointed. Even if I haven’t graduated, yet, he would have wanted me to work in his company instead. He had never been fond of the idea of his son becoming an idol. Whether it was because he saw no potential in me or that he despised them for their job, I have never asked, afraid the answer might hurt.

I'm smart and capable of doing a lot, but this is what made me happy, at least for the moment. It was hard making him understand and four years in, I still doubt he did, as he kept bringing it up almost each time we met.

I hated to justify my decision, so I gave up at some point. I used my job as an excuse and skipped most family meetings, saying I would be too busy. Sometimes Namjoon would take me with him, sometimes I’d just stay at our place and enjoy taking some time just for myself.

None of the members knew of those silly worries. What was I to expect? It’s not as if we were living in a very open-minded society anyways, eldest sons like me still had their duties in families. Oh imagine the struggle of my family finding out about me being as gay as someone could possibly be.

For the most days I successfully shoved those worries to the very back of my head where they belonged, hidden from everyone, even my long term boyfriend. I was well aware of the position I held, the one of being the mood-maker. It was in my nature and easy on good days and I mostly had good days. But on bad days it was incredibly hard. I kept up with it though, I wasn’t someone who would want others to worry. Only sometimes I would annoy them with too many jokes or would joke about things that shouldn’t be joked about, but I was only human, too and sometimes I was wondering whether they were aware of that side of me. How could they? I’ve never voiced it, never complained, never asked for a shoulder to lean on.

I was too emerged in my role as a mother with the exception that the boys were far too old to be my kids in the first place. But I still felt like one. I cooked nearly every day for them, did their laundry, cleaned the house, sometimes play their chauffeur. I’ve never complained, because it would rarely ever feel like a burden. I loved it. They were my family. I got to live with them, I ate with them, we supported each other. And I was grateful for this.

 

___

 

"Breakfast" I whispered, carefully placing the Ryan plush that must have fallen out of his embrace aside and put the tray down.

Namjoon opened his eyes slowly, groaned as he stretched and lazily sat up with his messy hair sticking in every possible direction. Maybe it was the tossing and turning at night, but I liked to believe it was the last night’s pleasure to blame and my hands that couldn’t stop groping his hair. I smiled at the memory of that.

I carefully sat down on the edge of the bed, combing my fingers through his hair and once they were at the sides of his face, somewhat close to being presentable, pulled him in to kiss his forehead. I wasn't a big fan of making out in the mornings without our both's teeth brushed, to be honest and he knew and respected that. We would cuddle instead, but the sad truth was that we were used to his tight schedule that barely allowed us the luxury to dwell in bed for too long anyways.

 

"I am going to the office and get Jimin that number, make a few errands and then be back later, ok? You've got time until 9, then it's dance lesson" I informed him.

"Gosh.. how late is it?" He grumbled, rubbing his eyes.

"7:42 am," I replied. I knew he is slow, didn’t like to rush things and needed to time to sort himself in the mornings. So I prefer giving him a little more time over letting him sleep longer. "There is more food in the kitchen for you, Hoseok and Jimin. Make sure that boy doesn't skip it, ok?" I said as if he was our son, then kissed his cheek again and got up. I left after handing him the big cup of coffee.

  


After a twenty minutes car ride I arrived at my destination. And before I would forget, I made sure to ask for the essentials - Jungkook's number. I had a few other things to take care of, before calling him. I couldn’t help it, I was curious. And sneaky. But most of all - protective. I wanted to speak to the one who could end up with our Jimin and he only had one chance to leave a good first impression. I might be a dick head there, but I would come up with a lame excuse of not being able to reach out for him in case he turns out to be an asshole during the call. No risk of a prick hurting this little fragile boy I was very parental about.

I made sure to be cautious when I looked for the number and once I typed it in my phone, I went to an empty conference room. My presence alone wouldn’t make anyone suspicious, even if I was known to tag along with the band or be at home, being more of a maid than a manager to the company, but it would have been hard to come up with a good excuse while I was rummaging the folders for the photographer’s number.

  


"Hello?"

It didn't even ring twice before this guy picked up. And judging from the sound of his voice, out of breath and shaky, he must have really anticipated that call.

"This is Kim Seokjin, part of BigHit Entertainment" I introduced myself.

"Oh.. uhm.. yes?" He sounded disappointed, as if he was expecting someone else. It was cute, somehow. I heard him exhaling, he must have held his breath in tension and I was almost feeling sorry for that poor boy that I wasn’t who he wanted. I wasn’t Park Jimin.

 

So what exactly was I thinking when I decided to call him? I probably should have made a plan. I could tell him a dad joke! No, that was a bad idea, I needed to sound professional, even if I will end up talking bullshit.

"We were very satisfied with the outcome of the last photoshooting. It seems like the pictures of Park Jimin are especially well taken" That was not very professional. It wasn’t as if I was one to judge, either. First, I had little knowledge or interest in photography, second, I haven’t even seen the pictures.

The poor boy didn't reply, I heard him gulping though. "Thank you, Mr. Kim. I enjoyed taking the pictures of all of them" He said, emphasizing the word ‘all’.

 

I liked the way he sounded. Polite and he wasn't really going further into the Jimin topic I offered which I found adorable. If his plan was to fuck Jimin or use him for his fame, he would have been bolder or…. he was just a good actor. I didn’t like the taste of that. Jungkook didn’t sound like that to me. He acted like a young man who’d meet the mother of his boyfriend for the first time or so I liked to believe. Which was close to the truth only that Jimin wasn’t his boyfriend yet and I technically wasn’t a woman.  

 

"So, are you a full time photographer? Would you be free this evening? We would have a special location in mind." I offered. Truth was, I was trying to get him and Jimin have a date, an idea my genius self just came up with in the process. Maybe Namjoon’s sexy brain was finally rubbing off on me. In all honesty, I didn't want Jimin to back off, knowing it would take the boy many more days to even make the step of calling him back, even if he finally had the number. I was overstepping my boundaries, but I couldn’t help it.

 

"I- uh, no, sir. I am a full time tattoo artist, but I occasionally work as a photographer for.. well special occasions, I guess," He said. I heard things dropping and papers turning. It sounded as if he was pacing through his place. "I am free this evening, yes, Mr. Kim," He said.

"Great, I will pick you up by 6pm, get your equipment ready, I will drive you to the location. Text me your address after the call" I said and hung up.

 

I was proud of myself, my swelling chest showing it. That was until I told Namjoon about it who talked me into some kind of regret, telling me to not interfere with Jimin's business. Maybe I was taking it too far and he was right, but I was still sure Jimin would be thankful. At least I hoped he wouldn't kill me.

 

I didn’t let Namjoon convince me to cancel their blind date, even if it would end in us fighting,  made sure Jimin would be alone, but we would still be in reach. Hoseok was out that day with a few friends, so there was no need to even tell him and Namjoon went downstairs to his studio in time where I would later join him. I was positive I could get rid of his doubts my plan caused by distracting him with things that had little to do with music, more with our bodies.

 

When the clock struck 5:30, I left to go and pick up this poor boy who must have stressed about packing all his equipment. And when I saw him with his bags, I felt a little bad. It was easy to tell I was parking in front of the right person. He was tall, dressed in a ripped tight jeans which's holes exposed a part of his well trained thighs, a white shirt that somehow looked a little ripped apart as well and a leather jacket, he completed his killer look with black boots that weren't even completely tied up and a black cap with something that looked like piercings in the peak of it. That and his black hair was covering half of his face, topped with a black mask over his nose and mouth, there was nothing left of what could be seen. I was silently wondering why people paid so much money for ripped clothes. Namjoon would smack my butt if he'd known how long I've mustered the guy before stepping out to help him. Jealous, my man.

 

"Jeon Jungkook?" I asked. Not that there was the need to make sure, he surely was standing out.

"Mr. Kim? Hi!"

He looked at me through those mysterious eyes. There was even makeup around his eyes and he was wearing blue lenses. This guy looked like a hitman, but I wasn't afraid, he didn't seem intimidating. I helped him put the things in the trunk and gesture for him to sit down. Once he's seated, I drive back to the place.

 

"Sorry, but the place we are going to is confidential" I said and handed him a sleeping mask to put on. Luckily I've found a black one Namjoon bought on the airplane when he forgot his Ryan mask at home. As I was keeping my eyes on the streets, I didn't bother looking at him, but I still felt his confusion. Without questions, he took off his mask, put the sleeping mask on and put his cap back on. I couldn't risk him knowing where we were going.

 

Our way home was interrupted by us stopping by in a drive in to get food for Jimin, Jungkook, Namjoon and me. I came up with the lame excuse that there was not enough food on the set, but he seemed to not believe me, didn't ask questions, though. He seemed to be a well mannered young man, I liked that.

  


"We arrived," I said as I pull the SUV into the parking lot and turn the engine off. I will bring you inside, you can get your stuff later." I told him and waited for him to get outside with me. I unlocked the door and let him inside. I was quick to kick my shoes off and was followed by him doing the same, just in a more careful way, he even put his boots aside neatly. Only now, after hanging my  coat at the wardrobe, I noticed how thin the layers of clothes were Jungkook was wearing. It was winter, a shirt, leather jacket and ripped jeans didn’t quite fit the season. I wondered whether he had forgotten his coat or whether he wanted to stand out in his simple but perfect outfit that he risked catching one of the worst colds the winter had to offer.

 

"Just wait a second, ok? You can sit down there" I said and pointed at the couch. Nodding, Jungkook sat down, his eyes as big, I was worried they might plop off his head if I gave him a little slap on the back of it.

And so I left to get Jimin.

 

(the closest I could get to the outfit. Imagine the jeans more ripped, the cap and something like Marten's instead :3 )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> who's excited for their meeting?????
> 
> also editing this chapter, I wondered if I should add more chapters of jin in progress or just give him his own fanfic, hehe


	9. Chapter 9

** Jungkook's pov **

 

I. Was. In. Panic. When the phone rang, I almost choked on my water. It's been 20 days plus and I finally received a call from an unknown number. As I heard the name Kim Seokjin, I was disappointed. Yeah, pathetic, I know, I was still hoping Jimin would call me.

I was hesitating at the offer of a shooting on a special location. It meant I got to see Jimin, but it also meant I had to face him, understanding he wasn't interested in meeting me. This guy who called me had my number, so if Jimin would have wanted to, he could have found a way to call me. The realization I was keeping my hopes up for nothing made me choke on my aching chest. But hey, at least I’ll get to see him, maybe talk to him again. If not, well, I'd still get to see him and his angelic smile. 

 

After I accepted the offer, I had to cancel the two remaining appointments I had that evening. Yes, I lied, I wasn't free, but I’d be a complete idiot to let that chance slip.

 

I hurried home, packed up my things, took a shower, hell even shaved and redid my makeup. Sad, isn't it? I was making sure to look as smooth as I can look for someone who had proven to be not interested. He probably wasn't even gay. Maybe he even had a girlfriend. I was being a fool. The more I thought about it, the more insecure I grew when it was about meeting Jimin. 

 

___

 

Ready in an outfit I felt comfortable in, I was waiting in front of my apartment complex, until a dark SUV parked in front of me. The guy was handsome, I admired his wide shoulders. After a small talk, I was seated in the passenger's seat. It all got stranger when I was asked to cover my eyes, but hey,  I was going to see Jimin, so I did as he requested. 

The longer the ride was, the worse the feeling in my stomach got. What if he was a creep? Well, no. Unlikely. But it all seemed fake and I really wondered what all this was about. 

 

When I exited the car, I looked up to a fairly big house. People owning this property must have a shitload of money. Only super rich people could afford to buy a house and even they rather settled in top floors of luxurious skyscrapers or so I thought. We obviously were in the high society part of Seoul. It was nice, but I wasn't jealous. I was quite sure I couldn't live in such a place. Far too much space to mess up, meaning more to clean. But the owner might have maids for that.

My stream of thoughts was ripped off when Mr. Kim told me to follow him inside. I stepped out of my boots and neatly put them aside, before eyeing the inside. I was expecting something else. It didn't look like a photoshoot location. There weren't people, it all looked too...domestic. 

 

When I was asked to sit down, I was afraid I might die of a heart attack. It was literally racing to the point where calm breathing didn't help slowing it down, either. Was this a joke or was it Mr. Kim's house because he wanted to talk me into working for the group more often or what was this about?

 

"Can you please go to the living room?" I hear him saying. Then I heard steps walking away and steps coming closer. 

 

Who would it be?


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they are finally meeting each other :3   
> thanks for those who left kudos and comments.

When Seokjin asked Jimin to go to the living room, he didn't question it. As much of a mom as Seokjin has always been to him, Jimin was almost sure it was about food. He thought he could maybe snack a bit. His body was complaining again, close to giving up. It was past 6pm by now and the boy barely made it through the five hours dancing in the morning. A shower and a nap was what made him regain some energy. 

Dressed in a grey oversized sweater and a black loose sweatpants along with fluffy socks in pink, Jimin felt comfortable. He was home, there was no need to dress up. This poor boy had no idea who was waiting for him in the living room.

When he walked towards the said room, his small feet covered in the soft wool barely made a sound. But he stopped abruptly when he saw the man his thoughts wandered around for the past weeks right in front of him. He felt his breath getting stuck in his throat that got so tight, he thought there was an invisible hand squeezing the air out of it. His mouth was dry and his cheeks heated up, but at the same time it felt like all his blood was leaving his head, as if he would faint any given second.   
With the first shock gone, Jimin was releasing that breath slowly and shakily. He was still looking at Jungkook and the man sat there, looking like a statue. He wasn’t moving an inch, even his eyes were blinking less than they should. It was obvious that he was quite clueless as well. 

"Jimin-sshi!" Jungkook called out in surprise, his jaw dropped. Of course Jungkook had expected to see him, that's why he had come there. But he didn't think of it to be so.. unofficial. Even though the surprise was evident in his features, the older didn’t look too far from his usual self. His big eyes were not much bigger than usual and he was quick to close that mouth that had fallen open. The breakout of sweat on his hands, forehead and back was the real proof for how nervous he was, but Jimin remained oblivious to it. 

The pieces of the puzzle slowly gathered together, Jungkook finally understood what this was about. Mr. Kim must have set this up and it was nothing but the house Jimin was living in. Of course he made a fuss about Jungkook not being able to remember the way later.   
It could have been his fanboy self that dared to freak out about this now obvious fact, but it wasn’t. What really made him nervous was that Seokjin was involved in all this. The wheels in Jungkook’s head were turning fast enough, he thought there must be smoke leaking from his ears by now.   
Only a few hours ago the fact that Seokjin had called him and Jimin had not made his chest clench in pain. But recalling the day of the shooting, he was a hundred percent sure he had not seen the male on the set. He wasn’t blind to how beautiful he was and there was no way he could have missed a man so tall with shoulders so wide and lips so plump. He wasn’t Jungkook’s type, but then again Jungkook didn’t even know what his type was. But Seokjin had known about Jungkook which could only mean that Jimin had told him about him, right? Jungkook came to the realization Jimin must have had some kind of interest in him, otherwise he wouldn’t be sitting on his couch and that filled him with joy, so much, he had a hard time to conceal his smile. 

 

"What are you doing here?" Jimin asked, once he managed to regain enough control over his body to speak, even if it was with a small voice. He was seemingly shrinking, as he was suddenly embarrassed about how casual he looked. 

Jimin’s voice clearly pulled Jungkook out of his thoughts and he was fast to answer.

"Mr. Kim called me for a special photo shooting.." Jungkook tried to explain himself. Recalling the phone call, it all made sense now. The way Seokjin had emphasized that the pictures of Jimin were especially well taken. He was playing with Jungkook and this time he couldn’t help but to break into a little smile, his head low as he shook his head in disbelief about his own naivety. 

"Seokjin-Hyung?" Jimin asked in surprise. He couldn’t believe his ears. Was this his way of helping him? Bringing his crush into his house and lure him to the living room that unprepared and ugly-looking?

Jungkook nodded.

Jimin was about to turn on his heels and run to find this hyung to yell at him and scold him for doing this, for getting him in a situation where he felt helpless and lost. Or maybe he just wanted to hug him and thank him for bringing Jungkook here, he wasn't sure.  
Sighing, the smaller male's hands trembled slightly. What was he supposed to do now? Why was he even so nervous in the first place? He had wanted to meet Jungkook again, that was out of question. It was just too sudden.

"Excuse me for a minute, please," Jimin mumbled and without looking at Jungkook, he left.

"Sure..," Jungkook whispered, although Jimin wouldn't even hear him anymore. Once Jimin was out of side, the male got up to grab a few of the tissues from the table to wipe off the sweat from his hands and forehead. The house was quiet, so he quickly pulled his shirt off his pants and wiped as much of the sweat from his back as possible off as well, before neatly sticking the shirt back into his pants. After disposing the damp tissues, he sat back as if he had never moved in the first place, but his posture changed, as the tension left his upper body. He supported with his hands on his knees, his shoulders sanken to the front, as one hand rubbed over his chest where his heart was in a desperate attempt to stop it from racing so much. He inhaled deeply, held his breath for a moment, puffed his cheeks and only slowly let the air leave his lungs.


	11. Chapter 11

** Jimin's pov **

 

I felt my body shaking and I couldn’t even tell why. Was I scared or nervous? I felt like breaking. I wanted to talk to Seokjin-hyung, ask him what he thought he was doing and what I was supposed to do now, but I couldn’t. I would have had to go back outside to even go and look for him and I didn’t even know where he was at the moment. It somehow didn’t feel right to me, either. I remembered how they wanted me to finally find someone, if I would go there and complain, I would only disappoint them. Seokjin-hyung did it for me after all. He didn’t mean any harm.

I decided to grab my phone instead, go to recents and call my best friend. I needed someone to speak some sense back into me and maybe I needed it to be him with his painfully honest words and not Seokjin-hyung with his loving and carefully chosen ones. 

 

"Chimchim!" He picked up the phone after two or three beeps.

 

"Taetae," I sighed. How was I supposed to start?

 

"What's wrong, little one? Do I need to come and punch someone?" He tried to joke, but I heard the worry.

 

"The guy I told you about, right? Jungkook, the photographer?" I wanted to make sure this forgetful man knew who I was talking about.

 

"Yeah, the hottie who wanted to see you naked!" Taehyung snickered. I could hear the smirk in his words.

 

"He's sitting on my couch and I don't know what to do."

 

"Holy shit, what? Where does he come from, did you finally call him?!" My god, he sounded so excited.

 

"I asked Hyung to get me his number, Seokjin I mean. I asked him to get me his number, not his ass on our sofa, do you get what I mean?"

 

Taehyung laughed, while I felt like crying. I didn’t though, I only let out a little whine, while I plopped down on my bed.

"This dude is amazing. I would have done the same. But why are you talking to me when the hottie is in your house?"

 

"I don't know what to do, Taetae.. I don't even know where to sit, what to talk about. I am wearing an oversized sweater, sweatpants and pink socks. My hair looks as if a cushion exploded!" I kept complaining. “And stop calling him hottie! You haven’t even seen him!”

 

Taehyung just sighed. I bet he was rolling his eyes. 

"Chimchim.. please, will you stop being so hard on yourself? You are one of the prettiest men I've ever seen. You're gorgeous, you're lovely, you're talented. You're a great dancer and a great singer and you'll be able to start a normal conversation with this guy, won't you?" Taehyung sighed once more. 

 

"Says the one who never wanted me, though..." I bit my lip when I realized how much bitterness just slipped my mouth. 

 

“....”

 

The silence between us was thick. 

 

“Jimin, li-” He started.

 

“I am sorry. I-I meant to say thank you.” I cut him off, no I was not going to listen to whatever he had to say. 

 

I had a hard time taking compliments in without getting flustered and uncomfortable. The sad truth was that I couldn’t get myself to see what they saw in me. I would never blame my mother for raising me to always be the best, to live in competition, it was what helped me achieve what I have achieved until now. I cannot remember when I started losing control over it. There was always someone who was better at dancing, better at singing, better looking, thinner or prettier. It was hard to not bark back at people who complimented me and tell them how many things were wrong about me. I learned that most people accept gratitude to follow after compliments, so I acted upon it.

 

I never meant to make Taehyung feel bad about rejecting me a while ago. But I would lie if I said it didn’t affect me and the way I saw myself. And with the many compliments he just spit, I couldn’t hold myself from voicing what I have lost sleep about too often. If I really was as good as he told me, why couldn’t he love me? The only answer I could come up with was: I wasn’t as good as he said I was. 

  
  
  


"I.. don't know why I'm so nervous," I admitted. I didn’t want to dwell in the past. It was nothing but a little crush on my best friend that didn’t matter anymore, but the longer I would think about it, the sadder I would become. It was certainly not the time to drown in that spiral downwards right now, not with Jungkook sitting outside.

But thinking more about it, I thought to know the truth. Jungkook was the first male that I really felt attracted to, besides Taehyung, but that was something else, or so I liked to believe. And something in the way he treated me told me that he might like me in one way or the other. But the more I pondered about it, the more my anxieties butted in. It's not like he knew me, right? All he sees is the 'flawless' me I have to put on like a mask whenever I leave the house. So if he liked me, what did he like about me? What was there to like about me? And would he ever like the real Park Jimin, not the idol? The real Park Jimin was be a mess, no one would want a mess, right?

  
  
  


"Is he hot? I mean.. have you thought about you know? Doing things? Kissing and so on?"

By now I was so lost in my thoughts, I almost forgot that I was still phoning him and the sudden voice in my ear startled me slightly. 

However, this teasing tone and the smirk so big I saw it right in front of me made me want to run over to his house and punch him. It also made me happy. For once I liked that Taehyung’s attention span was the one of a fly. He quickly got over the accusation I made just a minute ago, so I couldn’t even be angry. 

"He's.. very attractive, yes." I replied shyly.

 

"It's about time you do things, Jiminie." Taehyung sighed and by now it was almost sounding as if I was a hopeless case. "There hasn't been anyone right? Anyone but me?" He asked carefully, maybe I was wrong about the attention span part. 

 

I felt a knot in my throat at the way his voice sounded. And it made me feel bad about it, about me and what I did or what I haven’t done. And what else could my mind do but putting me through reliving that night?

It was one of our movie nights with a sleep over. We had a good night, laughed, hugged each other and ate yummy food. It wasn't until late night when the laptop in front of us was the only source of light that placed a soft blue color on Taehyung's features that I took the chance to press my lips onto his. And it was only the next day when I figured out that this kiss and those followed only meant something to one of us - me. And ever since he had told me that friendship was all he wanted, I avoided talking about that night as if it never happened. Only that it did and it left questions and doubts inside me which I voiced for the first time today.

 

It seemed like my best friend took the lack of reply as a yes. 

"You should go back, have fun with him in whatever way, Jiminie." Taehyung's voice was soft and encouraging, but I thought to hear something negative in this as well. Not sure whether it was sadness or pity for what a lonely loser I was, it felt awkward. 

 

"I guess you're right." I sighed. Calling Taehyung was meant to be motivating, not bring up weird memories and remind myself of how I was not able to get closer to people I was actually interested in, so there was no point in keep going. Apart from that, the poor guy was waiting in the living room way too long by now. "See you" I added, before I ended the call.

 

I pushed my iPhone into my pocket and got up to go back to the door. Turning my head to look myself in the mirror, I played with the thought of changing into something less messy looking, but thought I would make a fool of myself when I now came back with other clothes. Instead, I ran my hands through my hair a couple of times, taking the bed-look out of them and letting them fall back smoothly. Grabbing the handle, I was about to go back.


	12. Chapter 12

Jungkook's pov

 

Here I was, left behind on the couch in the spacious living room, waiting for Jimin to come back. For Jimin. I still couldn't believe I was so close to him, in his home. Fuck. I couldn't help but growing anxious the longer it took him to come back. He hasn't called me in almost three weeks and now I suddenly showed up here, thanks to Mr. Kim, Seokjin. Maybe he didn't even want to see me and was going to hide in his room until I would leave on my own? 

I sighed, roughly pulling my head from side to side, sighing in relief when I heard the little crack, a sign some of my tension was gone.

It really was ridiculous what Jimin was doing to my body. I usually wasn’t even anxious. I wouldn’t say I was fearless, but it needed a lot to actually rise worry in me.

Now I found myself nervously rubbing my thumb over my knuckles, only then noticing the sheer layer of sweat on my palms that rebuilt itself and I quickly tried to get rid of it by drying them on the fabric over my thighs.

 

I was never very good at waiting, patience wasn't my friend either unless it was about inking people’s skin. I looked around, but didn't move. I tried to read the book titles across the room in the big shelf, without walking there. I've always been curious, but if Jimin would find me wandering around, it wouldn't put me into the best light. 

 

"No, come on, baby, don't!" 

 

I immediately froze in my moves at the voice. It sounded familiar, yet I couldn't tell who it was. 

 

"I just wanna make sure they're ok, just let me grab a coffee!" A darker voice mumbled back. 

 

Blinking in curiosity, I kept looking into the direction of the two voices, until I finally saw the faces, Mr. Kim and well, Mr. Kim Namjoon.

 

"Oh hey!" He greeted, acting as if he didn't know that I was here. Or maybe he was just surprised that Jimin wasn't. 

 

"Hello," I smiled at him. The two of us probably didn't start off too well. 

 

"Where's Jimin?" He asked, sounding as if he was scared or angered, it was hard to tell. I appreciated that this angel was surrounded by people who cared for him, but what did he think I have done to him?

 

"He left after he saw me.. said he needed a minute." That was ten minutes ago, I added in my head. My voice cracked while I was talking, although I tried to not show my worries. 

I lowered my gaze just for a second, but still noticed the way he looked at Seokjin. It seemed as if he blamed him for that.

 

Sighing, Seokjin turned away and rolled his eyes, before he walked down the hallway, probably back to where he came from or to Jimin's room, it was both the same direction. 

 

"I can leave if he doesn't want me here..," I offered. I really didn't mean to scare the younger. 

Sighing, RM opened the cupboard to get two cups out, before he turned to face me. 

 

"Want a coffee too?" 

 

I shook my head.

 

"How old are you?" He asked.

 

Has he even heard me? "24." I replied.

 

"Makes you two years older," He thought out loud and nodded. 

 

Well, what a genius he was.

 

"Look, I wasn't fond of the idea of this whole thing. It's not that I am judging you, though. I honestly didn't like the way you approached Jimin or whatever you were doing. But Jimin was half naked when I got in, although he probably would have told me if you did any harm to him. It leaves a bitter taste, though and I didn't quite like my husband's idea of setting this whole thing up."

 

I tried to listen attentively, I was trying to make a good impression here, my thoughts kept drifting off to worry about why Jimin wouldn’t come back. One thing that caught my attention, though, was this word he used - husband. 

 

"Husband?" I questioned, staring at him.

 

RM laughed, a bit embarrassed as if it slipped his lips. "We are not married, sorry. It's kind of weird to have you here at our home, I'm used to call him husband. I guess I don't need to tell you that it remains a secret and won't leave this house, aight?" He asked, looking at me, his eyes boring into me.

But it's Jeon Jungkook he's talking to. Ain't someone to intimidate so easily. 

 

"Sure" I just nodded my head. They really seemed to worry I had nothing better to do than writing a blog entry like "My visit to their house: RM is dating a guy, calling him husband". I couldn't blame him, success must have made them paranoid. I was happy they didn’t know about my fan account. I could be taking pictures here and post them to my blog, but who on earth would do that. I was a fan, a human with common sense, I respected their privacy. 

 

"Anyways. You seem to have a thing for our Jimin which is good. It's about time he gets a boyfriend, treat him well or I'm coming for you!" He glared at me, but his expression soon changed into a cheerful laugh.

 

I just nodded, a bit unsure how to handle the information he so willingly gave me. If I wouldn't have known better, I would have said he's quite insensitive about what he's sharing with me, after continuously reminding me how confidential everything was, but I knew he was smart. That lead me to the conclusion that he first wanted me to know that he was dating Seokjin, for whatever reason. Maybe just to tell me he was into men, maybe to tell me that there wasn't more to brotherly love that connected him and Jimin. Second, Jimin was into men and apparently wanting a relationship. All those things were good news to me, but as RM already seemed to be in a chatty mood and their coffee not prepared yet, I decided to try and get some more information out of him.

 

"I thought he didn't want to see me, though. It's been three weeks or so," No need to tell him I was counting the days, I didn’t want to seem that desperate.

 

RM laughed, which surprised me and I raised a brow in confusion while I waited for him to explain his reaction. 

 

"I don't want to tell too much, you will get to know the real Jimin with time, I guess. Let me just tell you this much, he worries a lot. And for the not calling part... well... Jin washed his jeans the other day, your number was gone and Jimin nearly freaked out, because he wanted to call you badly.." RM smirked to himself. 

Oh he was damn aware of what a chatterbox he was, but I couldn't complain. It made my heart skip a beat, a warm feeling spreading through my chest, as I re-gathered some confidence. If only Jimin would make it outside of his room, that is.

 

"No need to worry about Jimin. I will treat him well, whatever relationship we will end in!" I reassured him and he seemed satisfied with that reply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> editing the first chapters was a catastrophe, but it's getting better now. the chapters are kind of short mostly, but I guess it's clearer to change povs with chapters and not switch back and forth within one.


	13. Chapter 13

** Jimin's pov **

 

I was just about to leave my room, when the door opened and almost hit my face. I tumbled backwards, stumbled and almost landed on my butt, if Seokjin wouldn't have caught me.

 

"Ay there, careful!" He laughed and let go of me, before closing the door.

 

"Why are you inside here, Jimin? Jungkook is waiting for you," He asked. His voice was soft, not scolding at all, but I still felt bad for the simple fact that I was making him wait. 

 

"I.. was too overwhelmed..," I admitted, my eyes avoiding to meet his in embarrassment.

 

"Why, though?" 

 

"Because I wasn't prepared, hyung. I asked you to get his number, not his butt on our couch," I complained, pursing my lips into a pout. "I don't feel pretty either, look at what I'm wearing.."

 

Sighing, Seokjin took my hands in his big ones and nudged my head with his own until I would look at him.

 

"Jimin.. I called him and he was very nice, so he passed my first test. I'm not fond of all these piercings, but if you like that, fine."

 

"Have you seen his tattoo?" I asked excitedly, thinking back about that piece of inked skin I had spotted on his neck last time I saw him, biting my bottom lip. Oh how badly I wanted to touch it. 

 

"Oh, look at those sparkling eyes!" He laughed which resulted in my cheeks changing into tomatoes. 

 

"I just meant he seems to be a good guy. And this is your private life, show him the real you. If the chemistry is not right, kick him out. But he likes you and you're interested in him too, so try it! You're just right the way you are or were you planning to dress up and get your makeup done, huh?"

 

I laughed, shaking my head. "At least I shaved this morning" I chuckled.

 

"Now go and enjoy the evening!" Seokjin pulled me with him and didn't leave me any other choice than leaving my room. 

 

And there I was, back in the sight of Jungkook. I smiled shyly, Seokjin winking at me, then turning to face the living room.

 

"Is the coffee ready?" He asked, making me frown. Who was he talking to?

 

"Coming!" I heard Namjoon's voice and before I could even start walking or say anything, he walked by quickly with two steaming cups of coffee and smiled at me as well, before the two left, probably to his studio downstairs. Why was everyone encouraging me?

  
  
  


"Are you alright? I can leave if you don't feel well," Jungkook suddenly spoke and I thought to hear worry in his voice. 

 

Walking towards him, I one last time stroke though my hair and chuckled nervously, shaking my head. "It's fine, sorry. I am here now!" I nodded and there I was, standing a meter away from him and didn't know what to do. 

 

Jungkook got up, my eyes followed him, only to then look up at him, as the height difference increased. "Mr. Kim and I went to get food for the set.. I guess it was supposed to be our dinner." He scratched his head, laughing softly. "Are you hungry?"

 

I shook my head as that was my automatic reply whenever someone offered food. I had to maintain my body, the less food the better. But my body betrayed me and my tummy growled loudly. Covering it as if I could quieten it down, I had to correct my answer. "I could maybe eat a bite or two."

Jungkook laughed and looked down at my belly as well. 

 

When I looked up at him, I looked right into his eyes. Although he was wearing lenses, I could still see that they were sparkling, full of life, they were beautiful, he was beautiful. 

 

"Let's eat then, Jimin-sshi!" He said, his head nodding in the direction where the food must be. 

Snapping back from my trance, I just nodded and smiled softly. I must have looked stupid, staring at him like that.  _ Pull yourself together, Jimin.   _

 

Sniffing as the scent hit my nose, I could clearly smell friend crispy chicken. I took out plates, glasses and drinks for us and then, with Jungkook's help, carried it all over to the couch table, before I sat down with crossed legs, grabbing my plate.

 

 

(have a cozy looking shy Jimin)

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you already got a glimpse of Jimin's dark thoughts within the last chapters and although this is all fluffy and cute now, I wanna remind you of the tags and throw in a little spoiler that it will only get darker now.   
> also my we are on page 27/180 of my word document now and the story isn't even close to an end, I guess it will be 300 pages+


	14. Chapter 14

** Jungkook's pov **

  
  
  


How happy I was when Jimin entered the room. Along with that little smile, the room suddenly felt a lot warmer.

 

Sure it was a bit awkward, I could tell Jimin had his worries and I was hella nervous to stand right before the man I admired so much, I adored so much. Fanboy, keep it!

 

Once we sat on the couch, I looked at him.

 

"Mind if I wash my hands?" I asked, pointing at the sink.

 

"Go ahead!" Jimin shook his head and was about to grab a piece of chicken with his small chubby fingers I always wanted to touch (they just looked so soft, okay?), before something seemed to stop him.

 

I got up and then walked over to wash my hands, before I returned.

  


"How old are you, Jungkook-sshi?" He asked me in the cutest way, looking at me through his warm brown eyes.

  


"24." I replied. There was no need to ask him in return. I came to the pathetic conclusion I pretty much knew everything that has been officially shared about him.

 

I looked at him questioning and wondered where this random question came from, before I noticed him looking at his food like a good puppy waiting for his allowance to eat. Was he really waiting for me to start because I was the older? Well, that was adorable. Without losing a word about it, I reached over to my plate and started digging in. And as soon as the chicken was met by my teeth, I saw him starting as well. _Park Jimin, you will be the end of my heart, I can already feel it._

 

Smiling to myself, I kept eating slowly. Normally I didn't have the best eating manners. I ate messily with food smeared over my hands and sometimes even cheeks, but I was trying hard to impress Jimin.

 

Looking at him, I wasn't sure whether that was mutual. He was eating twice as fast, if that was enough. When I just swallowed my last bite, I looked at Jimin in disbelief when I saw the third small bone lying on his plate and his cheeks stuffed. Was he even swallowing in between?

 

"You must have been starving.." I commented, taking a tissue to clean the corners of my lip, as well as making sure there was nothing on the ring in my lip - it loved to collect food, especially sauces. Gross.

 

Jimin looked up at me, his eyes widen as if he just remembered he wasn't alone and he slowed down a lot, now chewing properly, before his hamster cheeks emptied bit by bit.

 

"No, it's fine, enjoy your food" Hell, I wasn't planning to make him feel uncomfortable, I was glad he felt safe enough to eat normally. It just didn't seem very normal, that was all. And I did wonder why he went from stating he wasn't hungry to eating as if it was the last meal this year.

 

An awkward silence built up between us that I tried to overcome, but what could I possibly say after fucking this up now? I remained quiet.

 

I would have surely finished all the food, but the tension made my stomach twist. After a few more fries and chicken legs I felt full enough and stopped eating. I already guessed that Jimin would stop as well, so I ate slowly, giving him enough time to eat without a hurry. As soon as I signalised I was done, he looked at my hands, then at me and stopped eating as well, although I was sure he would have continued eating, maybe even eaten mine, if he was more comfortable.

 

"You can go on eating if you're not full.." I tried to make sure, although it still worried me a little.

 

Jimin just shook his head and held his salty and oily palms up to not smear them anywhere. His lips looked so kissable and shiny. _Damn it, Jungkook._

  
  
  


"Shall we store this then?" I quickly offered and kept my eyes on him.

 

"Yes." Jimin just said and got up to which I followed.

 

Have I done something wrong again? He was acting weird all of a sudden.

 

"Are you alright?" I carefully asked, once the leftovers were stored in the fridge, the plates in the dishwasher and our hands clean.

 

"I'm not feeling too well, no.." He said and shook his head, but I felt like he was avoiding my gaze.

 

Without even being aware of it, my hand ended up on his back, as I bent down in attempt to look at his face. "What's wrong, Jimin-sshi?" I asked, clearly worried.

 

"My tummy hurts.." He said and I saw the pain in his pretty face.

 

At that moment I wondered whether there was something wrong with the food but we had the same and I was feeling totally fine - apart from my heart that still didn't exactly find back to it's usual pace. I was worried he was getting sick.

 

"I'll be right back, I'll splash some water in my face" He announced and left.

 

And even though I didn't mean to, I quietly followed once I watched him leaving and heard the door closing. I didn't want to go too close in case he was really just doing what he told me. I didn't want to be a creep either, but Jimin's wellbeing was my priority. I heard water running, but I also heard something else. Choking sounds, vomiting. I cringed at that. No one liked to hear the inside of someone coming out, but I was too worried about Jimin to care about that. After I heard the toilet flushing, I quickly left to go back to the living room and lean against the kitchen counter from where I couldn't see him, but had a view over the living area. I looked outside the window, my thoughts only revolving about what was going on with my angel. I didn't want him to suffer. And I noticed just how deep I already was down this road to hell. I could scold the fanboy in me as much as I wanted, it wasn’t my fanboy talking. I felt myself falling for him and I didn’t even want it to stop.

 

_____

  
  


"Ah.. sorry, I am back!" Jimin said and he was somehow embarrassed, but cheerful. 

 

"Are you feeling better?" I asked, offering a small smile.

 

"Yes, thank you!" He nodded and gave me a smile that made my hands hold onto the counter tighter in attempt to keep me on my feet.

 

"Do you want a coffee or tea or something?" He asked, walking closer to me. He seemed to be a lot less tensed now which was good.

 

"Coffee sounds about right!" I nodded, taking a step aside, as I figured I was blocking his path. 

 

"How do you like your coffee?" Jimin's sweet voice again dragged all my attention to him and his lips.

 

"Sweet.." I said, not sure whether I was replying or speaking my thoughts. 

 

"Vanilla Latte then?" He looked up at me and I just nodded. How can I possibly be so weak for this guy?!

 

 


	15. Chapter 15

** Jimin's pov **

  
  


_Act normal! What was normal? Just be yourself! Who am I?_

 

I was giving myself a hard time, but kept my smile whenever I looked at Jungkook. I really didn't want to fuck this up. I wanted to give him a chance, actually find friends. Real friends outside my job. People I knew wouldn't judge me. More people like Taehyung, but also someone whom I wasn't just a friend to. Was it too early to think of that? Definitely, I didn't know anything about Jungkook. But I liked the attention he gave me, I couldn't deny that.

 

_____

 

Once the coffee was done, I handed him his cup and took mine in both hands, walking back to the couch. I set mine on the table before it could burn my hands or, even worse, my throat and sat down, one leg up the fluffy couch, while I was leaning against the back with my side, facing him.

 

There was an awkward silence between us we both tried to overcome.

 

"So.." I started and saw Jungkook shooting his gaze up at me as if he was glad I finally said something.

 

 

God, he was so cute.

 

"Tell me more about yourself! I mean.. you do not usually work with us, right? At least I think I saw you for the first time." I quickly added and hoped it wasn't my fault for not paying attention again

 

"That's true. I’m a friend of Bambam, the fashion coordinator, he called me." Jungkook explained.

 

"But are you a photographer then?"

 

"It's more like a hobby, I'd say" He said, his finger wandering to his temple to scratch the skin a few times.

 

"Then, what is your occupation?" I asked and I felt myself easing around him. It became more natural, easier to talk to him and I felt some of my anxieties and nervousness fade.

 

"I'm a tattoo artist, actually" He said, nodding.

 

He looked proud, I liked it. "Can you make a living of that though?" It slipped my mouth. And that happened when I get comfortable, I got stupid. "I- I mean... tattoos aren't very popular in Korea, right? I just.. sorry. I didn't mean to offend you or anything" I quickly backed off, looking down in my lap where I nervously played with my fingers, hoping I didn't upset him.

 

"It's fine!" Jungkook laughed. "And yes, actually I'm doing quite good. I made a name in the scene, I run an instagram page to show my work so the people know what my work looks like before contacting me"

 

I nodded and hummed in thoughts. I was so fascinated by him and his life, I wanted to know everything.

  


"Can I see?" I gasped, sitting up straight.

 

Tattoos have always been something that fascinated me. I couldn't really imagine them to look good on me, not that this would be a good idea as an idol anyways, but I liked them on others.

 

Jungkook moved to fish his phone off his pocket, my eyes glued to his thighs as he did so. I could clearly see the strong muscle, even through his pants, and it took me a moment and some effort to take my eyes off him. Catching myself almost drooling, I looked down in embarrassment, my cheeks flushing a little, I could feel it.

 

Jungkook got up while he was scrolling through his phone and stripped out of his leather jacket, leaving him in a white shirt. He adjusted the sleeves that partially rolled up a bit, showing his muscular arms, to my liking. I swallowed down the knot in my throat and only looked up when he handed me his phone with his instagram opened.

 

"Wow!" Was the first thing that automatically slipped my lips.

 

He was so talented. His tattoos weren't the only amazing thing, the blog was also very aesthetic. Not just plainly taken pictures of the result, but filters, playing with lights, you could tell he had many talents. He showed his hands while tattooing, his sketches and the place he worked and everything looked so pretty to me. I couldn't help but to change the view and scroll though the whole blog, looking at every picture.

His style was nice, but the tattoos all had one thing in common - flowers. Realistic or not, black and white or colored, small or big ones, it was all about flowers which only made it prettier to me.

 

"Not that I have much knowledge, but this looks so awesome!" I said again, only making him chuckle more.

  
  


"Can I.. touch your arm?" I asked, after handing him the phone back.

 

"Sure!" He just said and reached both of them towards me. I grabbed his left, the one that was covered in ink up to the elbow. Lost in thoughts, I pulled his hand close and looked closely at it from all sides, before I carefully ran my fingertips over it. I was surprised, it felt so normal, but it was so soft. His skin was soft like a baby.

 

 

(this is part of the tattoo Jimin is so eagerly looking at)

__________

 

**Jungkook's pov**

  
  
  


I wouldn't have thought that Jimin showed such an interest in my work. And when he asked to see my instagram, I swallowed hard. I got up and took my jacket off, only to make sure my phone was out of his sight. I had to change the account from my fan account to my work’s one without him seeing that. And I was pretty successful at hiding it, I liked to believe.

 

Watching Jimin scroll through the site made me so proud. I didn't give much on anyone’s opinions except for close friends and the ones attached to the body part I was working on, but somehow I was feeling like a praised puppy when he said how good I was and it made my chest swell with pride. _Park Jimin was proud of me._

 

Of course I didn't hesitate when he asked me to touch my inked arms, I would have finally have the chance to feel those soft looking paws, hands, I always found so adorable.

 

When Jimin pulled my arm closer, I was resting my bodyweight on the one he didn't seem so interested in and watched him with a constant soft smile. My eyes widen though, when I feel my hand touching his thigh. It felt soft, yet firm, and I had to pull myself together to not squeeze and the impossible, to not sweat. His face was so close, I felt him breathing against my skin, the hair on my arm dancing along with every exhale.

 

I was happy, genuinely happy we finally overcame this silence and forced interaction and acted more natural with each other. He seemed to be comfortable, he was touching me and my hand was on his thigh. My hand was on his thigh!

  
  


_____

"Why didn't you call me, Jimin-shhi?" I wanted to know, even if I knew the reason behind it.

 

"Oh.." He laughed embarrassed, looking up at me for a moment, before looking over my arm again, as if the design had just changed. Maybe he was just trying to seem busy, so he didn't have to look at me. "First I didn't find the time, then I couldn't find the number anymore. I figured it got washed and when I pulled that paper out, it was gone.." He pouted, looking so cute.

 

I liked his honesty, even if he was embarrassed about telling me.

 

"I'm sorry, hyung.." He said, looking up at me apologetic.

 

Well that was fast?

 

I swallowed harshly and looked into his eyes, not daring to blink as if he would vanish from my sight if I did. And even though he was smiling from ear to ear, his eyes forming into crescents, and giggles escaping his lips, he locked his eyes with mine. With his small hand on my arm and my hand on his thigh, the moment seemed perfect.

 

Gathering all the bravery inside me, I slowly leaned in. Jimin didn't move back, so I took it as a silent permission for me to go for what I was aiming at. My heart was racing the smaller the distance got, until a door opened and then being thrown shut made us pull apart and turn around.

  


 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt like using this gif was of great importance to remind us all of how cute jk is, bye  
> also I said I wouldn't switch povs within chapters but this happened to be an exception


	16. Chapter 16

Jungkook sighed. It would have been too good to be true to feel Jimin's lips on his own, Jungkook thought. 

 

J-Hope kicked his shoes off messily and, almost as a revenge for his lack of his cleanliness, stumbled over them. "Oh?" He then exclaimed, easily being able to catch himself and thus, keep himself from falling. The 'oh' however was not directed towards his own clumsy being, but that he didn't have to be Sherlock Holmes to see that he was interrupting the two. However, he was a tease and instead of going to his room to leave them alone, he decided to stay.

 

"What are you doing here? You're the photographer from last time, right?" 

 

And he was only able to remember him because he noticed him having a doubtful amount of attention for their Jimin. 

 

"Well, I was invited over" Jungkook simply replied. 

 

Jimin, his cheeks once again pink, looked down and nervously fidgeted with his fingers he found so awfully short and chubby. The way Jungkook's voice changed didn't slip his ear. He sounded annoyed, even a bit frustrated, if Jimin had to guess. And it somehow made him proud. Jungkook really badly wanted to kiss him, didn't he? 

 

"And what have you planned for the evening? And where are the others?" J-hope asked, keeping it friendly for now. He wasn't too fond of this Jungkook. Judging from the way he saw the two jumping apart, he assumed they were making out or were about to. And Jimin didn't even know this guy, did he? 

 

It wasn't jealousy what J-Hope felt, at least not if you would ask him, it was rather the lack of trust and understanding for what they did. Some would call him old fashioned, but the imagination of kissing or even more on the first date wasn't appealing to him. And especially if it was about Jimin, the member everyone seemed to be wanting to protect, he was even more suspicious. 

But that was only his version of the situation. The sight of Jungkook made him sick, the sight of Jimin  _ with _ him did. That was why he didn’t even waste a thought of giving them privacy, he wanted Jungkook gone and never come back.

 

J-Hope walked over to the fridge, seeing the box of a chicken restaurant he was sure was from them, before grabbing a juice for himself. He took a few sips and easily hopped on the kitchen counter to be comfortable, while he continued to eye them, more focused on Jungkook.

 

"They are in Namjoon's studio, I assume" Jimin actually decided to answer the given question, not amused by always being that taken care of. He was an adult, after all , and allowed and able to make his own decisions and mistakes. Jimin had needs and wishes for his private life as well. Of course his career was great, he couldn't complain much, he would say, but he has been giving up everything for it. 

 

When he was little, everything was about dancing, when he grew older, he was only 15 when he became a trainee, his everyday was packed with vocal and dance lessons, school to attend, studying. There was no time for dating, there wasn't even time to think about his sexuality. Only when he spent more and more time with his best friend Taehyung, he grew aware of what gender he actually was interested in. This was followed by denial and frustration. He was living in a homophobic society, hearing more than enough cruel comments from his family and surroundings about loving the same gender, more like 'fucking' the same gender. It apparently wasn't even possible to love another man, at least that’s how they made it sound. It took Jimin quite a while to accept this part about himself, Namjoon and Seokjin dating wasn't really helping much. It did, meaning he knew he was safe within his band, as Hoseok had always accepted and respected their relationship as well. But he also saw how much they had to hide. No one except the people living in this house knew about it, probably not even their families. 

Although Jimin chose the idol world, he hated the fact to represent something he wasn't, to be forced to hide who he would date, if he ever found someone. 

 

But now there was Jungkook, someone Jimin liked from the very beginning. Their first meeting was weird for sure, but it burnt itself into Jimin's brain and made him special. They've only spent two hours together today, but Jimin, after an awkward start, apart from the fact he flushed his stomach's content down the toilet, was quickly able to enjoy his company. Jungkook made Jimin feel things he was unaware of. He strengthened his curiosity, he showed him things he didn't know anything about, he made his stomach tingle, his heart race, his body relax. He was different and Jimin liked this kind of different. 

 

Maybe he was raising hopes too quickly. Maybe Jungkook was only nice to get him into bed, maybe he was taking advantage of him being an idol, having money, being famous, maybe it wouldn't work out if they got to know each other better, but he was willing to find out. If he would end up hurt, that was ok. It was part of growing, part of living. He would make the best out of it. But maybe he would find something in the mysterious inked man he was missing and they would complete each other. Whatever it would be, it was not in Hoseok's hands to decide that. As much as Jimin respected his hyung, he wasn't going to obey when it was about his life choices.

 

And Jimin didn't fancy the way J-Hope looked at Jungkook and he tried to signalize it with his face. Squinting his eyes, he shortly shook his head, knowing well J-Hope had seen him and understood what he meant by that. 'Leave him be, leave us be'. But to Jimin's disappointment, the big brother in J-Hope took over. 

 

"Well we shall meet in ten, we have to discuss the schedule for tomorrow." J-Hope said, not the least intimidated.

 

Jungkook got the hint, though and got up, grabbing his jacket. He was upset, maybe disappointed, but he didn't want to make a scene just now. He was just getting closer to Jimin, he didn't want to seem too clingy or be on bad terms with his band members, so he thought giving in would be best. This time.

 

"Thanks for today, Jimin-sshi!" Jungkook looked at the sitting male, finding him so cute with his little fists on his thighs, signalizing he himself wasn't too happy about what was happening that moment. The taller one bowed towards Jimin, before he turned over to Hoseok. Damn, this guy annoyed the shit out of him, yet he stuck to his manners and bowed his head at least a little bit, before walking towards the door. Jungkook had no idea where he was, being driven here by Seokjin who also blindfolded him and he was well aware of the fact he still didn't have Jimin's number, but the air was too thick with J-Hope in the room for him to say anything more. 

 

Jungkook was about to step in his boots by the door, when he felt the softest out of all hands he had ever held grabbing his. Pleasantly surprised, he looked up, just to look right into Jimin's puppy eyes sparkling back at him. Oh, how he felt his heart swelling at that.

 

Jimin squeezed his hand softly, tugging on it a little. "Don't leave, yet!" He whispered, making sure Hoseok wouldn't hear them. 

 

"I thought you had work to do?" Jungkook asked oh-so innocently, averting his eyes to check on J-Hope who glared at them. 

 

Jimin pulled Jungkook back towards where Hoseok stood, just to turn left and down the hallway, saying, "checking the schedule will have to wait until tomorrow," just loudly enough for him to hear, before turning left again to lead Jungkook into his room.

 

Looking down at his chest, Jungkook was convinced his white shirt would move with every heartbeat. He bit his lip in nervousness, his head quickly turning to all sides to catch as many impressions as possible from the new house, while his mind was still focused on the fact that Jimin was holding his hand. This small and soft hand he didn't know how to hold back. Was the usual grip too tight? It felt as if he would hurt him by holding it like that. If he would have to compare him to anything, he would chose a porcelain doll. Flawless beauty that captivates you, cuteness that wants you to hug it close and tight, vulnerability that makes you afraid of breaking them. Jimin wasn’t a doll though. Not even the most expensive doll could win against him. Not in beauty, not in worth. To Jungkook Jimin was invaluable.

 

Before Jungkook's mind could continue driving him crazy, he found himself in what had to be Jimin's room. While he looked around, quickly taking notice and adoring how pretty and warm, yet simple it was, he felt his leather jacket being pulled from his hand and watched Jimin tossing it on the couch nearby. 

 

Jimin locked the door, the last thing he wanted was anyone else bothering them right now and then took Jungkook's other hand as well, looking up to him. He didn't want to regret anything today. At least he didn't want to regret not doing what he has been thinking about so often ever since he first met him. However, he was too shy to just go for what he wanted, but he managed to lock his eyes with Jungkook's and pull his hands closer. Jimin hoped he would get the hint and once again would move to kiss him. And it seemed as if Jimin was lucky today. 

 

Jungkook flashed a smile at him and bent down to close the distance between them once more. And just as their lips were about to touch, both of them let their eyes flutter shut, giving their all into the kiss. In the beginning it was just the most innocent of all, them softly pressing their lips onto each other's, without moving. Only when Jimin tilted his head slightly, Jungkook took it as a permission to brush his lips against his, them moving their lips in sync. And while the older thought it would only be appropriate to pull back after a few seconds, the smaller kept him right where he wanted him. 

 

Untangling their hands, he snuck both around Jungkook's neck, got on his tippy toes and continued. It was also Jimin who then parted his lips and travelled his tongue over Jungkook's soft bottom one, asking for entrance. Once granted, their tongues slowly danced along to the same beat. Jimin felt the heat crawling up to his cheeks and he dared to lose his balance, giving Jungkook the perfect opportunity to hug him tightly and help him keeping a steady posture. 

 

Drown in their own little world, they only paused to gasp for air and stopped once their lips felt numb.

 

 

 

(just some random aesthetics)


	17. Chapter 17

**Jimin's pov**

 

I fell asleep with a smile that night.

 

Jungkook and I have been talking a few hours, sitting on my bed, while I was holding his hand and he was hugging me with his other arm.

I was happy. To be honest, it was hard to let go when Jin brought him home, I wanted him to stay and sleep at my side, but I didn't tell him. It would have been inappropriate, considering it was our first date. It was weird enough how well we got along at all and how quickly we’ve become close, because I usually wasn’t like that. I usually was wary of people, although always friendly. Yet, I usually took time to open up and allow them close, but not with Jungkook. What probably scared me most about it was that some part of me thought it was the right thing to do. Aware of how little I knew about him and everything that came along with an idol possibly dating anyone to begin with, I felt comfortable with growing close to him and probably even a bit dependent on Jungkook.

 

Waking up with a smile on my face, I brushed my fingers over my lips, remembering the many kisses they received the previous night.

 

My smile faltered as soon as I was done with my morning routine when I saw Hoseok looking me dead in the eyes.

 

"What's wrong?" I asked him, frowning. I tried my best to stay respectful to my hyung, even though I was annoyed with his attitude.  

 

"I just don't like him, that's all. I don't trust his motives. What does he want from you? Why did you invite him into our house?"

 

Hoseok's words hurt me more than they should. "What do you mean with 'what does he want from you'? Do you mean there's nothing to like about me? Am I that disgusting? Jungkook is the first one to accept me how I am. If he only likes me for my idol self, so what? At least I'm not going through all this for nothing. If I get a bit of love back from him, then it'll be worth it!" I snapped back and I confused myself with that.

 

Hosoek as well seemed astonished about my sudden outburst of emotions. I knew I overreacted. I knew that's probably not what he meant to say and I didn’t even know if it was what I wanted to say. I got carried away.

 

"I'm sorry," I apologized. "I.. shouldn't be talking to you like this, you're my hyung!" I apologized once again, bowing a bit to emphasize my words.

 

I checked my weight, just like every morning. I lost 100 grams. A small smile tug on the corners of my lips, but it didn’t last long. I lost weight, good, but I need to lose more.

Stripping out of my clothes, I stepped into the shower and remained there for longer than necessary, letting the water pour down on my face. I couldn’t get what just happened out of my head. I felt like I’ve wronged Hoseok so much by snapping at him like this. He was probably just worried, even if I still thought his worries were for no reason. But I apologized and knowing Hoseok, it was probably all I could do.

I exhaled shakily and turned the water off to clean my body instead, the more I distracted myself, the sooner Jungkook and his lips took over my thoughts and soon I was emerged in the memories of last night and that dreamy smile was back on my face.

 

I soon joined the others in the living room, dressed, while they were having breakfast. I didn’t bother to sit down, only opening the fridge to get the little pack of pears, I then saw the leftovers of the chicken, instantly making me smile. I couldn't get Jungkook out of my head, so I decided to text him.

  
  
  
  


"Angel..." I whispered to myself, smiling like an idiot. Jungkook surely knew how to make me smile.

 

"Jimin..." Hoseok interrupted my happiness once more, his voice not loud, but strong, intimidating. I looked up to him, just to be met by his soft face.

 

"That's not what I mean. You're a great guy, ok? We just have to be careful. You have to be careful. If he's serious about, well I'm more than happy. But he's basically a stranger and he knows our address now..."

 

"We have to be careful? Hyung, I appreciate your worry, but my relationship is not your business.." I frowned, once again realizing that I wasn't showing enough respect towards him. “I do not mean to disrespect any of you, I should know my position as the maknae, but can’t you let me decide for myself what I think is right? You all always want the best for me but when I think this is the best for me it’s not right?”

I sighed and lowered my gaze, still thinking I said too much for my own good. I couldn’t comprehend why I kept overreacting, not at first. Until I realized how desperate I’ve became over the years. I just wanted to be loved. I needed someone to hold me and tell me it would be ok. I wanted someone I could curl up to after a stressful day or someone who would nurse me when I was the cause of my own health breaking down. And as ridiculous as it might sound to others, this is the closest I’ve ever got there. I was desperate for it to work out, for me and Jungkook to work out.

 

Nothing but silence followed after my words and it made me uncomfortable. I either was talking to a wall or clearly overstepped a line, I wasn’t sure what it was, but it made me regret opening my mouth, showing my vulnerable side.

 

"He doesn't know our address." Seokjin interrupted from behind, munching his breakfast noisily. Of course, no matter how thick the tension, Seokjin would always have enough appetite to eat. "I picked him up and brought him back and he was wearing a sleeping mask!" He said, seeming proud as he lifted his index finger along.

 

Hoseok and I stared at each other, then at Seokjin. We didn't expect him to plan it that well. Namjoon, on the other hand, silently put his food down and hid his face behind his hand, shaking his head.

 

"If he was alone for one moment and checked his GPS, he knows it..." Hoseok pointed out, frowning at Jin who stared at him in disbelief, obviously he hadn't thought of that. Neither did I, but I wasn't the one to think Jungkook would be a risk to any of us.

 

"You're right, but I don't think he would do that. He respected all of us, he is a good guy.." I said, I just had to defend him.

  


"So, how was your date?" Namjoon asked, shoving the plate aside. It was funny how such a simple move lit up my mood. While Seokjin took it as an invitation to eat his boyfriend’s leftovers, I took the plate as a metaphor for the argument and worries to be shoved aside.

 

My smile instantly came back, wider than ever before. "It was great! We talked a lot. He showed me his tattoos and told me about his job and showed me pictures of his work.. he's so interesting!" I found myself daydreaming and giggled. Apparently I was an open book, because I couldn’t contain my happiness either.

 

"Did you hit the bedroom already? Hoseok said you took him to your room." Namjoon smirked.

 

"N-no, if you mean if we did.. things.. we kissed, that's it." I shyly admitted, looking down as i felt my cheeks heating again. I really missed his lips on mine and I found myself touching them again while I got lost in thoughts.

 

"Awwww this is so cute!!!" Seokjin squealed and got up to hug me tightly, albeit leaving some crumbles on my shoulder and shirt.

 

"Thank you, hyung. Jungkook said thank you for bringing him home safely and for the evening in general. And I'd like to say thank you, too!" I said softly and sincerely, pressing himself tightly against me.

 

"O-ok ok, m-my pleasure. N-now leave some... oxygen in the-se poor lungs of an old man!" He said, tapping my back a few times. I think I squeezed him too tightly.

 

"Sorry.." I let go in embarrassment and wanted to get back to business to not make a fool of my like-a-teenager-acting self.

  
  


"Now, what is there to talk about? You wanted to recheck our schedules?" I asked, the question mainly directed towards Hoseok who insisted that this was urgent the night before.

But judging from his reaction, I was right assuming he just wanted Jungkook to leave.

However, I didn't want to fight anymore. I didn't want to prove them he was a good boy, I didn't have to.

 

For a few hours I managed to not think of him and concentrate on the interviews we actually really had to prepare, before I found myself texting him as soon as I had time.

 


	18. Chapter 18

** Jungkook's pov **

 

I was still at home, cuddled into my sheets when I felt my phone buzzing. It made me soft that Jimin was texting me that early in the morning. And I didn't hesitate to text back quickly. But then hours passed in which I got no reply and eventually I had to work as well. Ah, I really was impatient, right?

 

"So that must have been hell of a special photo shoot yesterday? Managed to get some nudes of Jimin-sshi?" Yoongi mocked, but his voice was flat. 

 

"Oh shut up, hyung!" I countered and nudged his side.

 

"Let me live, hulk!" He then scoffs and rubs the spot I haven't even hit hard. I should have hit harder for what he said.

 

But I understood his curiosity, my cheeks were hurting from all the smiling today. Even during work I thought of Jimin. Sure, I was able to concentrate, still finished the tattoos as best as I could, but he didn't leave my mind and I hated the fact hours passed in which I wasn't able to text him because my hands were occupied.

  
  
  


"It wasn't a photo shoot, it was more or less an arranged date from this Mr. Kim." I informed Yoongi. He was my closest friend after all. I knew they expected me to keep certain things such as Seokjin's and Namjoon's relationship a secret, but I knew who I could trust and I knew how much I could and had to tell.

 

"You're joking?" Yoongi plopped down on the client's chair, staring at me. It was amusing that I managed to blow that stoic face and actually cause some emotions other than annoyance. 

 

"No. He picked me up, blindfolded me and drove me to a house. We stopped to get some fries and chicken, there apparently wasn't enough food on the set. But when I-”

Yoongi’s snort interrupted me and he threw his head back in laughter. “That’s wicked, man. Go on.”

I frowned, poked my tongue into my cheek in annoyance at him, but continued. “When I arrived, nothing of that was like a set. There were no people, no food, no..set. I didn't say anything, though, and just waited. I had to sit down on a couch and Mr. Kim said he would be right back and before I knew, Jiminie stood right in front of me. He looked so casual, cozy, so fucking adorable!" I couldn't stop blabbering, my face still aching as the smile didn't even think of leaving my face.

 

"Jiminie.." Yoongi frowned, most likely making fun of the nickname I was using for my angel.

 

I didn't hesitate to kick his leg which he once again complained about.

 

"So we ate and talked and hyung, he wanted to know  _ everything _ about my job. Damn, I had to be careful. He was so demanding about wanting to see pictures. I couldn't possibly show him my camera roll. It's full of saved pictures of him!"

 

Yoongi laughed and shook his head, facepalming himself. "You know that you have to tell him about that, right? If you want to be his friend or lover or whatever, he should know that you're a little obsessed with him. Tell him about your fanblog and the concerts you've went to and let him decide whether or not he wants you in his life." Yoongi spoke calmly, resting his cheek against his fist as he looked at me.

 

I sighed in defeat, my smile vanishing, as I let my head drop down. "That makes me look like a stalker, right? He wouldn't want me.." I felt myself getting unusually nervous about it, idly playing with my fingers while I nibbled at my bottom lip.

 

"If you'd be a stalker, you'd know the house you went to yesterday. You'd know the schedule by heart, too and you'd sneak around him all the time, writing him creepy letters. Wait, you don't write him creepy letters, right?"

 

I laughed, shaking my head. In fact, I've never written him a letter, yet.

 

"Imagine him falling for you and then he finds out about that. I'd be disappointed in his place. Just be honest, man. It's not that hard!" He sighed seemingly frustrated and pushed himself off. "Off, let's get lunch!"

 

Still thinking about what he just told me, I got up and followed him quietly.

 

Was Yoongi right? Should I tell Jimin what a fanboy I was? Or would I only ruin my chances? It’s not like I could just go up to him and just tell him, it wasn’t as easy as Yoongi made it sound. At least not when I knew how it could ruin everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what do you think Jungkook should do? shall he follow yoongi's advice?


	19. Chapter 19

It was after Jimin's last appointment that day that the two were about to meet again. Seokjin being involved in the plan, he collected them from their location, just to drop off Jimin a few blocks further, telling him to call him and he would pick him back up. What an angel he was, Jimin thought. Jimin knew it wouldn’t even be possible to meet Jungkook like this if it wasn’t with Seokjin’s help and he felt extremely happy to know his hyung was doing all this for him. How could he ever thank him for that?

When they arrived, Jungkook was already waiting, leaning against the wall lazily. It wasn't until he recognized the car that he fixed his posture and stood straight with his hands folded in front of his body, so totally not like himself.   
Jimin got out of the car looking like a royal, Jungkook thought. His blond hair brushed back, it elegantly fell to the sides as soon as his hand let go of it. He was wearing his sunglasses, although the sun set hours ago. A black turtleneck that could have been tighter, if you'd ask Jungkook, black jeans and boots and then his dark blue coat on top. Jungkook, on the other hand, didn't have a lot of colors to choose from. He wore a white hoodie beneath a black jacket, along with a black beanie, black jeans and boots.

"Hi!" Jungkook flashed a wide smile at the younger. He wanted to hug and kiss him, but stopped himself from doing so. His arms, however, automatically moved up, but he took them down awkwardly.

"Hey!" Jimin shyly greeted him back and turned around to the car, waiting for it to drive off, before he'd flash a wider grin at Jungkook.

"I don't even know where to look, can you even see? It's dark!" Jungkook asked along with a snicker. He just wanted to ease the tension between them a little.

Jimin laughed softly and took his glasses off. "You're right, I can't. Let's go for a walk?" He suggested to which Jungkook agreed.

If he was honest, Jimin wasn't a big fan of the night, being outside when the streets were empty and only drunk or dangerous people were outside, but he felt safe with Jungkook. And he knew it was best for them to meet in the dark, the chances of meeting fans were smaller.

After catching up on today's news, the two found themselves on a park bench an hour later. It was cold, at least Jimin was freezing, but he was ok with it.

"Jungkook-ah.." Jimin started softly, reaching for the older’s hand to play with his fingers.   
“Hm?”"Hoseok-hyung keeps telling me to be careful and that I shouldn't bring you home and that you could take advantage of me being an idol.." Jimin voiced what has been occupying his mind all day long already. Maybe he was naive for bringing it up. Hoseok would tell him that Jungkook could lie to him just to make him believe him. But Jimin didn’t think he would be lied to, at least he was expecting nothing but the truth from him.

Jungkook sighed, thinking about what Yoongi had told him today. And now would probably be his only chance to tell him. Jungkook's heart was beating heavily enough for him to feel his voice would shake if he'd talk now, but what other choice did he have?   
"I don't know what to say, Jiminie.." He admitted and looked up to be met with sad puppy eyes. Jungkook could tell how fragile Jimin was. He saw the fear in his eyes. He seemed afraid his hyung would be right and Jungkook hoped to take the fear away, to not hurt him, never.   
"I'm a fan of your band, especially you. You can call me a fanboy, I guess" Jungkook's voice was low, he was obviously embarrassed to let Jimin know about that. He hated how Jimin made him feel. His strong personality and his confidence was crumbling, his voice showed insecurity and fear.   
But the younger just smiled shyly, the soft blush even visible in the light of the street lantern a meter away from them.

"When you asked me to show you my instagram, I panicked, because there's more than one instagram. I'm pretty embarrassed to let you know, but I run a big Jimin fan account ourcutestmochi..." Jungkook shook his head in disbelief about what a fool he was making of himself and hid his face with his hand.   
Jimin just chuckled and reassured him it was ok and that he could go on by squeezing his hand softly.

"I was logged into that account, so I quickly had to change before I showed you my tattoo account." He sighed. "And I couldn't show you my photographies, because half of my camera roll is full of pictures and videos of you" Now it was Jungkook's turn to blush, but Jimin couldn't see that beneath the make up he was once again wearing.   
All he felt was Jungkook's palm getting sweaty in his own, but that was ok. He was happy. There was no doubt Jungkook was telling him the truth with how embarrassed he was and how cold and sweaty his hand was. 

"I like you for what you show us. I'm aware that is not your true self. I..."   
And here he was, already about to fuck up. Jungkook was about to tell him that he saw that Jimin was struggling. He saw the weight loss over the years, the bad condition in what Jimin seemed to be in and that he saw emptiness in his eyes. That was the reason he creeped up at him in the photo shooting, to provoke some emotions. But it would be too personal to say that just now, he knew that. So Jungkook managed to stop himself before ruining it.

"I can understand it seems to be creepy to date... I mean, no. I mean to befriend a fan!" Managing to avoid dropping the brick, he messed it up right after. Groaning, the older leant against the back of the bench and let his head drop back to which Jimin only laughed.   
He had been holding it back too long and was now just a giggling mess, squirming, eventually leaning against Jungkook. As funny as it was, Jimin knew that Jungkook had the wish to date him and that, of course, made him happy.

"I meant to say yeah, I'm a fanboy, but that's nothing bad, right? It means I support you and so on. I hope you still give me a chance to get to know the real Park Jimin." Jungkook exhaled slowly, proud he eventually ended it in a good way, even if he still was embarrassed.

"It's a good thing, I guess. I would rather befriend or date someone who's supportive of what I do than someone who doesn't care or even hates it!" Jimin nodded and instantly managed to take the weight off Jungkook's shoulders.  
There was comfortable silence between them. One which Jungkook took to get over how Jimin was using the word ‘date’ and Jimin to process the information of his crush being a huge fan who probably knew a lot about him. 

"So, you're not gonna run away?" He asked, lifting his head to look down at the smaller male who still seemed thoughtful.

"Actually... running might be a good idea. I'm freezing!" He giggled.

For a moment Jungkook's heart dropped, but Jimin's little shivering and the way he pulled his shoulders so close to his head each time he was giggling made him melt instantly.

"I can get you a coffee. Or, excuse my creepiness, I can take you to my place. Or I can call you a cab, if you want to go home?" Jungkook offered, running his thumb over Jimin's small hand. Only then he realized how sweaty his palms were and he pulled a face at that. "Shit, sorry" Jungkook muttered and took both hands to wipe them on his jeans. But Jimin didn't mind, he gently pulled the same hand closer to embrace it with both hands and smiled reassuringly.

"Take me to your place, hyung!"


	20. Chapter 20

  
  
  


** Jimin's pov **

 

It didn't take us long to arrive at Jungkook's apartment. We took his car from where we met that evening, a matte black one. I wasn't really interested in cars, it was good as long as it had four wheels and did what it's purpose was, but I found it to be pretty. It was the first time I saw a matte car in Korea in general or maybe I have never paid enough attention.

 

When I got out, I couldn't help but to look around for people who could possibly see me, but the streets seemed empty apart from a few people who were too busy getting their drunk butts home safely. One of them was supported by two others. He had a plastic back hanging from his ears. Well, at least he wouldn't vomit on the streets then, quite smart.

  
  
  


Before I realized, I had followed Jungkook upstairs and found myself in his home. I didn't know what I expected, but it wasn't this. Once I stepped out of my shoes and Jungkook took my coat for me, I walked into the one room apartment, but it was a spacious one. Everything was black with white and grey accessories. The kitchen, the sleeping area, the couch, everything. It was aesthetic, though. But for some reason I expected Jungkook to be messier. His apartment was clean, but not in a way that looked as if he tried, he just seemed well organized.

 

"Do you like it?" Jungkook asked with a chuckle. He seemed to notice the way I couldn't help but to look around. 

 

"It's so dark!" I laughed softly and turned around to face him. He was standing closer than I expected, startling me slightly. 

 

"Is that a bad thing?" He wanted to know, but suddenly I couldn't concentrate on his words anymore, instead I just hugged him close to press my lips back onto his. Jungkook didn't seem to mind, he hugged my waist tightly and pressed me against himself, while I got on my toes to not hurt his neck from having to bend down whenever we kissed. I felt happy, feeling what I've been longing for all day already. How could we possibly be so attached to each other? It was only the second day we've spent together. 

 

Before the kiss could get too hot, I pulled back, slightly panting. I craved him, my body did, too, but it was too early.

  
  
  


"Do you want a tea or something?" Jungkook offered as if he was able to read my mind, walking towards the kitchen, only letting go of my hand when he really had to.

 

"Ah.. I'm not cold anymore." I admitted along with an embarrassed chuckle, awkwardly playing with my hands.

 

Jungkook only smiled and then took two glasses out of his cupboard to fill them with water. 

 

"Are you hungry, have you eaten?" He asked in the most careful way. 

 

"I'm not hungry." I shook my head and approached him slowly until I stood right in front of him. I placed my hands on his chest, taking notice of how firm his upper body felt, before I again got on my toes to kiss him. When I switched positions with him, I only thought of helping when I sat on the counter and pulled Jungkook between my legs. The size difference decreased, making it easier for his neck and my toes to kiss. Then I realized in how many movies that ended quite naughty and grew shy. 

  
  
  
  
  


Jungkook's pov

 

Having Jimin in my apartment was surreal. Everything was going so fast, but so smooth, it was like a dream and I found myself randomly poking or squeezing my arm or leg in attempt to wake myself up from it. Maybe I was just trying to prove myself I wasn't dreaming because if I did, I certainly wanted to sleep forever.

 

The way he looked around in my apartment made me nervous. For some weird reason it was important to me that Jimin felt comfortable and liked it. Maybe my brain was already thinking further, imagining how he would visit me often, thinking of everything we could possibly do here together. And for a brief moment I dreamt of how it would be when Jimin would be my boyfriend and make this his second home. 

 

I was quickly pulled out of my daydream when the softest and prettiest lips landed on my own. My heartbeat increased immediately, making me forget everything but Jimin. It was as if everything around us stopped moving and we were the only thing that mattered. My hands wandered to his hips so naturally and I pulled him close. I've been craving him all day and now that I had him right in front of me I wanted to cherish him, pamper him. I played with the thought of sneaking my hands beneath his pullover just to feel his soft skin, but I stopped myself. I didn't want to seem rude or pushy after all. But then again I was wondering whether Jimin thought the same when he pulled me between his legs. I was tempted to pull him closer, let my hands wander over his cute strawberry butt, but I resisted. Something in the way he acted made me think he wasn't sure of what he was doing, at least not ready to go further and I just wanted him to know that it was ok. I took his glass and handed it to him, while I leaned against the counter next to him, hoping it would ease his worries when I wasn't standing between his legs anymore. 

  
  
  


"So.. could you maybe show me some of your works now? Pictures you're normally taking?" Jimin asked and made me laugh. 

 

I still thought it was better to directly grab my MacBook and open the folder where I saved all of my favorites, than letting him into the depth of my camera roll. Besides all the videos and pictures of Jimin, there were a lot of selfies and random things that could be embarrassing. 

 

"Come, let's get comfortable!" I offered and took his hand which he willingly grabbed, before jumping off the counter, landing as gently as a fairy. 

 

We took our glasses with us and went to the couch where my MacBook was, anyways. I opened it and scrolled down to the folder I was looking for. I put the laptop on my lap and started to show him the pictures, feeling a little awkward about it. 

 

Jimin, however, pulled his legs up and leant against my shoulder, while he was curiously waiting. I've never met someone as interested as this man and it made my chest fill with pride. Wrapping one arm around him, I began scrolling through the gallery, randomly telling him short stories about some of my favorite pictures.

 

(the closest I could get to his apartment. the couch is supposed to face the same direction as the bed and it's a little bigger than here)


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jikook are getting closer

"When did you start with all that? The tattooing, the photos?" Jimin asked, while his eyes were fixed on the screen. Jimin was constantly telling Jungkook to not scroll so fast, he wanted to take his time looking at every picture. So eventually Jungkook turned the laptop towards him, giving him the chance to move at his own pace instead.

 

"I've always enjoyed both. Drawing has been a hobby for me ever since I was a kid, it was helping me to relax. And the photography.. my dad is interested in it, so I've learnt a lot from him and YouTube. He used to take pictures when we've been on vacations, but his favorite motive has always been my mom.” 

Jimin stopped scrolling for a moment. He turned his head and shifted to lie down on his lap, looking up to Jungkook who watched him with a soft smile and didn’t mind that they weren’t looking at his pictures anymore. He enjoyed the moment and used the time to eye Jimin and stroke to his soft hair.

“She has called him silly for that, but I've always admired it. Every picture he took of her was unique and beautiful and he always presented her in the best way possible. To me, back then, it was a mystery. But growing up I think it was the power of his love, as cheesy as that might sound.”

Jimin stared at him and the more Jungkook talked, the more he was once again captivated by the older. He couldn’t stop smiling while listening to the stories about his parents.

“Capturing real emotions isn't easy, I think it makes a difference whether your object… or well the one in front of your camera is a stranger or someone you're deeply in love with, though." Jungkook tried his best to explain. His thoughts were a little messy and thinking about the past, Jungkook also realized how much he missed his parents.

 

It didn't happen often that Jimin heard someone talking so honestly and it seemed like today was the night of deep talks. He could see that Jungkook was opening up to him with the amount of personal information, feelings and memories he was talking about and it deeply touched him. 

And while Jimin seemed in complete awe, Jungkook wondered whether he had said too much. Was he leaving too much room for imagination by saying it made a difference whether you love the person you capture or not? Because he was referring to his parents, not himself and Jimin. He was, wasn’t he? But why did he think of Seokjin who had told him that Jimin’s pictures turned out especially well?

 

"That's beautiful.." Jimin whispered before Jungkook could drown in his thoughts, his hand coming to settle down on Jungkook's stomach, his fingers gently caressing him through the thick hoodie. "What about now? Is he still taking them?" He asked curiously, peeking up at him.

 

"As far as I know, yes. Mom grows more insecure the older she gets, my dad is two years younger than her, too. But my father is a good man. He doesn't care about such things. Aging is normal, it doesn't mean you're less beautiful when you're older." Jungkook explained further, wrapping Jimin around his finger with every word. 

 

"I'm pretty sure you're coming after your dad." He quietly stated, more to himself that Jungkook. The respect he showed towards his family was wonderful to the younger. It also showed him he must have a good relationship with them which was important. That was the moment Jimin was convinced that Jungkook was in no way planning to take advantage of him or his fame, he was too good for that. His father had raised a good man, not an asshole.

 

Jungkook laughed softly, shaking his head and glancing down on the hand that rested on his body, while he bit his bottom lip in embarrassment. He felt comfortable around Jimin. To be honest, Jungkook wasn't one to talk much about himself and if, it was only to Yoongi. His older friend was wise, someone who always knew the right thing to say or do, just like with Jimin. It was good being honest with Jimin and he made a mental note to thank Yoongi for that advice the next day.

 

"What do your parents think of your job?" Jimin continued showing his curiosity. 

 

"Oh well," Jungkook started with a little frustrated laugh, "let's phrase it like that: they like the artistic aspect and the outcome, they just do not like tattoos in general and think it's no job that can support a family or even myself on the long run."

 

Jimin just nodded. It didn't sound as if Jungkook's parents knew about his sexuality. Not that this was unusual, so it didn't surprise Jimin. His own parents didn’t know and he would rather die than to tell them. "Do they know?" He asked anyways.

 

"I've told them. It took a while for them to take that information and I guess when they talk about having a family, it's still my mother's sadness about not having grandchildren." Jungkook shrugged slightly. "My brother is working on it though, I've told him to have an extra pair to make up for my loss!" He joked and laughed.

 

Jimin couldn't believe what Jungkook just said. He was so silly, yet managed to make Jimin laugh with his humor. His little hand grabbed the fabric, as he giggled and hid his face against Jungkook's stomach. 

 

“Are you serious?!” Jimin gasped out between all the giggles, mumbled against his sweater.

“About what?” Jungkook laughed as well and he couldn’t help himself but to pull Jimin closer against his body. “I really told my brother to have an extra baby to make up for me, yes”

“Oh god!” Jimin couldn’t stop laughing and thought he would suffocate any given second, especially with how much his nose was pressed against Jungkook’s body. And he didn’t fail to notice how tight his abs were when he was laughing. 

  
  


"Mind to tell me more about you, though? Do your parents know?" He asked, once both calmed down a bit.

 

Jimin shook his head, pouting a little. "I haven't told anyone actually. Namjoon-hyung and Seokjin-hyung found out by themselves and then there's my best friend who knows." He shrugged. 

 

Jungkook understood. Coming out wasn't easy, especially in this society, especially as an idol. He had the feeling Jimin was quite inexperienced, understandable if he tried to keep it a secret that badly. Maybe he was jumping into conclusions too fast, but as shy as he was around him, it sort of gave off that vibe of him being all innocent. If he was right about that, it'd be an honor to Jungkook to be the first, he thought. But he also knew how important it was to take small steps and not overwhelm him.

 

“So you don’t like girls at all, I assume?” Jimin asked, slowly getting up to sit properly again.

“Nah, not really. I tried. Didn’t we all? Was just never my cup of tea.” Jungkook shrugged and now had his hand resting in the small of Jimin’s back.

  
  
  
  


"Are you happy with the job you've chosen?" Jungkook asked, pushed the laptop a little further and hugged Jimin tighter. 

 

"Sometimes yes, sometimes no." The male answered, the sadness in his voice hard to miss. "It was my dream to dance and sing and to make music. But being an idol means giving up on a lot of things and sometimes these are just things I miss too much and want back." Jimin sighed. 

 

The words left the older in confusion. It was said so vaguely that a minute or two passed in which the older battled with himself whether he should ask further or refrain, a silence in which Jimin started to feel uncomfortable. In the end, Jungkook decided to let it slip, not wanting him to feel stressed as he felt the small body in his arms tensing. Bringing a hand to cup his cheek, Jungkook made Jimin look up to him, before he again planted soft kisses on the other's lips. And as soon as Jimin felt the softness of Jungkook, he relaxed into the touch, his eyes falling shut. Kissing the older was making him feel so many things that it was overwhelming. It made him feel weak, the way he melted into his hands, it suffocated him, because he was holding his breath unintentionally whenever their lips met, it made him feel high, as if he just found the drug he wanted to get addicted to and it made him feel strong, as if he could do anything with the support of Jungkook. But the most important was, it made him happy.

 

"You know what's funny?" Jimin asked, their lips still brushing against each other while he was talking, his voice ever-so gentle. "I thought kissing you would be weird with that ring in your lip. But I like it!" Jimin, giving Jungkook no time to even react to, giggled, leaned into his lips again to then lick the said piercing, playing with it. 

 

Jungkook laughed, but didn't pull back. It made him happy how much fun Jimin was having right now. He didn't expect him to pull his piercing with his teeth, though. 

 

"Does it hurt?" Jimin asked so innocently, although he was so careful while tugging on it. 

 

"No." Jungkook whispered, looking up at Jimin who was too focused on his new toy. And before Jungkook knew, the ring was nibbled on again, pulled a little rougher. He couldn't help the moan that slipped his lips at the teasing, pulling and biting his lip has always been a turn on for him. 

As Jimin realized what he was doing to Junkook, he let go of the ring and looked at the other who stared right back at him with his lips wet and parted, his eyes sparkling with lust and adoration. No second thought was needed for Jimin to crash his lips back against Jungkook's. The older was sitting up to deepen the kiss and Jimin took his legs off the couch as well, turning and putting his hand down on Jungkook's thigh, not even realizing how close to his crotch it was. Jungkook's jaw clenched for a brief moment, before his hand as well wandered over the outside of the other's firm leg, stopping at his hip.

 

In no time the passion in both of them took over, the heat both bodies produced seeming to raise the room's temperature. This time it was Jungkook who asked for permission, as the tip of his tongue gently poked Jimin's bottom lip. Along with a little chuckle, he was let in, just to be surprised when he felt his tongue being sucked on. Another groan left Jungkook's throat, this time a little louder than before. Jimin started to forget about his worries and decided it was ok to go further as long as it felt good. And his body felt good, relaxed, soft, apart from one part that dared to grow harder the longer this make out session lasted. Jimin's hands stroke Jungkook's cheeks and then found their place in Jungkook's hair, gently playing with the strands in his nape, only making the older softer for him than he already was. 

 

Emerged in the kisses, the smaller found himself sitting on one of Jungkook's thighs with their tongues lapping against each other between messy kisses. With the big hands in his sides that kept him in place, Jimin forgot the world around him only to be brought back by his phone ringing. It was Jungkook who pulled back after a few seconds, clearing his throat, before speaking. "I think you should take that call, Jiminie.." He whispered, although he hated to let him go now. 

 

Huffing, Jimin got up and hurried to his bag to then answer Seokjin's call. Jungkook's eyes followed him and he once again found himself admiring everything about this boy. He was even prettier with the arousal shown in his face and how pink his cheeks were, he thought. 

 

The call was ended quickly and judging from the expression, it weren't good news. 

 

"Seokjin-hyung is downstairs, I am sorry..." He apologized and looked down at his feet. Jungkook was to the rescue, jumped up on his feet and hugged Jimin tightly. "It's fine. I just saw it's already close to 1am, you need sleep, mh?"

 

"I really don't want to piss him off, he's doing so much for me." Jimin whispered and Jungkook nodded. 

 

"I understand and you're right. He helps us a lot with this. Don't make him wait, mh? You can call or text me and we'll see each other soon, ok?" Jungkook tried his best to bring the smile back to Jimin's lips and he indeed was rewarded with a small one, followed by a nod.

 

Jungkook took him to the entrance, where he waited with Jimin's coat in his hands for him to put on his boots. He helped him sliding his arms through the holes and brushed his fingers over the still pink cheeks one last time for this night. 

 

"Sleep well!" Jimin said his goodbyes and got on his toes to peck these pretty pierced lips once more. Jungkook was even taller standing on this little stair that separated the entrance from the living area. 

 

"You too, my angel!" Jungkook whispered softly and then watched him leave with a heavy feeling in his chest.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the imessages being a little weird. ofc taehyung's picture has been sent by himself.  
> i love to include sns but i am too stupid to do so

** Jimin's pov **

 

It was hard to leave, but I didn't have any other choice. I hurried down, after making sure I had all of my belongings and got into the car that was parked right in front of the house.

 

"Hi, Jimin" Jin greeted me, looking at me through the rear-view mirror.

 

"Hey, hyung!" I said back, looking at him. He looked tired, his face was puffy and red. "I am sorry it got so late, I forgot about time.." I apologized, feeling like a scolded kid with it's parents, although Jin hasn't even said anything.

 

"You met late. Did you have fun at least?" He asked and concentrated on the road. Seoul was empty in the middle of the night, so I was sure we'd be home faster than usual, but I still felt bad for making Jin stay up so late.

 

"Yes.. he.. really is special. Hyung, I asked him about Hoseok-hyung's doubts. And he admitted that he was a fanboy, he was even running this fan account on instagram, he said. He was so embarrassed and that was so cute.." I sighed and leaned against the window, watching the lights and cars pass by, while I felt an unfamiliar feeling in my stomach. It was similar to the moment I kissed Taehyung a few months ago, but so much stronger. I knew that's what people called having a crush on someone, it were the butterflies that danced through my belly and I patted them as if I encouraged them to stay or grow.

 

"And what do you think about that?" Seokjin asked, laughing softly.

 

"I think it's cute. I don't have a problem with it. The way he treats me and the way he speaks about his parents shows me that he's a good guy. He wouldn't use me for anything. He is interested in me. Not my body, well not only, but me, I can feel that. It really is fun talking to him.. I like him.." I admitted, my gaze was fixed at the lantern outside, while we waited for the red light to switch.

 

"Ah.. our Jimin is happy! I'm glad if he's the right one for you, I really do hope so!" Seokjin said and turned around to smile at me.

 

"Thank you, hyung. And thank you for also doing all of these things for me. You're tired and you need to sleep.." I smiled softly, feeling how my body started getting more and more tired as well.

 

"You're welcome, Jimin!"

 

Once the car continued rolling, I took my phone off my pocket, seeing that Taehyung had texted me which distracted me from actually going to instagram to have a look at the account he was talking about.

I read the messages and snorted. This guy was driving me insane.

 

     

     

     

 

As soon as we got home, Seokjin and I got inside. The house was already dark, making me feel worse about the fact that Seokjin had to drive to pick me up while everyone else went to bed already.

 

I got ready for bed, after hugging Jin once more, changed my clothes into a pajama and lied down. And all I could think about was Jungkook, so I texted him.

 

     

I locked my phone to then put it down on my chest, as if I could hug him or just have him closer to my heart. Before I would forget, I finally went to open instagram, the account’s name ourcutestmochi still present in my mind. I was quite mind-blown when I saw the simple amount of followers despite it being a fanblog. Then I was shocked about the amount of posts. I saved myself from doing the math of how much he had to post daily to even reach this number. Weirdly enough all that only warmed my chest, so I took some more time to scroll through the posts to check what he was writing. It was mostly the same caption from twitter or something about our schedules, mostly short. I was surprised to see that everything was translated into what looked like flawless english to me along with english and korean tags. My smile grew when I stumbled over cuter and inofficial captions like ‘I swear he is so cute wtf’, ‘Who allowed him it makes me angry’, ‘Jimin is really so talented, I am stanning the right group’ and ‘Look at this fucking smile I swear I just died and reincarnated only to now die again’. What an idiot, I thought. A very very lovely idiot. My idiot.

I locked my phone to then put it down on my chest, as if I could hug him or just have him closer to my heart. It didn't take long for me to fall asleep that day.


	23. Chapter 23

** Jimin's pov **

  
  


Once I finished my morning duties and took a little nap, it was time to text my bestie, I promised him to send him a picture after all.

  
  
  
  


     

     

I shook my head at my best friend's stupidity and decided to not text him back for a bit. I had things to do anyways, so I left my room to join my band mates. It was better than pondering about what Taehyung and I had talked about because even if I hated it, it hurt quite a bit. I also hated the fact I had zero control over my emotions and snapped at him. I had to apologize sooner or later.

     

 

     

**Jungkook's pov**

  
  


"Thank you, Yoongi" I said as soon as I met him outside of the apartment.

 

"The fuck is wrong with you again, kid?" He snapped and glanced at me.

 

"Didn't have your morning coffee, yet, huh?" I teased him and nudged his side gently.

 

Once I was inside, I didn't have much time left before my first client would arrive. I got the sketch out just in time and got to work. I secretly hoped Jimin would really send me a picture of himself today, but I wouldn't force it.

  
  
  
  


The day went by faster than I thought and once I got home, I missed him more than ever. I decided to try my luck and call him. And I was already about to end the call, when he suddenly picked up.

 

"Jungkook-ah..." He giggled cutely, making me release a happy sigh.

 

"Jiminie... I missed your voice. How are you?" I asked, huffing a little as I readjusted myself on my bed.

 

"I'm tired, the day has been long. And you?"

 

"Same. Had a few clients today. One longer and a few smaller tattoos to do. Do you want to sleep? We can call some other time."

 

"No, it's fine. I'll be awake for a bit, anyways."

 

"Okay, angel... Have you eaten well?" I asked, I couldn't help the worry inside me. Ever since the day I saw him eating so quickly and heard him throwing up afterwards, I was worried. Two days have passed and he didn't seem to get sick, so it was either just this one time or something I didn't even want to think of. Jimin has always been so beautiful. If he was starving himself just to match someone else's definition of beauty more, it would break my heart.

 

"I ate, Jungkook-ah!" He laughed softly.

 

"Hey Jiminie!" I then said, turning serious. "You sound very much alive, why didn't you send me a picture of yourself, yet?" Didn't I say I didn't want to push him?

 

"Because you know every picture of me anyways, which means I have to take new selfies for you. And now I'm going to tell you a secret," he lowered his voice into a whisper, making me smile like an idiot. "I am not good at taking them. I take 20 pictures and keep one" Jimin laughed, but at the end the distance between his voice and the speaker seemed to increase, as if he was holding the phone away.

 

Feeling my phone buzzing, i took it off to tap the notification right away. And I couldn't help the lovestruck "awww" that slipped my lips at the sight. I covered my mouth, knowing quite well that it was too late anyways, but it would keep me from releasing more of that.

  
  


Jimin chuckled and I quickly put my headphones in, so I could stare at the picture a bit longer, while still talking to him.

 

"You're so cute." I gasped, only making him laugh more.

 

"Knowing that you know every pic of me anyways, it's easier to be myself, you've seen my ugly side already, so I don't have to take flawless selfies!" He kept giggling, making me sigh.

  
  


"Jimin, there is no ugly side. You've always been pretty."

 

"I was fat when we debuted!" He protested, making me shake my head, although he couldn't see me.

 

"You had a chubby face, you weren't fat. You weren't even chubby anywhere else than your face. And it was cute. You looked... healthy." I spoke as softly as I probably could, hoping to not offend him with that.

 

Jimin got quiet, but his calm breathing was sign enough he was still there. "Yeah.. it was easier back then." He just said, confusing me. And when I was about to ask what he meant, he cut me off. "Hey Jungkook-ah. Why do you always wear makeup?" He asked, giggling cutely.

 

"Because I like it, Jiminie." I smirked, by now I travelled down to my instagram to check on my feed and the latest comments my posts received. "I think it suits my image."

 

"What Image? One of a hardcore bunny?" He laughed, making me gasp.

 

"Excuse me?!" I pretended to be upset.

 

"You look like a badass, but you're the softest man I've ever met. And you've got a bunny smile!" He tried to argue, making me give up with a laugh.

 

"Yeah, i think it suits my hardcore bunny image!" I agreed, chuckling.

 

"So, when will I see you without makeup? I'm sure you're not wearing any right now. It's already late!" He chirped.

 

"I'm not wearing any now, correct. That's why I'm not gonna turn on my camera, Jiminie!" I protested, not even his cute complaining noises helping him anywhere now.

 

"And if I turn on the camera?" He said and switched to FaceTime me, but I deadass kept my camera turned off.

  
  


"Jungkook-ah!" He complained, melting me with his contagious laugh and his cuteness

 

"Yes, Angel?" I asked innocently.

 

"So, when will I ever see your bare face? At least with your natural eye color!" He tried to make compromises.

 

"I have a bad skin, Jiminie.." I sighed in defeat, still not feeling ready to be so imperfect for someone so perfect.

 

"So?" He laughed. "Do you think I wouldn't kiss you?"

 

I grumbled and turned on my back, holding the phone above my head, while I watched Jimin.

"Maybe. I have scars and still outbreaks. I'm 24, not 14, it upsets me." I admitted, once again sighing. It was unbelievable how Jimin made me talk so honestly all the time. I looked at him for his reaction and although he couldn't see me, he looked at the camera, his cheek resting against his palm as he shrugged.

 

"I really don't care, Jungkook-ah. If you want, we can go and have a skin treatment together and make sure you use the right skin care products for your skin type." He suggested, surprising me the slightest. "My skin only gets irritated when I have too much stress, but makeup sometimes makes it worse for me. It's like it's saying 'Jimin, can't you see I'm suffering? Please let me breathe and take that paste off me!'" He laughed heartily, making me squirm on my bed while I felt my cheeks once again aching from smiling too much.

 

"I'd love that, Jiminie!" I just said. He kept taking my breath away, it was confusing.

 

"Good! Also... I'm afraid I'll be a bit busy for the next days, so I don't know when we can meet again." He pouted, playing with his fingers and nibbling on them.

 

"It's fine, Jimin. I'll miss you, but we can text and call, ok?" I tried to cheer him up. Of course I hated the fact of not being able to hold and kiss him for a while, but what could I do?

Jimin nodded, still pouting so cutely and came closer to the camera, before planting a kiss on it, leaving it stained with his lip care. He laughed and then used his sweater to wipe it clean, making me want to puke rainbows at how cute he was.

 

"I love ..your laugh!" I quickly saved myself from my outburst of emotions, only making him laugh more.

 

"I love yours too, hardcore bunny!" He giggled. "But I have to sleep now, we'll talk tomorrow ok?" He wanted to make sure and I agreed. We said our good nights to each other and then ended the call. It took me a while to move, his cuteness left me numb for a moment. I eventually got up to brush my teeth, asking myself repeatedly how I ever got so lucky and then went to have a peaceful sleep.

 

 


	24. Chapter 24

Days passed in which the two were unable to meet. They kept in touch though, texting and calling almost every evening, acting like teenagers. Everyone around them, apart from Seokjin was starting to doubt their sanity already, that's how emerged into each other they seemed. Nothing could convince Hoseok of Jungkook being a good match for Jimin, not even Seokjin defending the man. Jimin was immune to it, thinking his Hyung was probably just worried that he would neglect work and was unable to concentrate, but Jimin always gave his best.

Seokjin on the other hand was more and more convinced that it wasn't Hoseok's worry for Jimin's safety that caused him to be so skeptical of Jungkook, he thought it was a nasty trait every human had, some more than others, jealousy. For now, Seokjin kept those thoughts to himself. He waited to be proven wrong and that the two males would eventually get along once they had the chance to sit down and talk properly.

 

The band was stuck with promotions and preparations for their upcoming concert, leaving little to no time to do anything else but dancing and singing. Then there was the love-hate relationship Jimin had with sleep. It was either "sleep is for the weak" or "sleeping for a week", but he mostly he settled for the the first. Jimin preferred having the quiet night to himself, reading or calling Jungkook or Taehyung, than wasting time sleeping. How much he wished sleeping that much wasn't necessary. Without even realizing it, this boy kept ruining his health.

  
  
  


Jungkook was completely booked out and whenever he was free, he mostly spent time with Yoongi. It wasn't that Jungkook didn’t have other friends, he just preferred his grumpy coworker above anyone else. 

The two often were at the older's home where Yoongi had a small studio to record his music. He was someone Jungkook admired for many reasons: He was a great rapper, amazing songwriter, talented tattoo artist and a wise man. Not to forget that he was quite handsome as well, although he never had a deeper interest in anything that wasn't platonic. He was more like a mentor to him, someone he could learn a lot from. Yoongi had often tried to get Jungkook deeper into singing, doing more than the covers he never had the guts to upload, but he never made it further than convincing him to do a few lines in a handful of his tracks. Jungkook could make it far if he learnt how to use his voice properly, Yoongi was convinced of that. 

  
  
  


Apart from his music and tattoo buddy, Jungkook also managed to get a hold on his other close friend Yugyeom who just finished a small tour with his choreographers through Korea. After winning several dance shows, Yugyeom was one of the most popular and well paid dancers in South Korea. Jungkook wasn't surprised his friend was that busy with the courses and special events always fully booked. The two, however, were still as close as someone could be, even though they didn't manage to meet often. Yugyeom was Jungkook's ex boyfriend, to be precise, so it made him happy they were even able to establish a friendship, after Yugyeom gave up on their relationship. It had no other reason than concentrating on his dance career that the two ended up going separate ways. As much as Jungkook had tried to hold onto it and even tried having a long distance relationship for the time Yugyeom studied abroad, it was useless. All the responsibilities were apparently too much for the other to handle, but Jungkook had always been afraid there were other reasons, better said, other men, he just never had the courage to ask. However, it's been a year the two broke up and Jungkook was safe to say he was over it. That's why he didn't hesitate to tell Yugyeom about the new man in his life and in his heart.

  
  
  


It wasn't until two weeks later that Jimin and Jungkook finally had time to meet up, Jimin being free for two days. He could have packed his stuff to see his family in Busan, but he didn't want to. Visiting relatives was rather a cause than a relief of stress these days. He knew he couldn't just go home and spend time with his parents and brother, his mother would invite the whole family and they'd have a huge dinner, leaving no time for Jimin to relax from the social responsibilities he had. So he preferred meeting Jungkook. 

  
  
  


Jin once again played Jimin's driver and took him to Jungkook's apartment where the said male already waited next to his car. 

"Look at how hot he looks, hyung. I'm not into cars but it's a nice accessory to the man leaning against it!" The younger mumbled with a smirk, making Seokjin laugh. To be fair, he wasn't used to their maknae saying these kind of things. 

"He's handsome, I was surprised the first time I saw him. Not very fond of the piercings, but well."

"Hey, he's mine, don't look!" He quickly got possessive, only making him laugh more. 

"Jimin.. you could say I'm married, i only have eyes for Namjoon, you should know by now!" 

Jimin nodded with a pout and got out, waving at him.

 

Not forgetting about his promise, Jimin had booked a facial treatment for the two of them, something that has made Jungkook anxious ever since he was told about the "good news". Surprising enough for the younger, Jungkook still showed up with his full cover makeup, but left out the blue lenses. This alone made Jimin melt. He hurried over so Jin could leave and had a wide smile plastered on his face. How much he wanted to hug and kiss the taller male, but he couldn't. Jungkook, very aware of their limitations, stepped aside and opened the door for Jimin to get in which he quickly did.

"You look so good with your brown eyes!" The younger gasped, turning to face Jungkook as best as possible, after getting in the car and closing his seat belt.

"Thank you, Jiminie!" He shyly replied , flashing a grin towards him.

"Are you ok?" Jimin frowned. He thought to hear him lisp and that would be the first time. "Are you hurt? You were lisping, weren't you?" Worry flooded his face, as Jimin leaned over as if to check for the cause of it.

"I'm ok, yes!" Jungkook laughed and started the engine. "I wanted to surprise you, but I guess I failed." He turned around to face Jimin, bumping his nose against the other's cheek as he didn't expect him to be that close. Jimin must have unfastened his seatbelt to crawl so close.

"Surprise?" Jimin's eyes widened and sparkled in excitement.

Jungkook looked around for anyone to see them, but they were so hidden in their car, there didn't seem to be anyone. So he looked back to Jimin and what else could he do than showing him what the surprise was? Before doing so, however, Jungkook got lost in Jimin’s eyes. They were so different from their first meeting on set. They held so many emotions that he understood as curiousness, excitement and maybe even happiness. Was it wrong to feel proud? Was it wrong of him to believe that he was at fault for causing these emotions to rise within Jimin? 

Jungkook’s eyes travelled down to Jimin’s white and toothy grin and how his lips perfectly stretched over the pearly white rows. He must have bleached them shortly, Jungkook thought. Maybe it was even for the shooting. Only now Jungkook figured that he hasn’t seen Jimin in bright daylight yet, maybe that’s why he was so trapped in his beauty. He then leant in, placed his hand on Jimin's cheek, also to partly cover his face, before he pressed his lips onto the fuller one's. This time he didn't hesitate for long and slid his tongue between Jimin's lips who welcomed him. 

But feeling something weird, Jimin backed off and stared at Jungkook.

"You got a new piercing?" Jimin asked confused and reached out to tap Jungkook's chin in attempt to tell him to show him.

Jungkook was proud of it, yet worried Jimin might not like it, so his nod was hesitant, as well as him opening his mouth and sticking his tongue out for a brief moment, before he talked. "I didn't have time to change the length yet. It's too long, but it's healed."

Jimin blinked in confusion as he tried to look at it from all sides, before mumbling, "My god.. you surely can take a lot of pain." But his mood quickly brightened. "Let me play with it later!"

Jungkook swallowed hard as he was reminded of the last time Jimin played with his lip piercing and nodded. He inhaled sharply and unintentionally squeezed his own thigh near his crotch, before he then finally pulled the car off the parking position. There wasn't time to let his thoughts wander, even though the hand Jimin lied on his other thigh made it hard to control himself. Despite the wild thoughts running through his mind and the distraction the small hand was, he reached their designated location, parking his car as close as possible, so they could remain unseen, he hoped.

Jimin quickly led the older into the spa, a woman who seemed to have been waiting for their arrival, hurried to welcome them with a deep bow. Jimin had chosen the usual spa they sometimes went to and Jin had managed to get an appointment for the two that was two hours prior to the actual opening of the shop. Thanks to that, the shopping street was quite empty as well. 

It surprised Jungkook what kind of privileges celebrities had, but he wasn't going to complain about that. He knew that there was no normal life possible on Jimin's side, he just couldn't imagine how badly it would affect them. But Jimin was special and captured his heart, so Jungkook was willing to go through that.

Once both males were inside, they were lead to the spa area and asked to sit down. Apart from Jungkook never being to something like that, he guessed that the juice and water, as well as the champagne in the ice bucket and the little piece of cake that seemed to have (probably real) gold sparkles on top, were treats for special customers.

"You may choose between the normal facial spa and the special cleansing spa, mister." A young and pretty woman addressed Jungkook who insecurely looked over at Jimin. His brain was flooded with all the new things around him and now he had to decide about something he had no idea about. Jungkook’s eyes were big and pleading as he turned a little further to Jimin, hoping he would choose what’d be best for his skin and confidence, well aware that pleasing both might be a difficult task to fulfill. 

"The special one will make you look all red and swollen, but I'd recommend that. I will get it too, ok? We are here to help your skin." Jimin tried to sound encouraging, yet it was scaring Jungkook. He wasn't ready to look all red and full of pimples on their third date, but maybe Jimin would be disappointed otherwise.

"I.. Jimin-sshi," Jungkook started, rather going for the formal version as long as they were in there with the two ladies. "Isn't that.. gross, I mean.." How could he possibly say he was scared and not self confident enough for this to happen already?

Jimin could see how tensed he was and he really didn't mean to pressure the older. He would have loved to cup his cheeks and tell him he was beautiful anyways and that he didn’t care about pimples or not, but he wouldn’t let this happen. He reminded calm and collected, so none of the workers would have doubts they were something else but casual friends. 

"Go for the normal one, if you want to. But I really don't mind it, really." Jimin put his cutest smile on which melted Jungkook's heart.

Jungkook was torn between doing and not doing it. He shouldn't do what scared him, especially after Jimin enhanced that he didn't want to pressure him, but he couldn't help but feeling he owed him something. Jimin had arranged all of this after Jungkook admitted that he was embarrassed about his bad skin, he didn't want to give off the impression as if he didn't acknowledge it. Maybe it was one more step Jungkook had to go to convince Jimin that he was serious about this, about wanting Jimin.

"Ok," He then gave in with a sigh. "Let's take the purifying one then." He said, still not sure whether this was the right decision. But Jimin seemed to be happy, so it was going to be alright, right?

Before they knew, they both lied down on the comfortable beauty couches next to each other and each had their lady to take care of their faces. After being introduced to their treatment, Jungkook got his makeup taken off, before the treatment started. The women were professional, they were quiet, apart from asking one or two questions in between or preparing them for the next step, while soft wellness music was accompanying the session. Jungkook found it admirable how calm the girls were about treating the famous Park Jimin. Jimin's band was so famous, it was unlikely they didn't know who he was. At least it was impossible to him that someone didn’t know him. 

An hour later they were done and Jimin felt refreshed, even if his skin was burning, but he was slightly worried about Jungkook's wellbeing. After sitting up, he peeked over at Jungkook who's back was facing him.

"Please feel free to have a drink and a snack and if we can do anything else for you, you'll find us in the front." The kind lady said, bowed their respect and left the two alone.

"Jungkook-ah.." Jimin whispered.

"I'm not confident enough for you to see me like this." Jungkook whispered, making Jimin's heart sink. Now that Jungkook went through the process of purifying, something that sounded so nice, but ended up being so gross, he regretted doing it. How was he supposed to look at Jimin again? He found himself hoping Jimin had appointments soon, so he wouldn’t have to struggle all day or he might end up crying. He truly felt vulnerable and it was embarrassing. He didn't need to see himself to know how swollen his face was, even though he had a cooling mask to end the treatment with.

"Hey," Jimin got up and walked around the couch only to see the other having his head lowered enough for his black hair to hide most of it. "You're beautiful, no matter what." Jimin whispered and took his hand in his own, letting his thumbs caress the bigger hands.

It took some time for Jungkook to actually lift his head. Although Jimin had told him often enough that he didn't mind and Jungkook believed him, it didn't change the fact that he was embarrassed. Minutes passed in which Jungkook regretted to have taken the purifying treatment, as he still didn't dare to look up and Jimin didn't force it. The smaller let him rest his head against his chest instead and played with his hair, waiting for him to feel better and ready. And then after what felt like forever, by now Jimin's body was rushed by guilt as well, as he thought he was to blame for unintentionally forcing something on him, Jungkook moved.

"Can we eat that?" He pointed at the small piece of cake that wasn't even as big as his palm.

"Yes, you can have mine too, I don't like it." Jimin chuckled softly, thinking it was probably best to act like nothing happened.

Jungkook didn't hesitate and reached out for the plate, digging in. It looked fancier than it tasted, but it was still good. Not asking twice when it was about food, he also ate Jimin's piece and drank the water and juice. Jungkook wasn't one to say no to free food. Or well, in that case they probably paid for it.

Jimin, who still tried to get a glimpse of his face, was more interested in seeing his face without makeup than judging his skin condition. He was watching him with a wide smile while sipping his juice and waited for him to be ready to leave. 

  
  
  


When they went to the front, Jimin was again wearing his poker face, there was nothing left of his foolish smile that he normally had around Jungkook. "Do you think your skin care products are sufficient?" He asked, looking up at the taller.

"I don't know, I only use some normal cleansing foam and lotion for babies." Jungkook replied, holding his purse in his hands. They haven't spoken about how much it would be and whether or not they would split the bill. He was preparing himself for an horrendous amount of money, though.

"Give us the cleansing set for his skin, please. Cleansing gel, toner, day and night cream and a mask should be enough." Jimin spoke, making Jungkook want to cry. Jimin would make him poor with only a few bottles of beauty stuff Jungkook was still doubting he really needed.

"Jimin-sshi, we do-"

"Thank you, we'll pay together." Jimin suddenly was demanding which made Jungkook smirk. It was hot.

"Then we have a total of ₩356,500, please." The lady said, making Jungkook choke on his spit.

Jimin paid with his credit card, thanked them and dragged Jungkook outside and back to the car.

"Jiminie, what the fuck? That was expensive.." Jungkook mumbled on the way back to the car. "I can't make you pay for these products too.."

"Well, I just did, so what?" Jimin smirked when they reached the car and slipped inside, making the older sigh.

The way back was quiet as none of them said anything which was weird. And Jungkook couldn't help but to be worried about it. It felt weird to have someone younger paying for him. And then there was this weird twist in Jimin's behavior from soft to cold to demanding which left Jungkook confused. The silence started to bother him, but he had no idea what he could possibly say to not make it weirder. So Jungkook had one hand on the wheel, the other loosely in his own lap and concentrated on the streets.

 

 

(their spa)

(Jungkook's car)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for people coming from wattpad, I always updated short chapters there, but I try to sum them up into longer on here, so the numbers of the chapters are not the same.


	25. Chapter 25

** Jungkook's pov **

 

I still couldn't get over the fact that rubbing our faces for fifty minutes and torturing my pores cost ₩350,000. Shouldn't I be the one paid for the pain that caused? And then all these fancy things Jimin got me. He was the younger one, I was supposed to pay for things, not him. Although if I imagined what he'd earn per hour, it was most likely nothing to him.

 

Back in the car, I was still shocked about the ridiculous amount of money he just spent and insecure about my looks. I haven't even managed to look into the mirror yet, it would probably make everything worse. But the fact he wasn't talking to me and was weirdly serious was freaking me out as well. He had seen me by now, maybe he was ready to run away. 

  
  
  


** Jimin's pov **

  
  
  


I could tell that Jungkook was confused, I understood why. He was the older, it hurt his pride I was paying for him, but I was a brat at times, I couldn't care less. I didn't do it because I thought he wouldn't have the money, he had a seemingly good car, he didn't live in a bad neighborhood, his apartment was nice. He was wearing good clothes, he wasn't poor. But I wanted to pamper him, so I did.

 

While he drove back to his place, I still tried to figure out the best way of telling him how fucking attractive he was to me, even if I could see the scars and all the red spots he now had all over his face, but mostly in the cheek and jaw area. He was only human, too, who would have thought. Jeon Jungkook was fucking hot and I still had to hold myself together to not shove my tongue down his throat again.

  
  
  


**Jungkook's pov**

  
  
  


A twenty minutes ride later and we arrived at my apartment. I was a little worried whether Jimin actually still wanted to spend the day with me as he had been so quiet. Once I closed the door behind us, I kicked my shoes off and turned to look at him in worry. "Jiminie?" I asked to catch his attention.

 

"Yes?" He answered and suddenly his smile came back.

 

"Are we ok? You've been so quiet." I asked, looking down at him.

 

Jimin took his jacket off and put it to the wardrobe, before he turned to look at me, seemingly confused. "Of course we are! Can I wash my hands? And..use your toilet?" He then asked shyly, making me laugh.

 

"Sure." I nodded and opened the first door for him, switching the light on. "Want some tea or coffee?" I offered.

 

"Tea sounds great!" Jimin nodded and I walked to the kitchen, leaving him alone to take care of his business.

 

"Jiminie!" I yelled when the tea water was ready, me having no clue what kind of tea Jimin would like.

 

"Yes?" The voice was once again so much closer and I felt his warm and soft arms sneaking around my waist. Slightly startled, I jumped up a bit, my hand crashing onto my chest to prevent myself from a heart attack, before I then turned around.

 

"Could you not sneak up at me like this all the time?" I requested teasingly, but he only shook his head with a wide grin. I lifted him up and smacked his butt, something I've always wanted to do. It couldn't get worse than him seeing my acne, so I could as well stop holding back, I thought.

 

Jimin squealed and wrapped his arms and legs around me like a koala, hugging my head. "You know what?" He then whispered, but I could still tell that he was smiling widely. Leaving me no time to reply, Jimin continued speaking, "You're so damn handsome like this. I don't care about your skin being uneven or red, I don't care about your scars or acne, I fucking love your face. I could tell it made you insecure, but I think you should wear that face with pride, with or without makeup."

 

"Careful, I'm holding you.." I grumbled in response to his cheesy words, making him laugh.

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"I mean that you should be careful with what you say. You keep making me soft, I could lose all strength and drop you while I melt into a puddle." I warned him seriously, my words swallowed by the fabric of his pullover, as I still didn't try to free my head from his aggressive koala attack.

 

"You're weird!" Jimin laughed and loosened his embrace, his hand stroking through my hair with enough pressure to make me look up at him. "I'll stop being cheesy, but I mean it!"

 

I nodded with a smile that was supposed to show my gratitude and looked at him. Jimin already was covered in red spots, looking like Rudolf the reindeer with his red nose, I made a mental note to avoid all my mirrors for the remaining day.

 

"The tea is ready." I reminded him, teasingly squeezing his butt cheeks. "I have to admit that butt feels so much better than it already looks, man!" I held a laugher back, wiggling my eyebrows awkwardly.

 

"You're weeeeird!" Jimin complained again. But as weird as I seemed to be, he didn't seem to mind. He still didn't ask me to let go of him, didn't move enough to show me he didn't want to be held or paid any attention to the tea that I said was ready. Being weird seemed to be a good thing to Park Jimin.


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

The males grew more and more comfortable with each other.

 

Eventually Jungkook had to switch on the boiler once more, as the water cooled down too much when Jimin thought it was about time to stand on his own feet again. With their cups in their hands, the two settled down on the couch and Jimin asked for more pictures, as they didn't make it far last time. Sitting there remembered him of how quickly their kiss and playing with the lip ring escalated the last time and thinking about that new piercing, he thought it could probably turn into another make out session. That's why, for now, Jimin settled for smaller kisses, more innocent ones, while both of his arms were constantly wrapped around Jungkook's waist.

 

Only when their bodies started complaining and limbs getting numb, they readjusted their sitting positions. Jungkook took Jimin on his lap or let him sit next to him and took his legs over his own, while massaging his calves. They surely started to get domestic already.

  
  


The more time passed, the more Jungkook wondered about one topic: food. Whenever Jungkook had asked him, he would have said he ate or wasn't hungry, so what could he do? Five hours had passed since they met this morning, so even if Jimin would have eaten on the way, he should be hungry by now, Jungkook surely was.

 

"Jiminie, what shall we have for lunch?" He managed to ask when the rowing noises of his own stomach made it impossible to hide that he was starving.

 

"I don't know? Do you like to cook?" He asked, surprising Jungkook.

 

"I'm not really good at it, I'm just doing it to survive, I guess!" He laughed.

 

"Shall we order something then? Noodles? Or Pizza?" He suggested, making the older nod. He was at a point where he didn't care much about the kind of food anymore, anything would do.

 

"Pizza sounds good!" Jungkook agreed. "What's your favorite?"

 

"I think I'll go for chicken today!" Jimin nodded. And there he was with his worry hitting him. He knew that when he started eating, there was no way he could stop so easily. His mind wouldn't be satisfied until he ate everything edible in this apartment, so much, he wouldn't have any other choice than vomiting. Normally, when he ate with his band members, he would just go for a big menu and side dishes, then go to his room and continue with chocolate, chips, cookies and anything else he could get a hold of. He'd usually eat up to 2000 kcal within a maximum of one hour, before he'd force it out. He hated that step the most, but he wasn't able to hold it in otherwise. Once the need to eat vanished, it was replaced by a ridiculous amount of guild. ‘ _I shouldn't be eating. I don't deserve to eat. I'm fat. My cheeks are fat. I hate my body. I need to lose weight.’_

 

"Jiminie?" Jungkook asked, making him snap out of the vicious circle he already was trapped in again.

 

"Mh?"

 

"I asked which size you wanted." Jungkook asked, holding his phone in front of the other's nose.

 

"Oh... the biggest, please." Jimin just nodded, once again surprising Jungkook.

 

A few taps later the pizzas were ordered. The auto fill option made it easier and once he was done, he put his phone aside and put all his attention back to Jimin.

 

"Are you ok, angel?" He wanted to know. Something seemed to occupy this pretty head.

 

"Yes, Jungkook-ah.." he chuckled in response and adjusted himself on top of the older, straddling his lap. "I just remembered. I wanted to play!"

And with the most innocent of all chuckles, Jimin cupped Jungkook's cheeks and pulled him in for kiss that quickly became as hot as the previous one that took place on this couch. This time, however, Jimin was well aware of what his actions would do to Jungkook. Within a matter of seconds, their tongues played fetch, gasps and small moans filled up the room.

 

Jungkook lost it when Jimin once again sucked on his tongue. He had tried so hard to keep his arousal to a minimum, to not show it, but he felt challenged by the other's behavior. "Jimin, fuck!" He groaned, making the smaller pull away with his full lips parted and wet. They were even pinker from all the kissing, sucking and longing for more. Before Jimin could lean in again, Jungkook pulled him closer just to meet his neck with his lips. Jimin's skin was soft and warm and sweet like honey. He could still smell the skin care products on his neck, so he refrained from licking it and trailed kisses down to his collarbone instead. The small hands roamed Jungkook's thick hair, massaging his scalp ever-so gently, while he enjoyed the attention. His head tilted to the side, giving Jungkook more access, while shivers continuously ran down his spine.

 

Jungkook's hands traveled south, until they reached the hem of Jimin's fluffy sweater to lift it just enough for him to slide his hands beneath. For once the were neither sweaty nor cold, they were warm, his veins prominent, when he placed them on the other's hips, his thumbs caressing the skin gently. Jimin's softness was beyond Jungkook's understanding.

"You're so damn beautiful, Jiminie..." he whispered against the smaller's hot chest that moved heavily with every breath.

"Do you mean it?" Jimin whispered, looking down at Jungkook.

Their eyes met, both darker than usual, hooded and full of lust and adoration.

"I swear I mean it!" Jungkook supported his words with a strong nod and flashed a smile up at him.

„Bed..." Jimin then suddenly whispered, surprising himself and Jungkook.

Jungkook stared at him, as if he waited for a confirmation that this really was what he wanted. A reassuring smile from the beauty in his lap was all he needed to get up with his arms wrapped around his frame and he carried him to the bed where he slowly and carefully lied down between his legs. Jungkook wanted to be extra careful with him, taking baby steps to not scare Jimin off. But the further they went, the less sure Jungkook was about how innocent Jimin really was.

 

"You're the most handsome man I've ever seen, Jungkook.." Jimin whispered, making Jungkook snap out of his thoughts. Those words were unexpected and in fact made him fluster.

"Oh my!" He gasped in response, shaking his head in shyness.

"I mean it!" Jimin cupped the older's cheeks to pull him into a deep and slow kiss, his hands wandering below Jungkook's shirt, pulling it up until Jungkook allowed him to slide it off his body.

"I want you~" Jimin whispered, his nails gently scratching over Jungkook's back.


	27. Chapter 27

**Jimin's pov**

 

As soon as Jungkook's shirt was removed, my eyes fluttered shut at the little kisses he was planting all over my neck. I leaned my head to the side, willingly giving him more room to drive me insane. Only when I couldn't feel his lips on me anymore, I opened my eyes to catch him staring down at me, but it wasn't intimidating at all, rather irritating. Irritating because I have never been looked at like this before. His deer like big eyes were warm, sparkling more like stars reflecting in water and his gaze was loving. It made me feel warm and fuzzy in my chest, yet I couldn't tell what it meant, not even sure whether I had to that very moment. 

 

I reached my hand up to stroke through his hair once, looking at his bare face without it being half covered by it, a content smile on my face. It seemed like the arousal was forgotten for now, as we both just looked at each other. I took notice of every feature of his face from his sharp, thick and perfectly angled eyebrows that, once visible, made him look oddly serious, over his prominent nose that was slightly broader than the distance between his eyes, to his perfectly shaped lips of which I loved the upper one the most thanks to the beautiful heart shape. Jungkook's nice tan, the jawline that looked like I'd cut my finger touching it and the little moles, one on his nose, one right next to his lip piercing and the few scattered over his cheeks added the perfect finish to his beauty. It was breathtaking - he was breathtaking.

 

"Are you ok, angel?" Jungkook asked amused, seemingly holding a chuckle back.

 

"Couldn't be better!" I reassured, flashing him a wide smile. 

 

"I am happy, then." He whispered, his gaze switching from my eyes to my lips, while I took the time to let my hands wander over his upper body, loosely letting each of my finger slide over his nubs. Only then I realized that I discovered another piercing, this time a ring with a little silver ball that was not perfectly in the middle. Thinking about Taehyung's words, it suddenly didn't seem too unrealistic that his dick really might be pierced. 

 

As if his piercings would bring out the cat in me, I couldn't keep myself from playing with them. As carefully as I could, I turned the ring back to it's place, but then couldn't stop. Totally emerged in what I was doing, I didn't even pay attention to Jungkook's reaction and compared both nipples just to figure that only the pierced one was hard. I smiled sheepishly, kept tugging at the ring ever-so gently, while my other hand started to tease the other nipple as well. Only then Jungkook caught my attention by the deep groan that escaped his throat. When I looked up at him, I saw him biting into his bottom lip and as soon as our eyes met, our lips followed and crashed against each other. We soon were back where we had left before I told him I wanted him, now he was the one who sucked my tongue gently. I only pulled it back in reflex, not used to the shiver followed by a tingle in my abdomen, causing me to be fully hard by now, even if I wasn't even touched yet. Quite embarrassed about that, I wondered whether it was best to stop, but Jungkook, who must have felt it by now, made me forget about my worries with the very first roll against my hips that left me moaning and arching my back. 

 

A few more moves of his hips and Jungkook moved back, gently pulling me up with him. We kept our eyes locked, almost as if he wanted to make sure to not miss any hint of doubt or worry in me. But his attentive gaze convinced me even more that he was the right one and I didn't see a reason to wait any longer. Before I knew, my pullover was gone and I was left shivering without his warmth. Jungkook leaned closer again, my hands wandered instinctively back to play with his hair, while he pressed me back against the mattress just to continue where we've stopped. That was until I heard the doorbell ringing that made me unintentionally clasp onto him in surprise. 

 

"Our pizza..." Jungkook sighed.

 

"Oh.." I whispered and reluctantly let go of him just to miss him the very second he left the bed. The good thing was I could watch him and his cute behind as he didn't even bother putting his shirt back on, to my liking. I was able to get a good glance of his well trained body and admired the way I saw his muscles dancing while he was walking to pay the pizzas with which he came back two minutes later. I put my pullover back on, but didn't want to miss one chance of looking at him, admiring the front once more when he walked back to me. And that's when I also noticed the obvious bulge in his pants that I barely felt through the thick fabric of our jeans. I decided it would be quite weird to continue though, considering the amazing smell that spread through the apartment. 

 

"Let's sit at the table, babe!" Jungkook reached his hand out for me and I took it right away, letting him pull me. 

 

My stomach was twisting and turning in anticipation to finally get food and it didn't take long for my boner to be gone when my mouth was stuffed with delicious chicken pizza. My brain also decided food was the better option and apparently the only kind of satisfaction my body needed at the moment. 

 

Jungkook on the other hand seemed to have a harder time. With him sitting next to me, I had a good view on the bulge that didn't seem to want to get less anytime soon. And even though my brain was so into getting more and more food, I couldn't stop imagining how he would look like naked, how it would look and feel like. Quite inappropriate of me. 

 

-

 

The pizza must have had more than a 30cm radius and while I planned to keep the half of it for dinner to at least seem like a normal person, I stopped when only one small slice was left, while Jungguk had finished his smaller pizza.

 

We kept ourselves busy by talking about this and that while also watching some random show in television, while I was starting to regret to even have one bite. I will gain weight. I will look fat and ugly. I felt gross. I felt worse for feeling like that in Jungkook's present while this man really did anything for me and because of that, I tried my best to ignore the thoughts that threatened to eat me alive and to keep it inside. But the more time passed the quieter I got and the harder it got. After almost an hour I excused myself and went to go to the bathroom where I fought with myself for another five minutes, while staring at the toilet, just to lift the toilet lid and kneel down. 

 

Well done, Jimin.


	28. Chapter 28

** Jungkook's pov **

  
  
  


Here I was, nibbling on my pizza while I could still feel Jimin's hands playing with my body, his lips on mine. It still left me feeling electrified and needy. And as hungry as I was, I would have preferred a good release over a hot pizza. I scolded and reminded myself that I still wanted our first time to be special and so I got used to the fact that I would have to be more patient and distract my mind with the TV until my blood would leave my abdomen and my jeans would stop feeling so uncomfortable tight around my crotch. 

 

This time I took my time with the food. On the one hand I was too aroused I lost part of the appetite, on the other hand I vividly remembered the last time Jimin stopped eating when I stopped, although I had the feeling he wasn't done. So I took breaks in between, eating slowly to not make him feel rushed. I also didn't watch him or commented on the pace or way he ate. And when he finished, I was surprised to see only one piece of the huge pizza left. Slightly impressed, I refrained from voicing my thoughts. There was still this feeling that something about his eating behavior was wrong. He didn't seem to eat often, but when he ate, it was a lot. I wasn't in the position to ask, not wanting him to feel admonished about it.

 

As much as I hated sneaking around and spying on people, after Jimin said he had to go to the toilet, I followed. I waited for the door to be locked from the inside before I got up and slowly walked to the door. I couldn't put my ear right against it as all of my earrings would make a sound, so I listened as closely as possible with a little distance. It was a weird thing to do and I was disturbing his privacy, but I would leave the moment I would hear him pee or fart or poop, I really didn't mind, as weird as it sounds. What I heard, though, was nothing. A little bump against the door, I realized he must have been leaning against it. The longer I waited, the more I questioned my sanity. What was I even doing here?

 

A few minutes have passed and I tiptoed back to where I sat before, calling out "Jiminie, you're ok?" muted the TV for a moment and waited for a response which came quickly.

 

"Yes, hyung! I guess the pizza was too greasy, sorry!" Was said back and I heard him chuckle in what I assumed to be embarrassment. 

 

Not buying it, I went back to the door. When the pizza was greasy, why don't I hear you shit? Then there was a noise, it could have been the lid, but I wasn't sure. I was ready to leave, but waited for what followed. But what I heard was not what I wanted to hear. At first I wasn't sure whether those were gagging noises, but I was, when I heard the distinctive sound of someone vomiting their soul out. Once was enough, I couldn't take it. I walked away, staring at the one slice of pizza that was left and ate it. I was so full I couldn't even inhale properly anymore, but I had to. What I was trying to prove myself? Well, I begged for the pizza to be awfully greasy that any healthy human would feel nauseous and throw up. I wasn't surprised to figure it tasted completely fine. 

 

A moment later I found myself on the balcony with a cigarette lit, me inhaling the toxic smoke. Yes, it was me who scolded Yoongi about smoking, I hated it, I will always, but I cannot deny there is some satisfaction in it, something that eventually even helps me calming down. This definitely was a moment I needed something to calm myself down. It was the second time Jimin was eating around me and the second time he came up with a lame excuse to vomit. I didn't need a third time to understand what was happening here, but I was still hoping for something that would convince me otherwise. Could it be he really just had a sensitive stomach? Maybe what we were doing made him feel so much that he started to feel nauseous? But then again the amount he ate, it didn't sum up. 

 

When I heard the door opening behind me, I regret that I even eavesdropped on him. I couldn't pretend everything was fine, but I had to. The moment I felt his arms wrapping around me it didn't even feel impossible anymore. 

 

"Are you ok?" I asked again, turning my upper body and wrapping and arm around his shoulders. 

 

"Yes, sorry." He said again and flashed an apologetic smile up at me. 

 

I couldn't even be mad at him, even if I knew he was lying straight to my face. I've missed his angelic voice.

 

"Hyung..." He said, making me wrinkle my nose in confusion to the way he was addressing me. I hummed, telling him to go on. "I didn't know you smoke." He sounded disappointed.

 

"I don't, only when I need to calm down."

 

"Why do you need to calm down?" He asked with big innocent eyes and walks around me to look me in the eyes. 

 

"I.." Shit. Why can't I fucking shut my mouth? "Sorry, I was just horny." It wasn't a lie after all.

 

"Can I help you with it?" Jimin offered, smiling at me.

 

I hated to say no, but I did. It was too awkward, also, didn't he tell me he had to take a shit? "I thought you had to..?" I left it unspoken, just quirking my brow up at him.

 

"Eh.. no.. I thought I had to. I ended up just warming your toilet for nothing." He laughed, blushing a little and throwing the force of his body against me. It still felt wrong.

 

"It's fine, Jiminie, let's save it for another day, alright? Where I look less like a tomato for example." I tried to ease my own tension with a joke, smiling softly. 

 

Jimin bit his lip and nodded softly. I could tell he wasn't feeling good, whether it was the nausea he still must be feeling or a disappointment about me turning his offer down. 

 

I decided to quit the cigarette after only a few drags and Jimin complained when I kissed him. I, on the other hand, smelled his minty breath and asked for a chewing gum so I would get rid of the taste and smell. We went back inside, February wasn't a weather to stay out for too long. When Jimin handed me the chewing gum I took it and that's when I saw all that I needed to have a confirmation. I took his hands in mine, my thumbs rubbing over his knuckles. There was an obvious mark of his front teeth in the skin of his index finger, proving me that he was forcing himself to it. I didn't mean to be obvious, I didn't mean to show him I knew, but it made me so sad, it hurt and I unintentionally squeezed his hands in reflex and sighed, before I looked up at him. That's when I saw that he knew I knew. I didn't say anything and just cradled him close in my arms. 

  
  
  
  
  


The rest of the day was quiet. It needed some time for us to break the silence. We returned to bed to cuddle in all possible positions, watched movies and snacked on some popcorn I got for us. I was happy he agreed and it seemed like it stayed inside this fragile body. 

 

It was already late when we were cuddled together on the couch and ended the movie we've been watching for the past two hours. I felt him falling asleep on my chest. His head was getting heavier, then the little twitch his body made, followed by a small whine and steady breathing. I wasn't as bored as him of the movie and finished watching it in good company, which I still considered him, despite him being asleep. 

 

However, I knew I had to call Seokjin-hyung, so I picked up my phone and tried to be as quiet as possible. 

 

"Mr. Kim-" 

 

"Call me Seokjin, kid." He huffed. "What's the matter?"

 

I chuckled softly. "Seokjin-ssi, Jimin is asleep on my chest, do you want to pick him up?" I asked, whispering. 

 

"He's free tomorrow, why don't you sleep with him? I mean, well... consent is important, kid. I meant to ask if it's ok if he's sleeping over at your's?"

 

I laughed a little, but cut myself off as I realized my chest was moving too much. "I would love that. Anything I should know of?"

 

"Have you had sex, yet?" He bluntly asked and I was glad he couldn't see my stare or blush.

 

"Uhm... no. Why?"

 

"Be gentle for his first time. I shouldn't have told you, right?" The regret came quickly.

 

I snorted. "I think he wouldn't like it if he knew. But I sensed it."

 

"So you've been there already?"

 

"Hyung, aren't you a little curious?" I snickered. 

 

"Not just a little, I'm like his mom, tell me."

 

Well, that made me shut up. "I- what? You're not even a woman and I wouldn't talk about sex to Jiminie's mother!"

 

"Jiminie.." He chuckled. Why was everyone making fun of me calling him Jiminie? "Well, you know what I mean. I care a lot about my boys."

 

"We made out a few times, wanted to go further, but then the delivery guy brought our pizza."

 

"Bad timing, I guess." He laughed.

 

"I guess so. I am ok with waiting as long as I have to. He's worth it, everything." I whispered.

 

"Do you love him?"

 

"I do." I didn't need to think about it.

 

"Did you tell him?" 

 

"No."

 

"Why not?"

 

"I don't want him to think it's the idol I love." I whispered in an even lower voice in case Jimin was awake, but he released a soft snore, before mumbling something incoherent. "It really is not. He's just one of the most genuine men I've ever met, it's easy to fall for him in a heartbeat."

 

"You don't have to convince me of anything, Jungkook-ah. I just want Jimin to be happy."

 

"Me too." And I want him to be healthy. 

 

"Good night, Jungkook."

 

"Good night, hyung."

  
  
  


Not daring to move, I ignored the fact I had to go to the toilet and forced myself to sleep in this awkward position. An hour or two passed and I woke up to a confused looking tired Jimin with a puffy face and strands standing to all directions. I could get used to that. 

 

"Mh?" He made, looking at me through only one opened eye, while he rubbed the other with his little fist. 

 

"You fell asleep on me, angel. I called Seokjin-hyung. He said you can sleep over if you want to, so I let you sleep. Shall we wash up and go to bed?" I asked, my voice low and cracking from the nap. 

 

He nodded and moved back so I could finally get up, but I caught him staring down at my crotch, the only source of light being the dim light coming from the lamp next to the TV. Following his gaze I knew my dreams must have been wild again. "Sorry, I guess it wasn't comfortable.." I apologized with an embarrassed laugh and got up, but Jimin's eyes were glued to it, until I reached out for his hand. He took it and followed me. We were brushing our teeth together, I always had a spare toothbrush, and goofily watched each other in the mirror. I left him alone so he could empty his bladder to get the treatment we got in the morning and followed it with Jimin's help, while he just used the old face soap and some baby lotion afterwards. Then he left and I finally could pee. 

  
  
  


Coming back to the dark room, I saw Jimin standing in front of the bed, looking a little lost. "You ok, angel?" I asked for the nth time this day.

 

"Can you lend me a shirt?" He asked, his voice oddly low but high pitched at the same time. 

 

I nodded and grabbed two shirts, a black for him and a white for me, before getting a glass of water for the both of us to set on the headboard of the bed. I didn't know about Jimin, but I always liked to have water close. He took a sip and put it aside, but still didn't move with the shirt in his hands, while I stripped out of my jeans and shirt that I eventually put back on and into the white shirt that matched my white supreme boxers with the typical red hem. 

 

"Need help?" I chuckled, surprised he was nodding. I took the shirt off Jimin's hands and grabbed the end of his pullover, tugging it up and sliding it off his arms once he raised them up. I walked behind him, far more used to opening pants from this side and slid my arms around his waist to unbutton his jeans and slide them down his legs. I kneeled while making him step out, only noticing how close his butt was when I was about to get up. Admiring the perfect shape of it, I decided to blindly take his socks off, while I had to hold myself back from biting into what looked like an apple dressed in black very tight boxers. Unlike mine, his were so short, they would barely cover a normal butt. But for Jimin's, his perfect butt cheeks were sneaking out on the bottom. I didn't even need much imagination to know how it would look without the fabric. 

 

I figured I was lingering around longer than I should have, so I quickly got up and walked around the smaller to grab the shirt from where I put it. But Jimin climbed into my bed and sat in the middle of it, took my hand and pulled me on top of him. I guessed sleep was not what I would get now...

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so you can all tell it's gonna happen in the next chapter, duh. skip it if you don't wanna read it :3 also I am sorry for the odd angst/smut mix in this chapter. make sure to eat well and don't be so hard on yourself. if you ever felt like jimin please talk to someone about it and get help<3


	29. Chapter 29

Jimin's heart was beating heavily when he felt Jungkook lying down between his legs. This definitely is the closest he has ever gotten to anyone and it was an understatement to say he was nervous.   
Jungkook quickly took his own shirt off, leaving the lovers with their warm skin pressed together on the bed. "Are you cold?" Jungkook asked, wanting to be sure Jimin was relaxed and happy all the time. And as he nodded, Jungkook fiddled with the duvet and covered himself with it. Although the air conditioner was supposed to heat the room, he knew well it sometimes wasn't enough, especially on a chill and windy day like this. 

Jungkook looked down at Jimin the whole time, any sign of his sleepiness gone. One side of his face was tinted in a soft orange, his golden hair made Jungkook question whether he was dreaming. The porcelain skin that calmed down from the treatment it got in the morning was flawless and soft, his dark brown orbs sparkling in so many ways he felt like looking at a new kind of rare and extremely expensive gemstone. His lashes were so long that every blink of his eyes felt like an attempt to seduce him, his perfect little nose and then the plump lips so soft, so full, so ready to be kissed. Jungkook leaned down to cup his cheek with his big hand, resting his weight on the elbow of his other arm, while he sealed their lips into a gentle kiss. The taste of mint still lingering on them, they quickly found their intoxicating rhythm again, and soon it weren't just their lips grinding against each other.

 

Jimin felt like it's been just a minute ago that he complained about being cold and now he started to feel hot and bothered beneath Jungkook and the covers. But for now, he couldn't care less. One hand was back into Jungkook's soft hair, while the other slid down to play with his pierced nipple, their tongues continued to lap against each other. Jimin would have never thought that all the metal in Jungkook would be such a turn on, especially the one that from time to time hit his teeth when their kisses got too wild. 

By now the younger was a moaning and gasping mess, his member hard from the friction the tight boxers caused that is barely able to keep it's content covered, begging to be freed. Jungkook pulls back from between the firm thighs and kissed his way down the slender body. It was time to spoil Jimin. He wanted to take his time after all, even if it would take all night. No rushing and knowing he was taking his virginity wasn't even the only reason. Jimin was too special to be just a quick fuck. His beauty, his character needed extra attention and appreciation, every inch of his skin deserved it and Jungkook was willing to provide it. His own needs were secondary. 

A minute later, after planting kisses on his pretty neck and prominent collar bones, Jungkook reached his well built chest that he now pampered in pecks, small licks and bites, making Jimin squirm to the foreign feeling. It was hard for the smaller to keep still or quiet, not that Jungkook would mind the latter. So while he felt his nipples being gently licked and sucked at, he arched his back slightly, his hands grabbing the sheets, then the duvet, then Jungkook's shoulders, before they ended back in the older's hair, where they were the most appreciated, anyways. Whenever he would paw him and gently scratch his scalp, Jungkook would release small sighs, a sign he was content and relaxed, Jimin loved it.

By now Jungkook had reached Jimin's abs, his mind going crazy about the simple fact that he was kissing the abs he drooled over so often on pictures. Quickly getting back to the there and now, however, Jungkook concentrated on the attention he was giving his love with his lips, hands caressing Jimin's legs to not neglect his lower body.

At some point Jungkook's fingers and mouth were about to meet in the same place. His lips were kissing his abdomen right over the hem of his boxers, while his hand slowly wandered over the inside of his soft but firm thigh to cup his bulge. 

Jimin was painfully hard by now. There was no room for worries, his mind totally gave up thinking and he was just groaning and gasping, enjoying every single kiss and touch. He felt extremely happy. His eyes were wet and if they were open, they'd probably leak tears by now. He had never ever felt so loved and cared for in his entire life.   
However, when he finally felt his length being touched, he shot his hips up in response, moaning louder. It felt amazing, to his relief, because honestly, Jimin has never been fond of touching himself.

Jungkook's eyes lingered on him the whole time, especially now that he was touching him. Then he looked down at Jimin, slowly to admire what his lips had kissed the past few minutes. Their hands locked, Jungkook thought it was best to hold them after they've been flying around aimlessly, unable to comfortably reach Jungkook's nape anymore, Jimin now managed to rest one on his hip bone while the other squeezed Jungkook's tightly. The way Jimin's wet eyes opened made him wonder whether Jimin was still part of this world or drifted off back to heaven where he came from. He looked breathtakingly beautiful and made the older literally hold his breath for a few seconds - the way he looked at him, the way his mouth opened with the little moans escaping his lips and his back arched when Jungkook traced the outline of his length. 

As pretty as the boxers looked on him, Jungkook pulled them down, making Jimin's dick jump up back against his abdomen. For a moment he stopped, looking down at what he just released and wondered whether too much pleasure would be inappropriate for Jimin's first time. 

"We can stop anytime, alright? Want to use a safe word or just say 'stop'?" Jungkook asked softly, averting his eyes to look back at Jimin, his hands stroking his thigh. 

"A safe word? Like... 'red'?" The smaller stuttered.

"'Red', it is." He nodded and smiled, before he leaned down again. Jungkook continued to plant kisses over Jimin's now exposed skin, all over the shaft and up to the tip of it. His tongue quickly followed, licking flat over it once, before his index finger helped to lift it just a bit for Jungkook to be able to slowly slide it into his mouth, still peeking up at Jimin, who replied with a loud groan that made Jungkook's own length twitch in response. Tightening his lips around the head, the older gently sucked once, as if he waits for permission to go on which he did as soon as the next moan followed. 

Only a few sucks and licks later and Jungkook could taste the precum in his mouth, wondering how long Jimin would even last, not that he minded. He'd never be one to be angry about it, rather flattered. The sooner he'd come, the more he'd enjoyed him, right?

Jungkook retreated only to hug Jimin and kiss him gently, unintentionally letting him taste what was left of the taste lingering in his mouth, before he crawls over to get a bottle of lube out if his drawer. 

"How are you feeling?" Jungkook used the moment to check on his love's wellbeing, while opening the lid and pouring a good amount on his fingertips. 

"Good!" Jimin gasped, inhaling deeply. "Jungkook-ah?"

"Jiminie?"

"Will it hurt? You're.. big, right?" His voice, moments ago so loud, was now barely audible.

"I will prepare you as best as I can and we can stop anytime, ok?" Jungkook said, smiling softly and reassuringly. He wanted to promise it wouldn't hurt, but all he could do was taking his time and making sure Jimin was relaxed. 

The younger nodded with a confident smile that told Jungkook he could go on. 

"It's a little cold, I am sorry." Jungkook warned him, before carefully bringing his lubed fingers to the prettiest butt he's ever laid eyes on, the only butt he wanted. 

Although he's been awaiting it, Jimin's body twitched at the feeling of the cold liquid being spread between his butt cheeks and he could only loosen up when he felt it getting warmer. Jungkook, in the meanwhile, spread kisses over the insides of his thighs, while he slowly rubbed his three fingers over him. 

"Come here, angel." He then whispered, took a big pillow to rest it against the back of the bed, before he gently lifted Jimin off the mattress by holding him bridal style. He sat down and leant against the prepped up fluff, his angel between his legs. Jungkook wanted to give him all assurance he could, as much closeness and pampering, so he wouldn't tense and get hurt.   
Jimin looked at him, the dim light now illuminating his face perfectly, making Jungkook's heart swell in his chest.

After just staring at each other for a whole while, Jungkook again warming up the lube and Jimin still letting little gasps out, they simultaneously move to kiss the other, lovingly and deeply, both giving their all into it. When their lips broke apart, mainly to Jimin being short of breath, the smaller rested his head against Jungkook's shoulder, while he held him tightly pressed to his body to feel right away in case he'd get too stiff.

But for now, Jimin was soft, even his butt was soft and Jungkook's thoughts drifted off to what Jimin would call weird again. Was he shaving? He was so so soft. But then again.. Jungkook shoved those thoughts aside.

He pressed kisses to the golden hair and temple, while he carefully pushed the digit of his middle finger which has been rotating around his entrance for the past minutes, into Jimin's tightness.  
The smaller one tried to breathe calmly, both hands held onto the strong biceps.   
Jungkook moved the other hand up to caress Jimin's cheek, planting kisses on his whole face to help him relax. When nothing but little sighs and moans came from Jimin's side, Jungkook started moving his digit, little by little going deeper into him. There was no need to rush and although his own length, boxers smeared with precum, was twitching from excitement when Jimin accidentally brushed his arm past it, he focused on Jimin. He did worry, though, whether he could make himself fit into Jimin, that's how tight he was.

Minutes must have passed, both have lost their sense of time, Jimin was a moaning mess in Jungkook's arms with three fingers inside him. Jungkook, on purpose, refrained from brushing his prostate, knowing well Jimin wouldn't last long and he wouldn't want him to come just now, worried Jimin might be too tense if he overstimulated him.

Jungkook was absent-mindedly kissing and licking along Jimin's collarbone, eventually sucking here and there with no intention of marking him, before mumbling against the pale skin, "You're so beautiful, Jimin.." Eyes only half opened, as he was watching him through hooded eyes, even Jungkook's cheeks were red from his arousal. By now it really got hard holding him back from touching himself, jerking off while fingering the men he fell for so quickly. But Jungkook's will was stronger, his brain still working perfectly fine, even if a lot of his blood was still in his abdomen.

"I want you." Jimin said for the second time today. His voice was cracking, interrupted by another whimper. "I also want to be with you.." He whispered, gently shoving Jungkook's hand away, so his fingers would slide out. Although the lack of them made him feel incomplete and empty, he sat on his feet and climbed on Jungkook's lap, cupping his cheeks. "I want you to be my boyfriend." 

That's when Jungkook's jaw dropped. "A-a-are y-you ser-ious?" He stuttered, surprising himself with it. Jungkook was none to ever stutter. The question was replied to with a nod and sealed with a kiss, which he could barely reply, it left him confused - and utterly happy. Jungkook couldn't get rid of the feeling that Jimin wanted them to be something official before they'd sleep with each other and maybe the decision to ask him was rushed through that, but he didn't mind as long as he wouldn't regret to have asked, once his mind was clear again. It's all he could ever wish for, to call this angel his.

"Can we go back into the position how we started?" Jimin asks, his voice so small Jungkook had to listen carefully, but he understood and followed his wish. It was easy to push himself up and lie Jimin into the pillow he grabbed along, stripping his boxers off, before settling down between his legs. 

"Are you ready?" Jungkook wanted to be sure and Jimin nodded, his hand briefly stroking over Jungkook's length, wrapping his fingers around it as if he wanted to touch what's going to be entering him in a second. But then, Jimin gave it a few slow strokes, making Jungkook moan in pleasure and harshly biting his bottom lip, his front teeth colliding with the ring in his lip.

Jimin watched him reacting to his touch and it made him proud to be the cause of his pleasure. He smiled cheekily, briefly biting his bottom lip, before he gasped again.

"I bet he's got his dick pierced" was what echoed in Jimin's mind. ‘Damn, how did you know, Taehyung?’ Jimin snickered, tracing his fingertips over the two small piercing balls on the bottom side right beneath his tip. The size of Jungkook still worried him a little, but was equalized by the excitement to feel that piercing.

"We can stop anytime, you remember the safe word?" Jungkook cooed, lips now tracing over the other's cheek.

Jimin nodded. 

Then Jungkook looked at him, hovering over him with his arms to each side of the golden strands, locking their eyes, before leaning in for a kiss that spoke for itself - love, admiration and devotion. When Jungkook felt Jimin melting beneath him again and knew he was distracted by the kiss, he took his own member to brush it over Jimin's butt, rubbing his entrance, before he slowly added a little pressure to penetrate him. The plump lips he was kissing stopped moving, instead they were shivering as he released a loud moan, his hands tightly grabbing onto Jungkook's strong arms, leaving the other wondering whether he was in pain or pleasure. 

He stopped instantly, using both hands to support him, while he pressed small kisses all over his neck and chin, helping him to relax. The firm thighs that were tightly pressed to the elder’s sides seconds ago loosened, as well as the grip on his arms. Jimin's breathing steadied and he only bit his lip softly, his eyes closed, head tilted to the side.

Jungkook was studying every little movement of Jimin's face, trying to grasp every twitch to really make this a good and painless experience to him. When he felt the tightness around his member relaxing a bit, he slowly pushed in deeper. The smaller one moans again, louder the deeper he got, but there was no sign of pain on his face. Once all the way inside him, Jungkook was now resting on his elbows again, kissing Jimin while breathing heavily. He gave him all the time he needed to adjust to his size and once the smaller opened his eyes, he took it as a sign to move. Starting slowly, Jungkook lead the way and Jimin's hips joined the rhythm. Being such a good dancer, it wasn't hard to. 

Jimin couldn't have wished for someone better to lose his virginity to. Not only was Jungkook so handsome and talented in many ways, he managed to captivate the younger's heart so quickly by the way he made him feel - safe, taken care of, loved and protected. He felt sorry about not giving him closely as much attention as he received and he would try to make up for it somehow, but for now, he was on cloud nine. He's never felt better in his life than with the beautiful feeling of their bodies melting into one. 

The room was filled with moans of the lovers, Jungkook's low and quiet, harsh breathing and panting more frequent than actual words or groans leaving his lips, Jimin's louder, whimpering, trying to muffle his voice with the back on his hand, only to have it taken back by Jungkook who wanted him to let go, make as much noise as he wanted.

After Jungkook felt that the other was completely adjusted to his length and moves, the tease in him took over, curious about how good Jimin's stamina was. He gently pressed Jimin's thighs towards his upper body, the silent request was followed immediately and the younger held his legs close to his chest, eyes open to look at Jungkook. The taller male slid his arms beneath Jimin's shoulders, hands both burying in his hair to hold his head up just enough to kiss him. And with that perfect angle, his knees spread to the sides, he started rolling his hips again, slowly, brushing the tip of his length against his sweet spot with every move. His big eyes were focused on Jimin's every move, not wanting to miss anything.

And Jimin moaned helplessly, his eyes repeatedly fluttering shut only for Jimin to open them again, his small hands on Jungkook's shoulder blades, his nails digging into the skin. Every thrust forced a moan out of Jimin, them gradually getting louder. It wasn't an unknown, but a rare feeling that built up in his body, fireworks about to take over.

Jungkook could see and feel how close Jimin was. The muscles around his member were clenching, pushing himself dangerously close to the edge. It asked for a lot of self control to not speed up his hips and chase his orgasm like he'd probably do with anyone else, but his boyfriend was his priority. He wanted him to enjoy himself first before Jungkook would allow himself to release. He wanted to spill the words, tell him that he loved him, but didn't want to seem like it's his dick talking.

"Jungkook-ah, ah-" Jimin's loud moan was what made him focus again. "I- I'm.."

Jungkook knew what he was going to say which came in handy, as the sentence was never finished. Jungkook's hips moved fast, only enough to hit that sweet spot over and over again. He felt the body beneath him tensing up enough to be unable to move, the thighs caging him, the nails digging deeply in his back he was sure it would leave marks. Being so close himself, the kiss quickly turned sloppy, lips just lazily dragging along, tongues follow. Then Jimin releases a final loud moan, his whole being shivering, thighs trembling but pressing against him even tighter, his back arched, his head turning from side to side. 

Jungkook let him ride out his orgasm, feeling the squirts of semen spreading between their hot bodies. It took Jungkook a total of two more clumsy thrusts to reach his limit. He collapsed on top of Jimin, his face buried in the crook of his neck, his hips still while he spilled his own come in the pulsating tightness. 

Jimin held him loosely, playing with his hair. He regained enough energy to keep his legs steady and kiss Jungkook's forehead while he smiled at the tickling feeling of being released into.   
Jungkook needed a bit to catch his breath and calm down, before he pulled out and rolled to the side, instantly grabbing Jimin to pull him close. The older grabs the duvet to cover the sweaty bodies, even if he was feeling hot, but he doubted they'd be awake for much longer and it was winter after all. 

"Thank you." Jimin whispered after a long pause. 

"For what, angel?" Jungkook asked softly.

"Everything."

Jungkook had no idea what 'everything' was, but he was too sleepy to ask. Legs tangled, chests against each other, the warmth radiating between them, the couple peacefully fell asleep.


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this story hit 1000 hits and I wanted to say thank you!  
> I also passed the 100 pages now (i had 180 at first until I realized I actually had copied the whole story twice lol)  
> i also wanted to encourage you to comment on the chapters hehe
> 
> hope you enjoy

**Jungkook's pov**

 

Right before I woke up I had this dream about Jimin and me: we were happily dating, crazy in love, but then I woke up in my dream and it was nothing more than a dream. But as soon as I opened my eyes, the blond messy hair tickled my nose and I felt Jimin's naked body cuddled up to me. With the widest of all smiles, I pulled him closer. Jimin didn't seem to bother, his angelic self still deep asleep. I remained in the bed for a few more minutes, before I got up, sliding the boxers back on from last night and lazily walking over to the open kitchen, yawning quietly.

 

I brewed some coffee for us and wondered what I could get for breakfast. I didn't have anything in particular which I always ate, mostly switching between things that didn't need preparation such as pastries from the close convenient store, cereal or toasts. Whenever I visited my family, I enjoyed the traditional Korean breakfast that I was way too lazy to prepare.

 

I rested against the kitchen counter while the dark brown liquid slowly found its way into the jug, arms folded in front of my chest, while I watched Jimin sleep for a bit. Figuring I should wash up a bit and use the toilet, I quietly closed the door behind me to finish what I had to, brush my teeth and wash my face with the fancy stuff Jimin got me. After drying my face, I took a closer look into the mirror. I looked surprisingly fresh, none of the usual Gucci bags under my eyes and my skin seemed to have calmed down. It looked clearer, even if some spots were still red and the usual pimples and scars, well.

 

When I got out from my morning routine, I walked back into a sleepy looking Jimin who looked at me with puffy cheeks and hair that once again stood to all directions. "Good morning, angel!" I greeted him with a wide smile that he replied instantly - and the sun rose a second time. I got us two cups of coffee, added too much sugar into mine and gave him his after making sure to prepare it how he liked it.

 

"I am going to get myself some breakfast, do you want something?" I carefully asked, sitting down on the bed next to him, sipping my coffee, Jimin doing the same. His smile faltered at my question, I expected that. Jimin avoided my gaze, looking down into his coffee as if it was the most interesting thing in the world.

 

"I won't force you to eat, ok? And if you ever wanna talk about it, I'm here. Do you mind me eating though?" I asked, my hand stroking through his hair in attempt to use my fingers as a brush and comb the sleepiness out of it.

 

"Please eat well! And thank you." Jimin quietly said and looked up at me for a brief moment. It was hard to guess what this look was, shame, regret, guilt? Definitely nothing positive. I gave his nose a brief kiss and got up again. I wanted to go for the fastest, so I got myself a bowl of Kellogs Frosties and poured a very generous amount of milk on top. I loved how sweet the milk was after eating out the cornflakes. I then went back to sit on my side of the bed and started digging in. I felt Jimin crawl closer with the mug in his hand, spreading my legs more to sit between them with the sheets still covering him, facing me. He was so pure and beautiful I felt like dying.

 

"So, tonight..," I started, making him come closer, his eyes widening as if I was telling a little kid a story, "do you regret what you've asked me?"

 

Jimin frowned, his brows furrowed. "What do you mean?"

 

"You asked me to be your boyfriend. Did you really mean it?"

 

"Silly, of course I did. You're so weird sometimes, Jungkook-ah!" He laughed heartily, coming closer to give me a chaste kiss to my lips.

 

"Damn, what a lucky weirdo I am." I said with a wide smile and stuffed my cheeks with more cereals. "And what again did you thank me for? For taking your virginity?" I was probably, definitely, going too far with teasing him.

 

Jimin gasped, his cheeks flushing in deep pink. "Ass! How did you know?" Jimin stared at me with big eyes, making me laugh.

 

"I just sensed it. I'm weird, but smart, it seems." I shrugged my shoulders and grinned at him.

 

"Are you suddenly a little too full of yourself after I gave you a label?" Jimin asked and suddenly, there was a little too much seriousness in his voice.

 

I backed off, emptying the bowl and put it aside, my smug face gone, replaced by a probably quite pathetic look. "I- no, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make it sound bad. I feel extremely honored to be the first one. I'm sorry, Jiminie." I apologized, but Jimin just laughed.

 

"Kookie, I was just joking!" He giggled and put his coffee mug aside as well, the sheets sliding off his body as he moved, leaving his crotch uncovered. But I was too confused about what was happening to be distracted by that.

 

"Oh!" I just exclaimed and stared at him.

 

"You're adorable." Jimin whispered and pinned me down on the bed, cuddling against me.

  
  
  
  


We spent the day inside, what else were we supposed to do? We eventually showered together, helping the other to wash places he could easily reach himself, made out and switched to the couch, as our play time left white spots all over my black sheets.

 

We agreed on cooking lunch together late enough it actually was rather dinner. It was fun doing it and less miserable when we combined our decent cooking skills. In the end it was quite good, though. We’ve made a lot. I figured Jimin needed to stuff himself properly before forcing it out, as sad as that made me. Eating with him was no fun. It hurt to see how it pained him. I didn't want to make him feel watched, but I couldn't help to look at him from time to time. Some seconds he looked like there was nothing making him happier than this dish, some seconds he looked disgusted as if he had to force the food down.

I loved food and I loved to eat, it has always been normal to me and now, with Jimin, I felt stupid for never even thinking about eating disorders. Not that I haven’t heard of them, obviously I was informed enough to sum up the bits to this picture, yet I was far from being an expert and I had no idea how to behave properly. I made a mental note to read more about it.

 

After a while I reached over to hold his hand on the table, it gave me the illusion of being any help or support. I found myself not really enjoying the food either, not under these circumstances. Naive as I was, I tried to come up with a way to help him and make him healthy. Maybe showering him in compliments would do? That was easy for me. I could easily talk a whole day about all the things I loved about Jimin. He would eventually believe it if I told him often enough, right? Well, it was worth a try. Or maybe I should really do my researches first..

 

When we were done, I cleaned the dishes and then pulled him up to hug him closely against my chest. Maybe if I would just hug him tightly enough for the next two hours, he wouldn't be able to even throw up? 

It was weird. I couldn’t relax, it was as if I was awaiting the moment he would get up and every little twitch of his body was an alarm to me. In the end I gave up and loosened my grip around his body. I felt him getting restless, not sure whether he was just trying to keep it inside for my sake or actually feeling nauseous or something like that. I kissed him softly, stroking his cheek. I didn't stop him when he left for the bathroom a few minutes later.

 

When he came back his breath was minty. He didn't look at me, knowing I knew what he has done. He didn't seem to be proud of it, to know that he was harming himself. That was good, wasn't it? He still knew what was right and wrong after all. Maybe it wasn't too late to save him.

 

I’ve prepared him a tea, guessing his stomach would feel upset, chamomile, to help him feel better, and pulled him into a big hug. And we stayed like this until he told me that Seokjin-hyung would pick him up soon. 

  
  
  


"I'm having the tour very soon. It starts in three days. I won't find time to meet you." Jimin explained when he was slipping back into his own clothes, still wearing my olive colored oversized sweater that was huge on his small frame.

 

"I know." I just said, watching him with mixed feelings. I hated to let him go. "I'll be there. Unlikely you'll see me." I laughed. I was lucky enough to get tickets for their opening and ending show in Seoul and even one concert in Busan. I've been looking forward to this for the past months, but with the dates so close, I also knew I wouldn't be able to see Jimin in more than a month.

 

However, his face lit up at my words which was enough for me, for now. "Really? You'll come?" He asked, smiling happily.

 

"Opening, Busan, ending." I nodded.

 

"Why Busan?"

 

"I'm a Busan boy, man!" I laughed, making him squeal.

 

"Oh god, that's awesome! Busan couple!" He giggled, throwing himself into my arms and I hugged him tightly.

 

I held him close, growing annoyingly sentimental about this goodbye, knowing how long it'll be to hold him again. Seriously, when have I started to actually be so clingy and emotional?

 

"Can I.. keep the sweater? Or just anything from you?" Jimin whispered against my chest and I was so fucking happy he asked. I've been staring at his pullover for the past minutes, asking myself whether it would be creepy to ask him to keep it.

 

"Sure, give it back to me next time I'll see you!" I nodded and kissed his lips softly. "Can I keep yours?"

 

Jimin nodded.

 

And that's when Jimin's phone rang and we knew it was Seokjin-hyung to pick him up. We kissed again, deeply, lovingly, before he gathered his belongings and I followed him to the entrance.

 

"I'll call you, ok? Take care, Kookie!" Jimin chirped, making me peck is nose again and again.

 

I nodded and Jimin was about to open the door.

 

"Jiminie?" I asked and he turned around with a sad smile. "I love you."


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> vmin finally talking again  
> jimin being hot af on stage making the bun weak  
> hoseok is jelly?

Jimin's pov

 

Seokjin was waiting in the car when I got downstairs. The confession Jungkook made left me speechless. I hated the fact I didn't reply that I love him too. I did, that was out of question, it just felt too early to tell him, but it still made me feel bad.

 

I quickly got into the car, fastening the seat belt, only greeting him with a brief "hi".

 

"Are you ok?" I heard Seokjin ask.

 

"Don't I look ok?"

 

"You look sad. And that's not your shirt, is it?"

 

"Let’s just leave, ok?" I looked up briefly to where I expected Jungkook's apartment to be just to see him looking down at me with a small smile. I formed a heart with my fingers, blowing him a kiss and his bunny teeth showed in his wide grin as we drove off.

 

"Jimin..." Seokjin tried again. 

 

"I fell for him, ok? I asked him to be my boyfriend and we did it..." I spilled out, followed by a long sigh.

 

"And is that a bad thing?" His voice clearly showed how confused he was.

 

"The bad thing is I am not going to see him within the next few weeks. He's coming to three concerts, but that's it." I sighed, leaning my head against the cold window in defeat. 

I wasn't used to this feeling. Sure, I've been lonely, but I didn't know it any better. There's a difference between being lonely because there's no one in your life and missing someone. But now, getting a taste of how it feels to be loved, I was getting greedy. And as soon as it was taken away from me, I felt worse than ever. Jungkook was stuck on my mind and being physically separated from him made my chest ache. As much as I tried to remind myself of the simple fact that I still barely knew him and that it was only the third date, my heart protested, making me think time was nothing I should worry about.

 

"Jimin?" Seokjin asked and judging from the volume of his voice, it wasn't his first attempt of getting my attention.

 

"Mh?"

 

"How was it? Are you happy?"

 

I smiled so much, my cheeks hurt. "I couldn't be happier. I mean I could, if he was here, but really. He's so good to me, I don't know what I did to deserve that.." I babbled only to feel a smack on the back of my head, causing me to pout in return. "Outchie.."

 

"Stop making yourself small, Jimin! You deserve the best and I am really happy it works out for you!" He scolded me in the softest way, only glancing my way from time to time.

 

I couldn't really say anything and went quiet for the way back. I fell back into daydreaming about my boyfriend and what we've done for the last two days, my pants growing uncomfortably tight at the thought of us being so close. It was still surreal that it actually happened and that it was beyond my expectations.

  
  
  
  
  
  


**3rd person's pov**

 

Jimin quickly adapted to his everyday life as soon as he entered his house. The tour was about to begin and the band was busy with last preparations. 

In between all the mess, Jimin found himself playing with his phone, of course his thoughts were once again stuck to his boyfriend. He made a mental note to browse the App Store for a reminder app that helped him with counting the days, but for now the calendar was good enough to mark the day: 2018, March 14th was the day they officially became a couple. 

Smiling widely, Jimin took one last breath of the chill air outside, before he’d go back into the venue. He awaited the spring with open arms. It’d really be a new beginning this year. The winter was over, even if it still was quite cold, but Jimin liked to believe that he wouldn’t face freezing temperatures and snow anytime soon again.

  
  


The next days flew by in no time. Jimin’s thoughts were revolving not only around Jungkook but also Taehyung. He and his best friend had not ended their last conversation in the best way and Jimin still had to apologize for that. Quite some time had passed already, so he finally had the courage to text him again.

 

 

___

 

Other than that, Jimin had tried to keep an eye on snacking some more, knowing well that big meals always ended with his head over the toilet. He wondered how he was able to hide it in front of his band mates for a year and didn't even make it a month with Jungkook. It scared him to the point he started to think about what he could do to get better. He was sick of feeling not good enough, not thin enough, the pressure he himself and the management was giving him was getting just too much. Maybe he should be honest with Jungkook, ask for his help. Advices on eating disorders on the fourth date, amazing idea Park Jimin.

  
___  
  


Jungkook, in the meantime, could barely contain his happiness, annoying the shit out of Yoongi. He rambled all day about how perfect Jimin was and emphasized the words  _ my boyfriend  _ whenever he could. And even while inking his clients skin he had a small smile glued to his lips. Yoongi was disgusted by the amount of happiness radiating from the younger, but if he was honest, he wished he could find his own Park Jimin one day as well. But as much as the older wanted to end him for being such a nuisance, he was wishing him the best. After all, he just wanted the younger to be happy. 

  
___  
  
  


The opening concert was a big day for all of them, the band and Jungkook. He was not just watching his Mr. Perfect from afar, dreaming about how it would be to talk to him, Mr. Perfect was indeed  _ his _ Mr. Perfect. It was as if what so many girls and probably boys around him dreamt about became reality for him. And for a moment he was imagining what glares he would earn from bragging about dating Jimin, not that he would ever risk getting ripped apart by scary and obsessed teenager. But the imagination was amusing him for the time he impatiently waited in his seat. 

 

Jimin, on the other hand, was even more nervous, knowing his boyfriend would watch the show. Against all plans, the preparations left him with little to no break and put his broken body under too much pressure that he ended up barely eating. Only on the evening before the show, Jimin managed to have a proper meal that he actually forced to keep inside, but it left him with cramps and pain in his stomach, so he couldn't even eat or sleep a lot. If Jungkook knew, he'd be disappointed, Jimin thought. However, all that lead to the idol not being in the best shape until adrenalin did it's job and pushed him successfully through the show.

 

Knowing his boyfriend was out there in the crowd, Jimin fished his phone out to shoot Jungkook a message, just to see all the notifications on his screen. Smiling to himself, he opened his messages to read them.

  
  
  
  
  


Jimin couldn't stop giggling at the messages he had gotten and he felt his heart racing. 

Having the status as a famous idol had it's advantages, given the fact that he had the staff he could order around, if he wanted. Jimin usually wasn't the kind of guy to boss around or ask for favors, but if it meant he could see Jungkook, he was willing to change that.

 

"Block E Row 3 seat 20, bring me that guy, please. Come up with something creative to not be obvious. Thanks, I owe you one." Jimin smiled at the young girl who has always been more of a friend than a random staff member. He trusted her the most with it.

 

"Ok, Jimin-ssi." She gave him a surprised look, but hurried to fulfill his order. Jimin, in the meanwhile, went to an empty room and sat down, grinning from ear to ear. Jungkook seriously was such a dork and he couldn't stop chuckling about the messages, as he reread them.

  
  


It took her around five minutes to even reach the spot and while the block was still waiting for the allowance to be let out, the amount of visitors too much to be led out all at once, she had to use her flashlight in order to even get his attention.

 

"Excuse me, sir. You know that filming is prohibited, please follow me." That indeed was the best she could come up with, but thought it might do. Fans were filming all the time, although it wasn’t allowed, but they were never doing much to actually stop it, apart from asking them to stop when they saw anyone.

 

"But everyone was doing it." Jungkook tried to play hard to get.

 

"Just follow me, sir." She said in a demanding voice.

 

And with an annoyed huff Jungkook got up and while being stared at, he made his way past all the girls and their lightsticks muttering a "I bet that's because I'm tattooed and pierced" under his breath, before following the woman. At some point he wasn't sure anymore if they were acting or not, so he was a little tensed when she hasn’t said another word.

 

Another five minutes later and she lead him to a room, bowing. "Sorry for that." She laughed cutely and then left.

 

Jungkook nodded and flashed a smile back at her. "Believed you for a moment." He admitted and once he was left alone, he knocked at the door, not sure how many people would be inside. He heard someone moving inside, steps and then the door opened, revealing his beautiful and sweaty angel whose eyes sparkled only more at the sight of Jungkook.

 

"Bunny!" He gasped, pulling him inside and quickly closing the door.

 

"Angel!" Jungkook smiled widely. Both were a little sweaty, Jimin for obvious reasons and Jungkook from standing shoulder to shoulder with girls, being a bit too enthusiastic when it came to shouting the chants along and finding his body dragging along to the beats.

 

Jimin threw himself against the taller, his arms wrapped around his neck as he pressed their lips together. It felt like forever since they haven't seen each other, although it were only four days.

 

"Someone missed me.." Jungkook whispered teasingly, but pulled Jimin closer to his chest, his hands caressing his lower back softly. He knew they only had a few minutes, so he was closing his eyes, enjoying him as much as possible in that short time.

 

"I did.. I'm not sure how well I'll do without you for the next weeks.." Jimin sighed and pulled back to look up at him, wiping the makeup from under his eyes that seemingly suffered under his sweating.

 

"I'm sure you'll do well, baby." Jungkook reassured him and Jimin was melting at all the nicknames he was getting. "Call me whenever you need me, ok? I promise to pick up." Jungkook really meant it. He made a mental note to give Jimin his own ringtone and always have his phone unmuted so he would know when Jimin was calling him and drop everything to answer that call.

 

"You're the best!" Jimin beamed in happiness.

 

"That's because I love you!"

 

"And I-"

 

"Jimin-ah!" Hoseok almost ran the door down and stood in front of the couple, staring in both disbelief and disgust towards Jungkook. While Jungkook, still wanting to get on his good side, although he knew Hoseok didn't like him, thought it was best to pull back, Jimin held tighter onto his neck, showing him that he wanted him to remain right where he was.

 

"What is it?" Jimin asked, a hint of annoyance in his voice.

 

"We should get going soon. Ten minutes." He said, his eyes scanning the way they were touching each other.

 

"I'm going to miss you so much, Bunbun!" Jimin whined and pressed his face against Jungkook's shoulder, his head only tilting a little to leave pecks onto his neck. Maybe he wanted to provoke Hoseok, he seriously didn't know, he just felt like showing his rapper how close they've become and that Jungkook was treating him well.

 

"I'll miss you too." Jungkook replied in a whisper that was only audible to Jimin.

 

Hoseok was watching the whole thing with mixed feelings. He hated this man so much it felt like his blood was boiling, so much, he felt like tackling him down, but he pulled himself together.

 

"We'll be waiting at the exit," were his last words before he closed the door a little too loudly.

 

Jungkook meant to ask whether everything was ok between the two, but before he could even open his mouth to speak, he felt Jimin's plump lips taking the chance for his words to spill. The taller male happily leant into another soft, yet passionate kiss that left him wanting more when they parted. Ten minutes, enough for a quickie. But Jungkook refrained from touching Jimin anywhere inappropriate, knowing that a quickie was not how their second time was supposed to be like. 

 

Jimin, in the meanwhile, was totally engulfed by the fear the thought of being separated from Jungkook caused in him. He had made it all his life without a partner and now thinking about not seeing him for three weeks scared the shit out of him? Jimin gave up understanding himself and instead closed his eyes to inhale the scent radiating from his tall and protective boyfriend that was, if he was honest, his own scent mixed with the strong but freshly showered kind of fragrance and a hint of sweat. Jimin himself knew he wouldn't smell much better.

 

"Shower!" The thought was barely processed and already slipped his lips. He had totally forgotten that they'd leave for the airport now and wouldn't check into any hotel within the next hours, so he should clean himself up and could as well use the time to be close to his boyfriend. 

 

Jungkook, still fighting with his head that gave him all kinds of fantasies, was taken aback by the sudden offer and swallowed visibly. "Uhm.. ok?" Who was he to turn Jimin down, after all.

 

Not having much time left, both had stripped their clothes off in no times, there was no time to make a scene of embarrassment for Jimin and once naked, they both snuck beneath the shower head, enjoying the warm water that soothed especially Jimin's tensed muscles. Ignoring how messy both looked with the remaining make up making their way into the drain, they kept sealing their lips with sweet kisses, until it was time to get off and dry themselves. 

  
  


"I'll see you around, I should probably leave before you do, right?" Jungkook then tried to make the goodbye as fast as possible and Jimin only nodded, his usually full lips pressed into a thin line, as he struggled to look at Jungkook. The older decided against the urge to ask Jimin why it was so hard on him and kissed him goodbye, flashed him a smile and reminded him of the promise to only be one call away at any given time. 


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I hate snakeu

**Hoseok's pov**

**  
**   
  
  
Finding Jungkook's instagram wasn't hard. So I was quick to google a picture along with his name and e voila found the blog. I hated this guy so much and for the longest time I didn't know why. Sleepless nights after I heard that the two were actually dating and Jimin even let this shithead take his virginity, I understood - Jungkook had what I wanted - Jimin. 

  
  
Was it too late to interfere? I've known Jimin for ages, it shouldn't be too hard convincing him that Jungkook is up to no good and make him fall for me, right? I just needed some good arguments that would help me.       
Scrolling all the way through the countless posts, I began to feel nauseous of having to see his face all the time. However, I stumbled over a few interesting posts of another guy a few months back. It happened to be Kim Yugyeom. And many researches and calls later I found out that the two have been dating. Now when it ended and why wasn't something I know, but I could make it sound a little more dramatic now, couldn't I?   
  
  
  
"Jiminie.." I started, but he only looked at me with a frown. He probably didn't like me using the same nickname as his boyfriend.   
  
"Hobi-hyung?"   
  
"You know about your boyfriend," damn, that tasted bitter, "you know that he has been dating someone famous before?" Honestly, I had no idea where I was going, but if I had to slide in a little lie here and there, it wouldn't harm anyone, would it? In the end I could make Jimin happier than this douchebag.   
  
"No, who?"   
  
I knew I was going on his insecure side, the plan started to work. "Kim Yugyeom." I tried to hide my excitement about the fact that this couple was soon to be over and I could have Jimin for my own.   
  
"I didn't know.." Jimin's voice was only a whisper when his straight posture changed, his shoulders sinking, rolling towards his chest as he now sat down in one of the chairs, looking quite pitiful.   
  
"He apparently ditched him just a few days ago." I stated, quite sure about what I was saying, even if it wasn't even the truth. There were still recent posts about this Yugyeom, but he also posted Jimin, saying how beautiful and shit he was. I didn’t know whether Jimin actually knew of his personal instagram, I was just hoping my plan would work.   
  
Jimin's head snapped up and he was looking up at me, eyes widen in shock and filled with tears. Well, maybe I went a little too far, but there was no turning back.   
  
"Do you mean he was still with him when we..?" Jimin's voice was trembling just like his kissable lips.   
  
"I think so.. I am sorry, Jimin." I spread my arms to offer him a hug which he gladly took. The smaller buried his face into my chest and soon the room was filled by nothing but silent sobs.   
  
It took me a few minutes of wondering whether what I was doing was okay until Jimin stopped crying. And when he looked at me with his swollen eyes, tears streaming down his cheeks and painful sobs stuck in his throat, I had to hold myself together to not lean in and kiss him, my cover would blow off otherwise.

 

“I’m sorry, I want to be alone.”

I just nodded and let go of him, my eyes following him until he disappeared in his room.


	33. Chapter 33

**Jimin’s pov**

 

I couldn’t believe what I just heard. I sank down in my bed and although I had stopped crying, as soon as my weak body hit the mattress, another stream of tears and sobs broke loose. Honestly, I felt like shit and never have I felt worse. 

Was it really possible that Jungkook had blinded me with everything? All the talks about his father, was I only supposed to think that he was a good man?

All the caring words and hugs he gave me, was it just to make me soft for him? Was all he wanted to get into my pants? Why was he even talking to me, I’ve slept with him already. Why did he tell me he loved me? Was he keeping me as his fuckboy?

It all didn’t make sense, but why should Hoseok-hyung lie to me? He would have double checked these informations before telling me. He wouldn’t want me to be hurt if he could avoid it. 

 

 

I didn’t have more time to cry about my miserable luck, it was time for rehearsals. My nose was running and my face puffy, but I hid behind my bangs and a big hoodie. The only thing I wasn’t able to conceal was my cracking voice. 

RM noticed and Seokjin was with us on tour as well, standing in front of the stage, but I didn’t give in and acted as if nothing happened. 

Staying focused that evening on stage wasn’t easy, but I managed. 

 

 

Back in my hotel room, I quickly forced myself to shower and then fell into bed. When I checked my phone, I saw all the notifications from Jungkook that only made my stomach turn.

 

Another river of tears flooded down my cheeks, knocking me out sooner than expected. I haven’t eaten anything that day, so I completely ran out of energy.    


 

 

 

 

\----One week later----

 

**Seokjin’s pov**

It was one of the few tours I was actually attending. My studies allowed me to have a break, but I still took books and my laptop with me to finish some homework. 

The band was just on stage when my phone rang. I was surprised to see Jungkook’s number on it, but didn’t take long to pick up. 

“Hey there, what’s up?” I greeted him. 

“Hyung, sorry to call you so suddenly, but I’m worried about Jiminie..” Jungkook sighed. 

I couldn’t miss the desperation in his words, so I sat up straight, worry rising inside of me. 

“What’s wrong?” 

“He hasn’t texted back in a few days already. He is reading the messages, but that’s it. He’s probably angry at me, but I don’t know what I’ve done, hyung..” 

I frowned when I listened to him, clueless just like him. But I would lie if I said I haven’t noticed a change in his behavior. 

“He didn’t tell me anything. But he was crying a few days ago at rehearsals. If I didn’t know better, I’d say he’s avoiding us, but why should he..” I frowned, getting up to pace around the room restlessly. 

“If he’s angry at me I probably deserve it, but I don’t want him to be on bad terms with you guys..” he sighed a few times. 

I really felt bad for Jungkook. He was suffering and I couldn’t even give him any sort of reassuring words. 

“You haven’t hurt him right? Jimin told me his first time was amazing.” I thought out loud, still trying to come up with a possible reason. 

“God no?! I was so careful and we were good afterwards! Last time I saw him was after the opening concert. We were completely fine then, too. I mean he was worried about being separated for a bit but we agreed on texting and phoning, like always. Then Hoseok-ssi came and told us they had to leave, so I left shortly after. But we’ve talked even after that.” Jungkook inhaled deeply after speaking for quite a while. I couldn’t miss how desperate he was. 

“Hoseok-ah you said?” I mumbled. 

“Yeah, why?” 

“Nothing. Jungkook-ah, I’ll talk to him, ok? I will get back to you if i know more, ok?” I tried to soothe his worries with soft words. 

“Thank you, hyung..” he exhaled slowly and for so long, I really confused him for a floaty. 

“Take care ok, try to not stress too much about it, ok?” I tried and then hung up. 

I didn’t manage to calm him down and I now was quite restless as well. Hoseok has been acting weird for a while now and something about the whole thing was fishy. I was pretty sure he had something to do with it. Who would I talk to first? Hoseok or Jimin? For now I had to actually wait for the concert to be over. 

A few hours later and we were in our rooms. I was happy I was actually allowed to share a room with Namjoon, while I was a little worried Hoseok was sharing one with Jimin. I could take the chance and talk to both, but I wanted to catch them separately. 

“What’s bothering your pretty head, mh?” Namjoon’s voice pulled me out of my thoughts and my head snapped up quickly enough for me to think I must have locked a nerve somewhere. Hissing in pain, I rubbed the spot in my neck only to have my hand replaced by Namjoon’s. He was clumsy in many aspects, but his hands were also pure gold when it was about writing lyrics, composing music or well, touching me. 

“Jungkook-ah called me.” I finally replied.

“How so?” Namjoon asked softly, scooting closer behind my back. 

“He’s worried because Jimin wouldn’t react to his calls or texts.” I mumbled in reply, his hands having me relaxed in no time. 

“And now what?” Namjoon whispered and replaced his hands with his lips that quickly roamed around my neck, his teeth grasping over my skin, softly biting me here and there. 

“Jimin was crying a few days ago, don’t you remember? I want to know what happened.” I said, nudging him a little in attempt to break free, but Namjoon’s lips were attached to my neck like magnets. 

“Breaking news, hyung: You’re not his mother. It’s not your business.” Namjoon mumbled and let out a breathy moan against my skin, while his hands pulled me closer against him. 

“Yah! Breaking news: Jimin is our maknae and his well being is more important than your boner now. He almost fainted yesterday, I doubt he’s eating enough, he looks pale!” I snapped at him and got up from the bed. 

Namjoon sighed defeated and pushed the heels of his hands against his eyes to rub them in what obviously must have been frustration, but I didn’t care. 

“So are you going to help me now or do you need to jerk off first?” I crossed my arms and tapped a foot on the floor while looking down at him. 

“Jin…, hyung. Don’t make it sound as if I am heartless. What do you want to do? And what do you want me to do?” Namjoo sat up and looked at me.

“I will talk to Jimin, you will have to come with me and get Hoseok with you out of the room and ask him about Jimin. You’re better at detecting lies than I am.”

“What’s that supposed to mean, why is Hoseok supposed to have anything to do with it?”

“He had never liked him, from the very beginning. I think he is jealous.” I shrugged. Maybe I was wrong, it was the first time I was actually voicing these thoughts. 

Namjoon was quiet, looking as if he was considering whether I could be right.

“So you think he’s into Jimin? Or Jungkook?”

“Yah! I thought you’re a genius!? Jimin of course!” 

“Well, it’s a little weird that he had never made any advances towards Jimin although he’s been around him for years. It didn’t seem impossible that he was interested in Jungkook instead, but the more I think about it, it’s more likely that it’s Jimin, if at all. Jimin has never really come out to us and maybe that’s why he never voiced his attraction or maybe he did and we just don’t know?”

I let him continue his monologue and sighed, shaking my head. 

“And I was worried you’re not thinking with your brain anymore.” I smirked and reached out for his arm. 

“Let’s go on a mission then. Let’s not make this too long though, I am tired.” Namjoon smiled softly and I wrapped my arms around his neck to pull him into a soft kiss.

“Thank you, Joonie,” I whispered against his lips, smiling softly. 

“Everything for you, Jinnie.”

“I promise to reward you,” I pecked his cheeks a couple of times and let my hands run through his unstyled and still damp hair, “...daddy.”

Namjoon groaned at his favorite nickname and cupped my butt with both of his big hands to pull me close, but I was quick to free myself, winked at him and then left the room with him.

 

 

 

** Jimin’s pov **

I missed Jungkook, no matter what I did. I couldn’t just call him and ask about this. I didn’t know what to believe anymore. If he would tell me everything Hoseok told me was a lie, would I believe him? If it wasn’t true then Hoseok had lied to me and the thought of anyone just lying to me like that made my head spin. 

The only one I knew I could trust with my life was Taehyung, so I messaged him.

  
  
  
  


I locked my screen and shoved my phone under my pillow. It would take Taehyung a while to get here and as it was late, I was doubtful he would even arrive before morning. 

While Hoseok was in the shower, I was sleep deprived and decided to call it a night. Unfortunately, people had other plans. Not a minute passed, before it knocked on the door. I groaned, but refused to get up, thinking they would probably leave soon, but no. 

“Jimin, are you going to open?” I heard Hoseok saying, after he turned the water off.

I just huffed and tiredly pushed myself off the bed, making my way to the door with wobbly and weak legs, that’s when the door of the bathroom was pulled open and Hoseok stood in front of me, wet and naked. I stared at him in shock, my eyes automatically scanning his body. 

“Oh, I didn’t hear you answering.” He said as if he didn’t mind and I quickly averted my eyes, blushing in embarrassment. 

“Aww, Jiminie, aren’t you cute? Maybe you chose the wrong one for your first time, huh?” Hoseok teased me, his voice was weirdly low and… seductive?

I gave him a hurt glare and bit my bottom lip to prevent my eyes from tearing up again, then I turned and finally opened the door. 

“Oh, were we… interrupting?” Namjoon asked, as he spotted Hoseok naked and then looked at me instead. 

Was everyone crazy today?

“Yeah, he was showering and I was about to sleep..” I replied, not even thinking about giving him the pleasure of teasing me. 

“I wondered whether we could go and buy some beer and snacks and have a drink together? Hyung wanted to do the same with Jimin.” Namjoon continued, looking at Hoseok again and he seemed quite unbothered by the other walking around naked, drying himself and getting dressed.

“I want to sleep.” I mumbled. 

“Good, sure. I mean I don’t feel like sleeping, yet. Surprisingly.” Hoseok laughed and Namjoon nodded with a smile. It didn’t take long for the both to leave.

With Seokjin standing there, I sighed and shook my head. “I want to sleep,” I repeated and actually made my way back to bed to tuck myself in once more.

“I know. I will not take long, Jimin-ah.” Jin said softly and followed me, sitting down at the edge of the bed. 

“Why do I have the feeling you don’t want to drink with me?” I frowned and looked up at him.

“Jungkook called me, Jimin-ah.” Jin’s voice remained calm, but I was shocked. “What is wrong with you two?”

I felt my lips trembling at the mention of his name, my eyes instantly teared up. 

“Hoseok-hyung told me he was dating Kim Yugyeom back when I met him. He said they only recently broke up which means he was still dating him when he slept with me..” I managed to press out, while I couldn’t hold the tears back anymore. 

Jin had reached his hand out to stroke through my hair the moment I teared up and was nothing but a resemblance of my mother who comforted me when I was little.

“How does Hoseok know?” 

I frowned and remained silent. I honestly didn’t know. I haven’t even asked him. “I don’t know,” I whispered. 

“Whom do you believe Jimin-ah?”

I sniffed, repeatedly wiped my tears away with the back of my hand. “I don’t want to believe Hoseok-hyung is right, but I’ve known him longer, he wouldn’t lie to me.”

“Has Hoseok ever made advances to kiss or touch you?”

I frowned an sat up, suddenly wide awake. “No! Why should he?”

However, his words and the way he looked at me replayed in my head. Hoseok and I have always gotten along, he must have been joking. 

Jin only nodded and cradled me into his arms. “I will find out who’s lying to you, Jimin-ah. Now please sleep, you need to rest.” he said and didn’t stop to caress my back. 

Soon my choked sobs were the only sounds filling the room and I soon after must have passed out. 

 

 

**Seokjins pov**

Seeing Jimin cry tore my heart apart and no matter who of the two was to blame, I would rip their head off. 

The day was long, so eventually I fell asleep at Jimin’s side, only waking up to the door opening, revealing a drunk Hoseok and a tipsy Namjoon. I frowned and sat up, careful to not wake up Jimin. Namjoon was quick to tuck Hoseok in and then reached his hand out to grab my hand and we left for our room. 

“What did you find out?” He asked while he walked to the bathroom to brush our teeth and I followed. 

“Hoseok told him that Jungkook was dating Kim Yugyeom when they had their first time and that they only recently broke up.” 

Namjoon turned to look at me through big eyes with his toothbrush stuck in his mouth. 

“Don’t e-n kno ha s-pppsed tkno dat” I mumbled under all the paste in my mouth. 

Quite unamused, Namjoon took the brush from my mouth, pointed at the sink and looked at me with raised brows. 

I pouted and spit the foam out. 

“And now again, please.”

“I don’t even know how he’s supposed to know that. He and Jungkook are far from friends, does he know Yugyeom?” 

“He might do so from one of the dance classes? I don’t really know. I don’t think they are friends, though.” 

I looked at him through squinted eyes, quite clueless how he could possibly speak so clearly while brushing his teeth. 

I just hummed and finished to then wash my face and we both changed for pajamas, before cuddling into the bed, not caring about the extra bed. 

“Hoseok told me he didn’t notice that anything was wrong with him and that he doesn’t know why Jimin could be sad. But the more he drank and he drank a lot, the more he talked about how Jungkook was not good enough for Jimin and how he couldn’t believe he was allowed to lie his filthy fingers on Jimin..”

“So.. that’s actually all we need to know, isn’t it?” I asked, followed by a sigh. 

Namjoon wrapped his arms around me and pulled me towards him, before I knew, I was lying flat on top of him. 

“We still need to figure out why he did that and talk to Jungkook about it, too.” Namjoon mumbled and cupped my butt. “You promised to reward me..”

His voice was low and teasing and went straight to my abdomen. This time I didn’t hesitate, pushed myself up off him and discarded his clothes quickly. 

I loved sleepy sex the most where we both couldn’t decide whether sleep or intertwining our bodies was more important. Slow and lazy hip thrusts, soft fondling, whimpers, quiet groans, sticky bodies beneath the duvet, falling asleep as soon as we hugged each other afterwards. 

 

 

 

 


	34. Chapter 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's wild

The night couldn’t have been any more different for them. Namjoon and Seokjin were sealing their love with slow and soft sex, Hoseok was snoring and drooling in his bed with the smell of alcohol radiating from him, Jimin was deep asleep, but tossing and turning, longing for his boyfriend who couldn’t get much sleep at all because he was breaking his head in two in attempt to look for any reason for Jimin’s behavior, while Taehyung had decided to take his car and drive all the way to Daegu in the middle of the night. 

Eventually Hoseok was woken up by his bladder. By the time he got up, he still felt the effect the alcohol had on his body. He felt lightheaded, as he stumbled over to the bathroom, but he still took a moment to wash his face and brush his teeth, before finding himself standing in front of Jimin’s sleeping figure. 

“You’re too pretty for him, Jiminie,” he whispered. He still felt lightheaded and daring. Hoseok crawled in Jimin’s bed and beneath the blanket, but the younger didn’t wake up. 

Hoseok might use the alcohol as an excuse later on, but he was sober enough to know what he was doing, he was merely encouraged by the liquid in his body. 

He turned Jimin to lie on his back and slid a thigh between Jimin’s legs, his lips quick to trail kisses along the exposed neck. 

Jimin shifted and whined a little, but didn’t wake up, yet. 

Hoseok then didn’t waste another minute and slid between Jimin’s thighs, bringing his lips to Jimin’s to kiss them. 

That’s when Jimin woke up. Shuffling displeased about being woken up, Jimin barely managed to open his eyes enough to see what was going on, but it was enough to see Hoseok on top of him, looking down at him through hooded eyes. 

“No!” Jimin wanted to scream, but his voice was cracking. 

“I’ll be so much better to you, Jimin.” Hoseok whispered and Jimin cursed himself for neglecting his health so much lately. He’s feeling weaker than he should and it asked for a lot of strength to actually push Hoseok off. 

The younger didn’t lose a second and ran toward the door and outside, down the aisle. He didn't want to risk that Hoseok could be following him, but heard no door opening.  

When Jimin ran around the corner, he bumped straight into someone and the crash would have sent him onto the ground, if that man wouldn’t have held him tightly. 

“Chimchim, what are you doing out here?” Taehyung asked worriedly, cradling his best friend in his arms. 

“Let’s Go back to your room,” he whispered and pulled Jimin along, a bigger black Gucci bag in his other hand. 

“No!” Jimin gasped, his eyes wide in fear. 

“O-Kay? Then let’s go to my room?” Taehyung asked in confusion and Jimin nodded. 

Once settled inside Taehyung’s room, he was glad about getting one in the first place, he dropped his bag and brought Jimin to the bed to make him sit down. 

“That Bad?” Taehyung asked carefully. He was wondering whether Jungkook could probably be there and Jimin maybe had ran away from him. 

Jimin shook his head. “Hoseok-hyung…”

Taehyung had expected more stories about Jimin’s boyfriend and patiently waited for the scared boy to talk. 

“He was lying on top of me when I woke up.. moving.” Jimin choked out, tears again pouring down his cheeks. 

“What the fuck?! Do I need to break two noses now?” Taehyung jumped up, fighting the urge to go into hoseok’s room and punch right into his face, but he knew Jimin was more important at the moment. He took a few breaths and then sat down again, hugging Jimin close. 

“Did he hurt you?” Taehyung carefully asked. 

“No..” Jimin whispered and shook his head. “Please, Taehyung. I just want to sleep. Can we?” He pleaded, but didn’t move. 

“Yes, chimchim, lie down, I’ll be right back” he cooed softly and Jimin crawled on top of the freshly made bed and beneath the duvet. He didn’t bother to fight with it and let the end remained stuck beneath the mattress. He felt secure like that. 

Taehyung quickly got ready for bed, made sure the door was locked and then slid in next to Jimin who had actually waited for his friend to join him, before bed close his eyes. 

With the warmth of Taehyung Jimin felt safe enough to allow himself to fall asleep again. 

  
  


\--------

 

Seokjin woke up with mixed feelings. The happening of last night made him feel fuzzy and happy, but then again there was their dried leftovers on their bodies. What made him feel quite guilty though was that he hasn’t called Jungkook back yet, even if only a few hours had passed since their phone call. 

So after taking a shower and drinking some water, Seokjin cleared his throat from the sleep in his voice, while he waited for Jungkook to pick up the phone. 

“Hyung!” 

Jin didn’t have to wait for long. 

“Hello Jungkook, how are you?” 

It should have been obvious to Seokjin, yet he couldn’t help the mother in him. 

“Well, haven’t slept much. Did you get to talk to Jiminie?” He was quick to change the topic to the essentials. 

“I did.”

“Hyung, I’m in Daegu, can I please see Jimin?”

“Kid, what the fuck..”

“I don’t even know where he is, but please?” Jungkook pleaded and Seokjin couldn’t possibly say no. 

“I’ll text you the address, but you’ll have to come and talk to me first.” 

Seokjin ended the call with a long sigh and sent Jungkook the location and his room number. 

  
\-----

 

Jimin woke up with a terrible headache, covered in a sheer layer of cold sweat. Taehyung was rubbing his side gently, that was probably what woke him up, Jimin figured. 

“Chimchim, are you sick?” He asked, his voice raspy and low, as he had just woken up himself, but the worry was already written in his face. 

„Cold” he stuttered in response, to which Taehyung only pulled him close. He was trying, but what could he possibly do with Jimin. Should he help him shower, should he let him sleep more or get him breakfast? For now he settled for a hug, but wasn’t sure whether that would help him.

At the same time Junkook arrived at Seokjin’s door. He knocked a few times and supported himself on his knees, panting heavily. 

Seokjin tried to not let him wait for too long and opened the door with a little nervous smile.

“Come inside.” The elder said, stepping aside and pointing at the unused bed. 

Namjoon was sitting at the desk, working with his headphones on his laptop, but he stopped when he noticed Jungkook entering and removed one side, so he could hear what was going on. 

“Hey man.” Namjoon greeted and Jungkook greeted back, although he was quite out of breath. 

As the male finally sat down, Seokjin gave him a glass water and sat across him on the other bed. Actually he was glad that he could have the chance to do this face to face. Even if he wasn’t a genius like his boyfriend, he could still look for hints in the younger’s reaction. 

Namjoon sensed that Seokjin was too nervous to even start, so he let go of his work for now and sat next to him, looking at Jungkook. He had never been fond of his  _ wife _ setting this whole date up, but he too noticed how Jimin was happier with Jungkook and quite devastated with the ongoing rumors. So he certainly wasn’t doing this for Jungkook, he had no negative feelings towards the other, but he hasn’t talked enough with him to be protective about him. He was doing this for Seokjin and Jimin.

 

“Were you dating Kim Yugyeom?” He asked, figuring it was much better to address the topic from another perspective than straight out telling him what the accusation was. 

“What?” Jungkook frowned, unable to understand what this had to do with Jimin. “Why is that important? Yes, Yugyeom and I are still good friends.” He then decided to answer truthfully, looking from one to the other in confusion. 

“Why did you break up?” Namjoon remained calm.

Jungkook still couldn’t comprehend. His thick and sharp brows were furrowed, his mouth slightly apart. But he thought he’d had no other choice than to tell them all they wanted to know if it helped to get Jimin to talk to him again. 

“Yugyeom went abroad for dance courses. He didn’t want a long distance relationship and said working on his dream asked for his full attention.” Jungkook explained and it was the first time he had said that out loud without it hurting. There was nothing in his chest and he knew why - Jimin had captured his heart. 

“So, when was that?”

Jungkook exhaled loudly, looking up at the ceiling thoughtfully. “Around a year ago, maybe more, I don’t really know. It was before he won all the competitions and all that.”

“And you are still friends?”

“Yes? I haven’t seen him in a bit, last time we talked I told him about Jiminie, though.”

Namjoon nodded and so did Seokjin. 

“Can you please tell me what this is all about? What does this have to do with Jimin not talking to me?” Jungkook still couldn’t sum it up.

“Someone told Jimin you only recently broke up with Yugyeom. After you slept with Jimin.” Seokjin finally said and Jungkook paled. 

“Wait you slept with Jimin?” Namjoon interfered, but only earned a slap on the back of his head for it. 

“Yah! I told you, yesterday. What’s with you?” Seokjin snapped, making Namjoon just mumble something incoherent and rub the spot. 

 

“Hoseok?” Jungkook asked, his voice firm and there was no time for honorifics. 

Both decided they didn’t need to answer with words and Jungkook jumped up. 

Seokjin was quick to follow.

“What room is he in?”

“Jungkook-ah, no!”

“What room, hyung?!”

“Jungkook-ah, don’t!”

“I will fucking knock on every door if you don’t tell me!”

“1078, bu-” He finally mumbled and Jungkook ran out the door. “-but Jimin is there, too.”

Jungkook was already gone by then, hammering at the door which was opened after what felt like an eternity to the raging man. 

Hoseok was sleep drunken, definitely regretting yesterday’s decisions, but he was quite unpleasantly surprised to see Jungkook in front of him. 

“What’s your fucking problem?!” Jungkook yelled at him, pushing him inside and Hoseok had a hard time catching himself from landing on his behind. 

“What is  _ your _ problem? Can you lower your annoying voice?” He groaned, the heels of his hands pressing to his temples. 

“Where does this rumor come from? Is that your work?”

Understanding what this is about, Hoseok’s lips tugged into an evil smirk.

It asked for the last bit of self-control to not punch him in his ugly face and the only thing that stopped him was Jimin probably not being fond of Jungkook being violent. 

“You are pathetic.” Jungkook groaned.

 

“Where’s Jimin?” Seokjin, standing in the door frame, asked, confused.

Only then, Jungkook’s mind cleared off the angry thoughts and he felt worry flooding his body once more. 

“I..don’t know.. he didn’t sleep here..” Hoseok quietly admitted, as if he himself had just realized that. 

“Hyung!” 

There suddenly was another voice coming from far down the aisle.

Jungkook stepped out to see who it was and followed Seokjin who seemed to be addressed by the stranger. Jungkook walked towards him slowly. He knew he had seen him before and he must have been a model or a friend of Jimin or both. But before he figured what the guy wanted, he had to defend himself when he walked up to Jungkook, taking off his slipper, daring to hit Jungkook with it. 

“Taehyung, don’t. It’s a misunderstanding.” Seokjin was quick to interfere, making the other stop with the shoe up in the air and as if he was considering to hit Jungkook anyways, he was staring at him through squinted eyes, but then lowered the slipper to put it back to where it belonged. 

“What did you want?” Seokjin asked and Jungkook took a step back, just in case this Taehyung would decide to attack him again. 

“I think Jimin is getting sick, he is shivering and really pale..” He mumbled, scratching his head.

“Where is Jiminie?” Being beaten with a slipper or not, his angel’s wellbeing was still his priority. 

“Yah!” Taehyung glared at him, but then remembered Seokjin had told him it was a misunderstanding, so he actually had no reason to act hostile towards the other. “In my room, 1034.”

Jungkook didn’t waste a second and ran past all the doors, almost missing the one he was looking for and Seokjin and Taehyung both followed, both not too amused to be rushed that much although they’ve only recently woken up.

Taehyung unlocked the door and Jungkook rushed inside, seeing Jimin lying in the bed, his eyes closed and his small frame trembling a bit. Jungkook’s heart broke. 

“My angel..” Jungkook whispered, but it was loud enough to reach Jimin’s ears. 

He peaked up and paled even more at the sight of his boyfriend there.

“Jimin, please. It’s not true, I swear! I’ve been dating Yugyeom, we broke up long before we met. Actually he left me for his career. We are good friends though, not more. He knows about me being crazy over you!”

Jimin wanted to sit up, but it felt impossible for his weak body. “Is it true what you’re saying?”

“It is, Jiminie! You could have asked me. I get that it made you angry, but I didn’t even have the chance to explain myself without you telling me, baby..” Jungkook’s voice was nothing but soft, all anger about Hoseok and his mischievous games forgotten.

“I am sorry..” Jimin apologized quietly, barely above a whisper. 

“Don’t be, Jiminie. I am sorry.”

Jungkook slowly approached Jimin, but as he saw no sign of his boyfriend being angry or scared to have him close, he kneeled down in front of the bed, his hands on the mattress.

Jimin smiled softly. 

“I love you, Jiminie,” He whispered softly, leaning in in attempt to kiss his nose, but Jimin tilted his head up to peck his lips instead.

“I love you too, bunny.” He giggled and Jungkook felt as if his chest was exploding, his cheeks hurt from smiling so widely. 

“Let me bathe you, alright? You don’T look good..” Jungkook said after a moment of silence and Jimin quickly nodded. He got up and turned around to Seokjin who had watched the situation with a satisfied smile. 

“I want him to eat something. A smoothie, some fruits, protein bars, bread.” He said, fearing Jimin had probably not eaten at all in the last days. 

“I can get some, I wanted to get breakfast anyways.” Taehyung offered.

“That would be great, I owe you one. Try to not bring anything that’s too heavy or sour on an empty stomach. No pineapples or sour fruits, rather bananas or something. And maybe some milk. Oh and if you add a banana milk for me, I’d love you forever.” Jungkook gave him a wide grin. 

“I’d love to see your dick piercing, but Jimin wouldn’t appreciate that, so let’s cross out the part where you’ll love me forever.” Taehyung said with a smirk, went to get his purse and left the room, leaving Jungkook staring in shock and embarrassment at the closed door only to then find Seokjin staring back at him as well. Knowing Jimin had told his friend about that detail of him both made him proud and flustered.

“U-uhm, I-I will leave you two alone!” Seokjin quickly said and had one hand at the handle when Jungkook said, “thank you, hyung. For everything.”

Seokjin nodded once and then left the room, leaving the couple to themselves. 


	35. Chapter 35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a bit more fluff for ya souls

Jungkook turned around and slowly approached Jimin, his arms wrapping around him to lift him up and carry him to the bathroom where he sat him down at the corner of the bathtub to carefully take off his clothes, after turning on the water to fill the tub.   
“I’d never do something like that to you, Jimin. I’d never lie to you.” Jungkook mumbled. He understood they haven’t been together for long, so it was obvious Jimin was insecure about it, but it still hurt that Jimin thought he could be that much of an asshole.   
“Yugyeom even was quite jealous of you all the time.” He admitted along with a shy snicker.   
“You must be joking?” Jimin laughed softly.  
“I am not.. I’ve always liked you in a way and whenever I’d comment on pics, he’d get jealous.” Jungkook laughed and soon finished undressing Jimin, neatly putting the damp clothes aside.   
“Bathe with me!” Jimin requested with a pout and Jungkook only nodded with a smile. He followed quickly and once both were naked, he helped Jimin to stand inside, while he slowly sat down and then secured Jimin to slide down between his legs, his back facing the older. The water continued running for a little while, Jungkook eventually adjusted it, making it a little hotter, before turning it off.

Jimin felt himself relaxing in his boyfriend’s arms, oh, how he missed his closeness. His eyes fluttered shut, as he was leaning against his chest, not caring about his hair getting wetter than they were from his sweat already.   
“I am sorry.” Jimin muttered, barely above a whisper. He didn’t dare to look at him.  
“What for?” Jungkook asked, his long fingers running over Jimin’s sides, almost as if he was trying to measure how much weight Jimin had lost in the meantime.   
“For believing him more than you.”  
Jungkook smiled softly, but shook his head. Not that the smaller would see that, but he’d certainly feel it, as his cheek was resting against his head.   
“A few weeks are nothing compared to the years you’ve known him. I am sorry that he did that to you.”   
Jungkook’s voice was as soft as it could be. Even if he hated Hoseok for his lies and bad intentions, now that he had his angel back in his arms, it was all that mattered.   
“I would have never thought he’d hurt me.” Jimin’s voice was cracking in addition and with it Jungkook’s heart. His arms around the pale boy tightened in attempt to spare him from falling apart from the effect the feeling of betrayal had on him. For a second Jungkook pondered on asking him about it and whether there was more to it, but he wanted to give him time and the chance to speak up himself.   
For the remaining time they stayed there still with the exception of Jungkook’s hands and lips wandering over Jimin’s body. Only when the water turned cold and their fingertips looked like raisins, Jungkook pulled the plug off the sink and helped them up to wash Jimin’s body.  
“Yah, Chimchim. Want your foo-” Taehyung almost ran the door down, having Jimin almost trip if it wasn’t for Jungkook to hold onto him tightly and instinctively grab his buttock, partly to cover him from Taehyung’s eyes as best as possible.  
“Well shit, sorry.” Taehyung mumbled, but he didn’t move one step. Most of Jungkook’s body, at least his most private part, was well hidden by Jimin’s body, but Taehyung still was able to have a glance on his upper body, the ring in his nipple, the rose tattoo fully exposed as well as both of his arms and the tattoos on them.   
Jimin and Taehyung had been best friends for years, but Jimin had always been quite reserved when it was about being naked and had avoided it as best as possible, so he ended up a little embarrassed.  
“What do you want, Taetae?” He asked with a small voice, peeking over his shoulder, so he wouldn’t reveal more of himself.   
“Wanted to ask whether you wanted food here, but I guess you’ve got better things to do.. I’mma leave for Jin’s room then.”   
A wide grin spread over his face that made Jimin want to slap him.   
“I’m not gonna touch Jiminie like that now, you don’t have to leave.” Jungkook interfered with a determined, but soft voice. Jimin was not in the state to have sex, he thought. He was too sick, too weak, even with his naked beauty in front of him and the lack of closeness, he didn’t give room for his arousal to spread.   
Jimin turned his head back to look at his boyfriend, a soft smile spreading over his face at how considerate he was.   
Taehyung just nodded and then slowly closed the door, the TV was turned on a few moments later with the volume loud enough for them to hear.  
“I think he doesn’t quite trust your words.” Jimin chuckled softly and made Jungkook laugh.   
After Jungkook rinsed the foam off their bodies, he got out first and then lifted Jimin up, gently letting him down before him to dry his skin with soft dabbing motions.  
“Let’s get you tucked in and fed, baby.” Jungkook whispered and held Jimin tightly against himself, his small feet swinging in the air.  
Complying, Jimin nodded with a wide smile, cupped his boyfriend’s cheeks and pressed his full lips onto Jungkook’s thinner ones.  
The big towel was soon wrapped around the thin frame and Jungkook once again lifted him up to carry him to the bed, eyes by a wary Taehyung.   
“I am quite hungry, so I just bought everything that looked good.” Taehyung informed him, pointing at the three bags that waited for them on the bed. “Don’t worry, I didn’t forget your banana milk, either.” Taehyung flashed him a wide smile and Jungkook could see why he was a model.  
“Thank you!” He smiled at him and carefully put Jimin down on the bed, before he walked up to his backpack to take out a hoodie, shorts and boxers. He carefully slid his boxers beneath the towel he had wrapped around his own waist and then the sweat pants, before taking the towel off. Jungkook could feel two pairs of eyes on him and while he was still quite shy under Jimin’s gaze, Taehyung’s made him feel a little uncomfortable - a best friend shouldn’t check him out like that, should he?  
“How come you’ve got only a few tattoos? Aren’t tattoo artists covered in ink all over?” Taehyung curiously asked and weirdly enough Jungkook felt a weight being lifted off his shoulders, as if his staring had an innocent reason behind it.  
“I don’t think you have to be inked all over. It doesn’t mean the more tattoos I have, the better I am. I do love them and I will add more for sure, but I want everything I will add to fit perfectly and to have a meaning.” Jungkook explained and was about to put his shirt on when two small hands tugging on it stopped him from doing so. Jungkook was met by Jimin’s big puppy eyes and he felt his heart swelling. Jimin surely would get anything from him with this look.   
“What is it, Jiminie?” He asked with a soft smile.   
“Want!”   
“You want what?” Jungkook had an idea it was about the sweater, but he just found his boyfriend so cute at that moment.  
Jimin tugged a little harder on the shirt.  
“Use your words, angel, I can’t read your mind.” He teased softly.   
“Can I wear the shirt?” Jimin finally asked and let go of it.  
Jungkook gave him a single nod and pulled it over Jimin’s head, the smaller sticking his arms out like a little boy while Jungkook helped him inside. The sweater fell down to the mid of Jimin’s thighs as Jungkook liked to wear oversized clothes as well, apart from being 183cm tall already, but Jimin seemed pleased.  
“Yes!” Jimin bounced on his heels, looking down on himself and his arms as if this piece of clothing was the best and most beautiful thing he’s ever worn in his life.  
Jungkook then took Jimin’s wet towel off his lower body as well and put the two towels over the chairs to dry, while Jimin didn’t even bother to put on boxers and sat back on the bed.  
“You two are gross.” Taehyung pulled a face, but even to someone who barely knew him, it was obvious he was joking, maybe even a little jealous. “You better make my Chimchim happy, I don’t ever want to see him like tonight again.” Taehyung’s voice then was a little more serious.  
“Will you slap me with your GUCCI slipper then?”  
“You can be sure I will.” Taehyung laughed.   
“Will you two stop now?” Jimin interrupted with a chuckle and made grabby hands at Jungkook who then sat against the back of the bed, Jimin soon close between his legs cuddled up to his torso. The blush on his cheeks made Jungkook smirk. He himself was thinking of the last time they sat in this position and what they have done then and the blush was proof enough Jimin thought about their first time as well. Clearing his throat, Jungkook tried to distract himself and grabbed the food - eating usually helped.   
Jungkook looked through the bags and pulled out a few things. He unpacked the tiny straw and stuck it through the hole of the apple juice, holding it to Jimin’s lips for him to take a few sips, which he eagerly did. Jungkook had expected that Jimin would take the package himself and drink from it, but Jimin was just looking at him with big innocent eyes, while the blush still lingered on his lips. His cheeks were hollow as he was sucking the straw and Jungkook wasn’t sure whether it was only him being too naughty or Jimin challenging him and teasing him on purpose. He gulped audibly and tried to act unfazed, well aware of the blood flooding his abdomen.   
The raisin bread looked good enough for now and he knew it was high on calories and carbohydrates, so Jungkook ripped a bit off the small pieces and held it towards Jimin’s lips, who directly opened them and took in it, chewing it. Jungkook stopped in his move and watched Jimin in awe. He looked so damn adorable with his puffy eyes and cheeks, his hair still damp and raveled and the shirt way too big for his heart to handle.   
Jimin repositioned himself and sat crossed-legged between Jungkook’s legs, one hand used to make sure the sweater was covering everything important, one hand on Jungkook’s thigh. Jungkook started to see a way to help Jimin to get better. Although they had just started eating, he thought Jimin was enjoying the food much more than usually. He was well aware that he couldn’t feed Jimin every meal of the day for the rest of his life, but if it would help him feel better about eating, then he’d try his best.  
Jimin eyed every move Jungkook made and took every bit of food offered by his hands with gratitude. Eating was easy like that. He had his boyfriend right in front of him and everything tasted so much richer than he could imagine. Maybe it was due to the fact he didn’t have proper food in days or unlikely, but very likely to Jimin, the fact that Jungkook’s hands made it taste better. He didn’t feel the urge to shove everything in his mouth and eat until he’d feel nauseous just now and it made him actually enjoy it.   
“You’re such a baby, oh my god. I didn’t think you were that much of a sub, Jimin.” Taehyung dryly commented and while Jungkook expected Jimin to flip a table at that comment, he just shrugged with a soft smile. 

 

Jungkook eventually stopped feeding him when he had the impression it was enough for now. Jimin’s instincts about food weren’t to be trusted, so he had to trust on his own. If he really was still hungry, it was better as if he’d run to the toilet. Thinking about that made Jungkook wonder whether Taehyung knew about his problems and he made a mental note to ask Jimin some day.  
For now he was just enjoying being reunited with Jimin and he kept his promise of not sleeping with him that day, even if he couldn’t get rid of the feeling that Jimin tried to seduce him.  
Taehyung, although he had imagined their first meeting to be different, had watched the couple closely throughout the day. He couldn’t help but to be protective over Jimin, but Jungkook pleased him quite well, he was perfectly taking care of Jimin, there was nothing he could possibly complain about.   
The three had lots to exchange and talk about until Jimin had to leave the city and say goodbye to his best friend and boyfriend.


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for posting the same chapter twice.  
> but still the same question: do you want slow development with more fluff, smut and angst, dates and people or more time skips?  
> also feel free to request either smut, fluff or angst and I'll add a chapter :3  
> also 2k hits on this, thanks for your support <3

**Jimin‘s pov**

 

I felt happy and sad at the same time. Happy because I saw my best friend and my boyfriend on the same day, happy because we were alright again and my boyfriend wasn’t the asshole I was afraid he could be. But I was sad to leave both behind and to find out that my own band mate, someone I considered a friend, hurt me on purpose.

 

Sitting in the car next to him felt wrong and weird. It wasn’t just the fact he told me lies about Jungkook and his ex boyfriend, he also forced himself on me and I didn’t want to think about what would have happened if I didn’t run away in time. I felt the need to talk to him about it, more like to yell at him and let him know how much it hurt and how much I hated him for what he had done, but I didn’t have the energy for it. I wanted to concentrate on the tour and that was what I did. 

 

I also tried to get better when it came to eating. I tried to eat more than one meal a day and keep myself from eating everything that I could get a hold of, but it was hard and there were still moments where I couldn’t help it. A good meal ended up in eating for three persons, just to flush the majority of it down the toilet. It was hard to face the fact that I lost control over my body like that. I wanted to stop, to be healthy again, but I haven’t even noticed how bad it had gotten. It all started to get clearer after Jungkook had seen right through me. Until then it was my body and my thing and therefore my problem but now I felt like I had to take better care of myself to be able to make Jungkook happy. I wanted to be a good boyfriend and I wanted to be normal again.

  
  
  


**Seokjin’s pov**

 

Harmony was really important to me and it was severely lacking at the moment. There was a huge wall between Hoseok and Jimin and I couldn’t even blame the latter, even i was disappointed in his behavior. Car rides were quiet, i volunteered to sit next to Jimin, so he didn’t have to be too close to Hoseok, but I couldn’t get rid of the feeling it wasn’t pure anger or disappointment Jimin was feeling. Had Hoseok done something to him? Namjoon and I needed a new plan. 

  
  


**Jungkook’s pov**

 

“You look happy. It must be heaven to date your ideal man,“ Yugyeom teased and I poked my tongue in the inside of my mouth, before breaking into a wide grin. 

“It  _ is _ heaven!” I gave him a nod, but sighed when I remembered the lies this ass of a J-Hope had told him. He would probably go as far as sneaking a paparazzi along who would take photos of me and Yugyeom to prove his point. Maybe I was being paranoid, but better safe than sorry, I decided against skinship with Yugyeom for now. 

“Actually his band member told him shit about me just recently breaking up with you. He made Jimin believe I cheated on you by being with him. I swear I want to fucking slap his ugly face.” 

Yugyeom laughed and shook his head. 

“You aren’t one to be violent, Kooks.” 

“I will stand up for my loved ones, even with my fists.” I shrugged and sipped my drink, before I continued twirling the spaghetti on the fork, I just really couldn’t get the hang of either of it - spaghetti and how to handle a fork the elegant way- but Yugyeom loved Italian food, so who was I to deny him a good dinner after a long time. 

“It was about time Bambam got you closer to him.” He smiled genuinely and was about to squeeze my hand, but I had pulled his hand before they’d touch. 

“Thank you. Sorry, I’m just really paranoid. I don’t know how far J-Hope would go, so I just don’t wanna take the risk.”

“You think he’d let people stalk you?” 

Yugyeom seemed quite amused by the fact. 

“Well it’s not like you’re not famous. Fans could make pictures of you, too. And I don’t want us to look like anything else but friends.”

Yugyeom looked at me in a thoughtful way, before nodding slowly. 

“I don’t want your relationship to be at risk, so it’s fine with me.” He agreed and offered a soft smile. 

“Good, otherwise Kim Taehyung threatened to beat me up with his GUCCI slipper.” I laughed as I remembered the hilarious situation back in the alley of the hotel. 

“Wait,  _ this _ Kim Taehyung?!” 

Yugyeom let go of his fork and looked at me with big eyes, his back straightened. 

“Uhm.. yeah? The GUCCI Model Kim Taehyung?”

“Oh god, Kooks! His number, please?” 

He bashed his lashes at me in a dreamy way, making me laugh. 

“Wait you’re into him?!” I laughed, forgetting about the food, this was more interesting. 

“Yah shut up, he’s hot as fuck, so please?” He once again bashed his lashes at me and what else could I do but giving in. 

“I’ll see what I can do, alright?” 

 

The rest of the night was spent talking about Taehyung and Jimin and how funny it would be when they could get together as well. 

 

———

  
  


Almost a month had passed Since I’ve seen Jimin the last time. I would lie if I’d say it was easy to me, the contrary, I hated it, seeing his face when we were FaceTiming but not being able to hold him. Having him so close with his voice in my ear, but not being able to hug him. I was sure I just had to get used to it, my love was strong enough to endure it, i was sure of that. 

  
  


If Yoongi wouldn’t be so damn patient, i would surely be dead already. He still had to listen to me whining about missing Jimin every two minutes. But as much as he hated me for being an annoying shit, I knew he still liked me. 

 

“Yoongi, can I ask you something?” 

Yoongi, Jiho and I were sitting in our room by the table to have our lunch break. 

“Jeon Jungkook, for fucks sake. No, I cannot tell you why Jimin-ssi is so fucking cute and hot and handsome. Get a life, boy!” He groaned and actually made me laugh. Fair enough, I’ve asked him that often enough.

“No, seriously. I think Jimin is sick.” 

“I’m not a pharmacy, either.” He groaned, rolling his eyes. “Get him a soup and some meds or something. He won’t die from having a cold.”

“I meant seriously sick as in an eating disorder, hyung.” My voice stabilized and had a painful amount of seriousness in it that made Yoongi stop chewing to stare at me. 

“How so?” Jiho added.

Jiho and me weren’t particularly close friends, but since he and Yoongi were, I was trusting him as well.

“His eating behavior isn’t normal. He says he’s not hungry but then eats more than me, says the food was too greasy. That’s how it started. I already saw the marks on his hands.”

“What marks?” Yoongi frowned and swallowed the bite he was chewing on for too long already. 

“When you force yourself to throw up, it mostly leaves marks of your front teeth near your knuckles.” I explained, showing him the spot I saw Jimin’s on on my own hand. 

He seemed mildly impressed and I wasn’t sure whether it was the matter itself or the fact I knew something he didn’t. 

“What did you want to ask me now? I know nothing about that topic, to be honest.” Yoongi said and looked almost defeated. 

It was cute seeing him like that. Him being the older, he always enjoyed the position he was holding for me, the one of an older and wiser friend I always reached out to when I needed help. It seemed like he thought he wouldn’t be able to help me probably for the first time in my life. 

“I want to talk to him about it, but I don’t know how. It’s a sensitive topic, obviously.” 

Both nodded. 

Jiho, looking at Yoongi, took the moment his friend was thinking to throw in his unwanted, but appreciated, opinion. 

“I’m not a therapist, I guess he needs medical help if he wants to get better. But you can’t force him, either.”

“You should read more about it, maybe come up with solutions of how it can get better and what you want to do. There should be some kind of guide what to do when a close one suffers from things like that.” Yoongi finally said. 

“You’re right. I hope my English will be sufficient to also read other articles. I’ve got the feeling Korea might not be too much into this topic…”

Both nodded and even though it wasn’t quite the same, we continued eating. 

As soon as I’d come home, i would do researches on the disorder and how to handle it.


	37. Chapter 37

to be deleted:

could you do me a favor? I am giving you the chance to influence the story a bit. 

go and vote please? it's anonymous, so maybe it's easier for the shy beans.

 

1.)   
https://www.strawpoll.me/15893703 

2.)  
https://www.strawpoll.me/15893714

3.)  
https://www.strawpoll.me/15893719

 

ps: I'll work on 'Broken' a little more within the next days, as there are some heavy chapters coming up for 'Rebirth' and I am not ready lol  
thanks for reading this!


	38. Chapter 38

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> thank you for voting, I will leave the links up for a bit longer so more people have the chance to vote, but for now it's clear you guys want a lot of fluff, so I will make sure to add a few extra long fluffy moments to ease your hearts from the pain. 
> 
> to avoid misunderstandings: quotes are in " " and italics, Jungkook's thoughts in italics.

Inhaling and exhaling deeply, Jungkook sat down on his couch after removing his makeup and washing his face with the products Jimin got him. He had to admit they were doing a quite good job. His skin felt fresher and looked cleaner as well.

He ran a hand through his hair and opened his browser. He _had_ to do this. He couldn’t ignore the fact that his love was suffering and destroying his own body. Why did he even feel so bad about this? His heart rate was beyond normal and his hands sweaty. Jungkook typed in ‘bulimia’ and pressed enter, for now he was looking for Korean results, although his expectations were quite low. He clicked on a newspaper article then, carefully reading.

 

* * *

_“Eating disorders, including both bulimia and anorexia, mostly occur in young women, particularly in adolescents.”_

* * *

 

 

“Well Jimin surely isn’t a girl..” Jungkook mumbled and continued reading the article by Jeon Hongjin. “Hi bro, please help me with my angel.” He quietly joked to himself when he read that they were sharing the same surname.

 

 

* * *

  _“Patients with bulimia tend to binge because they cannot control their desire to eat. After eating, they will “purge” in an effort to lose weight. Sometimes they will eat the food rapidly without even chewing properly, or hide from others when they are eating. These behaviors occur at least twice a week for more than three months in a bulimia diagnosis. These patients will immediately regret eating afterward, so will make efforts to lose weight by inducing vomiting, using laxatives or diuretics, or becoming obsessed with exercising._

 

_These patients also are conscious of their weight because they often think that they are overweight. Most bulimic patients tend to maintain a normal body weight despite repeated episodes of binge eating, but some may be underweight, or slightly overweight.”_

* * *

 

 

Jungkook read the lines aloud, frowning and pausing after half of the article. “So it has to last longer than three months for it to be a disease? Well that’s bullshit.” He groaned and leant against the back of the couch. _What if Jimin is not doing it for long, though? Would that make it easier for him to stop? Did Jimin really see himself as overweight?_

 

* * *

  _“Bulimia is thought to be related to problems with the neurotransmitters, including serotonin, norepinephrine and endorphins. In fact, the use of medications that correct these neurotransmitters can improve the symptoms. Bulimic patients often are goal-driven and frequently have anger-management issues, causing relationship issues with others. They often have mixed feelings (love and hate) toward those close to them, and have psychological stress when separated from them, which is thought to contribute to their bulimic symptoms. Many patients also have depression and may have a family history of depression. Therefore eating disorders are thought to be closely related to mood disorders such as depression.”_

* * *

 

 

Jungkook had to reread the first sentence, again groaning in annoyance. “Bro, stop being a smartass, I don’t understand shit here.” Jungkook mumbled to himself.

Oh, how much Yoongi would laugh at him for talking to himself like a madman all the time. “Anger-management issues”, “relationship issues with others” were what he was stumbling about. Did he have to prepare himself for these kind of things? Jungkook had to think back about the issues Hoseok had caused for them, but he quickly dismissed a possible connection to what he had just read. “Love and hate”, “psychological stress when separated from them”. Letting himself fall to the side, Jungkook stared at the blank ceiling and tried to maintain his calm breathing. He knew getting into the topic would be hard, but it already was harder than he thought. He immediately had to think back of the day of the opening of their tour and how uneasy Jimin seemed when they had to say goodbye. Of course Jungkook was sad too and he was already missing him while holding him in his arms, but already back then he wondered why it was that hard for Jimin. So it was stressing him when he is not with me? Jungkook smiled softly. Well aware there’s nothing funny or even cute about that actually, he still felt his heart bloom and wither at the same time. He really was important to Jimin, but the effect it had on his love wasn’t something Jungkook would ever want. Was he even good for Jimin then? Would Jimin be happier and healthier if they were not dating?

Quickly pushing these thoughts aside, he typed in “bulimia how to help a loved one”, this time going for English search results right away.

  


* * *

  ** _“Tips for talking to someone about an eating disorder_**

 **_Pick a good time._ ** _Choose a time when you can speak to the person in private without distractions or constraints. It’s also important to have the conversation at a time of emotional calm. Don’t try to have this conversation right after a blow up."_

* * *

 

 

 

Jungkook read the text aloud, thoughtful. He put his Macbook on the table, his elbow on his knee, his chin resting on his palm of the same arm. So no talking after he just threw up. Not when he was sad or worried, either. Jungkook nodded. “I’ve got this!” He said to himself, nodding.

 

 

* * *

  ** _"Explain why you’re concerned._ ** _Be careful to avoid lecturing or criticizing, as this will only make your loved one defensive. Instead, refer to specific situations and behaviors you’ve noticed, and why they worry you. Your goal at this point is not to offer solutions, but to express your concerns about the person’s health, how you much you love them, and your desire to help."_

* * *

 

 

“Is it not my point to offer solutions? Well.. okay then?”

He nodded, mentally noting everything important.

 

 

* * *

  ** _"Be prepared for denial and resistance._ ** _There’s a good chance your loved one may deny having an eating disorder or become angry and defensive. If this happens, try to remain calm, focused, and respectful. Remember that this conversation likely feels very threatening to your loved one. Don’t take it personally."_

* * *

 

Jungkook sighed and fell back on the couch for the nth time this day. Could he really, though? Stay calm in case Jimin would deny being sick? Would he deny it? His reaction wasn’t really that bad when Jungkook had seen the bite marks on his finger. But one realization finally settled in his head: He wasn’t some kind of magician, if Jimin didn’t allow him to help, he would have to watch him destroying his health. He was naive for thinking showering Jimin with compliments and feeding him would really help on the long run.

 

* * *

  ** _"Be patient and supportive._ ** _Don’t give up if the person shuts you down at first. It may take some time before your loved one is willing to open up and admit to having a problem. The important thing is opening up the lines of communication. Make it clear that you care, that you believe in them, and that you’ll be there in whatever way they need whenever they’re ready.”_

* * *

 

 

Jungkook nibbled on his piercing. His heart still felt heavy and his head started to hurt. The day Jimin had asked him to be his boyfriend was the best day of his life and dating him was still the best experience he had ever made. There were no words for how big his love was, even if he technically didn’t know him for too long personally. But he would lie if he said the years of being a fan of JRJ and running the Park Jimin fan account haven’t influenced his feelings. Yes, he has been in love with him before, there was no further denying it. But suddenly he felt like it all was unfair towards Jimin, Jungkook felt weak. Would he really be able to go through this with Jimin? Would he really have the strength for it? Was he good enough for Jimin? Was he strong enough for him? At the moment he clearly doubted that.

 

* * *

  ** _“Avoid ultimatums._ ** _Unless you’re dealing with an underage child, you can’t force someone into treatment. The decision to change must come from them. Ultimatums merely add pressure and promote more secrecy and denial._

 **_Avoid commenting on appearance or weight._ ** _People with eating disorders are already overly focused on their bodies. Even assurances that they’re not fat play into their preoccupation with being thin. Instead, steer the conversation to their feelings. Why are they afraid of being fat? What do they think they’ll achieve by being thin?”_

* * *

 

 

“How could I possibly say nothing if I ever hear him saying that he’s fat?” Jungkook groaned. This was going to be hard and nothing had ever asked for more self control than this. _Okay, Jungkook, you can do this much. If he ever says that, ask him about his feelings instead._

 

* * *

  ** _“Avoid shaming and blaming._ ** _Steer clear of accusatory “you” statements like, “You just need to eat!” Or, “You’re hurting yourself for no reason.” Use “I” statements instead. For example: “I find it hard to watch you wasting away.” Or, “I’m scared when I hear you throwing up.” “_

* * *

 

 

_Not you, but I, I can do that, too._

 

* * *

 

 **_“Avoid giving simple solutions._ ** _For example, "All you have to do is accept yourself." Eating disorders are complex problems. If it were that easy, your loved one wouldn’t be suffering.”_

* * *

 

 

“I saw it in his eyes that it wasn’t easy for him. I better never say shit like that.”

Jungkook continued reading through the article, the wheels turning faster in his head the more he had to remember and safely store in his old cells. Not only was it quite exhausting to read in English, but hey it seemed to be better than he had thought, he was also eager in doing a good job, being a good boyfriend. The perfectionist in him was striking, he didn’t want to make any mistakes.

After a couple of minutes, Jungkook closed his Macbook. He had to work on a tattoo for the next day and got his iPad out to sketch, while trying to remember all he had just learnt:

_The don’t’s: never force Jimin to anything, never make a comment about his appearance, never make him feel silly by making insensitive comments that sound as if his problems weren’t relevant or real, do not blame him for anything or make him feel bad, don’t speak badly of your own body, do not fight over food._

_The do’s: confront him when he seems mentally stable, be the soft bun he sees in you and be gentle with your stupid mouth, address your own feelings and use_ **_I’s_ ** _instead of_ **_you’s,_ ** _address his feelings when he speaks badly about his body, do not tell him that he is thin or not fat, be a good example when it comes to food, eat normally and healthy, make mealtimes as fun as possible, take care of yourself and don’t let your own world revolve around Jimin’s eating behaviors, you can only be a help for him if you take care of your own mental and physical health._

His brain was doing a better job than he had imagined and suddenly Jungkook was sparkling with hope. He loved challenges after all and this was his biggest challenge. He had just read that eating disorders are not a result of anyone’s failure and no one was to blame, he made it his life goal to make Jimin feel better. Maybe he could never heal him, but he could at least try his best. Yes, he could do that much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why I am telling you this in the first place, but I guess because I think (or hope) no one is reading this anyways, lol.  
> So this chapter took a lot of effort to write, but I kinda forced myself to it because I wanna continue with the story, so I had to get this over with. I thought writing this would help me getting over the past and my own issues with it BUT GUESS WHAT? Nope lol
> 
> tw? 
> 
> maybe it's good and actually therapeutic, but maybe triggering and making it worse? I srsly have no idea. My boss ended me while joking about something no one should ever joke about. he told my colleague who proudly told him she had lost 5 kg by eating very healthy that "sticking a finger down your throat would be easier, there's no easier way than bulimia". No, simply no. I do not want to whine too much about this now, just add that when I looked for comfort in my other colleague who kept asking me what was wrong (yeah you can guess I was triggered as hell and just wanted to go home but had an 8h shift ahead of me) I told her a bit about it and she said "oh but you are so pretty. you know people out there have cancer or diseases like that and we are here with our first world problems, complaining about a little bit of fat here and there". I wish it was only the concerns every girl had about themselves, it's not. It's in my head 24/7.  
> Two kicks in the guts in one day.  
> I guess why I am telling you this is because I really wish people would be more careful with their words and accepting of mental diseases. I do not mean to say depressions, etc. are worse than cancer by any means, but I HATE when people say physical problems are worse than mental. Do people understand how many people suffer without speaking up? Or how hard it is to pretend you're ok? Or to have the feeling there is no one you can talk to about it because they wouldn't understand, so you don't even try? Or even if there are people you simply can't talk about it? But mental problems are real and harsh and have a huge effect on your physical health too, I wish even dumb people would acknowledge that. (I was not just talking about me here, idk)  
> I planned to make this story focus on Jimin's recovery and happy moments, but I decided I will actually add more angst to it, especially Jimin's feelings and many talks about his issues along the way. Because I am upset. I totally understand if some of you don't want to read this, otherwise I again say this will have the fluffiest and happiest ending anyways.
> 
>  
> 
> also the two links:  
> http://www.koreaherald.com/view.php?ud=20150416001108  
> https://www.helpguide.org/articles/eating-disorders/helping-someone-with-an-eating-disorder.htm
> 
> I will pretend that Jungkook will educate himself during the next months, but I won't have more chapters like that, I think. I am not planning to write an essay about eating disorders itself after all.  
> and the next chapter is for all the people who love the fluff (and smut)


	39. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a very fluffy and smutty (you have been warned) chapter, also unusually long for my standards lol  
> thanks to the people who replied to my notes on the previous one, i will reply in time!

** Jungkook’s pov **

 

I was getting ready for my trip to Busan. I was looking forward to it, seeing my parents, meeting old friends, spending some time at the beach - it was almost May, so probably not warm enough to swim, but the sun was out and I was likely to roast my bum a bit already- and of course, going to JRJ’s concert. 

Saying bye to Yoongi was harder than I thought, I would miss my grumpy best friend during this week and I could tell he’d miss me too, even if he tried to cover it up by saying things like “Can you please not suffocate me with your steel arms, hulk? Look, stop it with all the skinship, it’s only going to be one week, you little shit.”

I spent half of the day with travelling, over an hour to the airport, waiting, flying, an hour to my parent’s place. It was the same apartment I grew up in, so the happy memories flooded my mind when I walked up the street with my big backpack, I wasn’t a fan of these luggage thingies with four wheels or even two. 

I leaned against the glassdoor, pushing my way through it and going for the stairs instead of the elevator - enough sitting today. When I reached the right floor, I walked up to the door and knocked a few times, no one was ever using this doorbell.

“Jungkook!” Mom greeted me with a beaming smile and got on her toes to hug me closely. She was so small, even smaller than Jimin. I was quick to discard the backpack and lean down to properly squeeze her, then my dad who then took my luggage and carried it to my old room. It felt good to be home, refreshing. Inhaling deeply, I smelled food and my stomach was rumbling at it.

Spending some quality time with my parents really felt good. Although they weren’t too happy about my job, they were still supportive and asked about it, let me show them my recent works and asked whether I planned to get more soon myself. My dad showed me his newest photografies and he was especially proud of the ones he took from my mother. As their son, it made me the happiest to know they were still loving each other, not just living together because they were married and it was something they got used to. They were still going on dates, made small trips together, as the pictures showed me, and I loved it. My mom looked happy in all pictures and when I spoke with my dad about how pretty she was, she even blushed. Of course I had questions about the techniques he used and apparently bored, my mom then left to make us coffee and bring in the cake. 

I then later showed my dad the pictures I’ve been taking, including some shots of the last photoshooting of Jimin. 

“He’s holding a meaning to you, doesn’t he? It’s Park Jimin, right? The guy you’ve always been crushing on?” 

Dad asked me and I couldn’t have been more embarrassed, was I  _ that _ obvious?

“I love him, dad.” I smiled to myself, looking down at the picture Jimin was laughing in, it was the first time he smiled around me. 

“Jungkook..” He started and I knew what was about to come.

“No dad, really. I’ve given him my number after this shooting and it took a while, but we eventually met. We’re dating. I’m serious. As crazy as that sounds!”

Silence stretched through the room, as my parents stared at me in disbelief for a moment, before their expression softened and they seemed.. happy?

“Bring him home one day, will you?” 

“Mom, he is busy and we are living in Seoul…” I frowned.

“Well you mainly came here for his concert anyways, right? So if he’s got time, bring him here, he obviously is in Busan soon.” She nonchalantly said and shrugged her shoulders. 

“Mom, we’ve been dating for barely six weeks!” I protested.

“So? Don’t I have a saying in this as your mother?”

“Mom!”

“Babe..” My father interrupted and got up to hug and kiss her. “He’s grown up, mh? If he thinks he can bring him here one time, he surely will.” 

He then kissed her again… right in front of my salad. I raised both eyebrows, averted my gaze and sipped my coffee, slurping loud enough so they might have mercy on me and my innocent eyes.

  
  


I spent the first day with only my parents, while I met a bunch of old friends for the next and went out with my parents in their car. And then was  _ the _ day, finally I’d meet Jiminie again. 

  
  
  
  


I was excited, I even annoyed my parents with it. I went to the venue too early and had plenty of time left to kill. There was a cute girl next to me who seemed to be alone as well, so I decided to be social and talk to her. 

“Are you alone?” I asked, figuring being social didn’t suit me. I sounded like I was trying to flirt with her. 

“Yes.” She nodded shyly and she seemed uncomfortable.

“How come?”

“My friends don’t like this music.” She said, averting her gaze. 

“Too bad, maybe  _ we _ can be friends.” Oh man, shut up, Jungkook. Be friends with another fan, sure! To tell her I was dating Jimin?

“Uhm..” She mumbled.

“Look, sorry if I’m weird. I was just trying to kill the time. I am not trying to flirt with you, I am taken.” I said and I could watch her face unfold and she seemed more relaxed.

“Who’s your favourite? If you can have any as a guy I mean..” She asked with a soft smile, but damn, was she stupid. 

“Jimin. Sure I can have a favourite, even if I wasn’t gay.” I said dryly and shrugged. I felt her staring at me, but didn’t look at her. “Yours?”

“RM!” She said carefully and I just nodded. 

No, maybe being social really wasn’t a good idea. I fished my phone out and texted Yoongi, Yugyeom and Bambam, refrained from texting Jimin when I wasn’t sure whether she was watching and then played some games, before it finally started.

I found myself rapping and singing along to the songs, while swaying to the beat. I felt high seeing them, seeing Jimin, knowing I would spend time with him afterwards, knowing Jimin had the next two days off as well. When the concert ended, I was sad and happy at the same time - sad it was over, happy to now be able to meet Jimin. I was told the same girl from the staff would be close and I just had to follow her, so I did.

 

 

** 3rd person’s pov **

 

Jimin was nervous. He was in his home town which was always making him happy, but his boyfriend would be there and what was really worrying him, his parents might or might not come. They were upset about the lack of time he had spent with them lately or maybe there was another reason Jimin wasn’t aware of, so he wasn’t sure whether or not they would come. 

The concert was over sooner than expected, two hours always passed by so quickly, and he didn’t manage to spot either of them in the crowd, not surprising. Jimin’s voice has been cracking a lot during a few songs and he wasn’t Park Jimin if he wasn’t beating himself up about it. On top of that, he checked his phone to see that Jimin’s dad had texted him that they wouldn’t make it today. 

 

When the girl of the staff lead him to the designated room, Jungkook used the JRJ towel to dry off his sweat, before he knocked twice and then went in. He was slightly startled when he found Jimin with a girl kneeling in front of him. It looked as if she was comforting him, he didn’t hear what she said, though. Neither did he see Jimin’s head that hung low between his shoulders. Oh no, was his Jiminie hurting?

“Jimin-ssi?” Jungkook asked insecurely. 

Jimin wiped his tears away and straightened up his posture, before turning around. A nod to the girl and she left the room. After Jungkook had walked towards him, he took the same spot the woman had earlier and squatted down, hands on his knees. He noticed the dry tears on his skin, how red his nose was from crying. 

“What’s wrong, angel?” He whispered, worry obvious in his face and voice. 

_ I messed up, my voice cracked, notes weren’t on point. I tried my best, but my best wasn’t good enough. Fans paid so much for it and I messed up. I wanted to give them my best, but I couldn’t. I am the only vocalist and my voice keeps failing me. I disappointed them, I disappointed my band and myself and probably my parents too, they didn’t even come to watch me. I’m a failure. I am not worth the love they give me. I don’t deserve it. _

“Nothing, I’m fine.” Jimin said instead and smiled softly at Jungkook. It wasn’t even a fake smile. Sure, he had to smile through the pain, but he was genuinely happy to see his boyfriend and be able to actually touch him after all this time of being apart. 

_ Do not force him, ask him about his feelings. That surely did apply to any situations, didn’t it? _

“Jiminie..” Jungkook said softly. “You..”  _ No you’s, but I’s. _ “I’m worried about you, I am here for you, alright? You can tell me everything.”

Jungkook’s soft words and eyes made Jimin weak and he allowed another tear to roll down his cheek. 

“I fucked up, Jungkook. My voice was so bad today…” He finally admitted and placed his own small hands on top of his boyfriend’s bigger ones. 

Jungkook had noticed one or two cracks, nothing major, though. Nothing that he would ever consider bad or not normal. Jimin was only human, too. “You did well, angel. I am serious. I’ve been there the whole time, you did an amazing job.”

“I didn’t..” Jimin sniffed. 

“Why are you so sad about it?” 

“I feel like I disappoint my fans when I make mistakes. They worked hard to buy a ticket, they spend at least four hours just for us, so I want to make them happy. I...feel like I don’t..”

Jungkook wanted to cry with him by now. 

“I am your biggest fan, Jimin and I had the best time out there. You guys were so great! You tried your best and that’s all that matters. We don’t want you to be sad, baby boy.” Jungkook continued to try to lift his spirits. 

“Thank you, Jungkookie..” Jimin smiled softly and wiped his tears away and Jungkook leaned in to give him a soft kiss. 

“Will you shower with me again?”

Jungkook nodded and Jimin took his hand to lead him there. 

  
  


The shower took them longer than necessary with Jungkook being attached to the plump lips he had missed so much. The pace kept changing from soft and careful, to passionate, opened-mouth kisses and lots of tongue. Jungkook ignored that he soon felt something hardening against his thigh, it wasn’t the right place to get closer, even if he wanted to. 

After they were both clean, they changed into clean clothes, yes Jungkook actually brought a new pair of boxers and a shirt with him, and Jungkook helped with what he could for them to be able to leave. 

“You can’t leave with me, Jungkookie, come to my hotel room in half an hour.” Jimin said and got on his toes to place a last kiss on his love’s lips. The taller just nodded and left first, soon getting the text from Jimin with the hotel address and room number. Somehow it was an exciting feeling to have to be so private, but then again Jungkook just wanted to cradle him in his arms and kiss him every ten seconds and tell the world how much he loved him.

Jungkook left the venue with some difficulties, it wasn’t especially easy to find the exit, luckily the nice girl from the staff helped him. He thanked her and then went to his car and sat inside. 

Jungkook drove off with a smile glued to his lips and of course after making sure to type the address into the navigation of his parent’s car. It took him around 25 minutes to arrive at the McDonald’s and he struggled a little to find a parking lot, so he ended up driving closer to the hotel and walk back the few meters. Another 15 minutes later Jungkook had a big bag with two big BigMac menus in his hand and hurried inside the hotel. Judging from the fans slowly leaving in front of it, he guessed JRJ had arrived already. 

Jungkook made his way to elevator and quickly pressed 14, then waited impatiently for the elevator to go up. In the meanwhile he remembered what he had learned about eating disorders. He had to act as normal as possible and make mealtime a fun time. So he should enjoy his food and not be afraid that Jimin’s would end up being flushed down the toilet, he couldn’t stop it anyways. 

The sound of the elevator arriving brought him back to reality. Jungkook quickly pushed himself off the wall he was leaning against and strolled down the hall until he found the right number to then knock and wait, again impatiently.

Jimin jumped off his bed and peeked through the hole, before he quickly opened the door and pulled Jungkook inside with a toothy grin. His hair was dry again, roots slightly visible, as he brushed his hair back in his ever-so innocently sinful way. The striped shirt was way too big for him and he only wore a short shorts with it. 

Jungkook smiled back, it was just too contagious for him to remain calm, and allowed himself to be pulled in. After pecking these soft and pink lips a few times, he stepped out of his Timberland’s and placed the food on the huge bed, before walking into the equally huge bathroom to then clean his hands. 

Jimin had been waiting patiently, sitting next to the food. 

“Looks delicious..” Jungkook commented, only then figuring that he should have at least waited for the food to actually be visible before bringing such a smug joke. 

“Jungkook!” Jimin gasped, but even he had to look at the food first, seeing it being covered and it took another moment for him to understand what Jungkook actually meant.

The elder snorted and sat behind Jimin with spread legs, pulling him close and kissing his neck. Oh, how badly he wanted to leave a little mark there, it would compliment his skin perfectly. 

“Let’s eat.” Jungkook announced, mainly to stop his thoughts from running wild and he let Jimin open the bag and pull out the two boxes of burgers, the cokes and the big packs of fries he carefully placed on the bag, so the grease wouldn’t spread over the sheets. 

“What did you get?” Jimin hummed.

“We have the same.” Jungkook informed and brought two fries to his mouth which he munched so quickly, he basically inhaled them, to then remind himself that he should be a good role model which would include eating like a decent human being, not a starving animal. 

Jimin turned a little to be able to reach the food better and also look at Jungkook from time to time. He was craving food, more than he should. He loved food and knew once he started, it was hard for him to stop. But before he could dwell too much in his thoughts, Jungkook came close to his face with a fry between his lips, making Jimin laugh. He felt like in some sappy Disney Movie, but leaned in anyways to nibble on the other end until there was barely anything left. Jungkook didn’t stop there, he gently shoved the last bit in Jimin’s mouth and kissed him afterwards. And so Jungkook kept feeding Jimin, sharing fries like teenagers would do, played plane with the food like parents would do when feeding babies. He wasn’t sure whether this would fit the definition of a fun time, but Jimin was eating and he seemed happy. He hated that he couldn’t see through the facade, but he liked to believe that they would be ok today, even if it was just for today, it was a beginning. 

 

Eating like that took them much longer, but Jimin was eating slowly. It gave his brain more time to savour each bite and actually send him signals of being full. It wasn’t easy to listen to them, but it helped that they were in a hotel room and there wasn’t more food around. So Jimin stopped eating when they finished their dinner and cuddled against Jungkook who rubbed his full stomach as if he was praising his baby belly. Jimin felt bad, he couldn’t control that. The regret of eating even one bite, to know that he had just eaten around 1000 kcal. He swallowed, a knot building in his throat. It was this feeling of extreme nausea that spread through his body that often made him justify the act of vomiting. It made him feel like the food had to get out for him to feel better. Knowing that he had most likely burnt an equal amount on the stage today helped to ease the fear of gaining weight. 

“I love you..” Jungkook whispered, his arm lying beneath Jimin’s body was wrapping itself around the small shoulders, pulling him closer.

It were only these words that distracted Jimin enough for the moment to have the nausea replaced with butterflies flying around like crazy. Jimin has been interrupted before when he wanted to say those words back. It was still a little confusing how easily they slipped Jungkook’s lips, even if Jimin didn’t believe they weren’t meant seriously at all. He sat up to look down at Jungkook who smiled at him tiredly and placed his hand on his stomach. 

“I love you, too!” Jimin said proudly and Jungkook froze in spot, even his breath hitched. 

Jimin kept looking at him, thinking he looked as if a video was paused due to poor internet connection and one would now see the “please wait” across the screen. Jimin couldn’t stop laughing because of the image he had just gotten and threw himself against Jungkook again, his whole frame shaking with his giggles. 

“Why are you laughing?” Jungkook snapped out of his trance and grinned at him.

“You looked too funny, like a meme, hyung.”

“You should have captured it!” And they both continued laughing for a moment, before Jungkook turned serious and pulled Jimin in for a kiss. It wasn’t an innocent anymore, rather them smashing their lips onto each others, letting them wildly grind as if it was a race in which the older seemed to have won, because Jimin pulled back, the plump lips parted and wet and he was panting. The blush obvious on his cheeks, he only needed to a second to give himself into the kiss again. 

In a matter of seconds their clothes were discarded and Jimin was sitting on top of Jungkook. The air seemed hot, so were their skins and their breathes continuously hitting the other’s body whenever they were not kissing like it was their last day together, crazily in love. 

Jimin’s length was squeezed between their bodies when Jungkook sat up to loop his strong arms around the petite one on his lap, while Jungkook’s was pressed down by the younger’s round butt cheeks. 

“I need to get the lube, baby..” Jungkook whispered against Jimin’s chest, his fingers sneaking down to gently rub his fingers over the pink rim. 

The younger, his hands in Jungkook’s hair, wet lips parted and pressed against the little scar on Jungkook’s cheek, was moaning softly, not even making any efforts to move. 

That moan went straight down Jungkook’s body, making his trapped member twitch in excitement. He could tell Jimin wouldn’t move on his own, maybe he would even go as far as pressing himself against his fingers, but he wouldn’t allow that to happen. No one and nothing was ever allowed to hurt what was his, especially not his own body. It only took a little bit of strength to flip them over, causing a louder and seemingly surprised moan to leave the smaller’s throat. 

Jungkook smiled down at him and then got up. He walked to his backpack and fiddled out the small bottle that, on the first glance, looked like a C.C.Lemon bottle to drink, only that instead of _ Vitamin C, _ it said  _ Sex Vitamin Lotion _ . Walking back, he only then noticed that Jimin had rolled on his front, but his eyes were fixed on him. His weight was resting on both elbows and his butt was slightly raised as well. Jungkook gulped at this view and took a moment to allow this to burn into his memory, at the same time he was blushing because he could feel how much his boyfriend was checking him out. 

“Come!” Jimin’s voice was barely above a whisper, but he was growing impatient. It had been too long since he had last felt him. On the one hand this was scaring him, making him feel as if he was losing his virginity a second time, on the other, the memories of how amazing their first time had been was still vivid, making him eager to repeat that.

As if he was magically drawn to that voice, Jungkook’s feet moved until he reached the bed again and he kneeled down next to Jimin, catching one of Jimin’s thighs between his knees. He opened the bottle and poured a fair amount on his fingertip, before he rubbed them over Jimin’s entrance. A long and shaky moan filled the room. 

“Jungkookie!” Jimin whimpered and wiggled his butt. There wasn’t much room for him to move as Jungkook’s weight was restricting him. 

“Be patient, angel! I don’t want to hurt you,” he whispered softly, drawing invisible patterns on the small of his back to distract him, while one digit gently slid in. Afterwards he didn’t move, waiting for Jimin to adjust or give him a sign, but when the younger eagerly pushed himself against the finger, Jungkook pulled back. Maybe he was overly careful, maybe it was the tease in him, but he wouldn’t let him go for it so quickly. 

Jimin whined, panting. He was quite impatient, that was true, but he also considered himself ready enough for at least one finger. 

Jungkook finally gave in, slowly letting his middle finger sink in the warm tightness and pulled another louder moan off his love. He slowly started pulling it back and pushing it forth, going on a slow pace, before carefully adding a second finger to scissor them, once he got adjusted to this one as well. The lip ring trapped between his teeth, Jungkook felt himself being painfully hard at the sight. He was once again thanking his strong willed mind which was still working perfectly and keeping him from just fucking Jimin into the mattress. No, he’d not give in to the animalistic instincts his arousal caused, he had himself perfectly under control or so he thought. 

Jimin crawled up the bed, making the fingers slide out. He was feeling naughty to say the least. Where he got that from? Definitely not from porn, maybe just the pornographic things his best friend ranted about at times. He turned around to face Jungkook who looked caught off guard with his lubed fingers left behind and awkwardly held up. Jimin grabbed the very same arm with both of his small hands and brought it up to his lips. He made sure to lock his eyes with Jungkook before he let the fingers slide over his stuck out tongue to sinfully lick and suck them and Jungkook swore this was the end of his restraint . 

Jimin’s moans were muffled by the fingers, but that didn’t keep him from releasing one after the other, his eyes repeatedly fluttering shut. He didn’t go on for too long, before he then gently pushed Jungkook to lie on his back and Jungkook’s fantasies were running wild. Was he really? 

Jimin reached up to share a deep kiss with his boyfriend, letting him taste him at the same time, before he pulled back. As inexperienced as he might be, Jimin couldn’t possibly feel more ready for this. Lowering himself on one of Jungkook’s shins, Jimin’s small fingers wrapped around the base of Jungkook’s dick to keep it steady, before his lips parted. His tongue gently poked the oversensitive and with pre-cum smeared tip, dragging a deep groan from Jungkook’s throat. Jimin grew more confident by every second and carefully, but tightly closed his lips around it, slowly sucking on it.

Jungkook’s hands snapped up to his own face to hide it. He was seeing stars. Under normal circumstances he’d tell everyone who’d ask he had a good stamina and that wouldn’t even have been a lie.  _ This _ was not normal.  _ This _ was Park Jimin who was pushing him towards his limits, making him feel as if  _ he _ was the overly sensitive one who had just lost his virginity weeks ago. In the end he couldn’t help but to moan louder than he’d usually would. “Fuck.. Jiminie…” He gasped, his back arching off the bed slightly.

Called one was only more encouraged to keep going. He slowly increased the speed, bopping his head up and down and he would lie if he said this wasn’t somehow...fun, knowing what pleasure it caused for Jungkook, it was turning him on as well. With that being said, Jimin was also getting more and more impatient, resulting in him taking care of the last bit of stretching that had to be done by sticking three fingers up himself which Jungkook could feel against his leg. 

“Can you even reach your prostate with your short fingers?” Jungkook asked with a breathy chuckle.

“Careful, mister, I am having a lot of power over you right now!” Jimin answered once he let go of his length with a loud plop, but he wasn’t giving him an answer.

It was a matter of seconds for Jimin to decide this had to be enough and crawl on top of Jungkook, who was steadying Jimin with his hands on his hips, held his breath when he felt Jimin taking him carefully, slowly and wholly.

Jungkook rubbed his thumbs over the hip bones in a soothing manner, panting softly while he patiently, rather impatiently, if he was honest, waited for Jimin to adjust who soon started to move.

Shy at first, the younger wasn’t quite sure how to do  _ this _ but then just trusted himself. When he could do the famous body rolls on stage, he could as well roll his hips on his boyfriend, right? So he tried, rolling them against Jungkook’s body once, then stopping as if to see whether this was good. Jungkook’s moan was more than reason to continue.

Soon Jimin’s worries were washed away and they found their perfect rhythm. Two bodies, two hearts, two minds had become one. Their bodies moved in perfect sync, slow hesitated thrusts quickly turned into wild ones that attacked Jimin’s sweet spot with each move. Jungkook could literally watch Jimin fall apart at it. His hand stroke through his hair in a desperate attempt to keep them from falling into his face and after the third attempt, each making Jungkook curse, he just held them back, eventually pulling on his own hair in pure bliss.

It only took Jungkook a few more thrusts to have his angel reach heaven. His strong thighs caged him as they began to tremble, the muscles around his dick clenching, pushing Jungkook further to the edge. 

“Ju-Jung-Jungkook I- ah- I- a-ah..” 

Once again Jimin didn’t manage to finish the sentence, but there was no need to. Jungkook’s strong arms had a tight grip on the younger’s sides to help him bounce and ride his orgasm out. White spurts of semen were making its way in between their bodies and Jungkook only needed another two thrusts into the clenching tightness to release as well. Panting, both fell down on the bed, Jimin’s head on Jungkook’s chest, none of them making an effort to break the bond they were still having.

“I love you..” Jungkook whispered, lazily stroking through Jimin’s hair the other let go of somewhen in the process of climaxing.

“I love you too, bunny.”

Minutes passed in which they both were busy enjoying each other and regulating their heartbeats. Minutes in which nothing mattered but them and their love. Jimin was happy. There was nothing left of the previous worries about messing up some notes, no thought wasted on the fact he had eaten a lot or the nausea that he had felt before. Jungkook was happy too. Jimin was fine, he didn’t throw up yet, he was smiling, he was good,  _ they _ were good.

“Jungkookie..” Jimin whispered, his small fingers gently scratching over his boyfriend’s chest until they reached his nipple which he then gently squeezed, before happily tugging on the ring.

“You’re like a kitten, aren’t you? Playing with my piercings.”

“Yes! Jungkookie?”

“Yes, angel?”

“I wanna feel your piercing..”

Jungkook swallowed thickly, looking into Jimin’s eyes, he knew it wasn’t just his imagination and weirdly enough Jungkook knew he meant the newest one in his tongue. Jimin was asking for a second round and who was he to deny?

“Anything for you, kitten.” Jungkook smirked.

 

 


	40. Chapter 40

Jimin woke up first the next morning or… day? He turned around in attempt to find his phone, only to groan in exhaustion. He didn’t remember where he put it. Maybe it was still in the pants he had worn yesterday. Instead, he looked at the clock that showed 10:36 am. Damn, when was the last time he slept nine hours straight? He then turned around to look at his boyfriend, only to face his bare back. The duvet only covered his bum and was somehow trapped between his thighs, he was using his arm as a pillow, while his head wasn’t even close to the actual one. Jimin smiled at the adorable sight and let his eyes travel over the well built body in front of him. There were Latin numbers down his neck. Jimin wished he would have paid more attention to the moment they’ve been introduced to that in school so he’d actually understand what they meant. 

His hand reached up to very gently caress the inked skin with his fingertips, the touch didn’t seem to be enough to wake him up, he wasn’t even bothered. His eyes then trailed down further to his calves just to see the colorful iron man covering one of them. He smiled and shuffled down to be closer to it, admiring the artwork as such, before he again found his fingers stroking over the soft skin. 

Jungkook then moved, released a few noises and turned around. He had now found peace in actually using the pillow, his mouth slightly agape, his head tilted upwards and on top of it was a mop of hair. He looked adorable, Jimin decided. 

Not wanting to wake him up, Jimin picked up the phone and called the room service, ordering two breakfasts and telling them he was so hungry he needed two. He didn’t even know whether he’d eat one, but Jungkook ate a lot, so he’d take care of two, Jimin thought. 

When the younger one wanted to get up to go to the bathroom, he had to feel that they must have have forgotten to brush their teeth and pass out right after, he felt strong arms wrapping around him from behind. 

“Where are you going, Minnie?” He mumbled sleepily and damn, Jimin had to admit his morning voice was hot and it made him think that Jungkook must have been awake before him the last time because he couldn’t recall he had heard this before. 

“Bathroom.” Jimin chuckled. “Does that make you my Mickey?”

“...what?” He mumbled again. 

“If I am your Minnie, does it make you my Mickey?” Jimin repeated and let his fingertips wander over the other’s knuckles. 

“Oh sure.. if you like Mickey that is..” 

Jimin only laughed. 

“Let me brush my teeth, we didn’t do that last night.”

“We’ve done more important things last night.” Jungkook yawned, audibly licking his lips a few times and gulping loudly. 

“What are you even doing there?” Jimin asked with a giggle, referring to those weird noises.

“What am I doing where?” Jungkook sat up and damn, he looked so adorable to Jimin. His big eyes unusually small as if he was about to fall asleep again, strands sticking out into so many directions.

“With your mouth?”

“I don’t know what you mean..” Jungkook shook his head in slow motion and slowly let himself fall against Jimin, caging him in a koala hug. “Hungry!” He mumbled, nibbling on Jimin’s shoulder.

“I called the room service, which is why we should shower quickly.” Jimin informed him.

“....Right.” 

Groaning again, Jungkook got up and walked to his backpack, pulling out his toothbrush and toothpaste and then stumbled into the bathroom to brush his teeth, seemingly unbothered by his nakedness and well… morning erection. 

“Jung-” Jimin blushed at the sight, but turned away. He put on his boxers for the short way and followed him to brush his own teeth. 

Only when Jungkook looked down to turn on the water, he noticed how his body was betraying him again and threw a glance at Jimin in the mirror, only to find him looking right at his erection. Jungkook nudged him and Jimin blushed darker than the red boxer shorts he was wearing. 

They were hurrying though, at least with brushing their teeth. Once under the water, Jungkook pulled Jimin close to seal their lips with a soft kiss and sneak his arms around the small waist. 

“What, do you want to take care of it?” He joked, having Jimin blushing once more.

“I would if I wouldn’t be sure that the room service wouldn’t be here any minute.” Jimin answered with a shy smile.

“Oh, you don’t have enough of last night? Three rounds and let me try to count, how many orgasms?” Jungkook teased and held him tightly against himself.

“Yah! Jungkook!” Jimin protested with a shocked, but flustered expression.

“Where are your manners, I am still your hyung!” He mocked him once more, leaving him no time to response by pulling him closer and into another kiss.

It then was Jimin who pulled back after a bit, still worried they wouldn’t be done in time. 

He had just washed his hair the night before, so he focused on cleaning his body, only going through it with the rest of the shampoo he had on his hands, before quickly rinsing off the foam.

It knocked twice. “Room service!” A voice called and Jimin was quick to open the glass door of the shower and slip into the bathrobe. 

“You stay here!” He whispered to Jungkook. “I am coming!” Jimin called and hurried to open the door. 

He should have planned this better. Of course they weren’t coming with a tray but a cart and obviously they wanted to unload it and take it back. 

“I will take it from here!” Jimin quickly stepped in the way when the lady wanted to pass by.

“But I don’t mind, sir.” She said, smiling softly.

“It’s messy here, please. I will put it outside after we- I finished, alright? And the room needs no cleaning today, I will be staying here.” 

She then let go of the cart and only bowed. “As you wish, sir. Have a good day!”

“Thank you, lady, you too.” Jimin smiled and after she left, he pulled the cart inside, letting the door fall shut.

“You will put it outside after  _ we _ finished, huh?” Jungkook leaned against the door frame, only a towel wrapped around his hips, his arms folded in front of his chest and the most evil smirk on his lips. 

“Oh, shut up,  _ hyung _ !” Jimin rolled his eyes.

“You know, the smell of sex is something you can’t hide and we had a lot of that last night, we could open the windows.”

Jimin looked at him in horror and walked into the room with the cart pushed in front of him, to then open the windows. He hasn’t been aware of that...smell.

“Do you think she knows?” Jimin asked, his eyes flooded with worry as he nervously tugged on his bathrobe. 

“I don’t know, baby..” Jungkook’s voice softened. Damn he had fucked up and got Jimin all anxious now. “Even if, she has to be quiet about it.” He said and looked around. 

He didn’t know how much the woman had seen, but it was quite obvious that the Timberlands Jungkook left close to the bathroom were bigger in size compared to the Louis Vuitton derby shoes that were neatly placed in the entrance. The bedroom floor was full of clothes, Jimin’s suitcase neatly placed in the corner and Jungkook’s black backpack leaning against the wall. It were simply the styles of two different men. To sum it up, it just looked like Jimin hooked up with a guy, but Jungkook doubted that girl working as a room service had a photographic memory and had realized all those things. He in her place would have had to use every brain cell to keep himself on his two feet when he had the honor of bringing breakfast to Park Jimin.

Jungkook put the wet towel back into the bathroom and slipped into a pair of black boxers with a white hem and Puma shorts JRJ once have modeled for. 

“Jungkook, you aren’t..” Jimin said with a wide grin, looking down at the pants.

“Of course? Buying them made me feel really close to you!” Jungkook laughed and walked closer to the cart to take one of the two coffees, pour sugar and milk in and sip it. 

“You’re too adorable!” Jimin giggled, taking the lids off the plates to reveal the wide range of choices for this western breakfast. Buns and croissants, cheese, meat, jam, fruits and yoghurt aka heaven. Getting quite hungry at the sight, Jimin took a croissant, dug it into the strawberry jam and took a bite, humming in response. Eating felt easier when he was around Jungkook.

“Come closer!” The blond whined and Jungkook quickly followed his commands.

 

“Jungkookie.. what do the numbers on your neck mean. I saw them the first time today.. Are they new?”

Jungkook swallowed the coffee and shook his head. “It was my first tattoo actually, seems like you’ve never seen me from behind, yet.” He laughed softly, earning another soft slap from Jimin’s small not-so-intimidating hand. “The birth dates of my parents.”

“Aww!” Jimin gasped in complete awe. “Why are you like this?”

“Like what?”

“So cute?!”

“No idea, last time I checked I was pretty badass.” He snickered, only making Jimin laugh more.

“Right.. hardcore bunny.” He giggled, eating another bite off his croissant. 

“What about the iron man?”

“I love iron man!” Jungkook gasped and his eyes were sparkling.

“More than me?” Jimin asked with a challenging grin.

“Are you insane?” The older grumbled and nudged his big nose against Jimin’s cheek. “I’d get a tattoo of you on my other side to prove you.” He mumbled against his neck.

“No way!” The younger laughed, turning away from the tickling sensation. “Do you want to watch it with me one day?” Jimin offered, he hadn’t paid much attention to that movie, yet.

“Are you kidding me? Of course!”

 

The couple kept sharing little stories and Jimin loved to listen to everything Jungkook had to say. Iron man was just the beginning of a fun day of getting to know his boyfriend. Overwatch, Buzz Lightyear and Toystory in general were little things with a huge meaning to the older and Jimin loved this side of Jungkook - the unbothered and ridiculous boy that contrasted his mature and caring so much. And he fell in love all over again.

The day was spent inside, eventually they found a movie to watch, but engulfed in their cuddles, added a round four and eventually five to their marathon of love.

They were happy in their own little world and Jungkook still couldn’t believe this was happening.

 

 

* * *

a/n:

the iron man tattoo design:

and the drawing i just finished the other day (no reposting without credits, no claiming as yours or cropping out signature/ID you find my art [here](instagram.com/k.kokoronashi))


	41. Chapter 41

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Minnie, I wanna go on a date with you!” Jungkook announced as they were sitting in the bathtub, watching a movie in the luxurious bathroom.

“Wha- but.. Jungkook we can’t!”

“Let me take you to the beach tonight!”

Jimin puckered his lips in thoughts but then agreed, still a little doubtful whether this was a good idea. “Alright..”

Bathing soon was forgotten and the males dried themselves and looked through their clothes to see what they could wear. Jimin knew it was dark, yet he wanted to make sure he’d be well hidden behind his glasses and Jungkook’s hoodie he still had and actually refused to return. At least he had washed it in between.

“Is this sweater still mine?” Jungkook snorted as he watched Jimin putting it on as if it has always been part of his closet.

“Actually..no. It’s mine now.” Jimin flashed him a wide grin and how could the older possible fight him?

“If we could at least _share_ clothes, but I mean.. look at you being tiny!”

“Yah!” Jimin complained, nudging Jungkook’s chest. “We are sharing!”

“ _You_ borrowing _my_ clothes to then never _return_ them isn’t sharing, Minnie!” Jungkook raised his index finger in protest, clicking his tongue to emphasize his words.

Jimin nonchalantly reached both of his hands up to grab Jungkook’s wrist and playfully bite the finger that’s being raised at him, sounding like a little puppy growling.

“Oh god, can you please let me live? I swear how are you even real, Park Jimin.” Jungkook was now the one complaining again and quickly wrapped his arms around the smaller to pull him into a bone-crushing hug.

“I love you so much.”

“I love you too, hyung.”

 

Shortly after they were in Jungkook’s car. He had left before Jimin to get the vehicle so Jimin only had to jump in, in case anyone would see him. It was dinner time and they decided to stop at Pizza Hut to get two pizzas to take out, before then proceeding to the beach.

Even if the idea of going there might have sounded spontaneous, if wasn’t. Jungkook had prepared two blankets for them, snacks and drinks in a cooling box that weren’t cold anymore because he actually wanted to take Jimin there after the concert already.

There were a few people strolling down the beach, but not too many. It wasn’t summer yet, after all, so it wasn’t the time for BBQs or any other meetups at the beach.

Jungkook was carrying both of the blankets and pizzas as he refused to let Jimin do anything and walked to a rather abandoned part of the beach to then put down one blanket and unfold the other carefully. Jimin watched him curiously, the worry about being seen forgotten by now and he couldn’t believe his eyes when his boyfriend put out a big candle sheltered by a lantern and lightened it. He wrapped the other blanket around himself, sat down with spread legs and patted the place between his thighs for Jimin to sit down.

He looked around whether they were people watching them. Jimin actually didn’t plan to be so obvious about their relationship with him, he thought they were maybe just sitting next to each other, subtle touches of their hands once in a while, not _this_. But Jimin sat down between his legs, both of his over one of Jungkook’s knees, facing the darkness, rather than the city lights and he felt safe enough to take off his glasses and put them down on the blanket.

“You’re so romantic…” Jimin whispered in awe, his eyes on the dancing candle surrounded by glass and Jungkook loved how Jimin looked, his soft but sharp features enhanced by the warm light, his eyes prettier than any of the skies above them.

“Is that bad?” Jungkook asked with a wide grin, having Jimin shaking his head. The smaller one rested his whole weight against his boyfriend, one arm wrapped around the surprising small waist of Jungkook, one hand balled into a tiny fist against the firm chest.

“How are you feeling?” Jungkook asked, pecking Jimin’s head, while he had to use his strength to keep both up.

“Sore and tired, but happy.” Jimin answered quietly, chuckling to himself.

“I’m surprised about how often we did it in the past twenty four hours, we should stop for now. I don’t want you to hurt.” Jungkook whispered back, reaching one hand to stroke Jimin’s back under his hoodie.

“It’s because I’m made for you, hyung..”

“Jiminie, I just said let’s stop, don’t do his to me..” he mumbled through gritted teeth, his body tensing for a brief moment.

“What am I doing?” He pushed himself back from the taller, looking up at him, eyes big and innocent.

“ _This_. Exactly this, Jimin.”

He snickered, damn was he aware of the effect he had on Jungkook, and then opened the pizza lid to take one of the slices, taking a big bite, before feeding Jungkook one as well.

Jungkook was sticking to his main rule of making eating fun for him. When he noticed that Jimin was eating too fast for his own good, he made him stop by cupping his full cheek and peck his lips once. “I don’t want your tummy to feel upset, please chew properly, Jiminie.” He whispered, trying to not sound scolding, but Jimin looked scolded. He nodded and concentrated on what he was doing, eating slower. It seemed to work, though.

When both finished, the smaller went back to his old posture, cradled against the other’s chest, but with time the hold of his small fist on Jungkook’s sweater got tighter.

“Are you ok, angel?” Jungkook whispered, hearing Jimin whine.

“I don’t feel too good.” He said back.

“Do you want to go back?”

“No..”

“I..” He started and looked up at Jungkook just to be met by sad big eyes.

“Close to where we parked is a toilet.” Jungkook said, forcing a little smile up his lips, but it wasn’t the usual bunny smile and it upset Jimin.

It upset him that he, as his boyfriend was the one who made his smile falter when all he wanted was him to be happy. Jimin was reminded Jungkook knew and it made him feel miserable, but also safe. He was just trying to take care of him and it seemed to help. Jimin had eaten dinner yesterday and breakfast and a fruit salad today. Now of course he wasn’t throwing up on a daily base anyways, so it wasn’t that surprising that he didn’t after the concert either. It surely was unusual for him to eat three meals, though without binge eating or throwing up.

If he was anywhere else he’d stick a finger down his throat right now. There was too much regret, fear he’d gain weight, flashbacks on how many mean comments of ‘fans’ he had read who called him a fat pig, but he was at the beach and had as much dignity to not throw up into the sea or sand.

“No..” Jimin shook his head

“Can I help you somehow?” Jungkook asked and the softness in his voice let Jimin’s heart melt.

“Can you just hold me tightly?”

Nothing easier as that, Jungkook pulled Jimin closer and swayed their bodies softly, rubbing his belly and humming softly.

“Ca-can you sing?” Jimin stuttered. He knew people who couldn’t sing couldn’t even hum, but he liked his humming, as silly as this may sound.

“I’m not nearly as good as you..” Jungkook chuckled shyly.

“Will you sing something for me?” Jimin asked, tugging on Jungkook’s sleeve.

“Will it make you feel better?” Jungkook asked, nervousness getting the best of him.

Jimin nodded.

“Oh man..” Jungkook inhaled shakily, but started singing softly.

 

[ (a/n: listen to it while reading)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uI0djtnVE7k)

[_“When I look at myself_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uI0djtnVE7k)  
[ _I changed so much after meeting you_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uI0djtnVE7k)  
[ _I began to have dreams_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uI0djtnVE7k)  
[ _And I wanted to make your dreams come true too_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uI0djtnVE7k)  
[ _In order to do that, I had to go up higher_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uI0djtnVE7k)  
[ _I had to have more things_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uI0djtnVE7k)  
[ _Just when I had everything_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uI0djtnVE7k)  
[ _My dreams became bigger than love_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uI0djtnVE7k)  
  
[ _All of my life, when I was struggling_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uI0djtnVE7k)  
[ _You are all of my life, you filled me up_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uI0djtnVE7k)  
[ _I tried filling myself up with other things_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uI0djtnVE7k)  
[ _All of my life_ _  
_ You are all of my life”](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uI0djtnVE7k)

 

Jungkook’s voice was a little insecure at first, even breaking. Jimin didn’t mind. He knew how it was to sing without warming up and he really didn’t expect a concert, he just wanted to get a glimpse of it. Even what he heard was above all imagination, though. A bit nasal and mumbled in the beginning, Jungkook’s voice became clearer and steadier the louder and more comfortable he became and to Jimin it was the most beautiful moment ever.

When Jungkook stopped he was filled with insecurities. Never had he believed he would once sing in front of his long-term crush, but now he was also holding him at the same time.

Jimin hadn’t dared to look at him the whole time, afraid Jungkook might stop if he would.

When a comfortable silence, at least to Jimin it was comfortable, lingered over them and all could be head were faint chatters in the distance and the waves crashing on the shore, Jimin looked up, a tear or two rolling down his cheeks.

“This was the most beautiful thing anyone has ever done for me. Thank you, Jungkook. Your voice is beautiful!” Jimin whispered and cupped his cheeks in his hands, pulling him in for a soft and loving kiss.

 

The night was perfect, even more to Jimin. His first love had taken him on his first date and he had also sung him. What else could he wish for?

Jimin snuggled back against the firm chest and watched the candle dance, while the gentle noises or the sea were lulling him into a light sleep.

Jungkook didn’t dare to move. The moment was too beautiful to be ruined. They were happy and warm and who knows, maybe Jungkook had just found another way to make Jimin better when he was struggling.

Jimin only woke up when the position wasn’t comfortable anymore. By then they were the only ones and he could tell it really had to be the middle of the night by now.

Both decided to get back to the hotel to rest properly.

 

 

(a/n: pls ignore the fact jimin is not blond here and i didn't draw jungkook's piercing :')))


	42. Chapter 42

The next day both were already in a goodbye mood. This time Jungkook woke up first, not moving an inch to not wake him up. Jimin didn’t shave the other day and Jungkook found it weirdly adorable how cute but manly he looked with his stubbles. Whether he had forgotten it or not, it made Jungkook feel good, showing him that his boyfriend trusted him and felt comfortable around him. 

After a couple of minutes Jungkook nudged his nose against the others chin, liking the scratchy feeling of these tiny hairs. 

Jimin woke up with a grumble, one of his hands reaching up to rub his eye. Jungkook felt his chest swell at the sight of those small and chubby fists and cheeks and the eyes he barely was able to look into that’s how small they were. 

Jimin then proceeded to rub his face as he halted and seemed to notice his stubbles as well. With what seemed to be embarrassment, Jimin hid against Jungkook’s chest, not planning on moving anywhere for the next hours until he had to leave. Too bad that wouldn’t work out. 

“You’re too adorable to hide.” Jungkook whispered and stroke his hair back with a little force to pull Jimin out of his hiding spot. 

His cheeks flushed pink in an instant as he tried to avert his eyes, but failed to do so for long. 

The two cuddled for a bit, before Jungkook’s grumbling stomach and Jimin’s full bladder forced them to separate. Jimin would once again call the room service with the same breakfast order, this time making sure it wouldn’t look too obvious, with clothes scattered everywhere, that he wasn’t alone here. 

 

“Didn’t you say you were meeting your parents?” Jungkook asked while munching on his croissant. He didn’t think of the question to be anything bad, only when he got no answer, he looked at Jimin, freezing midway with an open mouth that was about to bite down again when he saw the sad look on Jimin’s face. Oh no, had he fucked up?

“They didn’t come to my concert, I haven’t tried calling them, so I guess not.” He shrugged and tried to sound casual when he was actually just hurting deep down. 

“Why didn’t they?” Jungkook frowned, the croissant long forgotten as his focus was now on Jimin wholly. 

“I don’t really know. They’re hard to please, so I guess I’ve angered them with something again.”

Jungkook felt his heart clenching at that. Were they the reason for his self consciousness? Were they making him feel like he was never good or thin or pretty enough or was it the fame, the idol world that had caused it? And Jungkook felt the frustration raise in him because in all honesty, he didn’t know Jimin remotely close as he had thought he would. Although he had felt so close and connected with him through their music, seeing him live, seeing his posts, his face, he had to face the fact that he truly knew very little about the real Park Jimin, about the man he loved so much.

“My parents asked to meet you on day.” Why had he said that? Good question. Maybe Jungkook wanted Jimin to cheer up, to know that Jungkook was talking to his family about dating him, make him feel loved by more than one Jeon, but to him it rather seemed like it just slipped his lips for no real reason.

Jimin’s head snapped up in confusion.

“They.. what? You’ve told them about me?”

Something in Jimin’s voice caused regret to settle into Jungkook. Was he not allowed to?

“Uhm.. yes?” Jungkook’s smile faltered at the unreadable expression in Jimin’s face. He could have been pained, disappointed, sad or surprised, Jungkook really couldn’t guess until the blank face solved into a wide grin that shaped his eyes into the beautiful crescents Jungkook loved so much and he exhaled a breath he wasn’t aware of holding in the first place.

“You’re so cute! But… wouldn’t that be a bit early?” Jimin bit his bottom lip in doubt.

“I told so too and my dad also told my mom that it would be ok to just introduce you when time’s right, but mom really seemed to be eager to meet you. Don’t worry about it, though. I won’t force you and I know our time together is always short and precious, so we don’t have to spend it with my family.” Jungkook rambled, smiling softly.

“What are you saying? I would love to meet them, really!”

Jungkook stared - hard. “Seriously?”

Jimin nodded. “I have to leave in the early evening, should we go soon? For a short visit? One or two hours so we have some time left alone?”

Jungkook nodded, still a bit dumbfounded. “I can help you pack..” He offered, but when he looked around everything messy seemed to be his own things, while Jimin’s luggage was open and well packed already, a few bags gathered around it that looked like they were just waiting to be packed in.

“I think I need to help you, Jungkookie.” Jimin chuckled and Jungkook scratched the back of his head in embarrassment. Not even his own apartment would look like this, so why on earth would he mess up Jimin’s hotel room like this?

“I’m sorry..” He apologized with a small voice, while Jimin only giggled. 

“Don’t be.”

 

This time they ate first and showered after. They planned on making this quick to go and visit Jungkook’s family, but that miserably failed when Jungkook couldn’t stop washing Jimin when he was long clean and ready to be dried, but his skin was too smooth, smell addicting, curves driving him high. Jimin didn’t want to miss this opportunity to be close to him, either.

Once done and ready for another shower, both stared at the ceiling, trying to catch their ragged breathing. 

“I’m sorry, Jungkookie. I swear I wanted to go.” He whispered apologetically, turning his head to look at his boyfriend.

“I know. It won’t be our last time in Busan, huh? I’ve distracted us, so we’re both to blame.” He smiled softly. As long as they were feeling good, he was good. It would have been a surprise visit anyway, Jungkook has not called his parents, therefore he had nothing to cancel now.

 

The last hours passed way too quickly if one asked Jimin. He grew quieter the closer it got to departure and he was also questioning himself and his feelings he failed to understand not ever since, but especially since he had met Jungkook. Everything his body did and made him do became so much harder ever since he had actually cared so deeply about someone and felt the same care and love for himself, something that was foreign to him ever since. 

Not to sound rude, his band members were like family, so was Seokjin, they were great hyungs, always there to listen to him, but maybe that was what made the big difference. Jungkook wasn’t just one to listen. Jungkook knew, he cared, he asked, he showed he cared. Jimin didn’t need to speak. Not that he felt read, that would have creeped him out, but it was as if they had a stronger bound they could feel happiness and sadness through. 

But Jungkook was making him feel so many new things it was confusing. For the first time he had wanted more. His band wasn’t enough, millions of fans wasn’t enough, doing what he loved and was able to do well was not enough. He wanted something back he had willingly given away with signing the contract of JRJ,  _ normality _ . He was in love and it was the best feeling he was ever able to experience. He wanted to do what anyone else would do, go on cute dates, hold hands in public, be affectionate, go to the movies, shopping, anything normal. But Jimin knew he couldn't. Not only would he be risking his own career, but Hoseok’s and Namjoon’s as well as Seokjin’s job. He was also risking Jungkook if he’d do that, because Jungkook was free, he didn’t know much about how cruel people in his industry could be, did he? He didn’t know how cruel fans could be.

What Jimin feared most though was to leave Jungkook because what he had when he was with the older was reassurance and stability. As odd as that sounded, Jimin felt stronger with him. He felt like he would one day get over this sick way of eating, all the negative thoughts about himself, because they were barely there to begin with when he was with his boyfriend. But oh boy they were crashing down on him the moment Jungkook was gone. The smallest thing could happen and Jimin would be triggered, would feel like breaking and he would hate himself for being so weak. He would listen to the voices who’d tell him that he was ugly and fat and never pretty, to the voices who read comments of fans aloud and Jimin knew this wasn’t an illusion. He had read those comments, whether they were made by fans or haters didn’t matter, people had said those things and they were getting to him. 

Jimin began to feel torn. He loved JRJ, less after all those things that happened with Hoseok, but he loved Jungkook. And if one would ask him what he loved more, his decision would be easy- Jungkook. Yes, he’d throw 4 years of being in that band away for 6 weeks of dating Jungkook. Jimin was blaming it on  _ them _ , all the misery he found himself in so often, it was their fault. Not exactly JRJ’s, actually he didn’t know who he really was blaming, but he started to believe that was not the way he wanted to live his life anymore. 

 

“I met Yugyeom recently.” Jungkook quietly said when he held Jimin in his arms, both males packed their bags, ready to go, sitting on the bed dressed and cuddling. Jungkook had noticed that Jimin seemed lost in thoughts. He was lying if he said he wasn’t worried mentioning Yugyeom after what had happened, but he also wanted to make clear Yugyeom was a good friend Jungkook had known for quite a while as well and that there was no reason for Jimin to not trust them.

“You’re meeting him?”

However, the sad and suspicious tone in Jimin’s voice hurt more than Jungkook liked to admit. He mentally scolded himself for bringing the topic up now, just before they had to leave. Jungkook should have known Jimin would be like this once again, just like the time he got dressed when Seokjin called, the time he asked Jungkook to keep his sweater, the time in the backstage area. Jungkook had read that Jimin felt it, he was mentally struggling when they were not together and it already started now, as they were so close to saying goodbye. He should have known this state would make him irritated and insecure.

“We are friends, Jimin. Just friends.” Jungkook tried, softly.

“You’re seeing your ex when we are not together?” Jimin swore he didn’t want to snap, he didn’t want to sound mean, he didn’t want it to hurt. Jungkook had just told him the other day that Yugyeom had always been jealous of Jimin, even during their relationship.

“You’re not believing the bullshit Hoseok had told you, do you?” Jungkook snapped back and oh man, this was bad. This was not how it was supposed to go. Jungkook had to pull himself together, not defend himself when there really was no need to, but what Hoseok had done to them still upset him enough for him to go and punch the living shit out of the rapper.

Jimin fell silent and was about to go up when Jungkook grabbed his wrist, harsher than he planned to. 

“Baby, please I am sorry.” He said calmly, but Jimin was still trying to get out of the hold. Jungkook didn’t know what to do. Should he hold onto him and force him against himself in attempt to calm him down or should he let go? He was opting for the first. The taller man got up and pulled Jimin against him rather effortlessly, but Jimin wasn’t having it. He couldn’t even explain why he was so confused, so angry, he didn’t know at what or who, he was sure it couldn’t be Jungkook as he didn’t even want to be without him, but what else could it be?

Jimin didn’t want to leave, yet he tried to fight the embrace. 

“Why do people keep forcing themselves on me? Am I such an easy target?” Jimin spoke and his angry but fragile voice intimidated Jungkook. He let go of Jimin immediately, oblivious to how much he had leant himself in the opposite direction that he now… fell.

Jungkook stared at him in shock, not quite sure what was worse that he let his angel without wings go and fall on his behind or that someone was forcing himself on Jimin or even worse that Jungkook was now compared to them.

“Jimin, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” Jungkook squatted down and offered both of his hands, already preparing himself to be pushed away, emotionally or physically, he wasn’t quite sure about that point, yet. 

Jimin’s breathing was agitated and he was looking at his hands in pure anger and Jungkook swore he had only seen this face on him a couple of times in photos or videos when Jimin was seriously angry and he, as someone who’s not afraid of many things, was afraid of Jimin. He swore he never wanted to get on Jimin’s bad side and now there he was, inviting himself into hell. 

The huffing eased and Jimin’s face softened. He then looked at Jungkook and took his hands, letting himself be pulled up and he was now the one who looked for the same chest he wanted to get away from seconds ago, wanting nothing more than Jungkook’s arms to tightly wrap around him and protect him from all evil, evil that was so close and he didn’t know whether he was already ready to face Hoseok again.

“Who forced themself on you, Jiminie?” Jungkook asked after a while, his voice soft, as he was still not moving, only tightly keeping him cradled against his chest. 

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It mattered to you minutes ago. You were comparing me with them.” Jungkook asked softly, but there was a little crack in it that Jimin didn’t fail to miss. He had hurt Jungkook.

“I am sorry. You’re not like him. You only want to help, I am sorry for being a bad boyfriend.” Jimin stuttered and before he knew, he was crying and Jungkook’s heart never ached more than at the sound of him sobbing and the feeling of his small frame trembling like this. 

“You’re the best boyfriend I could wish for.” Jungkook tried in all honesty.

“All I do is give you worries and problems.” Jimin sobbed.

“No, Jimin. You give me love, happiness, a kind of happiness I’ve never thought would be possible. You make me proud and excited, you make my body do funny things from feeling all warm and fuzzy when I only think of you to being painfully hard, you make me feel a lot of wonderful things and I love you so much. Of course I do worry, that’s because I do love you. It’s normal to care for someone you love, isn’t it?”

Jimin had smiled throughout the words, even blushing at one part in particular but he couldn’t help but to see Jungkook was right. He was worrying about Jungkook too, but still believed there simply weren’t many worries the older was giving him.

Jungkook really didn’t want to press it anymore. He had an idea who it could be about, but he didn’t want to just assume things. He had so much left to learn about Jimin, so he also had to be fair and say he didn’t know shit about Hoseok. What he knew though was that this guy wasn’t planning to get on Jungkook’s good side from the very first minute and he hated it. He would have a closer look on this guy from now on. With that thought he had to drop the topic for now, although he hated the feeling of Jimin being alone without his protective ass watching over him from now. 

They hated to say goodbye and even Jungkook let the sadness rub off on him and he was getting emotional as well. Yet, the older was trying to pull himself together. Without seeming like he didn’t care about the fact he wouldn’t see Jimin for another month, he tried to show him that it was okay that they still had FaceTime and could message each other. That he still had given Jimin his special ringtone and that he would pick up at whatever time of the day if he’d call him. All that seemed to work a little as Jimin relaxed in Jungkook’s hold, they shared a last long kiss full of emotions in which he didn’t miss how Jimin’s lips were trembling, before Jimin left the room first, followed by Jungkook a couple of minutes later. 

 

Jungkook walked to the car and threw his belongings in, only now checking his phone for the first time in a while. Yoongi asking how he was doing, Yugyeom asking whether he already got him Taehyung’s number, his parents asking whether he was okay and when he would come home. Didn’t he tell them he’d stay with Jimin? He felt guilt washing through his body when he dialed his dad’s number and patiently waited for him to pick up. 

“Son!”

“Dad didn’t I tell you I’d stay with Jimin?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t think you staying with him means you’re not paying attention to your phone at all.” 

He sounded relieved, as if he had been scared. 

“Why are you so worried? It’s not like someone would kidnap me, dad?” Jungkook attempted to joke, but his dad was not having it. 

“I tried to remain calm but your mother is good at worst case scenarios. You having an accident, some crazy fan finding out about you, you getting hurt just anywhere.”

“I’m .. okay, alright? Nothing of that happened. I’m coming back now.”

“Have a safe ride, Jungkook.”

Jungkook ended the call with a sigh. He really wanted to just lie down somewhere and let the sadness and worry about Jimin consume him wholly. He felt weak, not physically, but emotionally. He felt like he was unable to help Jimin when he was so far away and he couldn’t help but to worry about his health, physical and especially mental and keep wondering whether people around him knew, whether they were trying to help him, too. 

 

Jungkook arrived at his previous home almost forty minutes later. He wanted to smile and hug them, enjoy the rest of the two days of vacation he had with them, but he couldn’t. He was just… sad and he felt like a part of him was missing. 

His parents saw when he came through the door. Food was waiting for him, his favorite food. He couldn’t say he wasn’t hungry, he would always eat, even if he didn’t feel like it, that’s what he did now as well. He sat down with a huff, eyes low, as he could feel all eyes on him. 

“What’s wrong with you, son?” His dad was first to speak. 

“I just miss him.” Jungkook quietly said and watched his mother's hands filling his plate with a bit of everything. 

“You really are in love then, mh? He just left, didn’t he?”

Jungkook nodded. 

“Are you sure this is a healthy relationship, Jungkookie?” His mother asked in all gentleness she could show. 

“Yes mom, why shouldn’t it?” He questioned, looking puzzled. 

“Why are you so worried? I’ve never seen you like that. I mean, sure I can remember how it was to be in love like that, I still fall for your dad every day and I miss him too when he only left for work, but are you sure this is it?” She asked and put her hand on Jungkook’s.

Feeling slightly awkward, he retreated his hand and rubbed his thighs nervously. 

“I can see that he is struggling a lot, mom. I was naive to think I know a lot about him by being a fan for many years, because I clearly don't.” Jungkook took a deep breath and looked up, first at his mother, then father. While latter was eating, but attentively looking at him, his mother couldn't care less about the many food she had prepared for two hours when it was about her son having worries. Both of their eyes were on him, but he only felt encouraged to go on.

“It was so easy to fall for him, I don’t even remember when it happened. I’m afraid I fell for the idol because I’ve been feeling all fuzzy from the minute he entered the set on the photo shoot, but I don’t mean to say I don’t love the real Park Jimin, I truly do, but I’m afraid it’s not enough.” Jungkook’s voice was shaking a little as he tried to remain collected and calm.

“Why do you think so?” His father asked, wiping his mouth with a napkin, as he still looked at his son.

“He is sad when we have to leave. And I don’t mean only a cute pout.. I always feel like it’s a goodbye for months, as if one of us was going to the military or moving to another country, you know. And I don’t understand.. I want to understand why, but he is so vulnerable when he’s like that that anything like asking him could make him snap.” 

His parents were still looking at him, but Jungkook’s mother was encouraging him to eat as well, thinking he would feel better and Jungkook did.

“Today for example.. I mentioned Yugyeom. I recently met him and we were talking about Jimin and his friend Kim Taehyung and Yugyeom asked whether I could ask for his number for him.” Jungkook explained, sighing. “I didn’t get far. As soon as he heard I was spending time with Yugyeom, he became.. angry or jealous, I’m not sure.”

Jungkook’s parents knew about Yugyeom, he had brought him home a few times and they were getting along quite well, yet both of them saw no future for them on the long run, but they wanted Jungkook to be happy for as long as it lasted. 

“I know for a fact he’s got an eating disorder, too, most likely bulimia. I figured it’s a hard topic to address. He knows I know.. and I can see him try to get better when he’s with me, but I am worried how he’s doing when he’s not with me. I don’t know if people around him know, if he’s got someone really close he can talk to. I am trying to read as much as possible about that, but I can also see he’s not ready to talk about it, yet. I don’t want to pressure him, but I don’t want to seem like I don’t care.”

“He really seems to need you. Do you feel responsible for him?” His mother asked.

“I think he  _ does _ need me. I don’t think he is a responsibility, though. Truth is I really want him to get better and to be as healthy as he can be and I am afraid if I can’t help him I can’t watch him destroying himself.”

“So you mean you’re afraid your love is not enough to keep you two together in the end?” His father asked, raising a brow. He wasn’t judging, Jungkook knew, he was just trying to understand.

“You know me, dad. He’s not my responsibility, but it’s my goal to make him healthy to say it in an extreme way. I feel like if we’re dating and I just watch him binge eating and forcing his small fingers down his throat I am a  _ very _ bad boyfriend. The problem is I  _ know _ this is bullshit, I’ve read it. They said I had to be careful and patient and I am not one to be very patient. I don’t expect him to eat normally from now on, I am prepared for relapses and very bad days, I am even prepared for fights and him being angry at me, I am prepared for us having talks that I know will tear my heart apart, but I am afraid all that won’t help him. What if he is not willing to get better? What if what got him to do it is so deep that it takes years to help him? What if I am not strong enough to help him?”

Jungkook didn’t notice the tear that rolled down his cheek until he felt his nose running and his vision got blurry from the wetness in his eyes. 

“You can’t see yourself as the one who carries all the weight alone, Jungkook.” His mother started, after wiping the tear away with her thumb. “You have your strengths, you might be mentally a lot stronger than him at the moment, but you’re not untouchable, you’ve got a heart too and of course it hurts you to see the man you love is suffering because of himself, basically. Can you promise me something, Jungkook?”

The man looked at her questioning, eyebrows furrowed. “Don’t ask me to leave him!”

“I wouldn’t. I want you to promise that you don’t try to be the strong one for him. Promise me that you reach out to people like you are doing now. You know that, as your parents, we are always here for you! We will try to help! Promise me that you also tell Jimin how you feel. I think if he understands how it makes you feel, it might make him understand more..”

Jungkook seemed to be thoughtful for a few seconds, before he nodded. “I promise, mom.”

She smiled and then got up to hug him and his father joined them into a hearty and warm family hug. 

“You’re the best parents I could ask for!” He sobbed softly, hugging them back tightly. 

“You’re the best son we could wish for!” His mother replied, before pulling back.

Although it started quite emotional, Jungkook felt a lot better after telling them about Jimin and his worries. He was then able to change the topic for lighter ones and enjoy the food even more. For now his thoughts didn’t revolve around Jimin, he was enjoying his parents’ presence and the delicious food. Although it was late, they all decided to go for a walk and take a few pictures. Of course his father’s favourite motive was his wife and Jungkook’s goal was to capture the love he saw blooming between his parents. He felt happy. He wished Jimin could be with him, but he felt content like this.


	43. Chapter 43

**Jimin’s pov**

 

Being without Jungkook scared me and I couldn’t even tell for sure why. Was it the fact that I didn’t feel safe anymore around Hoseok? Maybe. 

I told them to not bother me while I was with Jungkook and I was glad they stuck to it. Meeting in the lobby, I couldn’t help but to feel anxious. I’ve had this before, hot and cold, not being able to breathe properly, noises were too loud. I pulled my luggage with me and waited rather impatiently. I just wanted to be in the car, out of sight. 

“Jimin-ah?” Seokjin asked me worriedly. 

I forced a smile on my lips. If I’d talk about my worries, I would freak out. 

“What’s wrong?” He tried again.

I shook my head and I felt him getting angry. He must have thought Jungkook did something to me and I felt sorry. I wanted to defend him, tell Seokjin nothing happened, but I couldn’t. I felt myself panicking. 

Luckily our car was there soon and we were seated inside. Seokjin and Namjoon sat with me and Hoseok in the front. I felt him looking at me through the mirror. He was probably not even thinking anything weird, but memories of the night flooded my brain and I felt like puking. 

„Jimin…” Seokjin said again, quieter this time so only I’d hear him. 

“I don’t feel too good, Seokjinie-hyung.” I managed to croak out, swallowing a lump in my throat. 

When the car started moving, the nausea only got worse and I really felt like puking.

“Shall we pull over? You look pale.” 

“No.. Jungkookie.. I..” I wanted to say I needed him, that I wanted to call him to hear his voice, but I was just making it worse.

“What has he done to you?” Seokjin got louder as he was seemingly alarmed.

I felt pathetic and like a kicked puppy but I needed him so bad. I tried to fight the urge to call him like he offered me. I didn’t want to seem so desperate, but I truly was. 

Before I knew, Seokjin took his phone out and was calling someone, while I had my eyes shut, trying to calm my stomach down enough to not puke all over the car. 

“Hey, can we stop? I think Jimin-ah is not feeling good.” Namjoon said, his words seemingly directed at the driver. 

“I am sorry but unless it’s extremely urgent.. we need to hurry a bit to catch your flight.”

Namjoon then scoffed and took a plastic bag out to hand it over to me. I took it, hoping I wouldn’t need it. 

“Yah! What the fuck have you done to Jimin?” I heard Seokjin yell in his phone. I wanted to tell him to calm down and not make our driver suspicious, but I couldn’t.

“What do you mean nothing? ..Oh hell shit I didn’t want to know  _ that _ ! ...No? ...Because he’s not feeling good!” 

The longer he talked, the calmer he got and from the corner of my eyes I could see Namjoon subtly brushing his knuckles over the side of his thigh, probably in attempt to calm him down as well.

“Shaking.. he says he feels nauseous.. ok are you sure? Okay… Jimin-ah?” 

I managed to turn around and look at him, only to see him holding out his phone to me. I took it with shaking hands and pressed it to my ear, not able to say anything, though.

“Angel..” Jungkook whispered and his voice went through my body like an infusion of vitamins, energy, all the good things you could do to your body. I must have released some kind of whimper that made him realize I was there, listening.

“How are you feeling, baby?” He asked and I really wanted to talk, but I couldn’t. Speaking asked for an enormous amount of energy I didn’t seem to have at that moment.

“You can’t talk right now, hm? That’s fine, angel, I am right with you until you feel better, alright? Seokjin-hyung told me you’re not feeling good. I assume it’s because you have to leave? But I will always be with you, ok Jiminie?”

I tried to take deep breaths, both hands clinging to the iPhone, while I leaned my head against the window. I closed my eyes and concentrated on his voice, ignoring the panic that still was about to take over my whole body. It wouldn’t be the first panic attack, but the last one was years ago, too long to even be a vivid memory. 

“Please.. keep talking..” I whispered, but I knew he still heard me, as he continued speaking right away.

“I am still in the hotel room, I thought I would go in a bit. I’ll be in Busan for two more days, I guess I am going to spend it with my parents rather than old friends. Then I’ll go back to Seoul. I really miss Yoongi-hyung and I know he misses me too. You know, he’s been my best friend ever since I got to Seoul. He taught me most of what I know about tattooing and I am working with him. It feels good to have your best friend close all the time. I should find a way to make up for all the time I must have annoyed him with blabbering about you, shoving my phone in his face and the hours talking about how it is unfair what god did while creating you. Thighs of steel, lovely abs, cheeks looking like a donut, and you can be sure I mean it as a compliment because I love donuts and sinful lips all dem Kim Kardashians would envy.” Jungkook continued to blabber. It was obvious he didn’t know what to say, but I loved it.

“I would have never believed they’d feel  _ that _ good though, damn I am so lucky to be your boyfriend, Park Jimin. You don’t understand how much I love you.”

I was chuckling by now, my cheeks heated from all the silly things he was saying. “You’re right, I don’t understand. You’re seeing too much already!” I had to watch my words in front of the members, but especially the driver.

“Nothing I’ve seen is changing how I see you, Jiminie.” His tone changed to weirdly seriously.

“I love you, just the way you are.”

“You know.. I think the same.” I said and added with a whisper. “I’m sorry there’s no other way to tell you at the moment.”

“It’s fine. I never told you to hear it back. I want you to know and feel it.”

“Will you stop it? I am cringing!” 

I really didn’t know how to handle his cheesy ass and I was forced to make it sound casual enough to make it sound like I was just talking to a close friend, not my boyfriend. Hell would break loose if they’d find out I was dating, worse if they’d knew it was a guy. 

“I hear you’re feeling better” Jungkook chuckled and I heard him shuffle around, doors closing. “I will be going back now, I guess.” He sighed and I bit my lip. I really wanted to hug and kiss him and I hated myself for being so damn clingy.

“Want me to stay with you?” He asked.

“I’m at the airport soon, have a safe ride, ok?”

“Okay, Minnie. I love you.”

“Yes.. you, too!”

* * *

  
  
  


A couple of minutes later the band and team arrived at the airport. It was a routine they got used to. Travelling wasn’t something they still enjoyed a lot, the excitement about planes, the food, being above the clouds, seeing different cities and countries was something that Jimin didn’t feel much anymore. Sometimes he had to remind himself where they were going or where they were playing. It wasn’t him being used to all the fame or not caring about his success and taking it for granted, it was him being constantly overwhelmed with the life he was living and the fact he had such little influence in the little things. Others were planning his life and the anchor was missing until he found Jungkook. 

Now he found himself relaxing in the comfortable seat in the business class, his headphones plugged in, staring out in the blue sky and the clouds looking fluffier than ever. The last two days replayed in his mind, partly uncomfortable vividly that it made his jeans tight, breath heavy and heart race. Jungkook was finally a reason to be genuinely happy again and he was, especially after the call that prevented him from panicking in the car. able to grab this happiness and appreciate things more. He was actually looking forward to the rest of the tour now. He was smiling, enjoying the fact he was sitting on a plane, doing his job that he loved. It was a total shift to the thoughts he had recently about not wanting anything but being with Jungkook, but he didn’t want to question it for now. He was enjoying himself.

  
  


Of course this was not supposed to last too long when Jimin had to share his room with Hoseok. He was sick of taking the couple time from Namjoon and Seokjin, so he refused to take his offer of switching rooms again. He was ready to kick Hoseok’s balls if he was making one more move at him.

It was late when they arrived. Jimin didn’t care to shower as he had done that with Jungkook sometime earlier this day, so he just fished that shirt out he stole from Jungkook and put it on. To Hoseok it was obvious that this was not Jimin’s shirt and he couldn’t help but snort at the sight of the small male in the oversized shirt that almost reached his knees. 

Jimin was the most peaceful of all three on the band, but he was so sick of Hoseok’s behavior, he couldn’t help but snap at him again. 

“Ok, hyung I get it! You don’t like Jungkook because you like me, but can we please act like adults?”

Hoseok was squinting his eyes at Jimin, the corner of his lips tugging up in what seemed to be disgust.

“Hyung..” Jimin calmed down a little and plopped down on his bed, his hands folded in his lap as his thumbs were fiddling with the hem of the shirt. “You’re important to me, ok? I don’t want this to be so awkward between us. But what you did was not ok, you know? I understand you like me and you are jealous of him. Look, I will even keep it to myself, ok? I don’t plan to tell you anything about my relationship with him, I don’t want to hurt you, but he really treats me well and he makes me happy, ok?”

Hoseok stared at him with a blank face, only once in a while a muscle in his face twitched in an unreadable way that left Jimin confused. He was listening, right? 

“I would make you happier.” His voice was cold and Jimin didn’t like how slowly and creepily Hoseok approached his bed.

“Hyung, you never told me you liked me and I am sorry, but I’ve never seen you in a romantic way. I don’t think I could even feel the same for you.” Jimin tried to make him understand, his voice wavering with the insecurity that kept growing and the panic that he felt bubbling in his stomach.

“You didn’t even try, Jiminie.” Hoseok said and was now standing right in front of Jimin, a hand cupping his cheek and he was smiling. Jimin should feel relieved, he thought, but he didn’t. Something in the way he smiled seemed… fake, his eyes sparkled with something crazy and Jimin was scared.

“Please don’t call me like that.” He quietly said and pulled back a little. 

“Why? Is that  _ his _ name only for you?”

“Hyung..”

“How long did it take him to  _ fuck _ you, huh? Are you  _ that _ easy, Jiminie?”

“Hyung!” Jimin frowned, feeling hurt by the imply in his words.

“Is he good?”

“Hyung, that’s none of your business!” Jimin got angry and as much as he tried to end the fight between them, he was about to flip a table.

“Why don’t you answer me? How long did it take him to wrap you around his filthy finger?”

_ That’s it, _ Jimin thought. He got up and pushed Hoseok back by the force of his body, signalizing he wasn’t one to be taking everything in without complain, either.

“Stop it, hyung! Just stop! Third date, okay? It took  _ me _ three dates. And if I did it right there on set when I first met him it still wouldn’t be your fucking business, so let it be. Let us be and let  _ him _ be.”

“But I am  _ better _ !” Hoseok argued and forcefully pulled Jimin closer in attempt to crash their lips together, only to be met with Jimin’s flat palm hitting his cheek so hard it sent him to the bed. 

“Fucking get over it Jung Hoseok. I don’t want you and seeing you acting like this I can for sure say he’s  _ much _ better than you. Now excuse me, I’ve got sleep to take care of and if you ever dare to lie a single finger on me while I sleep I swear to god I will cut off your dick and sell it on ebay!”

With that being said, Jimin left for the bathroom to brush his teeth, oddly happy with himself. When he came back, Hoseok sat on his bed, looking lost in thoughts and regretful. Jimin couldn’t care less. He plugged his earphones in and turned away from Hoseok, setting his alarm and lying down to relax. Although the situation turned in a direction Jimin hated, he was glad he stood up for himself and didn’t let Hoseok force himself on him again.

He decided to text Jungkook to feel better, before going to bed.

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

a/n:

so how are you feeling after reading this? I guess some of you might be a bit displeased now, don't hate Hoseok too much lol

there's a new poll on my new twitter!

follow me on twitter for anything related to my fanfics (polls, posts, drawings, updates etc). there is also a new social media au going on there!


	44. Chapter 44

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a boring filler chapter incoming. also new character appears: diminie

A few days later

 

* * *

 

 

One month later

 

JRJ’s tour final was coming closer and Jimin was counting the hours to see Jungkook again. As promised, Jungkook has been picking up whenever Jimin was calling him and they were texting and phoning almost daily during this time. 

Their final show was a huge success and as always, Jimin was happy and sad at the same time that it was over. Jimin had given Jungkook their address and a time by when they would come home. He also told him that he had to go and eat with his members and the team to celebrate and this wouldn’t be able to eat with Jungkook. Latter didn’t mind and quickly got himself something to eat after the live, before he then drove up to the house where he waited in the car. 

It took the band a little longer than promised to get there, but Jungkook didn’t mind. He was just worried that Jimin didn’t tell him about it. On the other hand he didn’t want to ask and sound too clingy either. 

Half an hour later the SUV pulled up next to the black Hyundai and Jungkook didn’t lose time to get out. Namjoon was the one driving as he only had one drink in the beginning of the evening, while the other three were pretty wasted. Jimin didn’t drink much, yet he couldn’t handle alcohol well and ended up being more than just tipsy after one beer and a cocktail. 

“Jungkook-ah!” He jumped out of the car, almost fell and ran around the vehicles and into his boyfriend’s arms. 

“Shhhh, I’m right here, Jiminie.” Jungkook hurried to catch him quickly and pressed him against him for support only. He was tempted, yet knew his place when they were still in public and surrounded by his band members and manager or whatever placeSeokjin had, Jungkook forgot about that. 

 

“Diminie missed you!” He kept babbling, too loud for anyone’s liking. 

“Diminie?!” Jungkook repeated, amused but also out of breath because seriously? Drunk Jimin was even cuter than sober Jimin and this fact alone was quite upsetting. 

“Diminie wants to kiss hi-“ 

Just before Jimin could make it worse, Jungkook covered his mouth with his palm, dragging him along to the entrance of the house. 

“Hey.” He briefly greeted the others, not necessarily paying a lot attention to Seokjin and Hoseok who Jungkook wasn’t sure were supporting each other or dragging each other down. Namjoon seemed to be sober though which he was glad about as he saw him coming from the driver’s seat. 

“Hey there,” Namjoon greeted back with a little smile and after the door was unlocked, he made sure that his band made it inside safely, while Jungkook took care of his boyfriend. 

“Diminie upset!” He freely complained once the volume of his voice would be swallowed by the four walls of his home, even though the front door was still open. 

“How so?” Jungkook asked with a frown, busy kicking his own shoes off and carrying his bag, while still making sure Jimin wouldn’t run off or lose balance. 

“Diminie demands kisses!” He put on the biggest pout, his small fists in his hips for emphasis and Jungkook thought he had run against a wall or something because this sight was painfully adorable. Together with the flushed cheeks and healthy glow all over his face Jungkook wondered how much it took for him to get that drunk and he was looking forward to the party to meet this Jimin again. 

“I will give you all the kisses if you cooperate and take off your shoes. Then we will go to the bathroom to get you ready and then we will go to bed where I’ll give you all kisses, alright?” 

Jimin bent down quickly enough Jungkook was worried his nose will flat out meet the ground, but he steadied himself, untied his laces, stepped out of his shoes and ran towards the bathroom. Jungkook followed with a little chuckle. 

As soon as water met Jimin’s face, he seemed to sober up a bit and Diminie slowly was replaced with Jimin,  _ slowly _ . 

“Diminie sleepy!” He mumbled, tiny fists rubbing his eyes and it wasn’t easy to distinguish  _ Diminie _ from a 2 year old boy. Jungkook had brushed his teeth and washed his face as well and was now leading Jimin to his room where he stripped out of his clothes after closing the door. But when he turned around, said boy was standing there as if he was waiting for the okay to change clothes. 

“Want me to help?” Jungkook asked with a small smile and surprisingly  _ Diminie _ agreed. What would Jimin say to a behavior like that? 

Jungkook approached him to then help him out of his clothes and change into the shirt that lied on the bed, which he easily made out as his own. Jungkook then lifted Jimin up bridal style and placed him in bed, tucking him in. 

“Kisses?” He asked, bashing his lashes at the man. How could be probably say no? As long as Jimin wouldn’t call him daddy, he was still okay with him acting like this. With a single nod he agreed and leaned in to press his lips against the plumper one’s. Diminie mumbled into the kiss as if he was eating something delicious which only made Jungkook laugh. Drunk Jimin really was something…

However, he continued giving him the attention he wanted, somehow happy he wasn’t asked for more, as he would have had to turn that offer down on this drunk state. Before Jungkook knew, Jimin fell asleep on his chest, snoring softly, and it didn’t take him much longer to fall asleep soon after. 

 

It wasn’t surprising that Jungkook woke up first the next day. Jimin was stretched over his bed, forehead resting on Jungkook’s biceps while his face was in the sheets. The older moved carefully, hoping to not wake him up and he was flinching when the younger actually moved. Jimin, however, only tilted his head to the side, mouth open and lips and cheek wet with drool. His hair was a mess as well and Jungkook couldn’t help but to take a picture to save this moment and coo about it later. He then snuck out of the room and went to the bathroom where he brushed his teeth and washed his face, lazily drying his hands by stroking them through his hair. He then strolled down the aisle to the kitchen, slightly jumping back as he found Seokjin standing there in only sweatpants. 

“Oh!” They both exclaimed at the same time, Seokjin obviously more embarrassed than Jungkook who wasn’t wearing more, contrary, Jungkook was only wearing his black Tommy Hilfiger boxers. He didn’t mind it much, nudity was normal to him and he was quite unbothered by half naked men, unless it was Park Jimin. 

“I forgot you’re here..” Seokjin apologized to what the younger only shook his head. 

“I really don’t mind. I mean unless you do, then I’ll put some clothes on..” Jungkook offered. 

“Uhm..” 

Jungkook got himself some water and when he turned around, he caught the other staring at his back, well now abs. He decided it was inappropriate to joke about it though, even if he didn’t even mind that. Seokjin had Namjoon, he had Jimin, it was unlikely to him Seokjin really was attracted to him, only because he was looking at him. 

“How much time do you spend in the gym, oh lord?” He then finally voiced his thoughts, making Jungkook laugh and almost spit his water. 

“My job is very irregular, so I only work when I have appointments. I used to go around five times a week, I often skip it nowadays.” He explained, flexing his arm muscles. It wasn’t to impress, but rather to evaluate whether skipping did any harm already. It didn’t seem so. He still made sure to go twice a week at least, apart from the time he went to Busan, there he was going for runs instead and made all the workouts he could do with just his body and no extra weights. 

“We have a gym downstairs if you feel the need to. Although you probably get another kind of workout when you’re with Jimin.” Seokjin snorted.

“You can bet on that. He’s insatiable, this boy.” Jungkook replied with a grin, earning a gasp from Seokjin that made him realize he should have switched on his brain-to-mouth filter when he crawled out of bed. 

“Jimin-ah, wouldn’t have guessed that. How often?”

Jungkook raised both brows after drowning the water finally, surprised that he must have mistaken the meaning of the gasp. “Uhm.. last time I think it were three times a day?” He seemed to think for a moment, but then nodded to confirm that this was at least what he remembered. If he was honest, the two days more or less locked in the hotel room had something magical, surreal and pornographic, so he really felt like it was more of a dream that reality. 

“Wild.. You’re having a good stamina...or are you a switch?” He took a sip of his coffee and leaned against the counter, ready for Jungkook to spill the tea.

Jungkook turned around once he placed a cup for himself in the coffee machine and prepared one for him, shaking his head. “No switching for me. I guess I am too into being a top.” He smirked and Seokjin did so too. 

“Interesting.” He just stated, nodding.

“What about you, while we’re at it?”

“Well,” He started but paused for a bit, making it impossible to tell whether he was uncomfortable talking about himself or was seriously thinking about the question, “I would try to switch, I am kinda curious, but Namjoon-ah doesn’t let me.” He admitted with a soft smile, making Jungkook laugh. 

“I guess I wouldn’t let Jiminie either and I mean.. have you seen his perfect peach butt? Why should I give that up?”

Both males laughed a little, shaking their heads.

“Can you shut up, my head hurts.” Hoseok greeted them, but it was obvious he meant Jungkook rather than Seokjin. The heels of his hands pressed to his temples, Hoseok stumbled into their middle to get a glass of water and drown the pill he held between his thumb and index finger.

“Well, maybe you should know your limits.” Jungkook didn’t bother to lower the volume of his voice, he even spoke louder than before, just to tease him. He was quite fed up with the attitude Hoseok was giving him and he wouldn’t take it much longer, either. It seemed like the hangovered wasn’t up for a fight though, as he just glared up at the half naked Jungkook and then turned around. 

“Can’t you put clothes on? It’s not  _ your _ house.” He barked.

“You don’t have to look at me. And for your information, Jimin enjoys the view a lot.” Jungkook enjoyed teasing him, knowing that Hoseok must be boiling on the inside by now. He, however, was amused and totally calm while sipping his coffee and while Seokjin was worried the situation will escalate, he was still enjoying the scene that unfolded itself in front of him. 

To their surprise, nothing happened and Hoseok just left the room, probably to go back to sleep, not that Jungkook would care, he had to spend the whole evening with him at the party after all. 

 

With a shake of their heads, the half naked males resumed to talk, until they finished their coffees. Jungkook helped Seokjin preparing breakfast for everyone and he pondered whether he should carry it to Jimin or wake him up and bring him here. He had never eaten with Jimin and others, so he was worried he wouldn’t feel comfortable enough if it wasn’t only them, on the other hand he thought it could be more enjoyable if his band members were there as well. He opted for the latter option, hoping he wouldn’t regret it.

Two hours have passed since Jungkook left the bedroom, so he thought it was about time to wake up Jimin. He opened the door as quietly as possible and carefully sat down on the bed, stroking Jimin’s hair off his face and kissing his forehead. He couldn’t help but to chuckle when he saw that Jimin was still drooling.

It took a bit for him to wake up, Jungkook had to plant kisses all over his face, leaving out the wet areas, and upper body to his hand to get a first movement. While Jimin was yawning and whining, Jungkook watched him, his eyes trailing down to the small hand he was holding and he noticed that the mark his teeth left on his knuckles was fading. Jungkook smiled, knowing this was a good sign, Jimin was getting better, was vomiting less, at least that was what he was hoping for. For a moment he considered looking through Jimin’s belongings to find laxatives, but he wouldn’t want to be so nosy and he was hoping for the best.

“Good morning, angel.” He whispered, looking at his messy but lovely looking boyfriend.

“Morning..” he answered with his raspy morning voice, making Jungkook smile. 

Jimin took his hand off Jungkook’s and reached his arms over his head to stretch along with a little squeal, before he rubbed his eyes and face and then sat up immediately. “Eww!” He exclaimed when he felt how wet he was around his mouth and Jungkook had a hard time containing his laugh. 

Jimin turned around to touch the bed, making a face when he found a wet spot that, considering the size, he must have drooled on for quite a while.

“Gross..” Jimin commented and wiped it off his face.

“It’s kind of cute, though.” Jungkook corrected, shaking his head softly.

Jimin had both brows raised, looking at Jungkook in utter disapproval and confusion. “You’re too whipped for me, man.” He complained and Jungkook couldn’t agree more. 

He pulled Jimin off the bed and spanked his butt, hugging him close to his body. “I love your morning voice.” He whispered and pressed a kiss to his temple. “Hyung and I made breakfast, come?” Jungkook asked, without being demanding. After all it was Jimin’s decision he had to accept. Luckily he agreed and after Jungkook put on a shirt and sweatpants, he took his hand and walked back to the living room where Seokjin, now with a shirt, and Namjoon, surprisingly fit-looking, sat, the spot for Hoseok empty. 

“Morning!” Both greeted at the same time and got a cheerful morning back from the couple. Jungkook handed Jimin his coffee and then sat down. When Jimin was still standing next to him, sipping his coffee, holding the mug with both of his small hands, Jungkook looked at him questioning. Only when Jimin nodded at his crotch, he understood and moved back a little to make space. Jimin then climbed on his lap, sitting on one thigh, while one arm was loosely resting on the older’s shoulder, his hands lazily playing with his hair in his neck. Jungkook didn’t even try to pull himself together and snuck his hand under the hem of Jimin’s boxers, resting it on his apple butt, while the other hand was reaching over for a piece of banana to feed Jimin. 

“Since when are you eating breakfast?” Namjoon asked curiously, raising his brow in suspicion. Jungkook shot him a death glare that Namjoon couldn’t really understand what the reason behind it was, but he was quick to understand to drop the topic. “So how is Diminie doing?” He asked instead, looking over at Jimin. 

Jungkook snorted, a bit of his coffee staining his shirt. At least it didn’t come off his nose, he thought.

“Since Jungkook has been feeding me breakfast. And what the fuck are you talking about?” He replied grumpily, making Jungkook and Namjoon laugh and shake their heads, while Seokjin was just as clueless.

“You turn into a very clingy  _ Diminie _ when you’re drunk, baby. And you talk about yourself in third person.” Jungkook explained, squeezing his buttcheek softly to emphasize that he didn’t mind, in fact he found it adorable. 

“Holy shit..” Jimin blurted in embarrassment, his cheeks flushing while he hid his face in the crook of Jungkook’s sensitive neck, whining.

“It was really adorable. _ Diminie demands kisses! _ ” He impersonated him, earning another laugh from Namjoon and a slap to his chest from Jimin, but he didn’t mind and just laughed it off.

Jungkook’s plan worked well. Breakfast was fun time with Namjoon’s and Seokjin’s company and while Jimin was constantly fed and all his hands touched were Jungkook’s fingers, neck and hair, he was too engaged in the conversations and affection to worry much about the food in his stomach. The four were alone, while Hosoek stayed in his room, no one knew whether it was because he didn’t want to be around Jungkook or was sleeping, but Jungkook and Jimin couldn’t have cared less. 

The breakfast took much longer than normal with Jungkook feeding Jimin and himself. Namjoon and Seokjin were soon done, but stayed for another coffee and nice company. Seokjin seemed to take advantage of the fact the two needed longer, as he was having a second little breakfast after half an hour to which Namjoon only scolded him. 

After that Jungkook and Jimin showered together, before sitting in their small garden, cuddled together, talking about this and that before they’d get ready for the party.


	45. Chapter 45

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S BEEN ONE MONTH I AM SORRY LIFE HAPPENED OR SOMETHING.  
> I know some people are waiting for this fanfic so good news: I am alive, I still love Jikook, this fanfic will be continued, just probably not as quickly as I hoped. I was trying to include a bit of all of their relationships for this chapter, but I wasn't really happy with the outcome, still am not, but the party is not THAT important for the plot, so I didn't want it to be super long, either.  
> PAY ATTENTION TO THE LINKS

They all got ready in time. Even though there was no dress code, everyone happened to look pretty elegant, even though they were just with friends, no official event to attend or people to impress.

Jimin’s jaw was hanging open when he came back to his boyfriend styled and dressed. His hair was  **[parted](https://pa1.narvii.com/6366/df4bbaea22fd864e79e1076bc397922300476608_hq.gif)** , slightly styled back on one side, he was keeping his make up to his B.B. cream and a bit eyeliner that he smudged neatly, giving himself a dangerously handsome look with one brow being on display. There must be some kind of tinted lip balm on his lips because they looked pouty and kissable, Jimin thought. Further than that, [**Jungkook**](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/ce/33/5e/ce335eb0cf98d2d51bf6bf95bc81038f.jpg) was wearing a white shirt, unbuttoned at the top and a black jacket on top. His tight black jeans put his muscular thighs on display and Jimin was considering being late to his own party and having some more fun with Jungkook.

“You look… stunning.” The younger finally voiced his thoughts, startling Jungkook who had been busy sticking his shirt into his pants.

“Tha- holy shit, says the right one!”  

Jungkook looked at [**Jimin**](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/78/f8/08/78f808348162b04daf08860f5cddf88d.jpg) who looked flawless. His blond hair looked fluffy, a black frilled shirt was closed up around his neck and he was wearing a velvet red jacket on top.

“Will you do some makeup for me as well?” Jimin asked, blinking cutely and how could Jungkook possibly say no to that? As Jungkook didn’t have much to use in Jimin’s shade, he just used a bit of eyeshadow for his eyes and brows to add teh little something to the otherwise perfect look. It didn’t take Jungkook long although he had never done anyone else’s makeup, but Jimin loved the result and thanked his boyfriend with a peck to his lips.

 

  
**[Seokjin](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/c2/4b/29/c24b29ba880e8dbfa965f47bf711168c.jpg),** [**Namjoon**](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DRABMW8VAAAeDTw.jpg) and [**Hoseok**](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/47/1f/93/471f9379847afb5fc1cbccf4dc2f33c1.jpg) were already heading towards the party in the van in the meantime. With the address and the code for the elevator that would lead them to the rooftop, given, they connected their phone to the bluetooth speaker and enjoyed the surroundings while waiting for the others. Yugyeom and Taehyung had yet to arrive, while Jungkook and Jimin were in former’s care to pick up Yoongi. Jimin had no idea what Jungkook’s best friend could look like, so he was quite nervous to meet him. Of course, worried and anxious as he was, he was trying to picture him, just to notice that he’s never been given a description of his looks. He imagined someone equally tall and bulky man with a lot more tattoos than Jungkook, as he thought to remember to hear about Yoongi having more.

“He’s nice, right?” Jimin asked, fidgeting with his chubby fingers. He was nervous.

“He’s grumpy, but as I said, he will be nice to you for the sake of his own ass not being kicked.” Jungkook smiled widely, making Jimin relax a little bit. At least his boyfriend was always able to make him laugh.  
Soon after, Jungkook was parking in front of an apartment complex and he could be calling him like any normal being who didn’t like to disturb others, but Jungkook honked the horn twice instead, making his arrival quite known to the whole street.

“Jungkook!” Jimin scolded and reached over to slap Jungkook’s thigh.  
Not even a minute later the glass door was pushed open by a seemingly shorter man, shorter than Jungkook at least, who was looking incredibly handsome in Jimin’s eyes. He was wearing a [**black leather jacket**](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/e9/90/2a/e9902a473f4e1156fc15150a027359f7.jpg) over a black shirt and black ripped jeans with black boots. A black pair of [**glasses**](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/f2/72/7d/f2727d019923051fa03a49d87cc69571.jpg) sat on his nose which was decorated by a ring, one that Jimin usually only saw on bulls. But it looked nice on him. Letting his eyes travel over his frame, he noticed the choker and tattoo on his hand that looked like an  **[Egyptian](http://garfinckel.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/geschwister-tattoo-motive-beste-ideen-lifestyle-synonym-in-hindi-hand-tattoos.jpg) ** dog to him and if he was honest, he would have probably avoided talking to him if he accidentally met him on the street.

“So? What’s your impression, Jiminnie?” Jungkook asked amused, looking back and forth between his boyfriend and best friend.

“Intimidating..” Jimin mumbled honestly, looking over at Jungkook who only laughed.

Yoongi arrived at the car in a heartbeat and slipped into the backseat, about to fasten his seatbelt, when he spotted Jimin.

“I thought you’d come alone!” He blurted out, looking from one to the other, then down at himself. “Uhm, abort mission, I am underdressed, lemme get changed!” Yoongi said, but Jungkook wouldn’t have that and started the engine, pulling the car back to the road.

“You look fine, hyung.” He nodded with a smile, looking at him through his rear-mirror.

“Hi, nice to meet you!” Jimin then properly turned around and smiled widely at him because hearing Yoongi’s voice, he didn’t sound as intimidating as he looked and after all he as well wanted to make a good first impression.

“Jimin-ssi, hi! Nice to meet you, too. Sorry, I thought I would meet you there..” Yoongi apologized, awkwardly ruffling through his black hair that had the same kind of good-looking-messy-look Jungkook usually wore.

“It’s not a problem and don’t worry, there is no dress code, so as long as you feel comfortable, it’s good!” He chuckled, his eyes turning into the little crescents Jungkook had spent hours cooing over and Yoongi now understood why.  
“Dude, you were right all the time.” Yoongi just mumbled, averting his gaze from the angelic sight of Jimin to look at the back of Jungkook’s head instead and as if it was a secret language, Jungkook seemed to understand and laughed, leaving Jimin puzzled.

 

 

Half an hour they arrived at the designated location and made their way up in the elevator.

“I hope it’s just as good as the pictures showed!” Jimin giggled excitedly, pulling on Jungkook’s pinky who made eye contact with Yoongi, his grin as wide as it could be and it warmed the older’s heart to see his best friend so happy, even if, to him, dating Jimin has been the most impossible thing for the longest time.  
A minute later and their ears suffering from the pressure, the door opened, revealing the terrace that was just like Jimin had imagined it to be. A pool in the middle, comfortable benches and chairs around and then the lounge area around the unoccupied bar with the small buffet, consisting of some fruits, desserts, pizza and chicken wings, just like Jimin ordered, everything still well hidden beneath lids.  
“Yah, Jiminie! This place is amazing, thank you!” Namjoon called when he noticed the presence of the younger.

“I’m happy you’re enjoying it!” Jimin smiled widely because all he truly wanted was them all to enjoy the evening. “Taetae is not here, yet? Let me call him!” With that said, Jimin walked over to the corner of the rooftop, having the perfect view across Seoul, while dialing his best friend’s number. They were located in a business district of Seoul and as it was past working hours, there were only a handful of lights around that were still lit and Jimin realized there was no one they could bother with their music and talks up here.

“Chimmy?” Taehyung picked up.

“Where are you, buddy?”

“In the cab, you know.. I had to look good today.” He said and Jimin could practically hear his smirk.

 

“Yugyeomie!”

Jimin turned around at the name and saw the handsome and tall Yugyeom, dressed in a suit, his brown-reddish hair complimenting his tan, being greeted with an excited [**hug**](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/f6/20/07/f62007f88aa841003a3fd74312994512.jpg) by Jungkook. His stomach made all funny things at the sight of his boyfriend hugging his ex-lover, but Jimin tried to control his jealousy. He continued watching them, though and decided he wouldn’t want them to be alone for too long.

“How are you, Kooks?” Yugyeom asked, taking his hand off the other’s shoulder.

“Good! Couldn’t be better, what about you?”

“I’m good, looking forward to the party. This place is pretty nice. Where’s your babe?”

Jungkook turned around and pointed at Jimin who was phoning Taehyung, making Jimin’s heart stop for a second and Yugyeom waved politely and with a soft smile. Jimin hesitated for a second, before he waved his hand back and flashed a smile at him.

“Is Taehyung-ssi not here, yet?” Yugyeom turned back to look at Jungkook.

“Jiminnie is calling him at the moment.”

“Jiminnie…” Yugyeom laughed, hitting Jungkook’s shoulder, before Jungkook turned him around fast enough to slap his butt which he quickly regretted. Running away from him then, Yugyeom and his long legs were faster and the slap Jungkook earned was echoing all the way to North Korea, Jimin thought. Their relationship was too cute, he figured he would have to live with the slight jealousy burning in the pit of his stomach. He was trusting Jungkook with all he had, he just couldn’t help the thought of how much taller and prettier and nicer Yugyeom probably was.

“Yugyeom-ssi just arrived, as you might hear.” Jimin informed Taehyung.

“Aw shit, I’m gonna be there very soon! See you, Chimmy!”

Jimin shoved all negative thoughts aside as he put his phone back to his pocket and made his way towards Yugyeom and Jungkook, greeting him with a ‘hi’.

“Taehyung will arrive shortly.” He told them, more towards Yugyeom than anyone else and he seemed to be more than just a little excited about that.

Jungkook put an arm around Jimin’s waist to pull him closer, obviously possessive, but Jimin didn’t mind and so did Yugyeom. Looking from one to the other, he spoke up. “You know… I am happy you actually got his attention. I would have never thought you’d end up with your all time crush, but I wish you two the best.”

While Jimin was blushing and thanking him shyly, Jungkook had a wide and proud smile on display, pulled Jimin even closer and pressed a kiss to his chubby cheek.

Jimin, more or less the host of this party, was looking around to see whether the others were alright as well, just to see that Yoongi had already perfectly adapted himself and was comfortably chatting with Namjoon. His eyes travelled to Hoseok and the way he was looking at the newcomer and Jimin wondered why he seemed so doubtful of strangers. Was it the fact they both were tattooed that he despised them so much? Something in the way he was looking at Yoongi was different, Jimin thought, but couldn’t name it and so he let it slip and averted his gaze back to Jungkook.

“By the way, guys! I ordered pizza, chicken wings, dessert and all sorts of alcohol for today, so let the party begin?” Jimin announced, being met by cheerful answers of his friends.

“This is what I waited for!” Seokjin said and made his way towards the buffet, closely followed by Jimin who helped him taking the lids off. Of course Seokjin was the first to try everything and he even shared his food with Namjoon.

 

 

As promised, it took Taehyung a few minutes to arrive at the place and he needed another call with Jimin, as he forgot the code for the elevator. Then the moment was here which wasn’t only anticipated by Taehyung and Yugyeom, but also Jimin and Jungkook.

When the glass door opened, [**Taehyung**](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/28/77/8a/28778a686a5af130212a8f0a93c4fc4d.jpg) came in as if he was on a catwalk, his freshly cut  **[mullet](https://78.media.tumblr.com/0859832ed1b61bb571e3eae6971065af/tumblr_p7wuogKkDO1w8ow8jo2_400.gif)** brown. He was wearing a white shirt along with a black pants and and Gucci slippers at which sight Jungkook was painfully reminded of the time Taehyung had threatened to hit him with them if he ever happened to hurt Jimin.

As soon as Yugyeom’s and Taehyung’s eyes met, the latter’s lips tugged up into a wide smile, while Yugyeom’s was of rather shy nature.

The couple watched them curiously with their fingers intertwined.

“Kim Yugeom-ssi..” Taehyung whispered in his deep voice, his hand reaching out for Yugyeom to put his in it and once he did, Taehyung kissed the back of it along with a little bow like you’d do for royals, before offering his arm.

“My god, what is this?” Jungkook commented dryly, frowning.

“I don’t know this guy.” Jimin replied, head leaning against Jungkook’s shoulder as he kept his eyes on the two, curious as he was.

Yugyeom and Taehyung then went to the bar where they got themselves something to drink and Jungkook and Jimin soon followed without interrupting them.

“I really missed you, Minnie..” Jungkook leaned in to Jimin to make sure he would still hear him above the music in the background.

“So did I, bunny!” He replied with a chuckle, took his arm and pulled him towards the handrail which he leant against, looking up at Jungkook. A long gaze was shared, before Jungkook took the drinks off their hands and set them to the ground, not too close to make sure even the clumsy Jimin wouldn’t knock them over. Once their hands were free, Jungkook’s came to rest on Jimin’s hips and Jimin’s on his Jungkook’s chest.

“Isn’t it funny how there was no dress code but everyone dressed up?” The smaller commented, fingers running over the material of his suit.

“We all wanted to be pretty for you and your party.” Jungkook said, smiling softly.

Their eyes met and their lips soon followed. The kiss they shared was soft but deep, innocent, yet full of trust.

 

“I can’t believe they’re bringing us to a damn rooftop in nowhere just to fuck in front of our eyes.” Hoseok complained with a groan and took a sip of his sprite.

“First of all, they’re kissing, dicks are still inside their pants, so they’re not even close to fucking. Second of all, if you’re that dramatic, at least drown your anger with some good shit.” Yoongi barked and gave him a cup of vodka mixed with Red Bull.

“And you are?” Hoseok frowned, looking at him in disgust.

“Are you dumb or is this a way to tell me to stay away from your business, because I’ve been next to you for the past thirty minutes.”

Hoseok just looked at him, took the drink and emptied it.

“No need to prove yourself though, you’ll be drunk in no time, softie.” Yoongi teased, a smirk creeping up his lips.

“Who says I’m a softie?”

“Does being an idol rapper make you a bad boy?”

“Does being a tattoo artist make you one?”

Yoongi snickered, he liked the tension that was building up between them.

“So you’re not a softie?” Yoongi again asked, strolling towards the bar to pour them both a new drink. Hoseok followed.

“Am not.”

“Interesting.”

“Not believing me?”

“Not really.”

Yoongi handed him his refilled glass with a challenging grin.

“Didn’t you say I don’t need to prove anything?” Hoseok raised his brows and took a few sips of his drink. “Then why do I feel like you want me to, suddenly?”

Yoongi only shrugged.

“God, you’re a pain in the ass.”

“You’re quite unsocial, aren’t you? All facade this ‘I’m your hope I’m your sunshine shit?’”

“Shut up, what do you know?”

“Right, I’m out of your league, right?” Yoongi asked, the smirk never leaving his lips.

“God why are you so annoying? Can’t you shut up?”

“Make me..”

Hoseok squinted his eyes at the male, but didn’t hesitate much longer. He grabbed Yoongi by his nape and crashed their lips together and as if that was what Yoongi had always wanted, he kissed him back with passion, his first curling in his shirt, pulling him closer. Their kiss didn’t just end there, both of the males pulled the other closer until there was no distance left between them, but now their clothes seemed to be a burden.  
“Come with me…” Hoseok mumbled and Yoongi didn’t even question it. He took the hand that was offered and followed him down to the garage and onto the backseat of their van…

 

“They are not..” Jimin frowned and turned to look at Jungkook who had his brows knitted, not quite sure if he was amused or angered that Yoongi was getting laid by the man who made his life miserable for as long as he has been with his boyfriend.

“I’m afraid they are, Minnie..”

 

 

Getting over the first shock, the couple decided to enjoy the evening with their friends and even though Taehyung and Yugyeom seemed to be in their own world as well, the six of them had a lot of fun. Eventually Hoseok and Yoongi came back around an hour later, both a little sweaty and messed up, but apart from staring at them in disbelief, no one said anything.

The more alcohol they had in their systems, the funnier it was and eventually they ended up in the heated pool, Jungkook and Jimin first. By now Diminie was back and a little more demanding than the previous night. Constantly clinging to his front, Jungkook didn’t mind it because for once he enjoyed the closeness, twice Jimin was as light as a feather in the water and thrice, he had the perfect excuse to cup Jimin’s buttock all the time.

“Diminie chu!” The smaller demanded, wrapping his arms tightly around Jungkook’s neck and who was he to not give in. Jungkook turned around and pressed Jimin against the edge of the pool, glad the water wasn’t deep, so he could stand perfectly fine. This time, however, a simple kiss didn’t seem to be enough for Jimin and the few pecks quickly turned into a hot make out session.  
“I swear to fucking god, if you fuck in the water now I will murder you!” Yoongi cursed as he climbed in, not bothering to take of the black shirt he was wearing along with some lose gray swim shorts.

“Says the one who is probably covered in dried sperm or something.” Jungkook countered, making Diminie squeal in disgust, while the others were laughing, except for Yoongi who was ..blushing?

“Shut up. Am not!” He protested quietly, but no one was really convinced of that when he kept sitting on the edge with only his feet inside the water.

Hoseok only made it worse when he sat down next to him, kissed his cheek and said “He is”

“You traitor!” Yoongi scowled and pushed him into the water.

Namjoon joined the couple as well and Jin was still unsure whether he wanted to be in a pool with two other couples or soon-to-be couples who were close to making out. But when Namjoon reached his hands out for Seokjin and the older approached him, he couldn’t say no. Namjoon held Seokjin’s sides and when the latter was about to sit down to climb in, Namjoon just lifted him into the water and Jimin felt like watching Dirty Dancing looking at them.  
“Dey are sucha cuuuute couple, bunny!” Diminie slurred, making Jungkook hold him closer so Jimin could rest his head on his shoulder and look at them a little longer.

“Just like we are!” He replied with a soft chuckle, caressing the small of his back with his thumb. Handling Diminie was a whole task because Jimin was a grown man and made his needs quite obvious at the moment, but the next moment he was acting like a clingy child, just like now and it was utterly confusing for the older.

 

 

Unbothered by all that, Yugyeom and Taehyung took the chance to remain rather unseen and sat down at the bar.

“So you and Jungkook really dated?” Taehyung asked after they both clinked their glasses and took a sip.

“Yeah, we’ve dated for a bit more than a year, if I remember correctly.” Yugyeom laughed softly.

“Jungkook and I don’t really have a lot of things in common..” Taehyung stated, a small smile indicating that he was curious as to what Yugyeom liked about him.

“Well, you both are beautiful men, but that’s not all I’m looking at. Jungkook and I have been friends before we started dating and you.. well to be fair you’re fucking perfect, Mr. GUCCI.” Yugyeom admitted, laughing shyly.

“Aish, you!” Taehyung laughed, looking down in his glass and how the strawberry floated around in the juice he was having.

“I just like you whenever I stumble across a new poster or see an interview. I like how you try to be serious but end up being the most adorable dork ever. The duality is amazing.” Yugyeom explained further, sipping his prosecco.

“You’ve got quite a good duality as well. Look at you being all shy and cute now but then you’re that dangerously hot man on stage as soon as a beat hits your body, bye.” He laughed and Yugyeom only blushed more.

“Anyways..” Taehyung put his glass down and turned to look at Yugyeom properly. “I’d like to take you out on a date. Only the two of us, not a bunch of drunk and horny idiots.”

“I’d love to!”

Taehyung flashed his boxy smile at him and took his phone out to check his schedule. “I’m free for the next two days.” He said, looking up at Yugyeom.

“The next two days it is then..” Yugyeom agreed, making Taehyung laugh this time.

The two remained at the bar for the longest time, from time to time interrupted by someone loud and wet who wanted to keep their alcohol level high, before stumbling back into the pool. When it was too cool outside, Yugyeom and Taehyung decided to call it a night. While Taehyung was the only one who didn’t have any alcohol at all and Yugyeom the one who had sobered up after his one drink, it was on them to pull the others off the pool and stop Jungkook from giving in when Diminie had thrown his own shorts off the pool and was clinging to him naked. It was like taking care of kids with the only difference that they were heavier and harder to manhandle, but eventually they managed it and while Taehyung drove the van, Yugyeom followed in them Jungkook’s car. Of course Jin had brought all boxes he could find to make sure that no food would go to waste and they would have some the next day. After they made sure they arrived at the house safely, Taehyung and Yugyeom decided to borrow Jungkook’s car and drive up the hills to watch the sunrise.

 

 

 


	46. Chapter 46

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the fight.  
> a shorter chapter, please do the poll!

 

Even though Jungkook has been drinking as well, he was once again up earlier than Jimin. Struggling to put on some pants and skip the boxers, he made his way over to the kitchen to check whether there was some coffee, before disappearing into the bathroom for a bit. When he came back, Taehyung was there slurping  _ his coffee _ , looking all relaxed and fresh. 

“Morning.” Jungkook mumbled, but didn’t miss to flash him a wide smile. It wasn’t worth being addressed, so he just prepared a new one. 

“Morning. Oh? Was that yours? Sorry. Made it to bed safely?” Taehyung asked, the sleepiness in his voice making it even deeper and raspier. 

“Yeah, no worries. I think so, quite blurry the memories of the last night.” He admitted with a little grin.

“Did you have sex?” Taehyung wiggled his eyebrows with his boxy grin on display.

“I think so..” 

“So,” Taehyung started, taking another few sips, “He is alright? He’s over what happened?”

“What do you mean?” Jungkook frowned and froze in place, the coffee that was ready long forgotten.

“He’s not like you know.. traumatized or anything? I mean Hoseok didn’t hurt him physically, so-”

“What the fuck are you talking about?!” Jungkook straightened up and even Taehyung felt intimidated.

“Morning!” Namjoon and Yugyeom came in at the same time, although the men took notice of them, they were too focused on  _ this _ .

“Shit, you didn’t know?”

“Fuck it Taehyung, I am not going to repeat myself, spill it!” Jungkook barked and took a step towards the latter who ducked away. 

“Re-remember the night you came to the hotel? Whe-where I threatened you? Jimin came running towards me because Hoseok-hyung was drunk and tried to... touch him. He said he woke up with him on top, grinding…” Taehyung hesitantly spoke, insecurely looking between Jungkook and the other two, Namjoon obviously shocked as well. 

Jungkook couldn’t believe what he had just heard. Of course he has been suspicious, never that sure what Hoseok was planning or even wanting. To him it was obvious from the beginning that his boyfriend’s band member had a problem with him, it didn’t take him too long to understand that he was jealous. The lies Hoseok had told Jimin about him still dating Yugyeom, using Jimin in any way already got the best of him. He would have loved to make his point very clear back then already, may it have been threads or violence, he didn’t care, he had no respect for this man, but for the sake of saving his relationship, he had had better things to do that day. After that he was just glad that he and Jimin were okay and that was all that mattered. But this was definitely too much. It only made it worse that it was his boyfriend they were talking about, but even if it wouldn’t have been Jimin, doing something against someone’s consent has always been something that worked Jungkook up in no time and it already occurred a few times that Jungkook speared woman he had never seen from gross men hitting on them in the night.

 

“This son of a bitch!” Jungkook hissed, turned on his heels towards the rooms, without even knowing which one was hoseok’s. 

“Jungkook, don’t!” Namjoon exclaimed, but the younger wasn’t to be stopped. Namjoon was quick to switch. If he had to get rid of his anger, he at least wanted him to give it to the right and he was just about to run into Namjoon’s and Seokjin’s bedroom where Seokjin must have been following his beauty rituals at the moment which meant he was naked or at least half naked.

“Not this! The other!” He added, sparing Seokjin to be spotted half naked again. He was the leader and it was also his duty to protect the members, but from a lover’s side, he could as well understand Jungkook and his anger about someone touching his boyfriend, so he decided to follow to interfere in case it got too much. He himself was upset and disappointed in Hoseok, after all he thought they were best friends and family.

 

Jungkook almost ran the door down at the attempt to open it. Yoongi and Hoseok jumped away from each other when they were caught in a compromising situation with Hoseok lying between Yoongi’s legs, Jungkook’s best friend looking sweaty and red that he, for a little moment, wondered whether the two even slept at all. Shaking those thoughts off, Jungkook didn’t hesitate to burst over to his target, one hand pressing him down to the mattress, a knee keeping him in place while a fist flew his way, hitting him right on his left cheek. 

“Jungkook, what the fuck?!” Yoongi yelled, quickly grabbing his boxers to then jump up, but before he could keep his friend from beating the shit out of him, Jungkook hit him again. As if Hoseok knew what this was for, he didn’t try to fight back, didn’t say a word either. 

“You piece of shit, don’t you ever dare to touch Jimin again or I will fucking break all of your bones!” He yelled and Yoongi’s hands which had been attempting to grab his best friend’s arm to stop him had loosened. 

“Wait a second, what has he done?” Yoongi frowned and took a step back. There was no way he tolerated any kind of abuse, even if he had found a liking in the other. 

 

“Jungkook, stop it. It’s enough, you’re gonna break his jaw!” Namjoon interfered, but Jungkook couldn’t care less. He was just about to hit jim a fourth time, when Jimin appeared. 

“Jungkookie!” Whether it was the shock that made his voice get stuck in his throat or the sleepiness, Jimin’s voice was barely above a gasp.

That was all he needed to come back to his senses, his angel’s voice calling his name, knowing that although he’s gotten hurt, he was alright, Jungkook was there to protect him. He hated himself for not seeing any signs, for not being there when Jimin had gotten hurt, from not doing better at protecting his boyfriend, his whole world, but he was going to try harder, that was for sure.

Jungkook backed off, looking down at Hoseok whose nose was bleeding, but still looked in place, his lip busted. He was coughing a little blood, nothing too serious of that Jungkook was sure. He took another step back and calmed his raging heart, breathing in deeply, wiggling his fingers which suffered only half as much as the one who was met by his knuckles, but they were still going to hurt later.

Jungkook turned around to Jimin who looked sleepy, his cheeks puffy, yet his eyes were wide in shock. 

“Why didn’t you tell me, baby?” He asked concerned. He was also hurt, but in no way was he trying to blame Jimin or make him feel bad about it. 

“I… wanted to ignore it, I guess, act like it didn’t happen?” He spoke softly, but voice was still raspy with sleepiness. 

 

All eyes were on Jimin now and even Seokjin had joined them by the door, shocked to see the blood on Jungkook’s knuckle and Hoseok covering his face in pain. Seokjin was too soft, too full of love to understand why anyone would use violence and it got to him, Namjoon could see that. He saw the troubled expression in his love’s face, something he despised so much. Trying to not get in between Jungkook and Jimin, he squeezed himself past them to wrap his arms tightly around Seokjin’s broad shoulders, pulling his head against his chest, Namjoon’s lips pressed against his forehead. 

“Wh-what happened?” Seokjin gasped. 

“Let’s go back to bed, babyboy, I will tell you and cuddle you, okay? It’s gonna be alright, I promise!” He cooed, rocking him in his arms, before leading him back to their bedroom.

 

Jungkook replied with a tight hug and a kiss to his temple. “I’m always here for you,  _ always _ . No matter what it is about, I want you to know that I love you and that I’ll try my very best to help you in any way you want me to, Jiminie! I won’t allow anyone taking advantage of your big heart or hurting you..” he sighed and finally Jimin was hugging him back, his forehead leaning against his boyfriend’s shoulder. 

“Can we shower?” Jimin asked, nudging him with his nose. 

“Anything you want!” Jungkook replied with a soft smile, hoping Jimin was not asking because his cute nose was met by a weird smell, as he was so close to his armpits. 

Jungkook lifted Jimin up and carried him to the bathroom, leaving the others behind. 

 

“Don’t do that again, bunny!” Jimin pleaded once they had turned the water off to sope each other up. 

“Why?”

“I don’t like violence. Even if he deserved it in a way, it’s scary to see you like that. So please don’t..”

Jungkook nodded, his lips pressed in a thin line. 

“I promise to try, baby. But I will fight for you and protect you from all evil!”

Jimin smiled widely, as he closed the distance and snuggled against Jungkook’s chest. 

“I love you, bunny. More than anything.” He whispered. 

Jungkook’s chest swelled at that, his eyes tearing up a little. “I love you too, Minnie. More than anything in the entire universe.”

 

 

Please help me by answering these questions (multiple answers possible): <https://www.strawpoll.me/16314666>


	47. Chapter 47

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YO I AM BACK.   
> You guys wanted fluff and smut, you'll get the first half now, the other in the next chapter so people can skip it!  
> things are going to be a lil more exciting from now on i think. a few more filler chapters before things are gonna explode lol

Once the others were gone, Yoongi turned back at Hoseok who was now sitting on the bed, holding his bleeding nose and cursing quietly. One side of Yoongi wanted to go and hug him, but the rational one knew his best friend wasn’t someone who just ran around beating people up. He knew as well Jimin got the best of him, but he still had to know what was going on. 

“What was that?” Yoongi finally spoke up after a few minutes.

“Your friend beating me..” Hoseok replied dryly and hissed after touching his nose.

“I saw that, but he’s not a violent person.”

“I wouldn’t say that now.”

“Hoseok, shut up!” Yoongi scoffed. “What did you do to Jimin?”

“Okay I fucked up, okay? I’ve liked him for a long time, then Jungkook came and I hated him. I didn’t want to them to be together. Once night I got wasted and we slept in one room. I had a lot of fantasies about him, okay.. so I don’t know why I did that.. He was sleeping and I lied on top of him.”

“What the fuck!?” Yoongi felt horrible thinking about how intimate they’d been, that he allowed Hoseok to touch him. “Were you planning to rape him?” He dared to ask, but did he really want to know the answer?

“Hell no!! I’m really sorry, okay? I am embarrassed and it opened my eyes.. I felt horrible when I realized what I’ve done there and I really shouldn’t drink so much ever again..I am happy that Jimin is happy now, that’s all I want, really. I know I’ve been an asshole and I am sorry.. I deserved it.” 

Yoongi took a moment to just look at him. Did he want to believe him? Yes, he did, but could he? As rational as Yoongi usually was, he also couldn’t deny the fact that he had finally met someone he liked in a long time. However, he turned around and left, which made Hoseok sigh in disappointment, more about himself than anyone else. 

“I guess I deserve that as well..” Hoseok sighed and plopped down into his pillows, hissing at the pain that jolted through his head.   
Yoongi, in the meanwhile, went into the kitchen, unbothered by the looks of Yugyeom and Taehyung and checked for some ice in the fridge. Coming back with it wrapped in a towel, Yoongi climbed back in bed, catching Hoseok by surprise and placed it on his nose as carefully as possible.   
“You’re an idiot, but I like you.” Yoongi admitted shyly leaning in to peck his lips very gently, without touching his nose. “Jungkook really punished me with this as well. No more making out with you.” He pouted and nuzzled his head into Hoseok’s chest instead, his arms wrapping around the other’s body.

“It’ll be over soon, hopefully!” Hoseok chuckled softly and Yoongi nodded.

 

* * *

 

 

The following days and weeks were mostly spent by the couples alone, but they would often come together for meals or such. It was a matter of time before Yugyeom and Taehyung and Hoseok and Yoongi became official, first sooner than latter. 

For Jungkook and Jimin especially, everything seemed to work out very well. Jungkook was with him whenever he could, sometimes Jimin felt even brave enough to come with him to work where he would chill close to Jungkook and in most cases none of them even knew who he was, so they didn’t bother at all and were just there to get their tattoo done. Jimin liked this kind of freedom and anonymity a lot, it was something he had been missing ever since JRJ had become more famous.    
Jungkook now even worked out with Jimin. On the one hand he considered it a couple activity, when in truth he also wanted to have a watch over his boyfriend, prevent him from overdoing it. All together Jimin had done great in the last time, Jungkook felt proud. There was still an insecure feeling lingering in him as if he thought “now this was too easy, wasn’t it?”, but for now Jungkook wanted to be optimistic and think Jimin would be on a good way to becoming healthier. As far as he was concerned, Jimin had not been skipping meals, had managed to control his urge to shove everything edible inside or force it out. Jungkook was aware of the dependence Jimin had on him right now, but for the moment he didn’t mind, he thought it was okay and if he was honest, he even liked it. 

 

* * *

 

 

It was the 22nd of June when the boys decided to go shopping, it was Jimin’s wish to do so, against Jungkook’s concerns. He just really didn’t want his angel to be cornered by fans who might eventually even scare or touch him, he’s seen enough from airports in fantaken videos to know what they were capable of, but he wasn’t going to disobey and so Jungkook found himself driving Jimin through the high end clothing shops of Seoul. 

What he had been wondering all day long though was if Jimin was aware of it being a special day for them, because Jungkook surely had set a countdown to this day and was super excited about it. It came in handy that Jimin wanted to go to BVLGARI, a brand that originally started off with jewelry, while Jimin was checking out the clothes, Jungkook threw a first glance at the rings they had. 

  
“May I help you?” A kind mid-aged woman asked him with a soft smile. 

Jungkook looked up at her and flashed a smile back.

Although he was in a shop he would normally not visit because Jungkook didn’t like spending that much money on clothes, he was actually treated with equal respect, he liked that. Maybe he was full of prejudices thinking that way by now, but he was used to people looking at him for his tattoos and piercings, so he would have expected the same here. However, the nice lady seemed to not care about his looks or assumed he couldn’t afford the items they were selling. 

“Ah.. these rings are pretty..” Jungkook whispered, turning around and throwing a quick glance at Jimin whose whole attention was on a jacket and a second employee, who seemed to understand what Jungkook was about to do, made sure Jimin would not turn around and see him.    
“They are wedding rings for men.” She informed him with a soft smile. “Is it supposed to be a present?”

“Yeah..” Jungkook said and suddenly grew a little shy in front of her.    
“How long have you two been together?” She asked and caught Jungkook by surprise. Ah, he was being too obvious again, wasn’t he?

“I’m obvious, right?” He laughed shyly. “It’s our 100 days anniversary!” He announced proudly, flashing her a wide smile. It was a bit weird to be addressed that directly, as he was used to people looking down at homosexuality or even denying its existence, but it seemed like this woman was completely different and Jungkook found it refreshing.

“Ah, apart from you always looking over your shoulder to make sure he is not looking, you look very in love from the moment you entered. It’s just in your eyes!” She explained and got him even more flustered. 

“I would like to buy them..” Jungkook said, pointing at a pair of rings silver, with a black, the other with a rose golden line in the middle and a single diamond.

“One of each color?” She asked and opened the glass he was looking at.    
“Ah.. no, actually, can I get two of the black ones?”

“Of course, do you need a fitting?”

“I barely wear rings, so yes for me and for him it should be a 12.” He said, he had done his researches ahead.    
The woman nodded and then picked out something with what she quickly measured Jungkook’s finger with, after he told her the ring was supposed to go on his left ring finger.    
“Do you want an engraving?” She asked.

“Which costs extra right? Anyways, I am not planning on letting him go, so this is an investment for life!” Jungkook caught himself rambling and pressed his lips into a thin line once he realized that. “ _ Jimin _ for my ring and  _ Jungkook _ for his.” He said.

The employee gave him a notebook and a pen and let him write it down. Jungkook thought for a moment, before he then wrote ‘Jimin’ and ‘Jungkook’ romanized on the paper and shoved it back to her.    
“Are you sure about his size?” She asked and Jungkook panicked. What if he fucked up? What if the ring wouldn’t fit? He couldn’t just go there and ask Jimin to try it or, even better, steal a ring to compare it. 

Jungkook sighed and looked around, seeing a bigger ring that was Jimin’s style. “Do you have this one in a 12? I can show it to him. I don’t know how this works here, so excuse me if I do you wrong.”

The woman shook her head and smiled softly. “Don’t worry. We do have rings in different sizes, but we can also fit them individually. But of course it’s better to try them if the chance is given.” She explained and handed her the ring in the given size in an little ring box.    
“Can you give me another? Just any..”

The woman seemed to be a little confused, but handed him a black matte one with the brand name engraved and a single square diamond.    
“Ba..” Well now that everyone knew, it really didn’t matter anymore. They were the only ones in the store anyways. “Baby look, I thought you might like this!”  Jungkook approached Jimin and gave him the thicker ring, while he sat down next to him, looking at the random ring the woman had given me, not too bad. 

Jimin turned around as soon as he heard Jungkook’s voice, the jacket he’s been looking at for the past ten minutes, long forgotten when it was about his boyfriend requesting his attention and if it wasn’t for the attentive employee to catch the jacket, Jimin would have flat out dropped it. 

He’s like a kid sometimes, Jungkook thought, his attention span can be so short. 

Jimin carefully took the ring from the boy and tried it on his middle finger where it didn’t fit, to then slide it on his right ring finger. As it seemed a little tight there as well, he changed it to the other hand and was now looking at it critically.  _ At least it fits, that’s all I needed. _

“I don’t know, Jungkookie.. I like it, but I came here for clothes, what do you think about the jacket?”

“I think it’s lovely, Minnie! Why don’t you try it on?” He smiled softly, offering his palm for him to give him back the ring and stick it back into the padding of the box.   
“I will!” Jimin smiled widely, totally oblivious to this sudden ring fitting, but then he saw the ring Jungkook was looking at. 

For a moment Jungkook’s heart stopped beating when he thought he was caught. “And you, planning to marry yourself?” Jimin then laughed, after leaning in to take a closer look and Jungkook released a shaky laugh as well.

“Sure, gotta love myself.” He joked back and then got up to return the two rings. 

Both, Jungkook and the employee, nodded and she then disappeared with the actual rings to the back of the store. Now the older only hoped Jimin would find another piece that would catch his attention equally long or otherwise he would have a problem with the rings. 

For once the gods were with him because once Jimin came outside wearing the jacket, he looked at himself in the mirror for a good five minutes, repeatedly turning from one to the other side and Jungkook found that ridiculously entertaining.    
“I don’t understand the question..” Jungkook blurted out at one point, making Jimin look at him with a huge invisible question mark above his head.

“That’s good, because no one asked a question?” He said, confused. Was his boyfriend now totally delusional?

“You did! You’re asking yourself whether the jacket suits you and I don’t understand the question because you look fucking gorgeous..” Jungkook elaborated and shrugged his shoulders, getting up, closing the distance to around one meter and leaned against a pillar. 

Now Jimin was the one getting all flustered and he couldn’t help but approaching Jungkook and slapping him for being so cute in public.    
“You really think so?”

Jungkook frowned. “I..don’t understand the question? Of course I do!” 

But for whatever reason, Jimin was still not sure whether he really liked the jacket, he kept looking at himself for another five minutes. 

Jungkook didn’t try to rush him, he didn’t even take his eyes off him and apart from the obvious reason of him being totally mesmerized each time he was looking at Jimin in general, he also was worried to come off as bored which would be a problem, because then Jimin would want to leave and Jungkook had yet to pay and get the rings. 

When he saw the employee coming back with a smile, he got up. “I will think about marrying myself again, I’ll have another look at that ring,” and went to talk to her. She was showing him both rings and Jungkook couldn’t hold back that wide smile on his lips. He was positive Jimin would love it.    
“Okay lemme pay, before that boy storms off the store.”

She nodded with a little chuckle and took a moment to put them back into a couple ring box, before storing it into a small bag which Jungkook quickly shoved in his bag, after making sure Jimin wasn’t looking.

Quietly tipping something in her cash register, she then pointed at the price: 2.600.000 won. Jungkook almost choked on his spit and slapped himself mentally for living over his income only because he thought he’d had to spoil Jimin as much as he deserved it.

“Oh Shit…” Jungkook mumbled, making the cashier clear her throat and chuckle. 

“I’m sorry..” he quickly apologized, took his wallet out and handed her his credit card, once again scolding himself from postponing so many appointments that he had to touch his savings now. Jungkook was normally a responsible man, tattooing allowed him to have quite some money, but he still saved it up for bad times, future plans, etc. Luckily once Jimin and his band would have their comeback, he had his schedule packed as well. 

 

“Thank you for your purchase and I wish you two the best!” She bowed deeply and made Jungkook smile with wet eyes, excited for Jimin’s reaction. 

He then turned around to see Jimin still in that same damn jacket and decided as he had what he needed, he would now run out of patience as well. 

“So what about that jacket?” He asked, coming closer to stand behind him, looking at Jimin through the mirror. 

“Do you really like it?”

“Minnie, I love you to the moon and back but if need another hour to decide whether to buy this jacket, imma go home and sit my ass on my couch and order a pizza.” Jungkook playfully threatened, making Jimin softly box his side with his elbow. 

“Yah!” 

“Don’t use yah on me, little brat, I’m older!” Jungkook snickered and ruffled Jimin’s hair lovingly, then taking a walk through the clothes section as well. 

“Okay, I’ll take it!” Jimin announced confidently, disappeared into the cabin where he changed back into his black shirt and leather jacket and came out, going straight to the cash register to pay. 

“Thank god!” Jungkook groaned and followed along. 

“Hey, I’ve heard that!” Jimin complained and turned around, pouting and almost missed the step if it wasn’t for Jungkook to hold him.

“You were supposed to, now pay attention where you’re walking, will you?” Jungkook scolded him with a little pad to his butt and waited patiently for Jimin to pay, before he lead them back to his car. 

 

 

“So, what’s the next stop on your list, babe?” Jungkook asked, once the seat belt was fastened and the engine started, but Jimin was busy typing something on his phone. 

  
“Actually, let’s go home!” He suggested, surprising Jungkook.

“Was that jacket that expensive?” Jungkook joked and made Jimin laugh as well.

“No, I mean yes, but it’s getting really full now after work and I think I had enough of being social for today.” He explained. 

“Okay. Shall we go to my place?” He suggested and left the parking lot.

“No.. let’s go to mine!” Jimin demanded in a tone that told Jungkook he should obey, so he turned around and drove the way up to Jimin’s house. The younger didn’t plan to have such dominance in his voice, after all he planned a surprise for Jungkook and didn’t want to spoil it, but he’s always been bad at that anyways. 

The drive there was rather quiet with Jimin checking social medias, updating his personal twitter with a selfie he took a few days ago with the other members and Jungkook’s hand resting on his thigh. The older wondered why Jimin was so eager to go to his place, not Jungkook’s where they’d have their privacy, but then he thought maybe Jimin was aware of what day today was. 

 

Half an hour later Jungkook parked the car in front of the house and got up, walked around and opened Jimin’s door. With a wide smile, Jimin climbed out, walked to the door and unlocked it. The living room was dark, but candles on the floor, along with some rose petals lead the way and Troye Sivan’s “There for You” was playing. Jimin chuckled. He had told Seokjin music wasn’t really necessary but that they both loved Troye, so he guessed Seokjin just decided to act on his own.    
“Minnie what…” Jungkook gasped at the sight and took his shoes off in slow motion. 

Jimin turned around with a wide grin, took his hand and pulled him along, following the arrangement’s way and the smell. Jungkook’s stomach was rumbling at it. He couldn’t quite grasp what it was, but it smelled amazing. 

A moment later they arrived at the door. Although Jimin and Seokjin had been planning this for a while, he wasn’t sure how it would look like in the end, so he was equally nervous. He put his small and chubby hand his boyfriend loved so much on the handle and slowly opened it, revealing a big dinner table set for two with candles and roses, lids covering the plates.    
“Oh my god..who?” Jungkook exclaimed and squeezed himself past Jimin to enter his room. The smaller was quick to follow and closed the door behind him, throwing his jacket and cap on his bed, then running his hand through his hair. “Seokjin hyung!” 

“Wow.. he’s done so much for us already..” Jungkook mumbled and walked up to the table to take the lids off and put them aside. “Oh god.. it smells so good!” He sighed and rubbed his stomach in anticipation, making Jimin laugh. “So,” He then sat down opposed to Jimin with a little smirk, “you didn’t forget what day it is..” 

“How could I! It’s been 100 days with you, bunny!” Jimin said, smiling shyly and Jungkook swore he heard the angels sing at this angelic sight of him blushing, his glazed cheeks enhanced by the candlelight, his little crescents reflecting even more beautifully tonight. “Did you?”

“I didn’t.” Jungkook shook his head. “How could I.. you’re my whole world.” He spoke and reached his hand out to take the smaller one in his. 

“I..” Jimin started, but there was something sad in his voice that got the older worried. “..actually wanted to ask you whether we could get rings, but I noticed in all that time you didn’t wear a ring even once, so I thought it’d be useless to buy one..” He smiled softly, but it was a sad one that broke Jungkook’s heart. He wanted to jump up and run to his bag and give the ring to Jimin, but figured, even if they were already talking about it, it wasn’t the right time.

“I’m sorry babe. I thought we could get matching tattoos, but then again you’re an idol and you don’t even have one tattoo, so.. I guess we were both worrying. Now let’s enjoy the food first, shall we?” He suggested and Jimin nodded.

Dinner was once again not just about eating, but also about talking about their relationship, their goals in life and what else they wanted to do together. Jungkook told Jimin he would love to go to America and latter told him he would love to go to Tokyo for a private vacation. Both made a mental note to fulfill that dream as soon as possible. Jimin at least wanted to try to take Jungkook with him to the next world tour to America. 

 

An hour later all of the plates were empty and both of their bellies full. They decided to switch to the bed where Jungkook, for the sake of being comfortable, only in boxers and his t-shirt lied down first to then welcome the smaller in his arms. Both made it obvious that they were craving more closeness, the shared kisses were heated from the very beginning, but their bellies were too full to be  _ that _ active just yet. 

After a few minutes, Jungkook decided it was the right moment and struggled a little with Jimin on top of him, but then eventually got up to go to his bag. He opened the BVLGARI bag and took out the black ring box, inhaling deeply. When he turned around, Jimin was looking at him with the cutest anticipating expression Jungkook had ever seen on him and once again his breath hitched. By now he was certain being with Jimin would shorten his life expectancy and one day he might die from a heart attack because Park Jimin was the cutest man on the planet.

“What are you doing?” Jimin asked. He wasn’t dumb, he had figured Jungkook was acting a bit weird and he was leaving no space for the thought that he might have forgotten their anniversary, so Jimin was sure his boyfriend had a surprise for him, he just didn’t know what it was. 

Jungkook then walked over with a shy smile and got on his knees in front of the bed, right between Jimin’s legs. When latter saw the BVLGARI box, his eyes went wide. Yes, he had acted a bit weird with the ‘marrying himself’ talk, but he still couldn’t really estimate what he would have gotten. Maybe he had gotten Jimin the ring he let him try? After all he had liked it, just didn’t plan on buying more accessories. 

“I know you like rings, Minnie. Even though some say your fingers look even smaller when you wear them, I think it’s pretty.” Jungkook started with the bunny grin on display Jimin loved so much. 

He stared at his small hands and short fingers from both sides, figuring he wasn’t that wrong and that it really enhanced how short and chubby they were. 

“I do wear rings,  _ sometimes _ . But I would wear a ring for the rest of my life if it has a meaning!” Jungkook said and handed him the box, nudging him with it to urge him to open it. 

Jimin gasped as it was now obvious that he was really getting a couple ring with his boyfriend. His little hands were shaking in excitement, but he managed to open the box successfully and gasped again when they were revealed.

“Oh god, Jungkookie!” Jimin squealed and wiggled his legs, hugging him tightly that is how happy he was.    
“Aish, let me put it on first!” Jungkook gently scolded, hugged him back, but quickly broke the embrace. 

Jungkook then took Jimin’s out, making sure it was the right one and nodded happily when he saw the engraving. 

“Oh god!” Jimin squealed at the sight of the  _ ‘Jungkook’ _ on the inside of the ring and he slowly gave Jungkook his shaking hand, the other covering half of his face.

Jungkook quickly slid the ring on Jimin’s finger and then smiled up at him. He didn’t mind putting his own on himself with how nervous his boyfriend was, but he waited patiently. 

Jimin wasn’t even thinking about that, though. He quickly grabbed the ring and let his thumb run over his own name, then took Jungkook’s left hand in his and pushed the ring up on his ring finger. Closing the box, he put it aside and linked their left hands, a tear rolling down his cheek. 

Jungkook rushed to kiss it away, but was happy to taste that it wasn’t salty.

“Forever?” Jimin whispered and looked down into Jungkook’s eyes. 

“Forever, baby!” Jungkook promised without wasting a second. 

Both males leaned closer to seal their promise with a tender kiss. 


	48. Chapter 48

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> YO MY CHILDREN ITS ME  
> so listen this is gonna be 18+ you've seen it coming, so you've been warned. you won't miss much if you skip it

Jimin got up and pulled Jungkook along, then turned them around to make him sit and he would now kneel in front of him. He’s been thinking about doing this a lot recently, but was too shy in the end to try. After all he knew Jungkook was more experienced than him and he wanted to make him feel good, not embarrassing himself and making it weird for both.

Jimin smiled up at him when the older looked down in such a confused way and reached up to kiss him again, more daring, more passionately. Only then Jungkook seemed to get an idea of what Jimin was up to and the thought sent a shiver through his body.    
The smaller let his hands wander up the strong thighs until they’ve reached his belt, biting his lip. He slowly unbuckled it, opened the zipper and pressed his hand flat against Jungkook’s bulge, making him press his hips up for more, more contact, closeness, Jimin. Jimin smiled at the eagerness Jungkook was already showing and slid his fingers beneath the hem of his boxers, tugging on them. His boyfriend quickly got the hint, pushed his hips off the mattress and Jimin pulled his pants down to his knees, struggling a little when it was about getting the tight jeans over the muscular thighs. 

After a moment of hesitation, which the older seemed to sense, as he was putting his hand on his cheek and letting his thumb run over his cheek, Jimin’s eyes lowered to Jungkook’s crotch and he once again bit his lip. This time, however, he was confident enough to actually do it, so he brought his hand up to wrap it around the base and gave it a few slow strokes, before leaning in to press his plump lips against the tip. 

Jungkook watched whatever Jimin was doing and inhaled sharply at the first contact with the lips he had fallen in love with years ago. “Oh shit..” He cursed, before he exhaled slowly through gritted teeth. There were so many emotions bubbling inside him that it was hard to say which was the strongest. He certainly was excited because he would lie if he said he had never fantasized about those lips, about how good Jimin would look on his knees and how hot his tiny and chubby hand wrapped around his large member would look like. The realization that this was no longer a dream but the hard, well almost, reality, was causing his body to burn with arousal and love. Knowing the man he loved more than he ever thought to love someone was  _ his _ , sealed with promising couple rings, was making him weak, emotional, feel everything twice as much. 

Jimin, oblivious to the emotional mess his boyfriend was becoming, parted his lips, being encouraged by the reaction and brought his tongue out to gently swirl it around the head. Jimin soon got lost in pleasuring his boyfriend, sucking the tip gleefully, while Jungkook had long given up on somehow holding himself together. By now, he had lowered himself to his elbows, comfortable enough, but still able to watch Jimin, when his head wasn’t thrown back in pure bliss and it didn’t take Jimin long to get him fully hard. 

The more time passed, the more his length disappeared into the other’s wetness and only for a tiny moment Jungkook was worried about Jimin taking him too deeply as he certainly knew how well his gag reflex was working, but he hoped Jimin knew his limits. He shook his head as if to get rid of these misplaced and far from arousing thoughts and brought a hand down to Jimin’s hair, lovingly stroking it back and off his face.

The smaller pulled back after a while and resumed pumping his boyfriend, his lips and chin wet with his own saliva mixed with precum and he was looking at Jungkook, the arousal and longing obvious in his eyes. But as much as he wanted him inside, making him cum with his lips was his priority. 

 

“Come up..” Jungkook moaned, music to Jimin’s ears.    
“I want to make you feel good..” Jimin whined.

“You can, come up, babe.” 

He was fighting with himself, not willing to let go of his plan, but then again the older’s voice was gaining in dominance and there was nothing that made his limbs go more weak than Jungkook to show him this side of his. Jimin let go of what he was playing with, only go get pulled closer and undressed by Jungkook, both now wearing nothing but their couple rings. Before the smaller one knew, he was sitting on Jungkook’s face, lips attached to his butt cheeks and mumbled praises about how good he looked like that against his warm skin. Little slaps here and there, followed by soothing kisses and licks and his hot breath, before his lips and tongue were busy stimulating him. Jimin took a moment to cope with the pleasure, a choked moan escaping his throat, a shiver running through his body made his thighs tremble for a moment. Jungkook didn’t rush Jimin, he had him right where he wanted him, something he had fantasized too often about already. 

It didn’t take the smaller too long to resume doing what he had done before, his small hand circled back around the base to keep a steady grip, while his plump lips attached to the tip, sucking him again. Jungkook was pushed towards his limits by that, not sure if making Jimin feel good or getting the best blow job of his life did this to him. He took one hand back to play on Jimin’s nipple instead, knowing well that his boyfriend was able to have an orgasm without him touching his length and the way Jimin was squirming on top of him, daring to pull away so Jungkook had to strengthen his hold and pull him closer and deeper on his tongue, was showing just that.

A few minutes had passed in which they were secretly playing a game, both with the goal of making the other climax first and holding back themselves, but Jimin lost, much to the other’s liking. Jungkook’s hand let go of pinching his nipple and pressed him closer to his face, pulling his cheeks slightly apart because as tempting and sexy as this cause of death would be, he couldn’t allow Jimin’s strawberry butt to suffocate him just now. 

Jimin’s body was tensing up when his pleasure was at its peak and he had a hard time clinging to the last bit of self control that kept him from squeezing Jungkook’s head between his thighs. Instead he let go of him, his mouth wouldn’t want to work the way he wanted anymore, his fists curling into the sheets instead. Soft panting turned into vehement gasping and dragged out long moans when he finally released all over Jungkook’s chest, latter making sure that his boy would ride out his orgasm properly, while he himself was quite impatient to have his own. 

As soon as Jimin was able to move again, he shuffled down a bit in order to be able to take Jungkook deeper, smiling to himself at how swollen the tip looked and how it was already twitching in excitement and despair, before doing so. 

Jungkook arched his back at how hard Jimin was sucking him and it barely gave him time to warn him. “Ji-jiminie.. I’m.. cu-cuming..” He dragged out just in time, expecting him to pull back, but Jimin wasn’t having that. Pumping him faster, he had his lips firmly wrapped around his dick, his tongue swirling around it until he felt the first strings of the foreign liquid in his mouth. His tongue still, he made sure Jungkook was all happy and satisfied and when he felt the body beneath him relaxing as well, he slowed down until he stopped and climbed down. Jungkook was fast to move to give him an empty glass, looking at him with big eyes when he heard Jimin swallow while having their eyes locked. Jungkook blushed, but he swore it was the hottest thing he had ever witnessed. They then closed the distance and attacked each other’s lips at the same time and this was the day their kink to taste each other started..

 

* * *

 

“How needy am I when I say I want you?” Jungkook whispered only when they needed a break from kissing, their lips already red and swollen. 

“Very needy.. but I like it.. and I want you, too.” Jimin giggled and lapped his tongue over his rose tattoo and further down, not so accidentally licking the rest of his own cum, then bringing it up to Jungkook’s lips who eagerly sucked it off his tongue. He brought his fingers to the stretched hole and was easily able to slide two fingers into him, Jimin moaning desperately, rolling his hips against Jungkook’s body. 

It was a matter of minutes until both were ready and their bodies melted into one. Moans and gasped filled the air and not only thanks to the candles, but also the heat the couple was producing, all kinds of body fluids were shared, none of them bothering the other but only making them feel closer. It took a lot of Jungkook’s good will to make Jimin quieting down, but either his lips or his hands had to be reminder enough for him to remember he wasn’t alone in this big house. 

Another hour and many “am I horrible for still wanting you?”s and “I can’t get enough of you”s, both fell asleep in exhaustion as finally their minds  _ and _ bodies seemed satisfied. The sleep, however, didn’t last long. Jimin woke up, probably by Jungkook’s soft snores, Jimin had wondered whether he should tell him about it, yet again he found it so adorable when he was lying on his back, arms above his head, bunny teeth peeking out and it was also the perfect invitation for him to place his little head somewhere between his triceps and chest. Jimin’s own sweat has dried by now, but he still felt sticky and in need of a good shower. He sat up to walk over to the table and blow off the candles, after turning on his Brown light on his nightstand, then opened the window and then walked back to his boyfriend to softly kiss him awake. Neither a kiss to his chin, nose or forehead were enough, so he kissed his lips, one peck, a second, but it took a third for Jungkook to react, licking his lips and clicking his tongue as if someone had just placed food on his lips. Jimin chuckled and nuzzled his nose against his neck, forcing him to wake up. 

“We haven’t washed up, bunny. Let’s shower and put on clean sheets and go back to bed..” he whispered softly, repeatedly pecking his neck in between. The smaller pulled him up into a sitting position and laughed softly at how sleepy he looked. Barely able to open his eyes, his hair stuck out in all directions and his mouth was open as if he was about to fall back asleep. 

A lot of patting and pulling later, both males were brushing their teeth lazily, then took a shower which woke up Jungkook enough for him to be able to help the other redo the bed. Jimin then put the plates in the dishwasher, coming across Seokjin while doing so. The smaller couldn’t help but to hug his hyung tightly. “Thank you  _ so _ much. GIVENCHY it is!” Jimin promised, looking up at him with sparkling eyes. 

“You know that I would have done it without expecting anything in return. I like seeing you happy.” Seokjin said back, pulling back, while his hand wandered over Jimin’s arms until he reached his small hands which he took a hold of. 

“Still, I want to treat you!”

“I won’t say no to that!” 

Both males laughed softly and when Seokjin rubbed over his fingers, he noticed the warm metal. It wasn’t unusual for Jimin to wear rings, he was one of the people who made fun of him for that, but he would usually take them off for the shower and over night. His gaze dropped to the ring and he brought his left hand closer to his face to take a look at it, but Jimin’s teenager like giggle said it all. 

“From him?” He gasped and Jimin was about to answer, when Jungkook lazily waddled in from behind. 

“From me.” He confirmed, hand sliding down from Jimin’s shoulders to his middle to hug him and of course Seokjin also saw  _ his _ ring. 

“You two are adorable, get out of my way!” Seokjin pretended to be disgusted, but broke out in laughter after the couple did. 

“I really wanna thank you for all you’ve done. We would have never come that close if it wasn’t for you.” Jungkook said a bit shyly, hugging Jimin closer. 

“Jimin is treating me GIVENCHY, you can join” He shrugged it off, but just in case Jungkook didn’t know how to handle his jokes, he quickly added “I was joking, you’re not as rich as Jimin, so please don’t.” 

Jungkook just smiled softly, giving him a nod. “I will think of something else” he said and Jimin gave his arms a squeeze. 

They stayed up a little longer than planned after meeting Seokjin in the living room, but eventually retreated to their room, snuggled back to bed and quickly drifted into their dreamland. 


	49. Chapter 49

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are going viral on the internet

 

(JK's fan account in case someone forgot :3)

 

 

 


	50. Chapter 50

Soon after that the couple had to go separate ways. Jimin was in the middle of comeback preparations while Jungkook was catching up on tattoo appointments. It wasn’t easy on both, to be separated again after quite some time spent together, but one was coping better than the other. 

While Jungkook of course missed him, he had noticed he was neglecting things for Jimin. It didn’t feel wrong at all, but he had also missed this or that. It was okay though, because being with Jimin, with an idol, meant facing some difficulties, having to make compromises and while he knew he could as well go to work day by day, then go back home to Jimin in the time he was off schedule, like Yoongi did, he was happy to have a flexible life and be able to make his world revolve around Jimin whenever they were given days off and take a step back from work. But now, back to his daily life, he also enjoyed spending time with Jiho again, with Bambam who he had finally met again and taken out for dinner as a small thank you for giving him this opportunity at the photo shooting and with Yoongi after work. 

Jimin on the other hand felt uneasy without Jungkook. Maybe it was the fact that he was used to being dictated all his life but came to his company at the young age and had missed the leading hand ever since, but he was somehow lost. Jungkook was only older by two years, but he still looked up to him, felt save and protected around him. He had not noticed until now how dependent he had grown on him and never until now has he known how bad dependence could be. 

Meal time was fun time, Jungkook had lived by that and he would make sure to distract him with stories, to feed him, to pat and kiss him and, whenever they were home, make him sit in his lap or at least sit close to him. Now it wasn’t that Jimin was unwilling to continue that, Jungkook had made him feel good, desirable, sexy, just perfect the way he was, but now, no.. things were different when he wasn’t around and maybe his thoughts were right, maybe people were right about him being fat, maybe it was Jungkook who had… lied? No, never would he. So why was it that Jimin started hearing this voice in his head again that would tell him that he was ugly, fat and not good enough? Why did he start doubting himself? He felt pathetic to see how much he needed his boyfriend to feel good about himself. 

For some days, Jimin was good, but then they played this silly game where they’d admit things to each other and no matter what it was, you’d have to answer with “I see”, it was just something they were doing when they had some drinks at home. All was fine, Jimin was amused until Seokjin had told him “When you’d ask me whether you put on weight I really wanna say you look like a pig, but I can’t because I don’t want you to get hurt.” and Jimin was laughing and sinking down to his knees but with it the last bit of self respect and love he had broke. Not even Seokjin telling him he was sorry and that it was a joke was helping and while playing it cool, Jimin broke down in his room. He didn’t want to call Jungkook for some reason he wasn’t really able to understand, but just cried himself to sleep. 

The good thing was that he was put on a diet with a strict workout plan that he followed and it almost felt natural and like home, an abusive home, to return to being the old Jimin. He skipped meals or sometimes he really just was too busy to eat, then again he would binge eat in his room to force it out. Did it make him happy? Hell no. Seeing his weight going down made his stomach twist in an insane mix of pride and fear, fear to not be able to stop himself again, fear to end up in a worse shape than where Jungkook had picked him up from. It made him hate himself so much more to feel his own psyche working against his body, his sane mind and his health. 

It wasn’t until that one time, let’s be honest here starving was the better option than hanging his head over the toilet, when Jimin’s hand clung to the toilet seat that something in him clicked. His ring, their promise ring clinked against the surface and Jimin halted as if he just snapped out of his daze. He spit the mucus out, flushed the toilet and moved over to the sink to wash his mouth and face, before he sank down, back against the wall, staring at this ring and he started sobbing and clenching his fists. He  _ understood _ now. Jimin rubbed his palms against his knees and looked back and forth between the little mark that was back on his finger and the ring. He vividly relived the moment Jungkook touched it for the first time and this  _ look _ in his eyes. Something in Jungkook had broken at the realization that something was terribly wrong with Jimin and up until now, Jimin has not been ready to talk about it, to even admit it to himself. He had pretended to be fine for as long as he could remember when in truth he was far from it and he knew he needed help. Jimin’s tears were running down his cheeks like a waterfall and he just couldn’t stop. All these months he had hurt himself and why? Because he wanted to please others or because he hated himself? Surely both things were connected in a vicious way. He was an idol, he needed to please people, he needed to be perfect and it has never mattered what was perfect in his eyes. What he thought was okay has always been a catastrophe to his parents. It had taught him one thing:  _ he was never good enough.  _

 

He needed to call Jungkook. He needed to hear his soothing voice. He needed to know that everything was going to be alright, but he went to bed and ended up crying and not calling him, thinking tomorrow would be a better day.

 

Tomorrow came and it was another rehearsal day for the comeback after his morning started with the torture his personal trainer put him through. Jimin managed to have two bananas for breakfast but then again it was nothing compared to the calories he burnt for what was about to follow. Now Park Jimin wasn’t one to bother others or even listen to the obvious signals his body sent of exhaustion such as dizziness and nausea. Instead he kept forcing himself to go on until, well, he would once again fade. This time, however, it wasn’t just a matter of milliseconds, like the other dozen times he would momentarily pass out, mostly even catching himself before he’d even lose control over his body. This time his weak body just gave in and He sank down to the floor with a thud. While the choreographer, to his defense, they had a good relationship, thought he was joking, Namjoon knew something was off. It needed a lot of calling his name, splashing water and placing his legs up in the air for Jimin to regain his consciousness. Needless to say the practice was over that day and his bandmembers also insisted on calling a doctor to check his vitals. Jimin was having none of it, but he wasn’t exactly in the position to argue much. Things would have to change from now on, even they saw that now. 

 

* * *

  
  


 

“Hyung? What can I do for you?” Jungkook picked up the phone, worry in his voice as he wasn’t used to Seokjin calling him. 

“Can you please come over?” Seokjin said and he was far from his usual cheerful self. 

Jungkook stopped the treadmill, wiped his sweat off and sat down by the window, his heart sunken to its lowest point. “What happened?” He asked as calmly as someone could sound while almost suffering a heart attack, every scenario from ‘Jimin needs cuddles’ to ‘something terrible happened to Jimin’ playing in his head. What followed seemed to be a mix of both, but Jungkook sensed it still rather was the latter than former. 

“Jimin fainted during practice. The doctor says he is fine and that he needs to eat and drink more when he exercises that much, but he is a bit upset and doesn’t want to rest, so if you can make the time?” Seokjin asked softly, ending his unfinished question with a little sigh. 

“I’ll be there in twenty minutes, you make sure he doesn’t leave his bed, alright?” 

“Thank you Jungkook-ah.”

“Thank you, hyung.” 

Jungkook stopped his training in the middle, hurried to the dressing room where he took a shower faster than during middle school when he used to stay in bed for too long and had to hurry to not miss the bus. Still half wet, he put on some fresh boxers, sweatpants and a white shirt, before running out of the gym and to his car. He combed his hair at the first red signal and used his deodorant at the second, spending the following moisturizing his face and trying to not freak out. 

Jungkook expected the worst when he entered the house after Seokjin had opened him. 

“He’s in his room, I told him to sleep, he doesn’t know that you’re coming.” Seokjin spoke, his voice layered with sadness. 

“Thanks again for calling me.” Jungkook forced a smile, kicked his shoes off and went straight for the familiar bedroom. 

 

Jimin was lying in his bed, tired but unable to sleep more, worn out, but his mind didn’t allow him to fully rest. His eyes were closed though and his thoughts were revolving around Jungkook. He needed to talk to him and see him, but then again Jungkook would be so disappointed to see all the help he had given Jimin the past few weeks were for nothing, right? Jimin would not be able to stand the look he’d been given, to see how much of a failure he was.    
He only opened his eyes when he felt a weight on his bed, surprised to see it was the man who was running around in his head. “Jungkook?” He exclaimed, his eyes big.    
“Hello, angel” Jungkook smiled softly and reached his hand out to hold Jimin’s and he didn’t miss the way their promising ring sat on his finger so loosely, he thought it must fall off when he made a harsh move. It hurt. 

Jimin sat up and wrapped his arms around Jungkook and he did what Jungkook has always hated the most - he cried. The petite frame was shaking in his strong arms and it wasn’t easy to even soothe him. Jungkook was rocking him like a baby, patting his back or drawing invisible patterns with his fingertips and he didn’t dare to ask why he was crying until Jimin caught his breath. When he did, however, it didn’t even need a question, Jimin started talking by himself.    
“I need you, I am sorry I am weak and I cannot take care of myself alone..” His voice was cracking and single sobs were still escaping his throat. 

Jungkook shushed him. It was good they were finally addressing this topic, but he hated to hear Jimin talking so low about himself. 

“It’s not easy, I cannot even imagine. Just.. know that I am here, alright? Even if I am not with you physically, I am right here..” Jungkook said softly, extending his hand to touch Jimin’s chest where his heart was. That gesture made the smaller one tear up again and cling onto his neck more.    
Jimin has made decisions in this very moment. Decisions he would not tell anyone yet, but he knew they would change his whole life. 

 

Jungkook could tell Jimin was lost in thoughts and while trying to remember all the articles he has read about people with eating disorders, he now was afraid to address the topic further, afraid to be pushed away or start a fight. So as much as he hated it, for now he didn’t say anything. They both couldn’t act like nothing happened, both knew they had talking to do, but it seemed like none of them wanted to be the one who started. 

Although it was barely 9pm, the couple ended up cuddled into the narrow bed (at least too narrow for two to comfortably sleep in a different position than both spooned up) they both grew tired. Jungkook only sat up to take off his shirt, after they turned off the air conditioner for the night, when Jimin had turned to look at him and touch him instead, but with all that was happening at the moment, Jungkook wasn’t feeling it. It even seemed to him as if Jimin was using sex as a way to overcome the awkwardness and grow closer, to ignore that there were much more important things to talk about than loving each other sexually. Yet again it was Jimin they were talking about, Jungkook felt bad turning him down.    
“Baby.. you should rest.” He whispered, holding his hand softly. 

“I can do that afterwards.” He singsang and snuggled closer after taking off his own shirt, kissing over his chest, but Jungkook was determined to not give in.

“I really need you to rest  _ now _ , Jimin.” His voice was still caring but much more commanding and it made Jimin pull away with a pout and Jungkook hated it. This was not what he intended, he didn’t want him to feel bad, he was just so damn worried. 

“I am sorry then..” Jimin whispered and turned away, his shirt in front of his chest, almost as if he was embarrassed. That’s when he saw, when he fully understood it. Jimin has been muscular ever since the first day they met, now wasn’t any difference, but he lost weight, Jungkook saw. He cradled him in his arms and at first Jimin fought it, deeply hurt about the rejection, but he gave in. 

“Do you think I’m ugly?” He sobbed quietly and he hated to see he made his angel cry.

“Oh god, no! Why would you think that, Minnie..”

“Usually you’re crazy about me, but you don’t want me today.. Are you angry at me? You must be!” 

Jungkook shut his eyes tightly at how much it pained him to hear his favorite voice sounding so broken. “I am not angry and I think you’re the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen and that will never change, Jiminie”

The name made him smile a bit, he had felt scolded earlier when his boyfriend had just called him by his name, no Minnie, Jiminie, Angel or anything else he used to call him.

Jungkook kept pondering on what to do and what to say. Yoongi’s words were replaying in his brain:

“Listen, boy! You love him, we’ve been knew, but you can’t break under that boy, alright? I won’t sit here and watch my best friend destroying himself - This kid loves you just as much and he is broken, that’s obvious, but don’t you ever think it’s your task or duty to fix him. He can only do that himself, with your help, yes. Don’t make him the center of your life, you’ve been neglecting your career, your hobbies, your friends. You’re in love, I am happy for you, just think about it. You are no doctor, you cannot treat or cure his problems, he needs to face them and you can be there to help him with that”

At first Jungkook has been angry at him. He was his hyung, he didn’t want to pick up a fight with him, so he just left, but the words didn’t. They kept replaying in his head and the more he thought about it, the more truth he found in them. Now Jungkook was still not fully agreeing with it, he, for example, saw no wrong in making Jimin the center of his life, but what took a toll on him was the urge to help him with his eating disorder. Not only that, Jungkook was afraid to make mistakes. Blame it on his perfectionist of a mind, he was used to being good at things and this, the relationship with Jimin, was one of the few things that actually really mattered to him, the  _ one _ thing he was not supposed or allowed to fuck up. He had been planning to talk to Jimin about it, to address the topic in the calmest way, but how could he possibly? Jungkook had read all the tips, do’s and don’ts about approaching such a topic, but his panic that something could go wrong numbed him. Then again now it felt like life was slipping through his fingers. He held Jimin in his arms, but he was watching him destroying himself and it broke him. Losing Jimin was scaring him more than the possibility of a fight breaking lose when Jungkook would rub him the wrong way. The weight he had to carry, the weight he put onto his own shoulders because he was well aware that no one else had the same expectations of him than he had, were breaking him and he crumbled. There was nothing left of the strong and collected Jungkook he had been, well, most of the time.

“I’m scared, baby, I’m so scared.” Jungkook whispered and now it was his voice that broke. 

“What are you scared of, Bunny?” Jimin was alerted and his hands held onto Jungkook’s tighter. 

“I can’t lose you, Minnie, you hear me? We both know I know about it, but we never talked about it. I tried reading as much as I can about it, but what does all the reading help me? Nothing! I still don’t know how it got that far, why you feel like you have to do this why you can do it with me but not without me because I’ve never asked you. I am afraid you’ll get angry, I am afraid you’re not ready to talk about it and push me away, but truth is.. I really can’t lose you Jimin. If you lose more weight…” Jungkook stopped here, his sobs were not allowing him to speak his thoughts out loud, hell, he didn’t even want to think about it. 

Silence, no words, only their heartbreaking sobs and the couple clinging to each other. Both tried to calm down, stop crying and Jimin turned around, leaning against the back of the bed. He pulled Jungkook into his arms, letting him lie halfway on his lap with his head against his chest. Jimin felt terrible, worse than he thought he’d feel. He naively thought Jungkook was just angry at him for not sticking to eating healthily, he underestimated what all the time has done to Jungkook. He didn’t know about the researches and how troubled he was to not approach him with it, how many unspoken things and hidden feelings there were.

 

“I am sorry, Jungkook” Jimin apologized for what felt like the nth time. “Thank you for being so honest with me tonight. I didn’t know it was affecting you so much..” Jimin began speaking. He had mastered speaking in front of thousands of fans while smiling back his tears, he could as well keep his voice a little stable for an important matter as this. 

“I cannot really tell you when it started. It just got out of hand. At some point I liked the way my body burnt after over-exercising and how I felt so proud when my scale showed less. It was only later when…” He had to pause. He had never really tried to talk about this to anyone, not even to himself. He just tried to act like nothing was wrong, hence why he never asked himself how this madness even started. “..when I couldn’t eat anymore. I just felt so bad about everything. Sometimes when I ate something unhealthy, my fitness trainer caught me and yelled at me. He said all this training was for nothing and how much extra training I had to do to get rid of those calories. He said if I continued like that, I will get fat and ugly again and at some point I believed him.”

Jungkook’s nostrils flared with anger and someone have mercy on this fitness trainer because Jungkook would not be able to hold himself back if he was ever to set one foot in the same room as this man. However, he didn’t dare to interrupt, proud that Jimin was opening up, speaking as calmly as this situation lets him and he just listened, while tears were still running down his temple as he looked at Jimin. 

“There were a lot of things I felt I couldn’t control and it made me feel helpless. I liked the thought of deciding what to do with my body, but it got out of control. First it was for the diet where I skipped some meals, refusing to give my body what it asked for, but at some point I almost got addicted to this feeling.. to my stomach feeling empty. Sometimes I would eat small things, sometimes I couldn’t stop myself and I just ate everything, usually that ended down the toilet.” Jimin paused and his eyes met Jungkook’s. It pained him to see that this was having these effects on his boyfriend, but it was also the final little thing he needed to be convinced that he couldn’t just go on with that anymore. It was not only about himself anymore, it was about his relationship, his partner, his band, even his life. He couldn’t risk that anymore, something had to change.    
“Stupid question, but… isn’t that painful?” Jungkook asked and he found a strong liking in the protecting hold of Jimin’s arms, he could let go for once, Jungkook was the little spoon and it wasn’t a bad thing at all.

“Throwing up? It is. It feels horrible and I hate it. It’s nothing your body is supposed to do unless it tries to protect itself or something.. if that even makes sense. It’s extremely painful. The throat hurts hours after, eyes sting, just everything that takes part in the digestion gets fucked up.” Jimin said and sighed. 

“Angel.. can I ask you one thing?” Jungkook asked again after a long pause. 

“Anything, bunny.”

“Do you... hate yourself?”

Jimin sighed. “I don’t know if it’s hate. I’ve never loved myself either. There is always room for improvement, my parents asked a lot of me when I was younger and it just turned me into a perfectionist. Nothing I do is ever good enough for myself and that’s hard.. I can barely ever feel proud of myself and yes, sometimes I do hate myself, sometimes I like myself, it depends on the day..” Jimin honestly answered and it surprisingly felt good to voice all these dark thoughts for once. He has never talked to anyone about this, about the pressure he grew up with, about what it meant to be in an idol band successful as they were. He felt like everyone just needed them to function and while there were people taking care of your body always in reach, there has never been one who would listen to your worries or take care of your psyche. Talking to Jungkook as he was now showed him there was more to life, there was more than getting up every day doing what he loved but also what others wanted him to do. He loved his band, loved making music, but he was not able to be himself. Park Jimin had to be perfect for cameras, flawless, a good body, a friendly smile, a perfect voice. He couldn’t skip a day and lie in bed instead, not shave for a few days when he didn’t feel like it, barely had time to even meet people, hence why there barely was anyone besides Taehyung and now, Jungkook. Was this what he really wanted to do with his life? Jimin suddenly saw the answer very clearly: no. Apart from living in a society with so many prejudices, homophobia, he just wanted to be happy, needed Jungkook to be a part of this, wanted to have the chance to live a life that was as closest to normal as it could be after being a world known star. 

“Are you still with me, Minnie?”

“Mh? Ah.. yeah!” Jimin smiled softly, pulling Jungkook closer to kiss him softly. “And I always will be. You won’t leave me. Just… stay with me? I can only do this with you.” Jimin’s eyes were soft, one hand cupping Jungkook’s cheek. 

“Of course, Minnie. Always and whatever you need. I believe in you.”

Both smiled. Tears dried and bodies weak, both fell asleep and this time it was Jungkook spooned against Jimin.

  
  


* * *

 

 

It must have been a couple of hours later when Jungkook woke up, head hurting, throat dry. He got up, carefully winding himself out of Jimin’s hold, and walked to the kitchen. He found the others having dinner there, figuring they really must have passed out around 9:30pm already. 

“You good?” Namjoon asked and Jungkook was lost for words. 

“Yeah..” He just said and rummaged through their shelves until he found some pain killer which he then drowned with a glass of water. 

“Is he alright? Are you alright? Have you.. been crying?” Seokjin asked, worry in his eyes.

“We are alright, just..” Jungkook paused, it really wasn’t his place to tell, was it? Jimin needed him, he didn’t want to break his trust, but then again could he really do this on his own? He was no specialist, not even a doctor and he knew he wouldn’t be able to be with him 24/7, so it would have been better for everyone if the others knew, so he didn’t have to be afraid that Jimin would relapse every time they were apart. 

“Have you noticed anything weird about him?” Jungkook continued, but decided to get more specific. “His diets I mean..”

“He’s very determined to follow them. He’s overdoing it if you ask me, but he looks fit.” Seokjin said and sat down with Namjoo on his side. Jungkook looked at the latter, thinking he was too smart to not notice anything. 

“How bad is it?” Namjoo blurted out. “I.. believed in his explanations or.. possible lies, but to be honest, I never had a good feeling about it. 

Jungkook nodded.

“Late meeting? Did I miss something?” Hoseok walked in and looked at Jungkook. His eyes weren’t full of hate towards the other anymore, it seemed like Yoongi cured or changed him. That didn’t change the fact that Jungkook was still not very fond of him, but this concerned him as much as the others. 

“It’s about Jiminie” Namjoon said and Hoseok sat down. 

“He’s in a bad shape to be honest.” Jungkook started and it was hard to conceal his real emotions. He was scared and hurt, overwhelmed and helpless. “He is fit, but there is no fat left on his body. I know he doesn’t look very thin, that’s because of his body shape, but I see it… there is nothing but muscles under his skin which equally means he is underweighted.. I’m.. really worried.” That’s the moment he broke. Jungkook turned away to not face the others when there was no stopping of the tears that rolled down his cheeks, the sobs that echoed through the room. The three knew he wasn’t done talking yet, but he needed a break and he needed a friend.

Seokjin was the first to get up. He had the closest relationship to him, so he didn’t hesitate to pat his back and give him some tissues from the box nearby. The other two followed, each with a hand on his back, and waited patiently for Jungkook to continue talking.

Seeing Jungkook cry changed a lot in Hoseok. He felt stupid for hating Jungkook, for thinking he wasn’t good enough for Jimin when he was the only one who clearly saw what the others haven’t seen, although they were spending more time with him, knew him longer. He felt stupid for assuming Jungkook was a macho, a playboy who would hurt Jimin, looking all tough and intimidating with his broad shoulders, piercings and tattoos. The man he saw now was broken, hurt and he could clearly see how much he loved their Jimin. He felt thankful, but this wasn’t the time to talk about it, he would properly apologize again another day. Now it was about Jimin.

 

A few minutes have passed and Jungkook stopped crying, the sobs were irregular but rare enough to continue speaking. “He’s sick, really sick. I’ve seen it the first day I came here, he threw up after the food, saying his stomach was acting up and I believed him because well, it technically was a date, so I was extremely nervous too. When we had pizza at my place he threw up as well, saying it was too greasy. He never told me, I… might have eavesdropped..” 

Seokjin chuckled, more like to ease the situation a bit, while Namjoon clearly saw the bigger picture. He sighed, thinking about all the times he had witnessed that before, followed by all the lies he wanted to believe in, hoping that the bad feeling was doing him wrong. 

“When he came back to me, well he told me he had to shit basically, but when I took his hands, I saw the bite marks.” Jungkook continued speaking with a shaky voice. He had to take deep breaths in between, concentrate on anything but the feelings, so he wouldn’t start crying again. For emphasis, he bent his index finger and stuck it in his mouth, pressing his front teeth into it to then show the others what he was talking about and their faces went blank as if they were hit by realization. 

“Well, that’s the moment I knew and I started reading more about it, but it wasn’t until today I really talked to him about it. He wants to get better, he’s suffering, he’s unhappy and he doesn’t know I am telling you all this, but we need to help him, I can’t do it alone, I am not always here to do so” Jungkook turned around to look at the others and there was no doubt in their eyes. They weren’t just talking about a band member here, it was about family.

“Anything it takes” Namjoon replied right away with a single determined nod.

“Yes!” Hoseok agreed. 

“I want him to be happy, so yes, you can count on us!” Seokjin said and gave him an encouraging smile. 

Jungkook nodded, biting his shaking lips, hand coming up to wipe away the single tear.

 

 

“J-Jungkook?”

Oh no, this was bad.

“Minnie!” He exclaimed and oh god, how was he supposed to explain that he had told his band without his consent?

“You… told them?” His voice was small, but his eyes were big.

“I-I’m sorry, Jiminie… I should have asked you before, but we will all support you. Together we can do it, we are here for you!” Jungkook tried, but he was desperately screaming on the inside. He felt horrible for betraying his boyfriend like that and he was so scared that he had ruined it, broken the trust Jimin had in him.

The smaller looked at his family, all wearing encouraging little smiles, then back at Jungkook. He could see how sorry he was that he had told them, but Jimin wasn’t angry. It wasn’t okay to just tell them without asking him first, but who was he to make Jungkook feel bad about this now? His boyfriend suffered enough watching him ruin his health, he now knew how heavy the weight on his shoulders has been and he believed in them all and he believed that he was able to do it with their help. 

Tears started to form at the brim of his eyes and fell as soon as he blinked, but Jimin smiled and walked towards them, hugging them one after the other, before he remained in Jungkook’s arms. 

“I’m sorry I haven’t done anything earlier” Namjoon apologized. 

“Don’t be silly, I didn’t want you to.”

Both nodded.

 

Silence fell over them, but none that made them feel uncomfortable. The news hit them hard, it was a lot to process and each of them knew they needed to learn more about Jimin’s problems first in order to help him. It would need researching, several talks with Jimin and Jungkook for them to understand what they could do to help, but they were willing to.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apology this is so late. I still know where to go with this and I still want to finish it but the updates will continue to be rare, hopefully not as rare as this one, though.   
> Bad thing is depressions, pain and not knowing what's wrong with my knees for months put me in a bad mood + I gained more weight and feel very gross :')  
> Good thing is the first knee surgery is this week, so after both are done and the knees are healed, I can finally get back to sports and be happier :,)  
> anyways, I hope you enjoy the chapter.   
> Any guesses how the story will continue?


	51. Chapter 51

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> YOU'VE REACHED THE PEAK OF THE STORY, shit will go down, bohoo

The good thing about being a tattoo artist of his level was that he made good money. Then again it was an irregular work, he didn’t have clients every day, but some weeks were packed. If he would work harder to promote himself on social medias, he’d be able to get his schedule packed for a few months ahead, but when he had to decide between money and Jimin, he didn’t hesitate. For the next remaining weeks of the comeback preparations Jungkook moved into the house to be with Jimin. He would then drive to his studio and work for as long as appointments made him, then went back to Jimin to be with him in the evenings, especially for dinner. Jimin’s body was weakened, his mind exhausted and although the will to get better was there, he had to constantly fight against his own extraterrestrial standards and expectations. He barely allowed himself to rest, but thanks to the fact that others now knew, they helped him, forced him to rest, if they had to. 

 

They all celebrated Jungkook’s birthday in his apartment and he was willing to minimize the people he invited to whom he trusted most, just to be able to have JRJ and Seokjin with him as well, he became part of them now. 

 

JRJ made their comeback in the first October week. Apart from all the rumors which even the management heard of, or maybe thanks to them, their new single was a huge success and Jimin’s birthday was celebrated after one of the many promotion performances they had. Jungkook was there as well, Jimin had insisted. 

 

Things weren’t easy from then on. Jimin was no longer willing to hide himself and Jungkook, as much as everyone told him to. While he wouldn’t exactly run on stage and kiss his boyfriend there, he wished to just constantly have him around and not hide him from the staff or the management and that was what he did. Of course people were talking to him, telling him to break up or at least, once they realized Jimin was no longer easy to manipulate and order around, be subtle about it, but Jimin wasn’t having it, he was developing a rebellious side along with confidence. Countless of talks with the management followed that lead nowhere. Jungkook found himself torn between considering himself very lucky and being as worried as a boyfriend could possibly be. Now he didn’t want to start any fights with Jimin himself, but it was about his career and their future. Coming out in Korea as an idol in one of the most famous boybands wasn’t especially the key to a successful and stressful life. Indeed everyone but (or was it including) Jimin was pretty sure that continuing with their music in the focus was nearly impossible. The media would tear them apart, it would be only about him being gay, no one would care about the fact that people used to love them and that it was about the meaningfulness of the lyrics, about the chemistry about the members or the fact that they’ve influenced thousands of people.

 

“Jimin-ah, please..” Namjoon sighed. He was still the one, after Jungkook and Taehyung, but Taehyung was not really helpful with that, who had the biggest influence on the maknae. “You know that Seokjin-hyung and I have been dating for quite a while. We, too, have to hide, but it’s for the greater good. I don’t say it’s good or that I like it, but you have to think this through and what being so open about your relationship means for you, for our band and for your relationship.” He tried to reason, but Jimin was stubborn. 

“Taehyung and Yugyeom have been spotted kissing and confirmed their relationship?” He argued, arms folding in front of his chest, after his hand ran through his now black hair for the nth time this evening. On a side note, Jungkook really tried to follow the conversation, even support the other members, but these black hair made Jimin look irresistible, so he was really no help, sitting across the table with his mouth half opened, lips glossy from the constant licking, eyes big in admiration.

“That’s something entirely different, Jimin. Taehyung is a model. You know that he and the GUCCI marketing talked about this beforehand. More press is always good for a model unless it’s bad for the image of the brands. Yugyeom is a dancer, sure people could boykott his dance classes or studios in the worst case scenario, but I think for you..” He shook his head, as he didn’t know what else to say to make Jimin understand.    
“Jimin-ah, Yoongi and I want to stay as private as possible. You got to know him, he would hate all the press on him, so have you thought about that? Have you thought about that Jungkook has to move? He isn’t safe anymore living in the middle of the city, can’t just stroll through the city anymore without being noticed or even followed by anyone. Let’s not think of the things people might do to him because they are jealous...of him..” Hoseok stuttered at the end. He thought he was scoring a point there, until he realised that this probably was the wrong person speaking.    
“I survived you, so” Jungkook snapped out of his trance with a cocky comment and a little snort. “I mean.. I do enjoy being a nobody, I cannot really imagine how it must be for you. Sure, I get to experience it whenever I am with Jimin, but when I am not, I am just JEon Jungkkook”

Jimin listened to everyone and it was clear for them to see that he began to think this through with a clearer mind, that he began to consider this would be life changing for them all. But suddenly he felt anxiety wash through his veins that felt like his body was set on fire. He was nervous, nervous to speak about what has been on his mind the last months. He was sure about these changes, he just had to make them understand that his following words were not those of a sassy boy.    
Jungkook didn’t need long to sense the distress of his boyfriend and so he got up to sit down on the couch next to him and take his hand which was, surprisingly, coated with a thin layer of sweat. “What is it, angel?” He whispered for only Jimin to hear and was soon met by anxious and wet eyes. 

Jimin took a deep breath and, in his mind, tried to imagine that this was one of the many award shows where he spoke slowly and mostly had his emotions enough under control not to cry. What Jungkook didn’t expect, though, was that Jimin averted his gaze towards the others, before he began to speak. 

“I.. want you to know that what I will say now is the result of many sleepless nights over months, if not years. Please..just let me talk..” And just like that, the other men exchanged nervous gazes, but none dared to speak up.

“I’m the youngest, I.. was a kid when I came here, my character wasn’t formed completely, it was easy to influence me. We all know certain people left after mistreating us, me, but it still happened. It was my dream to become a dancer, I was never really confident enough to be the only vocalist between two rappers, so it’s been really hard on me and my confidence from the beginning.”

Everyone listened. Jungkook tried to be the best mental support he could be by letting his thumb stroke over the smaller’s hand, unconsciously playing with their promise ring, the other hand on Jimin’s back. 

Seokjin had automatically pulled the box of tissues closer and hooked his arm with Namjoon’s for emotional support. He didn’t know what exactly to expect, but he could tell that it would be deep. 

 

Jimin has taken some deep, but shaky breaths that he exhaled slowly through his slightly parted lips. Jungkook watched every move, still thinking those lips made him look like the most adorable duckling on the planet. 

“I fought hard, we all did. None of us had it easy, please don’t think I am pitying myself.”

They all shook their heads, none of them thought Jimin was presenting himself in some kind of victim role. 

“You are my family more than my actually family is my family.” He continued and that was all Seokjin needed to release a soft sob and although he had preferred to just wipe the tear that slipped his eye on Namjoon’s sweater, latter handed him a tissue and intertwined their fingers.

“It’s been a long and hard way for us. We deserve the fans we have, we deserve the money we make and the fame we have, don’t we? For all the hard work? It paid off, one would think.” Jimin laughed breathily, but it died down soon. 

“I thought it did for a long time, for the longest time. I am living my dream, so how is it I still feel empty, how is it I beat myself up about things, torture myself, why does my mind work against my own health? Ain’t I supposed to be happy at least most of the time?” He looked around and into each of their faces. Jimin found it hard to read them, it was something he has always been bad at. They looked troubled, that was for sure, but, given the current circumstances, it was nothing surprising, either. Did they understand or not? Did they feel the same or not? Did they pity him or not? Did any of them have a clue what he was about to say or not?

“We all give up our normal life, going to school, meeting friends after schools, doing family stuff, going on dates, breaking hearts and having ours broken, we even give up friends. Well, we might be unintentionally pros at breaking our fans hearts.” Jimin chuckled and earned a little laugh from all of them as well. For a few seconds the tension eased, but like a cool breeze in a summer heat, it was gone just as fast as it had come and they were back in this suffocating atmosphere. 

“When I met Jungkook, everything changed. I’m sure you feel similar, you with Yoongi-hyung, you with Seokjin-hyung.”

They nodded.

“Jungkook filled the darkness, made me happy in a way I never felt before.”

Now it was Jungkook’s turn to inhale sharply in a poor attempt to hold that tsunami of emotions back. However, he failed miserably. Teary-eyed and with his lip ring shoved aside to nibble on this one spot on his lip that, Jimin could swear, naturally had a darker color by now from all this abusement, he continued looking at Jimin.

“What I meant to say is.. I will not resign the contract.” Jimin then said and made everyone gasp. 

“ _ What?”  _

_ “Jimin, why?” _

_ “No, please!” _

_ “Jimin are you sure?” _

Everyone was agitated, but they shut up when Jimin inhaled to elaborate. This wasn’t exactly how he planned it to go. He thought he could lead them there slowly, so the drop of the news wouldn’t have such an impact, he didn’t know when he decided to abort this mission and just throw it at them.

“I figured living my dream is not what makes me happy, the life I am living is not what I dreamt of, either. I need dancing, I need the singing and I need you, but there are other ways if making music will be something I cannot make a living of anymore, I will continue doing so anyways and I will find something else. Being an idol is not me anymore, I am not the kind of idol they want to see. Someone with chubby cheeks and mono-lids, someone who keeps fucking up notes, someone who’s gay and mentally struggling, I am not made to live a life in the spotlight, I guess.” He smiled sadly.

“I think,” Jungkook stopped, “can I say something, Jiminie?”

He nodded. 

“I think I can follow your thoughts and I, too, think it will be very hard for you if you really want to come out, it won’t be easy for our relationship, either. But, keep in mind I am only a regular human and your biggest fan, so this is just my opinion, I think you are just the idol the industry needs, an idol Korea’s youth needs.”

Curious eyes were on him, nudging him to speak further, but Namjoo could see where this was going and he was agreeing with a definite nod. 

“I think it’s entirely wrong that idols train until they collapse, live a life like you were doing, basically becoming sick by all the pressure from the expectations. I also think it is even worse that people follow you in that, though. Idols reveal their diet, let’s take the IU diet, why? You torture yourself for a few days for what? To have a wider gap between their legs, to make hip bones stand out more, to have a sharper jawline? And that gives you what? Less fat means more confidence, why? People being blind like that is the reason I never even tried to become an idol. I wouldn’t want to change for that. I have scars, I have a bad skin, bunny teeth, probably too much muscles, tattoos and piercings and all this is a part of me.”

Jimin smiled and pulled him closer. Jungkook’s words always made him feel better, even though he still wasn’t entirely sure where this was going. 

“If you ask me,” he then continued, “it is about time someone authentic is at the top of the charts. You could help people having more confidence in who they are once you gain confidence yourself. They don’t need to wear an XS to be pretty, girls can wear XXL and be sexy, boys can be small and handsome.” He stopped to giggle, as he basically described Jimin, pulled him closer and kissed his cheek. “But you could as well show them what it is like to be an idol, tell them what you’ve been through..I know it’s.. critical, but I think your label deserves to die. Maybe the society would stop seeing idols in a bad light and appreciate that they work hard too, obviously, I mean...”

“I love that idea” Seokjin was enthusiastic, his voice, however, nasal from all the sniffing. 

“I don’t know..” Jimin said and shook his head. 

“You proved that you’re strong, Jiminie. By admitting your eating disorder, by trying to get better, by telling people to fuck off, you’re going to be so strong and I am proud of you.”

Jimin broke into the widest smile, shoulders pulled up to his neck, nose scrunched and the cutest of all giggles made Jungkook think he could as well jump off the window (not that it would get him far on the first level) instead of letting his heart endure this level of torture. 

“Fact is that I don’t think our label will support me. I am pretty sure they won’t. They hate that I am gay, they would never support me in saying such things.”

As sad as it was, the others had to agree. The more successful they became, the more they were treated like machines to bring them more and more money. As a leader, Namjoon has been involved with them the most, so he knew what Jimin was talking about and he had his fair share of problems too, especially now that he was working on his mixtape, something the management wasn’t really fond of. 

“Then let’s quit.” Hoseok said as if it was nothing. 

He was stared at. 

“Well I ain’t gonna continue without Jimin? So I won’t sign, either.”

“Well, I won’t either,” Namjoon agreed. 

This was something Jimin really did not expect, so he needed a minute or two to collect himself before he was able to talk again. 

“You’re.. kinda unemployed because of me and you’re not even angry?” Jimin tried to understand, he really did. 

“I think we all need a break. In all these years we never had a proper vacation. We should take time off for ourselves, travel, relax, find inspiration. I will work on my mixtape, so will Hoseok, you should focus on getting healthier and enjoying the time with Jungkook-ah. Maybe, when we all feel refreshed and motivated again, we will find back together, maybe we will go separate ways. After all, we are family, so you being happy is more important to me.”

Everyone nodded and this was just as much as Jimin could take. Tears rolled down the pink cheeks Jungkook had tried to bite once (to his defense: he was tipsy) as he was convinced they were glazed donuts with tiny sprinkles on top (Jungkook spotting Jimin’s freckles for the first time, something that was always hidden under makeup or edited out, was a wild experience for both of them). Jimin hurried to hug Namjoon, soon joined by Hoseok, then by Seokjin. As much as Jungkook wanted to join the cuddle party, he thought it wasn’t his place, until none better than Hoseok had pulled him in as well. 

  
  


This was something everyone had to let sink first, two more singles with the next comeback at JRJ would be history.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the story will end soon, I think two or three more chapters.   
> If you made it till here, I'd love if you could take additional 5 minutes to tell me which aspects you liked and disliked or whether anything didn't satisfy you. Were there things that would have needed more explanation, were there relationships that you would have wanted to read more about (Taegyeom, Sope, Namjin or maybe their friendships with Bambam or Jiho or the relationship with their parents) or were there things about jikook you wanted more of (daily life, dates, sex, fights :,) ).  
> A reminder (also to myself): This is my first fan fiction in years, also the first I've ever written in english, also the first I will ever really end, lol. So I bet there are lots of typos or messed up grammar, so maybe you can ignore that and concentrate on the content :,)  
> For everyone who decides to help me with that: A BIG THANK YOU


End file.
